Club Zombie 1-4

by Z. Allora

  “What?”

  “I’ll be there too, Kai. I’ll meet my someone before it’s time, but I’ll still be waiting.” Ulrich blinked and shook his head. “Well, it sucks to be me.”

  What did that mean? “You okay?”

  Ulrich pulled at his hair and glared into the computer’s camera. “I shouldn’t have to wait. That’s not fair. You don’t!”

  “What’s not fair?” Kai wasn’t sure if he was following him. Why didn’t he have to wait?

  “Nothing.” Ulrich pouted in his sulky way that made Kai wish to jolly him out of his funk.

  “You can still see you’ll be here?” Kai asked, hoping with everything in him Ulrich joined him soon.

  Ulrich grinned. “Yeah.”

  Kai stopped himself from asking when, because the lack of clarity always frustrated Ulrich. The time frame of his visions was not well defined. “That’s good, right?”

  “Yes.” Ulrich tilted his head and studied the screen. “Um, hey. Are you gay yet?”

  “What?” Kai didn’t mean to raise his voice. “You don’t just become gay.”

  “No, it’s more about understanding yourself and accepting who you are.” The kid was smart.

  True. Kai was working on the accepting part. “Why do you keep asking? Do you think I’ll wake up gay one day?”

  Ulrich crossed his arms in front of himself. “No, I’m hoping you’ll wake up.”

  Sighing, Kai exhaled in a loud gust. “But, Ulrich, why do you keep asking me?”

  His cheeks tinted to a light pink, and he shrugged yet again. “I don’t know. I guess, ’cause I am.”

  There it was. Kai had waited for this admission a long time, had prepared for it. “Thank you for trusting me enough to share that with me. I love you. Are you okay?”

  “Of course, I trust you, dickwad.” The video chat gave a crisp clear picture of Uli’s dramatic eye roll.

  “Fancy American swear word. So, um, are you okay with being gay?”

  “Yeah, yeah.” Ulrich snorted. “That’s the dumbest question I ever heard.”

  Ecstatic his cousin remained untouched by his father’s ugly worldview, Kai said, “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

  “Are you?” Ulrich glanced away from the computer screen.

  “Yes, of course. I’m fine with it.” At his words, Kai actually saw his cousin exhale a whoosh of air. “But please, Ulrich, be careful. Your father can’t find out.”

  Ulrich frowned at the screen.

  “Safety first. Always.” Kai trusted Ulrich understood how important heeding his warning would be. His uncle spewed hate on every topic, but homophobia was the biggest on that long list.

  Kai sat at their kitchen table with his hands over his head.

  Jasper’s happiness at seeing Kai dissipated. “What’s wrong?”

  “I’m fine, Jaz.” Kai frowned.

  This was the first time Kai called him Jaz. The zip of awesome was pilfered by the absence of Kai’s smile.

  “Ulrich came out to me.” Kai ran his fingers through his hair.

  Jasper sat on the chair and leaned forward. “How do you feel about that?”

  Kai twisted his mouth to the side in a crooked, pursed lip thing he seemed to do whenever he was perplexed. “I guess I’m happy he trusted me….”

  That was a decent response, though not complete. “But?”

  “I’m kind of worried Uncle Franz will find out.”

  “I take it he wouldn’t be supportive.”

  A bitter laugh erupted from Kai. “You might say that.”

  The implications worried Jasper. “There are a couple of zombies in that area, watching out for Ulrich. I’ll have Lafayette and Beau notify them to stay alert.”

  “There’s someone watching him?” Kai’s tone was disbelief mixed with amazement.

  “It’s less stalkerish than it sounds. It’s just as a precaution.”

  Kai nodded, but his stare into space intensified.

  Jasper asked, “Do you think your Uncle Franz’s thoughts on homosexuality affected your own?”

  Folding his arms over his chest, Kai grimaced. “I was never against being gay or anything. But Uncle Franz would say these terrible things…. The guy’s an asshole.”

  Poor Kai had never been given a chance to figure out who he was and how he felt about things like orientation. “Hearing something over and over can affect how we think. Do you think you or Ulrich have internalized his hateful words?”

