Guts & Glory: Walker (In the Shadows Security Book 4)

by Jeanne St. James

  “Among others,” Rissa quickly added under her breath.

  Frankie nodded. “Anyone snitching gets the boot.”

  “Snitches get stitches,” Kelsea added seriously. “Also, it’s a law that whatever barbecue, kid’s party, or whatever Axel gets invited to? Someone must bring cupcakes.”

  Ellie had no idea who this Axel was. “Why?”

  Rissa leaned into her arm and said, just as seriously as Kelsea, “Trust me. You do not want to miss Axel licking the icing off the top, then scooping out the filling of one of Bella’s stuffed cupcakes with his tongue. Our men may have Ranger Panties, but Bella’s a lucky bitch since her man has a golden tongue.”

  Ellie wondered if this Axel’s tongue beat Trace’s. Impossible. “Is Bella a part of the sisterhood?”

  “Yes,” all three answered at once.

  “Is Axel one of the bikers?”

  “Yes and no,” Kelsea answered carefully. “Heavy on the no.”

  “Is he a Shadow?” She didn’t remember him being at the warehouse. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t and simply hadn’t been somewhere else.

  “No, he’s...” Rissa rolled her eyes up at sky for a second, then answered, “an exception.”

  Kelsea nodded. “It’s complicated.”

  As fascinated as she was to learn more about the golden-tongued exception named Axel, Ellie needed to steer this conversation back to Trace since it was going off the rails. “So, you all watch Walker when he runs.”

  Mmm hmm’s and dreamy smiles went around the table.

  “That means you know about his leg.” Of course, they did, but she was trying to snap them all out of the fantasies they fell into while they discussed Ranger Panties—which now she had an official name for all that clingy goodness—and the tonguing of icing.

  “Hard to miss,” Kelsea said on a giggle before taking a long sip of her remaining wine.

  “Do any of you know how it happened?”

  All three of the ladies’ heads snapped up and eyes narrowed on her.

  Rissa lifted a hand. “Wait. He didn’t tell you?”

  “We assumed you two were knocking boots,” Kelsea added. “Or boot, in his case.”

  Frankie leaned forward with a look of concern. “Hunter said something about the two of you being lost loves. We figured you were rekindling the flames. In fact, he...”

  “He?” Ellie prodded when she didn’t continue. She most certainly wanted to hear the rest since it was Hunter who was in Denver with Trace.

  “Uh. He was concerned that you were left here alone and thought you might want company.”

  That sounded like a fib. “You ladies—”

  Kelsea snorted.

  Ellie began again. “You ladies came over here because Trace asked you to?”

  “Trace?” went up around the table in stereo. The women looked at each other first before turning back to Ellie.

  “Damn, that name is hot,” Kelsea murmured. “Better than Dwight.”

  “I like the name Dwight,” Frankie told her. “It’s solid. Who names their kid Danny instead of Daniel? Not only Danny, but Danny Diego Delgado, Jr.? I mean, seriously? Triple D’s?”

  Ellie smothered her laugh with her hand.

  “I take it Danny Diego Delgado, the third, is out for a boy’s name,” Rissa said dryly, though her eyes had a sparkle to them.

  “Oh, I informed him of that as soon as I heard his whole name. We’re having a girl anyway.”

  Ellie stared at the empty wine glass in front of Frankie. “You’re pregnant?”

  “No. Not yet.”

  Kelsea curved a hand around the side of her mouth and stage whispered. “They’re practicing. A lot.”

  Rissa arched a brow at Kelsea. “And you two aren’t? The only good thing about Walker building his house between both of ours, is now there’s a sound barrier and I don’t hear Ryder’s southern accent getting thick because we have all figured out why that happens.”

  Kelsea’s lips twitched. “If that’s all you heard, then you’re lucky.”

  Rissa rolled her eyes. “No, that’s not all we heard. But we’ll leave it at that.”

  Heat rushed into Ellie’s face. “I figured since these houses were newer, they’d have thicker walls.”

  “They do, but some of us are louder than others.” Rissa faked coughed into her hand. “Kels.”

