Rebel (The Renegades)

by Rebecca Yarros

  She didn’t respond, instead staring up at me with more than a touch of shock, or maybe wonder?

  “Penelope?”

  Silence was definitely not how I pictured this moment going. Not that I’d ever put much thought into it, but if I had, this was not on my list of desired outcomes. Damn, did I scare her off? Was she that skittish over the L word?

  Slowly, she lifted her hands to my face and smiled so brightly she could have lit the world with her happiness. As if she’d flicked my “on” switch, I took my first deep breath since letting my feelings slip. That pit in my stomach disappeared, replaced by an emotion I was scared to call hope.

  “I love you, Cruz.” Her voice was soft but strong—just like she was.

  “You don’t have to say it just because—”

  She shifted her hand so her thumb crossed both my lips.

  “I’m not. I’m saying it because it’s true. I tried to fight it; our relationship is already so complicated. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned over this last year, it’s that we have to say the things that demand to be said. Regret is its own heartbreak, and I refuse to regret a single thing about you—about us. So I’m saying it loudly. I am in love with you. Your honor, your determination, how you treat your family, but mostly I love you for the way you make me feel—cherished, like I’m something precious, protected, but still free. I love you because you’re stubborn, and you push back when I’m wrong, but you’re strong enough to step aside when I’m right. And yes, I’m glad you said it first, because I’m not sure I would have had the courage to.”

  I gently took her wrists in my hands, pausing to place a kiss on the inside of her palm before I freed my mouth from her hand. “So you love me.”

  She raised an eyebrow, and I nearly laughed. “Isn’t that what I just said?”

  My arms went around her waist, and I tugged her to me. “Yeah, but I’m not sure I’ll ever get tired of hearing you say it.” I’d never given enough of myself to a woman to love her, and I sure as hell hadn’t had one love me.

  She leaned up on her tiptoes and pressed a kiss to the outside of my mouth. “I love you,” she said. Then placed another along my jaw. “I love you.”

  “Thank God, because I love you so much I’m not sure how to breathe around how monumental it feels.”

  I kissed her, sealing my words with my mouth. Before I could press her against the rocks, she backed me against the boulder. Her tongue slid into my mouth, all peppermint candy, tangling with mine until I groaned, my hands slipping from her waist to her ass. She kissed the same way she lived—with nothing held back. Was it any wonder that I was madly in love with her?

  Her hands ran through my hair, her nails lightly scratching at my scalp, and the little whimpers she made in the back of her throat had me harder than the rock I leaned on. I’d never been so continuously turned on by a woman in my life. It didn’t matter how many times I took her—how many ways. The sex got hotter every time we touched.

  She stepped back, her breasts rising and falling rapidly. God, she was so beautiful every moment, but when she started to spin out of control? So fucking exquisite.

  As if she’d come to some decision to a question I wasn’t privy to, her eyes took on a gleam I couldn’t discern before she was back, her mouth on my neck. I groaned, leaning my head against the rock.

  She tugged at my shirt and I obliged, ripping it over my head.

  “I will never get tired of looking at you,” she said as her eyes raked over my body. “Or touching you,” she whispered as her fingers trailed down the lines of my pecs to the outside of my abs. “Do you trust me?”

  “With my life,” I responded instantly.

  She made me feel like every model and superhero rolled into one—someone who just might be worthy of loving her. Her kiss drove me mad, until I lost all care for where we were. My hands were in her hair, then on the straps of her dress, then under her hem, stroking up her sweet thighs. She was a fire I’d never be able to quench.

  “Enough to give me control?”

  It took conscious effort, but I paused, kissing her gently. “Do with me what you will.”

  Then she slipped from my hands, rained kisses down my chest and stomach, until she dropped to her knees in front of me.

  “Penelope?” I asked.

  “I’ve wanted to do this for forever.” The heat in her eyes was nearly my undoing.

  Then she slid my board shorts down just low enough that my dick sprang free. My breath abandoned me when her hand closed around me and began to stroke up and down the length.

