Finding Karma

by Stacy M Wray

  I take deep, slow breaths, pretending everyone isn’t staring at me after my little outburst.

  * * *

  Braden makes good on his promise. The next day in the middle of the lunch period, he walks in with Matt at his side. My insides do all kinds of acrobats, not knowing what’s about to happen. Braden holds his hand up in the air and says, “Excuse me, please. Can I have everyone’s attention?” I’m stunned at how quickly this huge room quiets to see what’s going on. His face exhibits the definition of smug. “Matt here has something he would like to share with you.” He turns to Matt and raises his eyebrows, letting him know the floor is all his.

  Looking highly uncomfortable, Matt clears his throat and says, “Um, there’s been a rumor going around that Karma Mickelson and I had sex at Randy Turner’s party last Saturday…and, well… I just want to confirm that the rumor isn’t true.”

  Some people gasp and others talk amongst themselves, clearly not believing this is happening. I can hardly believe it myself, and Braden has just proved, without a doubt, he’s a man of his word. I notice Braden gives Matt a shove and he continues, “And I also want to – ”

  “Look at her!” Braden commands.

  Matt’s eyes reluctantly meet mine, and I’m relishing his level of distress. “I want to tell you that I’m sorry, Karma.” He then looks at Braden, asking him with a look if he’s satisfied.

  Braden pats him on the back and says, “Well done. My work here is finished.” He walks over to my table while Matt gets the hell out of the lunchroom.

  Everyone claps.

  Unbelievable.

  With my virtue restored, I sigh a huge breath of relief as my eyes lock on Braden’s as he approaches me. I can’t believe he pulled that off. Well, yes, maybe I can. Braden could convince a blind man to buy a million dollar painting.

  He sits across from me, exuding confidence. “Hi.”

  “Hi.”

  “You good?”

  “Thank you,” I whisper to him. “I’m not even going to ask how you got him to do that.”

  Braden smiles at me, his expression devious. “Good…I don’t want you to.”

  Reaching across the table, his fingertips graze the top of mine. “Go out with me this weekend.” His voice is low and his eyes are softer than just moments ago.

  His words catch me off guard, and I realize I’m openly staring at him. “Um…like on a date?”

  God, Karma, could you sound more stupid?

  A slow smile spreads across his face. “Exactly like on a date.”

  Heat radiates throughout my chest, his words soaking into my skin, leaving me tingly all over. “Really?” That word escapes in a breathless whisper.

  “Karma, I’m done pretending I just want to be friends. It’s hard to be around you when all I can think of is what it would be like to kiss you.”

  My heart flutters so much I swear it lands in my stomach. I can’t believe what I’m hearing. I’ve kept telling myself that we had to stay friends, that he’s not my type. But over the past few weeks, he’s proven, without a doubt that he’s nothing like most jocks at our school. My feelings for him have been gradually growing like a slow burn in the pit of my stomach, a burn I no longer want to ignore. I’m done fighting the inevitable.

  Leaning in, he squeezes my hand. “What do you say?”

  My words get stuck in my throat so I nod my answer with a goofy grin on my face.

  “There’s no denying there’s something between us, Karma…it just took you a little longer to see it, that’s all.”

  chapter nine

  May 2013

  My phone rings a recognizable ring tone, causing me to smile before I put it to my ear. Also causing a tinge of guilt, realizing I never got around to making that phone call.

  “Hey, Jeremy. It’s been a while,” I tell him, hoping he can hear the playfulness in my voice.

  I hear a soft chuckle from his end and he says, “Works both ways, Hippie Girl.”

  Sitting on the sofa, I tuck my legs under me and realize he’s right. I’ve been so busy I haven’t even told anyone I landed this huge job at LARU, let alone that I’m working alongside Braden.

  “Okay…you’re right. How’s everything going?”

  My fingers flip the tassel on the pillow that’s poking out beside me, and I realize I’m a little nervous about telling Jeremy I’m working with Braden. He picked up the pieces of my shattered heart after Braden walked out, knowing firsthand how devastated I was.