  Kelsea’s grin widened and shrugged. “You must not hear yourself. ‘Ooooh, Ryan! Give it to me, big boy!’”

  “I don’t call him big boy,” Rissa’s hiss ended with a tipsy giggle.

  “Your blush is telling us you two are getting it on,” Frankie murmured, ignoring the other two, her dark eyes glued to Ellie’s face.

  “Please tell us you are,” Kelsea added.

  “It’s... It’s...”

  “Oh fuck. It’s temporary?” Frankie asked with a raised brow.

  Ellie wasn’t sure she should admit it, but she nodded.

  All three women slammed into the back of their chairs and howled with laughter.

  “Um...” Ellie stared at her wine glass, wishing it wasn’t empty. She pushed to her feet. “I’m going to grab another bottle of wine.”

  Kelsea reached out, snagged her wrist and tugged her back into her seat. “No, hold on. We didn’t mean to laugh.”

  “Yes, we did,” Frankie corrected her, then shook her head. “Of course it’s temporary.”

  “This is going to be fun to watch,” Rissa added.

  “Only because we’ve all dealt with this same ‘temporary’ bullshit,” Frankie said, her head tilted as she studied Ellie. “They ride in on their white horses and plan on riding back out once they’re the hero. However, on that ride back into the sunset, their horse breaks a damn leg.” She rolled her eyes and got serious. “You two were together once, right?”

  “Yes, but we were young.”

  “Weren’t we all,” Rissa murmured. “When I had a smaller ass and could fit into a double D bra.” She sighed.

  “Mercy loves your tits and ass, so shut it,” Kelsea told her. “All the boys love your quadruple Q tits, they’re just too scared to look at them.”

  Rissa laughed. “Oh, they’re not too scared. I’ve caught them all.” She quickly looked at Kelsea and Frankie. “Except for Hunter and Ryder, I mean.”

  Frankie and Kelsea rolled their eyes.

  Frankie swatted her hand in the air. “You don’t have to cover for them. We know how they are. Anyway, how long were you two together?”

  “Just a couple years.”

  “And then?”

  “And then he went in the Army,” Ellie answered Frankie.

  “And?”

  “And,” Ellie shrugged. “And that was it.”

  “He broke up with you to go into the Army?” Rissa asked in a sharp whisper.

  “No, I...” Ellie took a deep inhale. “I broke up with him.”

  “When he was overseas?”

  “Yes.”

  The women around the table got quiet.

  Finally, Frankie asked, “You let your man go because he enlisted in the Army?”

  Ellie closed her eyes, her fingers wrapping tightly around the stem of her empty wine glass. “I was young and stupid and scared.”

  “Scared of what?”

  “Losing him.”

  “But you lost him by letting him go,” Frankie whispered.

  She didn’t let him go, in truth, she pushed him away. “I let him go before he could be taken from me. Again, it was stupid. I never should have done it.”

  “You loved him,” Rissa stated, her eyes watching Ellie way too carefully.

  “Yes.”

  “You still love him?”

  Ellie rose her eyes to Rissa’s. “Yes.”

  “You married someone else.” It wasn’t a question that came from Kelsea, it sounded more like an accusation.

  She didn’t need to feel any worse about it than she already did. Ellie shoved her chair back and got to her feet. “I appreciate y
ou ladies stopping by and keeping me company while Trace is gone, but now I have some things I need to do.”

  “Ellie, wait,” Kelsea said as they all stood up. “We’ve all fucked up. We’ve all made mistakes. And Frankie was right when she said they ride in on their white horses—though, in reality, they’re dark horses—to be the hero and save our asses. Ryder saved my fucking ass. No joke. I was in a dark, dark place that he pulled me out of. If it wasn’t for him, I’m not sure where I’d be.”

  Rissa spoke up next. “I made the mistake of trusting a good friend of mine, who, in the end, wasn’t as good of a person as I thought he was. His illegal activities got me into a dangerous jam that Mercy got me out of, luckily. He saved my ass.”