  “No! Yeah, I mean I didn’t want to but I guess I did in some ways.” Kai frowned and ran his fingers through his hair again.

  “It’s difficult when people in our lives have views that harm us.” Jasper kept his voice even, but a slash of pain cut him as the memory of his family, then the priests, exiling him played out in his mind.

  Kai dropped his hands onto his thighs and rubbed his palms up and down his jeans. “He had been wrong about so many things. When he’d scream how I was a terrible person… and how gay I was…. I didn’t want him to be right about anything.”

  “You’re not a terrible person,” Jasper reassured him. “You’re one of the best people I’ve ever met.”

  “Thanks. Since I’ve gotten here I have been questioning my sexuality. And now I know I’m on the gay side of the spectrum.” The words came out of Kai’s mouth toneless but filled with his truth.

  Jasper racked his brain for something more to say, but he might be too close to give objective counseling on this subject. He selfishly wanted Kai to accept his orientation.

  Kai sat there a long time, studying Jasper. “You’re gay, right?

  “Yes.”

  “But you’ve never had a boyfriend?”

  “Nope.” Jasper wanted to ask if Kai would like to apply for the position.

  “You’re gay and you’ve never….” Kai shoved his hands in his pockets and looked around the kitchen.

  “I’m not ashamed of being gay. I just… if I’m ever blessed enough to find my mate, I want to share things with only—” You. No. “—him.”

  Kai asked, “But what if your mate did stuff with other guys?”

  Off track, but Jasper went with Kai’s train of thought as he shoved away the bit of jealousy that tried to bubble to the surface. “I can control my actions and no one else’s. I happen not to want to share myself with someone who’s not mine. If my mate decided to do that, I don’t have control over it.”

  “Oh…. Yeah, I guess that makes sense.” Kai leaned forward. “Then you have no experience… at all?”

  Why did it matter? Jasper tried to come up with reasons for Kai’s interest, but each carried a bias. Not trusting his voice, he shook his head.

  “Thanks for talking.” Kai jumped out of his chair.

  Jasper wanted to stay on this subject, but the conversation was over, so he asked, “You want to go for a ride later?”

  “Sounds great!” Kai froze and his cheeks took on a light pink tint. “Yeah, I’ll be back in an hour or so.”

  “Good.” That would be enough time to prepare.

  Kai took the path that led to the main building of Club Zombie. Was Lafayette in there? He rapped on Lafayette’s office door.

  “Enter.” Lafayette’s deep voice boomed through the wood. “Kai, good to see you. How are you getting on?”

  “Fine.”

  Lafayette finished sorting paper into piles. “Good. Good. Have a seat. What can I do for you?”

  Kai sat and asked from across Lafayette’s desk, “Lafayette, are there any jobs at the club I can do?”

  “You haven’t been here that long. You’re still adjusting. There’s no need to work. If you want something, we’ll get it for you.” Lafayette shook his head.

  “I’ve been living here for a few weeks.” Time flew by in a haze of fun with his new friends, self-discovery, and Jasper. But he wasn’t a slacker.

  Lafayette folded his hands on his desk and studied Kai. “Don’t you wanna go to school? Jasper said you were studying and would be ready
to take your SATs soon.”

  Kai should be; he’d worked hard. “I will. I need to figure out what I want to study. But I’ll still have time to work.”

  With a nod, Lafayette picked up a pen and twirled it between his fingers. “They can always use help in the club… before official business hours. It’s not glamorous work, just bussing tables and taking orders.”

  Kai wrung his hands, but he wasn’t scared. “Um, I can work when the club’s open too.”

  Lafayette arched an eyebrow.

  Shrugging, Kai said, “The music’s good.”

  Lafayette’s laughter echoed off the walls. “Yes, the music. Of course, it is. No shifts when the club’s open. Not yet. But you’ll have a few shifts a week.”

  Kai jumped out of the chair and shook Lafayette’s hand. “Thanks!”

  Lafayette held a hand up and asked, “You still okay sharing a cottage with Jasper?”

  Yes! Love seeing him all the time. Kai answered with a simple, “No issues.” Wait. Why was he asking? “Is Jaz tired of me?”

