Never Let Go

by Cynthia Eden

Her soft touch burned him worse than any fire. But what he wouldn’t give for more of that burn right then.

  Cold water. Icy cold.

  He strode into the bathroom. He pushed the door closed behind him, but didn’t shut it fully. He just—he couldn’t shut her out. If she wanted to come in with him, hell, yes, he’d grab her and hold her tight. A yank of his hand had the shower thundering on once again. He stripped, shoving the rest of his clothes aside, before he climbed into the shower, moving beneath that icy water.

  He put his head beneath the spray, closing his eyes as he tried to shut out visions of Elizabeth. Of what he wanted with her. Of—

  Strawberries. How could she still smell like strawberries? But the scent was drifting to him, and he heard the soft creak of the door moving.

  His eyes opened and his head angled toward the door. Elizabeth stood there, as if frozen. But he didn’t want her frozen. He wanted her need, her desire, he wanted her to be wild for him. To want him so much that nothing else mattered.

  “Sawyer.”

  He didn’t try to hide his arousal. His dick was long and hard for her, and his body ached. A thin frame of glass separated them, and the glass was partially covered with steam, blocking his view of Elizabeth.

  Sawyer grabbed that glass door and shoved it aside.

  She stared at him.

  I almost lost her. Lost what I had just found again.

  Elizabeth let the towel drop to the floor. She didn’t speak as she came toward him.

  Fuck. Get the water warmer for her. His hand shot out and he cranked up the heat. He didn’t want Elizabeth cold. He always wanted her hot.

  Tense moments ticked past. Steam began to rise. A faint smile pulled at her lips as she climbed into the shower. As she stood less than an inch from him. The bathroom light was on, glaring down over them. His body was so much bigger than hers. Thicker, stronger, darker. He was covered in scars, marks that he would always carry. He felt too rough, too dangerous.

  And she—she was slender, but curved. Her skin was a soft gold, her body absolute perfection to him. But she was so delicate. So vulnerable. So breakable. He never wanted her broken.

  Her hand lifted and pressed to his heart. She still hadn’t said another word. She had to feel his dick shoving against her. She was staring at him with her deep, dark eyes, and he wished, he wished so much, that he could be the man she remembered.

  But I do remember one thing. I remember how to give her pleasure. I remember how to make her want me.

  So he did.

  His head bent. His mouth took hers. The water was still pouring on him, a hot bite on his back, and he didn’t care. Her mouth was open, her lips parted perfectly, and his tongue swept inside as he pulled her closer. Her nipples were tight, hard peaks. He wanted them in his mouth. Wanted to lick and suck until she was moaning for him. Until she was begging him to thrust into her. Begging him for release.

  Begging.

  Her legs parted as she moved closer. She was smaller than him, so much smaller. He lifted her up, moving her into position so that his cock pushed at the opening between her legs. She gave a little gasp, and his eager cock jerked even more for her. He turned, pushing her back against the tiled wall of the shower as he kept kissing her. He held her easily, even as one hand moved down her body. Moved to tease her sex, moved to make her moan.

  Her nails sank into his back. He kissed his way down her neck, stopping in the places that made her tremble the most. Stopping and licking, biting, then journeying down even as he lifted her higher.

  He licked her nipple. Pink and pretty and perfect for him. He licked and he sucked and when the dark urges inside of him told him to take, take, take…

  Sawyer thrust two fingers into her. Withdrew. Thrust again. He worked her sex, stretching her, making sure she was ready. They hadn’t spoken again, and he couldn’t speak. Not then.

  Fuck her. Claim her.

  His fingers withdrew. She was panting, her scent all around him. He positioned his cock, stared down a moment—down at their bodies as they pressed together. She was so perfect to him.

  Mine.

  He sank into her. Elizabeth’s legs wrapped around his hips and she squeezed him so tight. With that first plunge into her, all control was gone. Lost. He was maddened, desperate, but not for his pleasure. For hers. He had to give Elizabeth pleasure. So much pleasure that she forgot the man he’d been. So much pleasure that she wanted him. Broken, damaged, dangerous—didn’t matter. She would want him. Always, him.

  The way Sawyer knew he would always want her.