  Ellie’s eyes slid to Frankie as she began to speak. “I can’t even begin to tell you how Hunter helped me and Leo because of a major mistake I made, too. If it wasn’t for him...” Her lips flattened out.

  “My point was,” Kelsea continued, “we make mistakes, we learn from them, we move on as best as we can. We might bitch about our men, and I’m sure they bitch about us, but I can tell you...” Her voice caught. “I can tell you if you think whatever you had with Walker is worth fighting for, then you need to fight hard. Just like us, these men are far from perfect. They’re stubborn and hard-headed, but so are we. But, fuck, they will never hesitate to tell you flat out that we make them a better man. And I can tell you, no bullshit, they make us better women. I was barely existing until Ryder took me, shook me and then threw me back out into the world. I’m thankful for that every damn day.”

  “Everybody is thankful for that,” Rissa said softly. “We’re not judging you, Ellie, and never will. But we’re here for you because we live and love men who are just like Walker. So, if anyone understands, we do. None of us met our men in perfect conditions. You know why? Because there are no perfect conditions. There are no fairy tales. There’s life. And sometimes it’s really hard. While other times it’s simply hard to deal with. But we’re just as strong as our men, so we deal with just as much shit as they can. Even so, it’s sure nice to have someone, whether it’s our men, or the sisterhood, at our back. So... if you ever want to talk...”

  Kelsea tipped her head toward the taller woman as she snagged the two empty wine bottles off the table. “She’s a therapist. A good one. Trust me.”

  Every muscle locked in her body. “I don’t need a therapist.”

  “We all need a therapist,” Frankie said with a sharp laugh, gathering the empty wine glasses. “Including our men, though they’d never admit it.”

  Most men like that wouldn’t. They’d rather suffer before asking for help.

  Rissa said, “We’ll leave the cupcakes here since they always tend to help.”

  She didn’t need the help they were talking about. She only needed help to disappear. That was it.

  Problem solved.

  “I need to get Leo from Diamond,” Frankie said. “If you need anything, Ellie, let me know. Walker and Hunter are close. That means if you stick around, I hope we become close, too.”

  “All the boys are close,” Kelsea said with a wink. “But some of them a little more than the others. I had to deal with that when it came to Steel feeling the need to protect Ryder and doing it to my face. Like she said, anything you need, we’re here for you.” She followed Frankie into the house. “I’ll walk you out, Frankie.”

  Then it was just her and Rissa on the back deck. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to ruin our afternoon. I loved it and I appreciate you all coming over. According to Trace, I might be here for a few more days, so I’d love to get together with you ladies again.”

  Rissa stood by the French doors, studying Ellie. “You’d be a fool to let him go again. He’s a good man. They all are.”

  “I might not have a choice this time.”

  “Mercy said you came here asking for their help to disappear.”

  Ellie was surprised Rissa knew that. “Do they normally talk about their cases?”

  “No. But this one’s special, I guess. Look, our men are typical in the sense they don’t talk about feelings. They think they’re invincible and nothing will break them. But they’re not typical because they all know each other very well and, though it’s not discussed, they know what each other’s needs are. Sometimes it’s a little scary how in tune they are with each other. Even Diesel. But then, I guess that’s what makes a good team.”

  “Pieces of a puzzle,” Ellie murmured.

  Rissa gave her a soft smile. “Yes, they’re puzzle pieces. But they not only have to fit perfectly with the other men, but with their other halves, which are their women. Sometimes it’s a lot for them. In fact, I’m not sure any of them expected to find the woman who—how should I say it?—soothed their soul. Completed them. But in truth, they do the same for us. These guys are intense, and I have to say mine is the worst. Every day is a struggle with him, but I do it because I know it’s worth it. Let me let you in on something Walker may never tell you. With what they do, they hold onto a lot of secrets, a lot of memories that would haunt others. They do things they never talk about. Not to anyone but amongst themselves. Sometimes not even then. Sometimes they’re alone with the things they’ve done or might have to do. They might think they’re strong enough to deal with it, but, honestly, it has to wear on their psyche at some point. To do some of those things, they have to turn off their conscience. And that’s not healthy. It affects them more than they realize. Because while sometimes they can come off cold and uncaring, in truth, they love and care intensely. You just have to know it’s there, even when you can’t see it. Luckily, Walker isn’t as bad as Mercy or even Steel. But even so, I’m sure he’d rather hide his vulnerability than expose it.”