  “I just called to tell you that Karly was accepted into nursing school. And to catch up.”

  I miss Karly almost as much as I miss Jeremy. After our road trip, I got to know her well, loving that a brother and sister could be that close. Karly was sixteen going on twenty-five back then and boy crazy as hell. According to Jeremy, she has toned it down, concentrating on her studies more each year.

  “That’s fantastic news. Please congratulate her for me. I can’t believe she’s old enough to be in college.”

  “Well, there were a few instances where I thought I might have to drive to her campus and kick some co-ed ass,” he says, laughing, “but she handled things herself. Some guys just don’t know when to step back.”

  I can only envision what damage he could do when it comes to protecting those he loves. Jeremy’s love radiates loyalty, and I’ve always been thankful to have it in spades.

  There’s silence for a minute. “I can hardly believe I’m admitting to this, but I miss you, Karma. I hate that you’re so far away.” I hear him shuffling papers in the background, and I wonder what he’s doing. “I was thinking about our road trip the other day, and I had to play that damn movie you made.” He’s laughing now and I can’t help but join him.

  “I watch it more than I care to admit. It always puts me in a good mood.” I stretch my legs out in front of me, propping them on the coffee table. Laying my head on the back of the couch and staring up at the ceiling, I tell him, “You sound happy – I like that.”

  I hear a sigh escape him but it’s so faint I wonder if he didn’t want me to. “What about you?”

  “What about me?”

  “You happy? You working a lot?”

  “Well…I guess I need to catch you up.” I close my eyes and wonder how he’ll react to my news.

  “Meaning?”

  “I got an email from an advertising agency saying someone on their team recommended me. That someone happened to be Braden.” I hold my breath, waiting for his reaction.

  “What? He’s in L.A.?”

  “Yep. And I got the job. I’m working with him on the photo shoots and it’s weird but comfortable at the same time.”

  “Wow. That’s really strange after all these years.” His tone leads me to believe that he thinks it’s all kind of fishy.

  “I know, right?” I try to laugh it off but I know he knows better. He knows it’s affecting me a little.

  A deliberate silence ensues, and he says, “Does he know you’re still in love with him?”

  His question makes me sit up quickly, denial on the tip of my tongue. “I’m not still in love with him. I’ll admit, it took me a long time, but I finally got over him, Jeremy,” I say in a huff.

  He chuckles through the phone, adding to my defensiveness. “You keep telling yourself that, Hippie Girl. Let me know when you’re ready to admit the truth.”

  My cheeks burn. “I just told you the truth.” Changing the subject, I say, “Be sure to tell Karly how happy I am for her.”

  I hear him cover his phone, speaking to someone in the background. “Look, Karma, I’ve got to get going. I’ll pass your message along to Karly, yeah?”

  “You’d better. Thanks so much for the great news, Jeremy. Talk soon.”

  We end the call and before I put my phone down, I get a text from Braden telling me where and when the next photo shoot will be. Grabbing my laptop, I punch the address in my search engine and see it’s an old warehouse.

  What a freaking awesome place for a
photo shoot.

  That night in bed, I toss and turn, Jeremy’s accusation taunting me like a bad dream.

  Except I’m fully awake.

  * * *

  Propped against the headboard of my bed, my laptop rests on my legs as I painstakingly edit each photo from Point Dume, a highly time-consuming aspect of my job. The vibrating of my phone pulls me away from the image projected on the screen. Not recognizing the number, I hesitantly answer, thinking it could be a potential client.

  “This is Karma.”

  “Karma – it’s Lee. Whitaker.”

  My heart races, the sound of his voice sending my insides on an invisible roller coaster. “Yes. How are you?” This phone call right here symbolizes his age. Most people my age hide behind text messages, not using the phone as it was meant to be used. Right now, I truly wish I had the luxury of time that comes with texting, knowing I’m not allowed that during a phone call – he makes me a little nervous. But a good nervous.