  He drove into her, tilting his body the way she liked, sliding down so that his cock stroked over her clit. Her nails sank deeper into him even as her sex squeezed him tighter. He thrust again and again, and when she came, when she exploded for him, it wasn’t enough.

  Not close.

  He stilled inside of her, and her sex squeezed him, contracted, held him in a white-hot grip. He didn’t want to come, not yet.

  Not yet.

  “Sawyer?”

  He gazed into the darkness of her eyes.

  His Elizabeth.

  Without a word—because talking was beyond him—he lowered her until Elizabeth’s toes touched the bottom of the shower. Then he yanked the faucet, turning off the water.

  “Sawyer, you didn’t—”

  He had her in his arms again. He carried her out of that bathroom and to the bed. Still not speaking, he spread her out, pushing her thighs apart and staring at her. All of her. So beautiful. How could he have forgotten her?

  You knew something was missing. All that time. A part of you was gone. That part—it was her.

  Sawyer put his mouth on her sex. He was rough, too wild, too far gone as he tasted her. Her hands sank into his hair and her hips surged up against him. He needed her to come again, at least once more, come for him. To let go with him. To give herself fully to him. Always.

  She tasted so good. They’d never given him wine at Lazarus. He knew what wine was, though, just as he knew about chocolate. He also knew those things didn’t taste as good as Elizabeth. They couldn’t.

  Nothing could.

  She came against his mouth. He loved it. Loved her pleasure. And he pulled back to lick his lips. To savor her and watch the pleasure slide over her face.

  “You,” Elizabeth gasped. “I need you.”

  He surged into her. The bed rocked beneath him as he drove harder and harder into his paradise. The climax hit him, barreling through his whole body, gutting him, driving him absolutely beyond rational thought—driving him so hard that all he could think about, all he knew—

  Was Elizabeth.

  His heart raced too fast, a drumbeat in his chest, and Sawyer shoved his body up so he wouldn’t crush Elizabeth. He propped himself up on his elbows and gazed at her even as his breath sawed in and out of his lungs. Her eyes were wide, her lips red, her smile was beautiful enough to break a man’s heart.

  “I missed you,” she confessed.

  And he knew those words weren’t for him—not for the new Sawyer, not for the man who couldn’t remember his past and was only designed to kill. No, those words, those soft tender words—they were for the lover she’d lost. The one she still loved.

  He also knew something else. Sawyer knew he was fucking insane because he was jealous of himself. Jaw locking, he withdrew from her body. He hated to leave her. He wanted to stay inside of her and fuck her endlessly.

  But they didn’t have forever. They barely had the moment they were in. Sliding from the bed, his muscles were tense. He headed for the bathroom.

  “Sawyer?”

  He cleaned up and got her a warm cloth. He came back to the bed to find she’d dragged a sheet over herself. With a soft touch, he pulled the sheet away, and he slid the cloth between her legs. “Sorry if I was…rough.”

  “I didn’t mind.” Her words were halting. “And you…weren’t.”

  She was lying. He didn’t need enhanced senses to know that. He tossed the
cloth onto the nightstand. His knuckles pressed to her throat. “I marked you here.” His knuckles trailed down her neck, moved to the curve of her shoulder. “Here.” Down, down he went, to the swell of her breast. “Here.”

  She caught his hand. “And I’m sure I marked you plenty. Do you want me to prove it with a body check?”

  His jaw locked. “Was it always like this?” Why was he asking? Shit, what did he want her to say? That it was better now? Better with the new Sawyer?

  “Like this?” Her head tilted. Her hair had already begun to dry. “Do you mean did we touch and go crazy?”

  He wanted to kiss the faint marks he’d left on her body. He wanted to mark her more.

  “Yes, it was always like this. I wanted you from the first moment I saw you, even though I knew it was wrong.”

  “Nothing about us will ever be wrong.”

  Her lashes flickered. “You…said that before. A long time ago.”