  “And I’m his vulnerability?”

  “I’d guess one of them. Just like I’m Mercy’s. Frankie and Leo, their son, are Hunter’s. And Kelsea is Ryder’s. And we won’t even discuss Diesel. That fucking man...” Rissa sighed and shook her head. “Mercy is the coldest man I’ve ever met, but he also burns the hottest. So even if Walker shuts you out, don’t think you’ve lost him. If he’s worth it, never give up.”

  “I gave up.”

  Rissa smiled. “And now you’re going to fix that.”

  “I wish it was that simple.”

  “It is that simple.”

  “But these men who want their money... They won’t stop until they get it.”

  “Trust the Shadows, Ellie. Trust Walker. If he loves you, and my guess is he does, then he won’t stop until you’re safe. All you have to do is believe.”

  Believe.

  “What if this is bigger than what they can handle?”

  Rissa tilted her head and smiled. “Then you don’t know these men, Ellie. They can handle anything.”

  At what cost? Ellie wanted to ask.

  “I can see myself out. I’ll write our numbers down and put them on the counter. I’ll make sure you get on the texting tree for when the boys are out running. Then you’ll also have our numbers if you need them. Don’t forget, I’m right next door. So is Kelsea.”

  With that, Rissa gave her a last smile and walked inside.

  Chapter Thirteen

  After she plugged all the numbers on the list Rissa left on the counter into her phone, she made a large pan of baked ziti, ate a plateful before freezing the rest in some containers she found in one of the kitchen cabinets. She marked the date and what it was on the lid and stacked them into his garage freezer.

  She’d make a new list of groceries, text them to Walker to send to Jesse so she had enough ingredients to prepare him a variety of meals for the future. It was the least she could do for what he was doing, or trying to do, for her.

  She had popped the cork on her last bottle of red. She needed to add that to the shopping list, too.

  She filled her glass almost to the rim and while she cooked, ate, and then wandered into his living room to figure out his multitude of remotes for the TV and all the boxes atta
ched, she managed to drink almost the whole bottle without even realizing it.

  At least, until she went to get her next glass and when she turned the bottle over, it was empty.

  Damn.

  She had realized after the ladies left, not one of them had mentioned how Trace lost his leg. But she couldn’t imagine why it would be a secret. Though, since Trace hadn’t shared about it with her, maybe they didn’t know, either.

  But one thing they said was to fight for Trace.

  However, to do that, she would have to stay. And, even if she wanted to, she wasn’t sure if that would be possible. She hadn’t heard from him all day, so she didn’t know what he found, if anything.

  Despite his best efforts, he might end up agreeing that she would need to disappear.

  In the meantime, did she really want to become attached all over again to a man she might not be able to have? Or who might not want her once this was over?

  She sat there, staring blankly at the TV, so tied up in her own head, which was swimming from all the wine she drank, when her phone rang next to her, making her jump.

  She quickly grabbed it and glanced at the screen.

  He now unblocked his number whenever he called her, so she knew it was him and not those other men. She was surprised to see how late it was, just after midnight.

  She swiped her finger over the screen and put the phone to her ear. “Trace,” she breathed.

  And when he answered, everything on her tingled and clenched. “Ellie.”

  Did his voice sound more erotic to her because it was late, and she was thoroughly pickled?

  Or was it like that all the time?

  “I had visitors today.” She bit back the giggle wanting to bubble up.

  She got nothing but a long pause. As if he waited for her to continue. So, she did. “I like them. They’re really nice.”

  “Good women,” came his answer.

  “They brought cupcakes and wine.”

  “I think that’s standard for them, sweetheart.”

  Ellie closed her eyes at his “sweetheart.” “It’s a good one to have.”