  That. Felt. Amazing.

  Then her tongue swirled around the tip, and my hips rocked forward once before I got control of myself. That tongue was pure fucking magic.

  When the head disappeared into her gorgeous mouth, I nearly came at the image. She sucked me in deep, her mouth impossibly hot and wet, and I had to remember to breathe.

  “Penelope,” I moaned, my hands on her head.

  She gripped my shaft with one hand and perfect pressure, then moved up and down with her mouth, swirling her tongue as she went. There were too many sensations to pinpoint one, so I quit trying. Quit thinking.

  “Tell me how,” she said.

  “God, baby. If you do it any better, I’ll be dead.”

  “Good,” she said with a smile, and then took me inside, caressing me with the flat of her tongue while I slid toward the back of her throat.

  So. Fucking. Perfect.

  White-hot shots of pleasure ran through me, and my hips subtly thrust into her mouth. She moved with me, and when she moaned, the vibrations sent me nearly sky high.

  I felt that tingle at the base of my spine, the tension that marked my approaching orgasm, and cursed. In control or not, I was not coming in her mouth right after I’d told her I loved her—after she’d told me she loved me. I wanted to be inside her, deep and hard. Wanted to hear that now-occupied mouth screaming my name.

  I jerked my hips back, and she released me with a pop.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked, her eyes impossibly blue and wide.

  “Not a damn thing,” I said, tucking my dick back into my shorts with a hiss. I threw my shirt over my shoulder, and then lifted her up under her arms.

  I kissed her, nearly mindless, but not so far gone that I would miss out on this. Lifting her by her ass, I smiled as she wrapped her legs around my waist. Her sundress rode up until it was her bare skin in my hands.

  All I had to do was slide her panties to the side and I could be inside her.

  I walked us into the bungalow and sat back on the bed so she straddled me.

  “I could have finished you,” she said against my mouth.

  “Oh, I’m well aware. You were just about there, Pen. But I’d rather finish you.” I ran my thumb along her lower lip. “God, this mouth.”

  I tugged her soft lower lip with my teeth, and she whimpered. Giving in to her little demand, I kissed her thoroughly, until she was grinding down on me, her hips moving in a circular pattern that made me lose just about every thought in my brain.

  Gripping the hem of her dress, I pulled it up and over her head, leaving her in just bra and panties. A snap later, the bra was gone, setting those glorious breasts free. Unable to help myself, I slipped one into my mouth, swirling my tongue around the pebbled tip until she moaned my name. Then I suckled, loving the sharp bite of her nails in my back.

  Driving Penelope out of her mind was quickly becoming my favorite pastime.

  She knocked me to my back and then stripped off my shorts, taking control again. I pushed up and pulled her panties over the flare of her hips, then pressed a hot kiss to her belly as I let them drop to the floor.

  “I can’t wait,” she said, her breathing ragged as she straddled me. “Please, Cruz.”

  One hand on her hip to steady her, I slipped my thumb along the seam of her core. She was drenched and ready, thank God.

  “Please?” she asked again, angling her hips so her entrance w
as right at the tip of my straining erection.

  Fuck, she was so wet, so hot as I slid through her folds.

  Before I lost my mind, I reached over, pulling a condom from my bag and tearing it open with my teeth. A second later I was covered.

  “You never have to beg me,” I told her.

  She responded by lowering herself inch by inch until I was buried in her to the hilt. She squeezed me tighter than a fist and hotter than the sun. Nothing compared to this. Nothing.

  “I love you,” she told me, her eyes open and bright.

  Except that, I thought as she moved, her eyes locked with mine as she started to ride me.

  “I love you,” I swore, pulling her in for a kiss, open and deep, nothing slow or tame left in me.

  After that scene on the beach, I wasn’t sure how long I could last. Damn, the woman was perfect and so sexy. Her motions came faster with a deeper grind to her hips, and the tone of her moan told me she was climbing but not quite there.

