Never Let Go
Page 23
Her breath caught. And that foyer got very, very quiet. The silence lasted until she said, “I don’t see you that way.”
“Don’t you?” His lips twisted in a humorless smile. “Warned you before, I can tell when you lie. Your heartbeat kicks up, your breath catches, and you—”
She took his hand in hers and Elizabeth lifted it, putting it over her heart. “I don’t see you as a monster. I never saw you that way.”
“I want my life back,” Sawyer said, still rasping. “I want you back.”
You have me. She was right in front of him. Didn’t he see what she was offering?
“Okay.” Jay cleared his throat. “This is getting weirdly awkward, so how about you two go upstairs and get some privacy? Or some sleep? Or whatever the hell it is you need. There are plenty of guest rooms upstairs.” He lifted the laptop he held. “I’ll get to work on this. If I can retrieve anything on it, I will. Then, Elizabeth, you and I need to talk.”
Right. Go upstairs. She and Sawyer shouldn’t have this conversation with everyone watching. The problem was that she didn’t know what else to say to Sawyer.
But she had to say something.
She took his hand and she led him upstairs.
***
Cecelia watched Elizabeth take Sawyer up the stairs. He shadowed her movements, always staying so close to her. No one spoke, not until Elizabeth and Sawyer had disappeared. When the door shut upstairs, Cecelia released the breath she’d been holding.
“Will she be safe with him?”
Her head turned. Jay was staring at her—only Jay wasn’t his real name. She knew him. She’d read news stories about the guy before, and she’d recognized him on sight. Jennings Maverick. The reigning tech king. Flynn and Sawyer had asked how the guy got his obvious wealth, and she knew the answer. He’d built a multi-billion-dollar empire by the time he was twenty-five years old. He’d blown the lid off cyber security, creating new technology that the United States government had been eager to snatch up. But Jennings hadn’t wanted to work just with Uncle Sam. He’d gone private, and his wealth had sky-rocketed. He was known to be reclusive, brilliant, and definitely eccentric.
“Will she be safe?” Jennings—Jay—repeated. “Or do I need to take protective measures?”
Beside her, Flynn tensed.
“She’ll be safe,” Cecelia said quickly. And she thought her words were true. “She’s the one person he remembers, the one link that Sawyer has to his past. He won’t hurt her.”
Jay didn’t look convinced.
“He didn’t hurt her back at Lazarus.” And Cecelia knew the guy had been driven by demons. No, by a particular demon—Bryce. “He’s uncertain of her when other men get close. It’s a territorial thing. She matters most to him, and Sawyer wants to secure their connection.” Because, as he’d said, Sawyer viewed himself as a monster. He didn’t think the woman he wanted would stay with a monster.
“A territorial thing, huh? If you go by that, then I guess all men can be monsters.” Jay’s brown gaze was hooded as it swung toward Flynn. “And what’s your story? You got the telepathic link thing going on, too? All the super soldier upgrades?”
Flynn stared back at him.
“I’m trying to help!” The words exploded from Jay. “Don’t you see that? I’m the good guy here!”
“Get the files off that laptop. Give me intel I can use. Then I’ll see how good you are.” Flynn took Cecelia’s elbow. “Right now, we’re crashing.” He guided her up the stairs. Since a bone-deep weariness pulled at her, Cecelia didn’t argue with him.
“Uh, yeah, you’re welcome!” Jay called out. “I risked my life for you all, but, hey, don’t worry about thanking me. Just go right on up there, don’t stop to—”
Flynn stopped.
Unease slithered through Cecelia.
He looked over the railing at Jay and West. “I’ll pay back this debt. I’ll find a way, you have my word.”
And Jay’s eyes gleamed. “I’ll remember that.”
He wanted that promise. Cecelia’s stomach knotted. She had the bad feeling that they’d just been played. Not surprising because everything she’d read about the man had indicated that Jay was a master manipulator.
She’d just seen him in action.