  “I’m well, thank you. I hope I’m not out of line by calling you since the only reason I have your number was for work purposes.” He pauses and my heart stops racing. Like – it just stops altogether, waiting for his next words to tumble through my phone. “I wanted to know if you’d like to join me for dinner.” There’s another pause, like he’s not quite finished as his words settle over me, causing a slight adrenaline rush. “Let me clarify that a little – I’m not inquiring about a business dinner. This would be strictly that of a personal nature.”

  He’s asking me out.

  Nervous energy flows through my veins. It’s been so long since I’ve been on a date, I’m not sure how I remember how to behave on a first date. All the right questions to ask. How much to talk or not talk about your job. Hell, I’ve not had one since I’ve had a job. I’ve been too busy attempting to jump-start my career that I haven’t even paid much mind to it. Okay, that’s not true. I do think about how dateless I’ve been, especially when I notice couples together, looking happy and in love. But now I’m being asked out. The dry spell is finally over. This small euphoria has me answering, “Yes. I’d love to have dinner with you.”

  See? That wasn’t so hard, after all. I smile into the phone, silently thanking this man for restoring my confidence, not realizing until, just now, how much I needed this.

  And did I just hear a sigh of relief come from him?

  “That’s great. By the way, how do you like the perfume? I’ve bet you’ve turned some heads.” And as if he just realized what he said, he adds, “Wait – that wouldn’t be in my favor. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so hasty.”

  Man, he’s smooth, I’ll give him that. “I love the perfume, Lee. And you’ve nothing to worry about, I assure you.”

  He chuckles. “Not sure if I believe you, but thanks for the reassurance. How does Friday night sound? Pick you up at seven?”

  Sad but true, I know my Friday night is wide open. “Sure – that works. I’ll text you my address.”

  “Excellent. I’ll see you then.” He pauses before adding, “Oh – and Karma? I’m really looking forward to getting to know you better.”

  My insides flutter once more, secretly loving how interested he seems. “Likewise,” I tell him. “See you Friday.” And the call ends.

  Still clutching my phone, I can hardly believe what just transpired. I guess my attraction to him wasn’t one-sided after all.

  For some odd reason, the thought of Braden stomps through my mind, and I kick it out immediately, not allowing my good fortune to be messed with.

  This has nothing to do with him – I don’t care what Jeremy thinks.

  chapter ten

  May 2007

  It’s the end of our junior year, so it’s only fitting that the year ends as it began – with a huge gathering at The Pit. Though other gatherings have been substantial, this event exhibits a huge turnout, bringing together a variety of upperclassmen, including the occasional college student home for the summer, always looking for another party.

  This time around, Braden and I are glued at the hip instead of staring at each other across the pit, wondering what the other is thinking. Even Stella has found a new beau, Jason, who sweeps her away moments after we arrive, leaving Braden and I some much needed alone time. Lightness fills my chest as I watch them head off on their own. Having never seen Stella so taken with a guy before, I feel grateful that she’s finally found someone who balances her. Braden and I couldn’t be happier, having spent our entire junior year together.

  I slip my hand in Braden’s and lead us away from the crowd, stepping over empty Solo cups, paper plates, and empty pizza boxes littered along the ground. Finding a vacant lounge chair, Braden sits, pulling me down in front of him, my head resting on his strong chest.

  We’re both quiet, watching a group of kids dancing not too far from us. Braden lowers his mouth to my ear. “What are you thinking?”

  His breath sends shivers down my spine, and I snuggle closer to him. “Just how great this year has been.”

  He squeezes me tight and we spend the next several moments reminiscing about our time together. For the first time in years, our soccer team made it to the semifinals before winning the championship game. This was due to Braden’s skills, creating a new record for most goals scored in a season.

  Mrs. Landry had talked me into entering a photojournalism contest, claiming I was a natural, with a still shot I took of the crowd during the championship game. I got runner-up in my category, which wasn’t bad for a first-timer.

  “I still can’t believe I got second place,” I rave, excitedly.

  “I can. Although it should’ve been first place – I’m still amazed by that photo.” The pride revealed by his words warms me from the inside out.