  Gripping her hair lightly, I tilted her head and set my mouth to the spot on her neck that drove her crazy. Then I concentrated on anything but the sweet glide of her body on mine, or that burning in the base of my balls that told me I was close.

  Slipping my empty hand between us, I strummed her clit and felt the immediate tightening of her thighs around my hips.

  “That’s it, baby.”

  Then I swirled and pressed, using the combination I knew would send her flying. She tightened all around me, throwing her head back so that her hair brushed my knees.

  “Cruz!” she screamed as her sex rippled around me, squeezed me so tight I had no choice but to join her as my orgasm overpowered. I emptied into her, as she collapsed against my chest.

  “I love you,” I whispered into her hair, just because I could.

  She looked at me, her eyes hazy with release. “I love you, too. I just didn’t know how much until you told me.”

  Cupping her face in my hands, I kissed her softly, sweetly, imagining that’s how I’d kiss her good night every night for the rest of my life.

  Because in that moment, I knew without a doubt that there was no one who could possibly compare to Penna Carstairs. She was it for me.

  I just had to pray that I was strong enough to hold on to her, because I wasn’t sure I’d survive losing her.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Rio de Janeiro

  Penna

  “Again,” Nick ordered.

  “You know I love you, right?” I called out, sweat pouring down my back inside my gear. “But right now, I fucking hate your sadistic ass.”

  “My sadistic ass is going to keep you alive,” he fired back.

  I’d done at least twenty-five rounds on the minibike, landing every time, but he wanted another one. He was concerned about the height at which I started the flip, saying I wasn’t going soon enough, and it would cause me to under-rotate when I moved to the big bike.

  “He’s right,” Pax answered.

  “Not in the mood, Wilder!” I shouted, more than aware that I was being obstinate.

  “Penna.” Landon waved me over, and I went, ripping off my helmet on the way and throwing the middle finger at Nick. At this rate I was going to be too tired to move to the big bike, and we only had one more day in Rio before heading up north. The expo was less than a month away.

  “What’s up?” I asked, taking the bottle of water that Little John offered.

  “Watch,” he said, offering me his phone.

  I glanced at Cruz while he cued up the footage. He’d been pacing nearly all morning, alternating between watching me and blatantly looking away.

  The footage started, and I saw myself speeding toward the ramp. Good speed. Good angle. Good execution.

  “Shit,” I muttered, watching the flip start too late.

  “Yeah.”

  “I can’t pull the double with the full-size if I don’t start back here,” I said, rewinding to the point in the arc I’d need to begin the flip. “I won’t have the time to pull her back around like I do the mini.”

  “Exactly.”

  I groaned in frustration but put on my helmet and headed back to the mini.

  “How the hell did you get her to listen?” Nick asked. “Because it’s not like she’s paying attention to anything I have to say.”

  “She’ll only listen to herself when she gets like this,” Landon answered.

  “Fuck you both!” I sang with a smile.

  Cruz folded his arms and stood next to Landon, watching the same video and nodding.

  He loved me. Really, truly loved me, and not like my parents—I wasn’t a pretty trophy for him. No, he was content to love me in silence, to take every risk for me—his career and reputation both on the line—while I handed him nothing but my body and heart in return.

  But a month from now, that would all change.

  We’d be off the cruise, and I’d graduate. Then we could get back to L.A. and start living our actual lives out in the open. East Coast, West Coast…we’d figure it out, and I would love him so well that he’d never once question what I’d put him through keeping this secret.

  “You see it, too, don’t you?” I asked Cruz.

  “Yeah,” he called out. “You just have to find that sweet spot where you don’t lose the height but can still pull the turn.”

  “Right,” I said, loving that he understood the physics of it.

  “Wait, so you’ll listen to him?” Nick yelled as I took the bike back to the start of the track.

  “He’s not an asshole,” I said, blowing him a kiss.

  “What’s she doing here?” Wilder asked as Miss Gibson walked onto the course.

  “Nice to see you, Mr. Wilder,” she said with a flat smile.