  “No, nothing like that. I wanted to make sure you’re comfortable. The renovations are taking longer than expected.”

  Whew. “Oh, um, yeah. Jaz is great.”

  “Good to hear it. We’re keep you posting on a moving date.”

  Moving… away from Jasper. No. “Um, no, that’s no problem. If there was someone else who needs it, even…. I’m sure Jasper and I can make our living arrangement work for as long as necessary.”

  A smirk curled Lafayette’s lips as he examined Kai. “Yeah, I thought so.”

  Kai shifted from foot to foot, pretending his face wasn’t heating up.

  “I’ll coordinate your shifts with Corey and Jackson. If you’ve any problems or decide it’s not what you want, just let them know or tell me.” Lafayette smiled.

  “Great!” Kai had a job.

  “Anything else I help you with?”

  “Um, no. Thank you again.” Kai slipped out the door.

  The sun shone and it was another perfect day in South Carolina. He had a job, friends, and… it was good to have Jasper. Jaz was a good friend but more. Kai didn’t push his tangled sentiments away as a ridiculous happiness settled over his heart. He didn’t want to believe the exhilaration was caused by the prospect of spending the afternoon with Jasper, but he knew it was.

  13

  Do Friends Do This?

  Kai stepped into the cottage to find Jasper zipping a pack closed. “I called the stables and the horses are ready to be saddled.”

  “Great.” Ah, a whole afternoon with Jaz. “Are you nervous about the show tonight?”

  Jasper shrugged. “A little. I expected to be behind the scenes, not running around in gold shorts.”

  “Yeah, but you do it so well.” Shit! “Um… okay, let me wash. Be right back,” Kai said as a shiver of anticipation raced through him. He stared into the bathroom mirror. Calm, where are you?

  He loved time alone with Jasper. It might be as close to heaven as he’d ever get. He did a lot of imagining after they’d spent time together, replaying the moments when they almost kissed and analyzing why their lips never met. Maybe if it ever happened, he’d understand the compulsion to touch his lips to Jasper’s and be able to move on… or not.

  He splashed cold water on his face and hurried to freshen up, then followed Jasper out into the sunny afternoon. A gentle breeze, along with shade from the trees, made today perfect for riding.

  They took the shortest path possible to the stables.

  Jasper talked to his horse as Kai nuzzled Firebird’s nose. They’d become friends over the past few lessons. Firebird was a placid and steady horse that didn’t allow novice riders to make dumb mistakes, like attempting to traverse an embankment too steep. She had simply refused to move, and when he’d tried to insist, she’d turned to tug on the reins he held. Jasper had confirmed the location wasn’t the best place to go down to the creek.

  Kai peered over at Jasper, who stroked and whispered sweet nothings to his animal. He’d never wished to be a horse until now. Corey would make a kinky remark about pony boys that Kai would pretend not to understand. But once one researched high-stepping subs who liked to wear tails and be ridden, it was hard to unlearn the information.

  Jasper’s hands were tender with the horse. Would they be gentle with—

  His horse whinnied.

  Jasper chuckled. “I guess Firebird has spoken.”

  Kai mounted, and he kept his eyes averted from the spectacular vision of Jasper swinging into the saddle.

  As they rode, sunshine on Jaz’s face gave way to shadows of shade. Jasper pushed his sunglasses onto his head. Damn, Kai’s pants became too tight.

  Kai tried to ignore how his heart raced as if he expected something to happen.

  Over the past couple of lessons, Jasper had taken him riding through the different parts of the huge estate. Jasper was a skilled enough rider to teach SAT vocabulary on top of a horse.

  “I’ll be working in the club,” Kai blurted out.

  “Congratulations! Way to bury the important stuff.” Jasper laughed.

  “Eh, it’s only a few shifts a week. But I want to help out.”

  Jasper nodded and turned toward a chirping bird.

  Kai surveyed the meadow that was overrun with late-summer wildflowers, and looked for markers but found none. “If I didn’t know I was thousands of kilometers from Germany, I would swear I was back there. Where are we?”

  Jasper grinned. “We’re on the south edge of the property. None of the other guys ever want to ride this far out. I usually come out here alone. Thank you for joining me.”