  “And I’m saying it again.” He caught her chin in his hand and forced her to stare at him. “Nothing about us is wrong. I know I’m different, but give me a chance. I can be better, I can get better. The poison—those dark emotions—they’re not going to rule me. They’re not as strong. They’re not—”

  I’m going to find you. The words poured into Sawyer’s mind. Only they weren’t weak. They were strong and clear. Very distinct in a voice he recognized. Five. No, no, the bastard had a name. Bryce King.

  I’m going to find you, and you’re going to watch while I kill your precious Elizabeth.

  “Sawyer?” Elizabeth curled her fingers around his wrist. “What is it?”

  You’re not the only one who’s out. Bryce’s laughter echoed in Sawyer’s mind. And I’m close, so close. The closer I get to you, the more power I’ll have over you. I’ve been holding back. I won’t hold back any longer.

  “Bryce,” he snarled. He let Elizabeth go, and his hand rose to grip the headboard behind her. “The bastard says he’s loose.”

  “What? What are you talking about?”

  “I hear him,” Sawyer felt the wood start to splinter beneath his grasp. “In my head.”

  You should have seen the fire. It was so beautiful. Burn, burn, burn…and the screams. God, they were so loud. The guards weren’t all unconscious when I let the fire go.

  Sawyer shook his head. You fucking bastard, did you kill them all?

  Laughter came again. We’ll never go back. Because there’s no place to go back to. They’re all gone. Now I can hunt who I want, I can kill who I want, and no one will ever cage me again.

  Sawyer’s temples throbbed.

  And guess who I want to hunt first, One? It’s you…because it’s time for a new leader in this pack. I’m going to kill your precious Elizabeth, and then I’ll kill you.

  Rage washed over Sawyer. Dark, twisting, consuming. Making him want to roar his fury. Making him want to attack. To destroy.

  Attack. Destroy. K—

  “Sawyer?” Elizabeth was stroking his cheek. “Talk to me!”

  How do you like that taste? Bryce taunted. Just wait until you see what I can really do. I’ve been pulling strings you don’t even know about, and it’s time for you to see the truth.

  “Get the fuck out of my head,” Sawyer snarled.

  Elizabeth’s eyes widened.

  “Now!” Sawyer roared and he sent a blast of pure rage flying back toward Bryce. He didn’t know if that trick would work, but he was too furious to stop.

  And…

  Bryce’s connection to him winked out.

  Elizabeth’s breath panted in and out. “Tell me you’re not having some kind of breakdown.”

  That would be easier to handle. “Bryce isn’t dead. The sonofabitch was just in my head.” He rose and paced away from the bed, his body full of desperate energy and his muscles tight with battle-ready tension. “He’s coming after me.” No, not just him. Bryce was doing something far worse. Swallowing, he faced Elizabeth. “He’s coming after you. Because of what I feel for you, the bastard is using you as a target. He’s going to hurt you so he can get to me.”

  She slid from the bed, pulling the sheet with her. “Why does he think I matter to you?”

  “Because he’s been in my head.” Because you do.

  “He can really do that? Slip into your mind?”

  “I think he can do a hell of a lot more than we all realized.” He whirled and stalked toward the backpack. He unzipped it and pulled out the damaged laptop. “Secrets are on this damn thing.”

  The floor groaned beneath her steps. “I told you when we were in the desert that I have a friend who can help us. If anyone can access the data on that machine, it will be Jay.”

  Jay. Her voice softened a bit when she said the other man’s name. Did she realize that? Sawyer looked back at her. “But where the hell is this Jay? We need answers now.”

  Her gaze darted to the phone on the nightstand. “Jay has some pretty incredible resources.”

  Well, wasn’t he just fucking fantastic, this mysterious Jay that she spoke of so easily.

  “If I call him…” She was still looking at the phone. “I know he can be here for us within the hour. He can take us out of here and put us in a safe place until we figure out our next move.”

  Be here within the hour. Eyes narrowing, Sawyer tilted his head and studied her. “How is the guy so close?”

  “Because he’s been working with me all along.” The sheet trailed over the floor as she advanced toward him. “He didn’t like me going into Lazarus alone, so he told me he would be close by, in case I needed him. I think it’s safe to say that we need him now.”

  Something was twisting inside of Sawyer’s gut. Something that made him feel… “Who is he to you?”

  “A friend. An old friend.”