They reached the top of the stairs. There were rooms to the left, rooms to the right. The place was huge. And it made her feel small. “I’ll…um…go this way.” She pointed to the right and turned away from Flynn.
But he followed her. The carpet was thick and lush, swallowing the sound of his footsteps, but she could feel him behind her. She reached for the nearest doorknob and twisted it. Cecelia shoved open the door and hurried inside.
Flynn followed right behind her. Again, she could feel him. Cecelia spun around. “You don’t need to—”
“I don’t know the men downstairs. I don’t trust them.” He crossed his hands over his chest. “And I won’t leave you unprotected.”
“We are safe here.”
But he just shook his head. “I won’t leave you unprotected.”
***
“Jay?”
He clutched the damaged laptop a bit tighter. “Double the patrols outside. If their story is true, and they’re really being hunted by this Subject Five…” Jay glanced at West. “I don’t want that bastard getting inside.”
West nodded. “Neither do I.”
Jay hesitated, but said, “And…I want you to remain inside, okay? Keep an eye on our new guests.”
“You think they’re a threat?”
“I think Elizabeth might not see Sawyer Cage as a monster…” His lips thinned. “But I sure as hell do.” What else were you supposed to call a man who’d rose from the dead? A man who was far too powerful.
And dangerous.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Elizabeth leaned against the closed bedroom door. Sawyer paced around the bed, looking like a caged lion who was about to roar.
Then he just stopped. His head sagged forward as he stared down at his clenched hands. “I’m not him.”
Elizabeth wanted to wrap her arms around him and hold tight. “Who?”
His head lifted. “I’m not the man you loved. I’m not the same.”
“Sawyer—”
“I was Subject One for months. I lived in a void. I existed to hunt and to kill, and I don’t know how to go back to being normal.” He gave a bitter laugh. “But then, I’m not normal, am I? Far the fuck from it. I’ve got voices in my head—literal voices that aren’t my own. I’ve got emotions that aren’t my own. As for my feelings, they’re wrong.”
Her heart ached.
“I want you too much.”
Elizabeth shook her head. Her lips parted. That’s not possible—
“I want you fucking constantly, Elizabeth. Every moment I’m with you, I want you. I crave you, like—like you’re a fire in my blood. I need you. And the things I want to do with you…” He exhaled. “The guy you knew before—he was the tender lover, right? The one who had dreams with you. Pretty promises about the future.”
Her throat had closed on her.
“But he’s gone.” Sawyer took a step toward her. “You lost him, and you’re just left with me. A man who wants to fucking own you. Who wants to keep you, possess you, always. Because I swear, you are my sanity. I feel whole when I’m with you, and the thought of losing you…” Another step. He was right in front of her now. His hand lifted and his knuckles brushed over her cheek. “That terrifies me. Nothing else scares me. But living in a world without you? I can’t.”
She caught his hand. Held tight. “Now you know how I feel.”
A furrow appeared between his eyes.
“I wasn’t going to let you go, I wasn’t going to—”
Pain flashed on his face. “I’m not the same man! I’m not him!”
“And I’m not the same woman I was before, either. But I am the woman who is standing before you, the woman who is saying…I want you just as much as you want me. I
crave you.” In her blood? Yes. He was in her very soul. “I don’t care what name you go by—One, Sawyer—it’s you I want. You. I would risk anything for you, don’t you see that?”
“Elizabeth—”
“I want you. And you’re not some monster. A monster doesn’t risk his life for someone else. A monster doesn’t fight so desperately to protect someone else.” She brought his hand to her lips and pressed a kiss to his knuckles. “You know who does that?”
His eyes blazed at her.
“A good man,” Elizabeth whispered. “You are a good man.”
“Does a good man want to beat the hell out of two guys he just met? Two guys who did nothing but help him.” His breath was ragged. “Because Jay and West—they’ve done nothing to me, but seeing them with you…when they put their hands on you…”
“Jealousy is normal.”