  He liked having Jaz share something special with him. “Thanks for bringing me.”

  Jaz pulled his horse to a stop. “You ready for lunch?”

  Kai looked around. They’d stopped at a babbling creek. Willow tree branches skimmed the water as if to taste its freshness.

  “Oh, yeah. Sure. You packed us a lunch? That was brilliant planning on your part.” Kai felt his affection for Jasper expand. Jasper seemed to know the best ways to take care of him.

  Jasper jumped from his horse and grabbed a knapsack.

  Kai dismounted a tad slower. He was a much better rider than when he started, but he still didn’t want to spook Firebird by being clumsy. After petting both of the horses, he walked them to the creek so they’d drink the cool water. He let them graze and turned back to Jasper.

  “Wow.”

  Jaz had a blanket laid out, and plates, glasses, and silverware were ready to be used. There were containers of chicken, salads, and chocolate cake.

  Jasper grinned at him. “What? Have you never had a picnic before?”

  Swallowing, Kai shook his head. “Not like this. You brought real china and glasses.” He stumbled over a root or two on the way over to the feast.

  “It’s just unbreakable plates, and these won’t blow away.” Shrugging, Jasper turned away to put the magic pack on the ground as if none of this preparation mattered.

  Kai guessed that made sense, but the setup was fancy and formal. He didn’t understand why, but that jittery nervousness he got came on strong by seeing all the effort Jaz put into their afternoon.

  Jasper pointed to the iron rings on the trees in the shade. “Can you tie them to the rings so they don’t step on their reins?”

  Kai hurried back over to the horses, and petted his horse’s nose. “Aw, good girl.”

  The horse not receiving a nose nuzzle whinnied in protest. Kai rectified the situation and evened out the cuddles. The act of kindness gave him too much pondering time. Why did the sight of the feast make him nervous and restless? It was just a picnic, right?

  Jasper lounged on the blanket, leaning back on his elbows. Glancing over at Kai, he asked with a grin, “Did Firebird and Gallop guilt you into giving them all your sugar cubes yet?”

  Now Kai felt dumb hiding with the horses. “Almost,” he said as he stomped over to the feast, trying not to
feel foolish because Jaz was calm and he was plucked nerve.

  Setting a piece of cold chicken breast on Kai’s plate and one on his own, Jasper gave him a silly smile. “What’s got you so uptight?”

  “Nothing. I don’t know.” He put the potato salad on Jasper’s plate, but not the coleslaw—because Jasper disliked carrots for no apparent reason—and added both to his own plate. Picking up the small container of pickles, he put those all in Jasper’s dish because he loved them.

  Jasper poured sparkling water and said, “Talk to me. You’re stressed. Is it Ulrich’s coming out?”

  “No, I don’t believe so. It’s nothing.” Kai wasn’t sure how to put it into words. I’m hot for you seemed immature and didn’t cover everything he felt.

  A wood thrush’s flutelike call echoed through the trees, cutting into the quiet between him and Jasper.

  Kai changed the subject. “Okay, I guess I’m a little worried about him coming out, but even before this, Ulrich has been quieter.”

  “How so?” Jasper leaned toward him.

  “He just… I don’t know. The last couple of times, he hasn’t said much to me, not really.”

  Jasper pointed to the chicken on Kai’s plate. “Try some.” Once Kai picked up the piece and took a bite, Jasper continued to talk. “Your cousin misses you as much as you miss him.” He popped a pickle chip into his mouth and chewed.

  Kai swallowed and wiped the juice off his mouth. “This is good.”

  “He’s also what, sixteen, you said?”

  “Yeah, almost seventeen. But at times he seems so much older.”

  Jasper shrugged. “Most of the pretransitional zombies have a difficult time.”

  “He’ll be a zombie?”

  “Nothing is certain but probably. Usually the males in the same generation are or they’re skipped completely. But the phenomenon doesn’t discriminate.”

  “So, because I am, he is.” Confirmation he didn’t want.

  Jaz shrugged. “If that’s the case, at least he’ll be joining us here.”

  “True.” Kai was grateful for that.