  “She’s here to replace me for the afternoon. I have a mandatory department meeting, so unless you guys want to call off your practice for the next few hours, she’s me,” Cruz explained.

  “Great.” Wilder pointed Miss Gibson to where Little John sat. “You’ll need to sign some stuff with Little John.”

  “I’ll take her over,” Cruz said. He sent me one long look, and with a curt nod, I pretended his leaving didn’t affect me, that we were just teacher/student, that I didn’t love him.

  Blatantly ignoring Miss Gibson’s hand on his arm, I turned around. “I’m giving it another go,” I told Nick.

  “If we get it right this time, do you think he’ll let us move to the big bikes?” Zoe asked as we walked back to the starting line.

  I shrugged. “Not sure. But I know that I trust his judgment more than I do my hot head. You should do the same.”

  “I’m ready.”

  “You’re barely landing it. You skidded out last time.”

  “So? I’m never going to know without going for it on the big bike, right?”

  “True. Let’s see if we land these, and then we’ll have them move the pit in. Flipping a full-size is a whole different ball game, and you need to be ready.”

  “Okay,” she said with a sigh.

  I understood her frustration. When you were this close to something, to proving yourself, it was hard to take a step back and realize you had to go slower, that you weren’t as ready as you thought you were.

  That’s why it was important to have Pax, Landon, and Nick on my side. Just like they had all day, they pulled me back before my ego wrote a check my ass couldn’t cash.

  I lined up to the ramp and then gunned it, speeding down the paved track. Gear by gear, I amped up to full speed until I was almost flying when I hit the ramp.

  I flew up the arc, nearly vertical before I went airborne. I started the flip when I felt my momentum shift, and then brought the bike around once. Twice. The world spun around me, and I pulled the bike back under me, nearly over-rotating before I brought it down on the other side of the ramp, the landing smooth but not perfect.

  “Yes!” Nick yelled out with a fist pump.

  I threw both arms into the air as I rode off the ramp,
shouting victoriously.

  The guys all hugged me as Zoe took her turn, racing toward the ramp.

  “But it wasn’t…” Cruz shook his head.

  “Perfect? Yeah, it’s because I need to add the weight of the real bike now. I’ve got the timing down. Shit,” I muttered as Zoe came down front-wheel heavy.

  She landed it, but it wasn’t pretty.

  “She probably needs another month or so on the mini, and she’s not going to want to hear it,” I told Cruz as Zoe came off the ramp cursing.

  “A stubborn Renegade? Huh. That’s a new concept.”

  “I’ll do better with my real bike,” she argued. “I know the weight. I know the feel, the way she reacts. This is fucking useless,” she tossed at Pax.

  “This is the way it’s done, Zo. Penna fought for you to get the chance, and we’re happy to give it to you, but you have to follow the program.”

  Muttering something under her breath, she started off toward the line of bikes.

  “Guess she’s ready for a break,” I said to Cruz.

  “I’m not, but I have to head back. You’re in good hands with Lindsay,” he said, nodding to where Miss Gibson went over paperwork with Little John. No doubt Pax would have her sign the full gamut of NDAs and liability waivers. The stuff with Gabe really got to him.

  “Lindsay, huh?” I stared at my hands, pulling off my gloves.

  Cruz’s laugh caught me completely off guard. “Don’t even. I’ll see you later.”

  “Later,” I said to his retreating back. I love you. “Break for lunch?” I asked the guys.

  They all agreed, and we headed toward the food truck. One thing Little John did even better than prepping for stunts was track down the best food in the area.

  I got my lunch first and borrowed Landon’s phone, heading back to the ramp to watch the footage again. He was right. Sometimes the only way I’d listen was when I actually watched my own fuckups.

  Maybe that’s what I needed to show Zoe, too.

  Sinking into the camping chair, I dug into my lunch. The two-a-day workouts had turned me into an eating machine. Hitting play on the video, I watched my last jump, trying to reconcile my memories and feelings with what the tape showed.