  Thinking back on the photo, I was proud of the shot. I took the picture as an unnatural stillness cloaked the stadium during the championship game that went into penalty kicks. The expressions I captured from the crowd told the story that no words could.

  “I don’t know why you doubt yourself so much,” Braden continues. “It’s obvious you have amazing talent. You won an award the very first year you picked up a camera.”

  “It was a lucky shot, Braden. I’m still learning,” I say, shrugging off his praise.

  Braden captures my shoulders and turns me to face him, a thoughtful expression hardens his face. “Don’t be so quick to sell yourself short, Karma. It’s not pure luck – I’ve seen your work and it’s incredible,” he says, his expression softening as he speaks. “Who knows, maybe you’ll end up making a career out of it one day.”

  I laugh to myself, not wanting to admit to him that he’s a little biased. But I have to admit that the thought is appealing to earn a living doing something I love, just like I can see Braden doing something with soccer.

  Lifting my eyes to his, I notice he’s staring at me with a yearning look. “What?”

  He swallows slowly, saying, “You’re so beautiful.”

  “Braden…”

  Placing his hands on my hips, he tugs me closer, his eyes never leaving mine. “There are no words to describe how I feel about you, Karma. Sometimes it overwhelms me.”

  A feeling of weightlessness causes me to sink into him further, his words solidifying what I’ve known all along.

  “I…I love you, Karma. You’ve got to know that.” He swallows nervously, his Adam’s apple bobbing in slow motion.

  I do. I feel it. I see it in his eyes. My love for him is so astounding that I feel I’ll be crushed beneath the weight. I don’t know why I haven’t told him before now. I guess I wanted him to say it first.

  Looking into his eyes, the warmth of his gaze communicates everything he just verbalized and my pulse races as his words sink in. “I love you, too,” I tell him, placing my hands on his cheeks. “So much.”

  He presses his lips to mine, tracing my bottom one with his tongue. A small moan escapes me and I mimic the gesture, feeling hunger in his kiss that I’ve never felt before. I fe
el like I’m glowing from the inside out, tasting our future in his kiss.

  We get little time to savor this magical moment as Stella and Jason walk up to us, shoving cups of beer in our hands. Braden sets his down beside him, claiming to be the designated driver. Stella frowns at him before turning her attention to me. “Chug-a-lug, Karm. You’ve got some catching up to do.”

  I laugh at her, realizing she’s well on her way to becoming intoxicated. What the hell, tonight is the time for celebrating all the greats of the past year, including the moment Braden and I just shared. Clicking my cup to Stella’s, I chug about half of my beer.

  “Hell, yeah,” Stella cheers.

  Tonight is a time to let loose, feeling the buzz in the air, the freedom from school, teachers and tests lifting us to new heights. I have no idea how much time has passed when Stella tugs at my arm. “Come with me to get another drink.”

  Braden kisses me on my forehead. “Be careful,” he says, dropping his arm from around my waist.

  Stella’s brows furrow. “She’ll be with me, Braden…she’ll be fine.” She draws the word fine out like she’s singing it.

  Braden chuckles as he watches us walk away.

  We stumble our way towards one of the kegs. The atmosphere hums with a crazy fervor –energy and music blaring. Pit hangouts are usually mellow but there’s no mistaking the intensity buzzing around me. It’s taking forever to get to the keg and I ask Stella, “Did they move the keg?”

  She stops and bends over, laughing hysterically. I can’t help myself and join in, not understanding what we’re laughing about.

  When she finally catches her breath, she says, trying hard to concentrate on her words, “I think we’re lost, Karma.” I regard kids scattered everywhere – how can we be lost?

  Now I’m just confused…and drunk. I didn’t realize how drunk I was until I walked around, and now I’m feeling dizzy and numb. Apparently Stella feels the same. “We’ve lost the keg,” she snorts. “I think someone has stolen it. Quick…we need to report a theft.” She finally falls over from her laughter, and I just stare at her, trying to understand why someone would want to steal the keg. I finally kneel down beside her, trying to be serious when she keeps making me laugh.