“I’m not normal, and emotions like that aren’t safe for me.”
“Then trust me.”
He blinked at her.
“Trust me. Because you’re not trusting me. You’re looking at me with them and thinking…hell, what are you thinking? That I’d want to be with them? That I’d choose them over you? Look, they’re both great guys, don’t get me wrong. But it’s you that I want. You. I’ll say it as many times as you need to hear it. Until it sinks in. I’m not running from you. I’m running with you. Because you’re the one I choose. It will always be you.”
His eyes widened. She thought she saw the faintest flicker of hope in his gaze. But in the next moment, his head lowered toward her. His mouth crashed onto hers. The kiss was rough, wild, and desperate.
And she didn’t care. Her hands rose and locked around his shoulders. Her nails sank into his shirt. He kissed her with such need. Like he was starved for her. Like he’d never get enough of her.
She’d never get enough of him.
His hand slid between them. He yanked up her shirt and shoved her bra out of the way. His warm, callused fingertips stroked her nipples. Teased. Tugged. Arousal flooded through her. Sawyer had said that he always wanted her. Didn’t he get it? She always wanted him, too. She always would. He wasn’t a monster.
He was her man.
Show him. She pulled her mouth from his. Her hands slipped from his broad shoulders and pushed against his chest.
“Elizabeth? Baby?”
“You’re a man. Mine.” She gave him a smile and then she let her hands drop to his waist. She unhooked his pants, slid down the zipper—
“Elizabeth.”
“I want you. I want to do this.” She’d always loved to drive him wild this way.
He shuddered.
And he let her hands go. He wasn’t wearing underwear, and that just made things easier. Elizabeth lowered to her knees before him. His cock filled her hands, long and stretching, with moisture already gleaming on the broad head. She put her mouth on him. Licked the tip lightly and his hips jerked against her.
“Baby…”
She opened her mouth. Took him inside. Sucked. A shallow suck, not too deep. Teasing.
He growled.
She took him in deeper. Licked him more. Pumped his cock with her hands even as her mouth slid over him. He was warm and hard. And she loved the feel of him. Her hips rocked even as she took him in her mouth once more. She’d suck him, then go back to lick the tip—
His hand sank into her hair. “I can’t…control…Can’t…”
She let him go. Licked her lips and stared up at him. “That’s what I want. I want you to let your control rip away. I want you to see that with it gone, you won’t hurt me. I can take what you have to give.” I always could. “I want everything you have.”
She put her mouth back on him. Licked. Sucked. And she—
He gave a guttural cry and lifted her up. He moved fast, and she found herself dropped onto the bed. She sat up, but he was yanking off her shoes, pulling down her jeans and her underwear. He’d stripped her so fast, and there was no stopping him. She didn’t want to stop him. She wanted to drive him wild.
He dragged her hips to the edge of the bed. Her legs splayed open. He sank into her. No tender touches. No seduction. Just raw, savage need. Exactly what she wanted. He thrust into her, withdrew, then plunged deep with hard, driving strokes. Her legs locked around his hips as she bucked up against him.
She didn’t want him to slow down. Didn’t want him to go softer. She wanted faster. Harder. She wanted oblivion.
Her nails didn’t bite lightly into his back this time. They raked down his back in a frenzy. She was as savage as he was. His hands were too tight on her hips, and she didn’t care. She wasn’t afraid of rough. She wasn’t afraid of him.
He dragged his cock over her clit as he thrust, and Elizabeth came, erupting with pleasure. Her sex spasmed around him as the climax went on and on, pounding through her body. He drove into her, not stopping and making the climax all the stronger. He grabbed her legs and lifted them over his shoulders, opening her fully to him. She couldn’t control his thrusts, couldn’t limit him, and she didn’t want to.
I want everything.
His eyes were stark, filled with lust, his face locked into tight lines. “Again.”
Her breath heaved from her lungs.
“Want to feel you come around me…again.”