  “Just that?”

  “Does it matter? We’re kind of in a shit situation at the moment, and we need him. He’s a phone call away.”

  “You’re asking me to trust a stranger.” A guy who could sell him out in an instant.

  “No, I’m asking you to trust me.”

  Hell.

  “There are things you don’t know about me. Things I’m not proud of,” Elizabeth said as her dark stare held his. “I’m the one who created Lazarus. I’m the one responsible for the formula. And it’s because of me that you’re even in the program now.”

  He didn’t move. “Why do you say that?”

  “Because Landon…he told me that Wright wanted you in the program because your involvement would be a way of controlling me. As long as you were in Lazarus, Wright knew that I couldn’t walk away. I’d always come back when he needed me.” She gave a hard, negative shake of her head. “No, not when he needed me. Fuck Wright. I would come back when you needed me.”

  And she had.

  “Jay is my friend. I trust him with my life.”

  Sawyer trusted her. “Make the call.” He nodded grimly. “Do it, now.”

  Her breath slipped out on a sigh. She hurried toward the phone and dialed quickly. He didn’t move closer to her. Sawyer knew his enhanced hearing would let him hear every word of the conversation even from his position across the room.

  The call was answered on the second ring.

  “Elizabeth?” A man’s voice. Rushed. Worried. “I just saw the report on TV. Shit, baby, you scared the hell—”

  Baby?

  “What report?” Elizabeth asked. “And how did you know it was me?”

  “Other than West, you’re the only person who has my private number.” Again, he spoke in a rush. “And the report I’m talking about—it’s the one that’s blasting on every TV channel in the area. The one that says a government research facility was bombed. There are over twenty confirmed fatalities, and two female doctors—Dr. Elizabeth Parker and Dr. Cecelia Gregory—are currently missing. The reporters are suggesting that you two may have been kidnapped by the bombers, that we have some domestic terrorism nightmare going on—”

  “I wasn�
��t kidnapped. I’m okay. Cecelia’s okay, too.”

  “I’m coming to get you.” Flat.

  “You don’t even know where I am!”

  “Oh, baby, this is me.”

  Again with the baby shit?

  “I had a lock on you the minute you called this number. Stay where you are, and I’ll be there to get you in thirty minutes.”

  Elizabeth glanced over her shoulder at Sawyer. “I’m not alone.”

  “Right, Dr. Cecelia Gregory. Don’t worry, I’ll get her, too.”

  “No, I mean, yes, Cecelia is here, also, but two men are with us. I need a safe place for them. And I need your computer skills.”

  Silence.

  Sawyer found himself gliding closer to Elizabeth.

  “You need me, huh?” The guy—Jay—gave a low laugh. “You know I’ll give you everything you need. I’ll get the transport. You just stay out of sight until I arrive.”

  “Thank you.”

  Jay had jumped to help her, no questions asked.

  “Is he the man you remember?” Jay’s voice was halting now.

  Sawyer saw Elizabeth’s shoulders tense.

  “Beth?” Jay prompted.

  Beth. A more intimate name, and the man’s voice had held a tone…they aren’t just friends. And the sudden emotion flooding through Sawyer’s veins was heavy and ugly and angry. Jealousy.

  “I’ll see you soon, Jay,” Elizabeth said, and she hung up the phone.

  Let it go.

  “He’ll be here in thirty minutes.” She gave Sawyer a weak smile. “Jay always keeps his word. I should, um, I should go get dressed.” She took a step toward the bathroom and stopped. “Only I guess I don’t have any new clothes.”

  “Flynn and Cecelia are in the room next door. I heard them return.” But he’d been preoccupied at the time, so he hadn’t cared.

  Her eyes widened as she looked toward the wall that separated their room from Flynn’s. “You heard…oh, no. Tell me that he didn’t hear us, too.”

  Flynn probably had.

  Her cheeks stained. “Wonderful.”

  “Why would you care if Flynn heard us having sex?”

  “Because I do, okay? I just—”

  “Have you had sex with Jay?” His voice was angry, and the darker emotions were surging in him, but he didn’t let those emotions loose. He held them back with a stranglehold even as his hands clenched into fists.