He plunged deep into her. She was swollen and sensitive from her climax, and Elizabeth gasped out his name. She wanted him to find release. Wanted to see the pleasure on his face.
He kissed her. Rough. Demanding. His tongue swiped into her mouth even as his cock sank into her body. She was lost in sensation. Lost so completely in him.
He withdrew from her. Pulled out completely.
No!
Sawyer flipped her over on the bed. Her hands flew out and grabbed the sheets, bunching them in her fists. He caught her hips in his hands, lifted her up, and drove into her. She couldn’t limit his thrusts, couldn’t stop him, didn’t want to stop him. A second release was closing in on her. Elizabeth tossed back her head. “Sawyer!” She was moaning and gasping and being too loud. She clamped her lips together.
He bit her. Right on the curve of her shoulder. The bite made her sex clench around him as she came once more.
And he was with her. She felt the hot tide of his release inside of her, and he held her even tighter. His body surrounded her. So strong and powerful. He held her, held her so close.
Monster, man—hers. Always.
***
“Don’t!” Elizabeth’s voice was sharp. Desperate. Terrified. “Don’t die! Don’t! Don’t leave me!”
Sawyer’s eyes opened. He was in bed with Elizabeth. They’d both crashed hard, and, even in sleep, he’d held her close.
Now, her body was tense against him, and when he turned his head, he saw that her face was twisted in fear, even as her eyes remained closed. Keeping his voice gentle, he soothed, “Baby, it’s okay. Just a bad dream.”
“Sawyer!”
He stiffened. She was calling his name, but he knew she was locked in a dream. “Elizabeth?”
“Sawyer! No! Stay with me! Don’t die! Don’t leave!”
The pain in her voice gutted him. Sawyer shook her. “Elizabeth, wake up. It’s a bad dream.”
She gave a gasp and shuddered. Her eyes finally opened as her head turned toward him. “Sawyer?”
“Right here, baby. I’m right here.” And this scene—it was so familiar to him. Elizabeth has bad dreams. And he didn’t like it when she had to wake from those dreams alone. He worried about her waking up alone and being scared.
She’s not alone now.
“I had a bad dream.” The words were oddly familiar to him.
“I know.” His voice was still gentle. He pulled her closer, held her cradled against him.
Her desperate breathing evened out, but her body remained tense. “Sawyer?”
“Yeah?”
“It…wasn’t a dream.”
He swallowed and kept his hold on her. “I know.”
His hand was on her back. He stroked her spine. I am with you.
“He had a guard drag me out of the lab. I saw Landon give you too much of the formula. Two doses. You didn’t wake up, and Landon thought something was wrong. He was blaming me, and…” Her words trailed away. He heard the painful little click of her swallow. “Then you woke up.”
There was so much pain in her words.
“Part of me was so happy.” Shame slid into her voice. “You were awake. You were back…”
“I don’t remember that.” He didn’t remember anything before he’d opened his eyes to find himself in a cell at the Lazarus facility. And when he’d woken, Landon had immediately shown him a video, proof that Sawyer had “volunteered” to be in the government program.
“You woke up,” she said again and gave a little shudder.
He realized her hand was on her chest, tracing the red line of her scar.
A cold wind seemed to fill the room. “Elizabeth?”
“Promise me, tell me that you’ll always come back.”
Did she think he was going to walk away? Cut and run, vanish with some new identity because of what Jay had said? No. Not without her. Not ever without her.
“Promise me,” she said again, and it was almost as if she were begging him.
He would have given her any promise she wanted. Didn’t she see that? He would give her anything. Everything. “I promise.” Sawyer held her, keeping her close against him, cradling her, until Elizabeth fell asleep once more. When the tension finally eased from her body, he pressed a kiss to her temple.
He heard the faint sound of footsteps on the stairs. At first, he figured someone was just heading to one of the other guest rooms, but those soft steps headed toward his room. His head turned as Sawyer stared at the door. His eyes narrowed on that door. He could hear the faintest of rustles…