Finding Home with You

by Claire Raye

  “There have been some developments, Sir,” I start, stepping forward and taking a seat, Joe immediately following my lead. “I need to let you both know about some new information regarding what went down in the warehouse the other night.”

  “Okay,” the captain says, elbows on the desk as he leans forward.

  I take a deep breath, pulling the photo from the case file. “Seems the whole thing is connected to Fitzgerald and his crew,” I say, sliding it across his desk. “This was found in amongst the guns and shit that night. It’s an old family portrait, Fitzgerald, his wife, his 2IC and…” I pause, clearing my throat. “And his daughter.”

  “His 2IC?” Joe chimes in.

  “Yeah,” I nod, not looking at him. “Anthony Macklin is his name. Likely he was the one who dropped it that night. I have reports that this is the kind of shit he’d definitely be tied up in and given his now known links to Fitzgerald, this blows the whole case against him wide open. We’ll have to contact the DA.”

  “Where has this information come from?” the captain asks, looking up from the photo.

  I glance at Joe, before turning back to my boss. “Fitzgerald’s daughter,” I say, gesturing toward the picture. “Goes by the name of Erin Connelly these days.” My voice cracks as I say her name out loud, officially tying her to this shit storm.

  “What?” Joe practically shouts.

  “What?” the captain says. “What am I missing here?”

  I take another deep breath, trying to remain calm as I look at him and say, “Erin Connelly. My girlfriend.”

  A couple of hours later and Joe and I are finally walking out of the boss’ office. I’m trying to remain calm, but on the inside I’m fuming. It had taken everything I had in me to stay in control of my anger and frustrations as we worked through what would happen next. I’d half lost it when the captain tried to take me off the case citing a massive conflict of interest and possible impaired judgment.

  And while I didn’t doubt that this was partly true, given my involvement with Erin, I also knew that I was going to keep working this case whether I was officially on it or not. Aside from Beck and Finn, there was no one else I trusted to look after Erin other than me. Besides, I had a feeling she wouldn’t be too keen on talking to anyone else either.

  I got the feeling the captain had understood, so he’d agreed to let me stay on; for now, and with certain conditions attached.

  “You wanna get a drink?” Joe asks. “I think you probably need one?”

  I glance at my watch, see it’s almost six. “Yeah,” I exhale. “That would be good. Just give me a couple of minutes to finish up some things and I’ll be good to go.”

  Joe nods and wanders over to his desk. I walk into my office, flipping through the file for the contact details for the Cedar Junction facility. I want to call them and make sure they start sending me daily updates on who visits Fitzgerald. I’m pretty sure Macklin won’t risk it, but he may have a go-between. The biggest issue will be if the messages are being passed through the lawyers, because that’s one conversation I won’t be privy to, no matter how much I ask.

  The sound of my door slamming distracts me and when I look up I’m surprised to see Erin standing in my office, arms folded across her chest and a pissed off expression on her face.

  “Hey, babe, what are you doing here?” I ask, as I walk around my desk and move to hug her.

  Erin steps backward, shaking her head a little. “You went to visit my father?” she says through clenched teeth. “Why didn’t you tell me you went to see him?”

  “Okay, hold up,” I say, gently touching her elbow as I guide her toward a chair. Erin reluctantly sits and I do the same, pulling the chair around so we are facing each other. “Yes, Erin, I did go and see your father. This morning, after I left your place.”

  Erin says nothing at first, just stares at me. “But you didn’t tell me you were going to see him?” she eventually says. “Why not?”

  I pull my chair closer so my legs are on either side of hers, gently pulling at her arms to uncross them so she’s no longer sitting so defensively. “It was a last minute thing after I found out about the connection, but regardless, this is my job, Erin,” I say, trying to remain calm. “There are always going to be things I can’t tell you.”

  She shakes her head. “But you expect me to talk to you about everything?”

  “No,” I say, pinching the bridge of my nose. “I expect you not to keep secrets from me. Not to lie to me about your family.”

  “Secrets,” she shouts, pushing out of the chair. She shoves my leg away as she now starts pacing around my office. “You want me to spill my secrets, but it’s okay if you keep yours?”

  “Erin,” I say, standing. “This is a fucking police investigation. And in case you’ve forgotten, I am a detective. There are always going to be things I need to know and things I need to do. Things I can’t tell you about. But you, you’re a part of this now and you cannot keep shit from me anymore. No matter how much that pisses you off.”

  “Fuck you, Ryan,” she whispers. “I trusted you.”

  “Jesus fucking Christ,” I mumble, running my hands through my hair. I force myself to take a deep breath before walking over to her. Erin holds her hands in front of her, trying to ward me off but I ignore her, grabbing her arms and pulling her toward me. I wrap her tightly in my arms, holding her against my chest. Her body is rigid with anger but I don’t let up.

  “You can trust me, babe,” I whisper, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “I told you that. I know you don’t believe me, but you can trust me. I love you and I’m not going to let anything happen to you. But in order for that to happen, you have to let me do my job.”

  I feel her hands as they grip my hips now, her fingers digging in as though she’s debating whether to pull me closer or push me away. I loosen my grip a little, running a hand down her spine as though to soothe her.

  “I’m not trying to keep things from you, okay?” I continue. “I will tell you everything I can, I promise. But I really need you not to keep things from me, especially now you’re connected to all this. And especially because I’ve had to beg just to stay on this case.”

  “What?” she mumbles against my chest.

  I kiss the top of her head again before gently pushing her back. Smiling at her, I lean in and kiss her forehead before saying. “The boss wanted me off the case but I told him that was never going to happen,” I say. “I explained to him that you wouldn’t feel comfortable dealing with anyone else, so really it was in everyone’s best interests if I stayed.”

  “And he went for that?” she asks, biting her bottom lip.

  “He did,” I confirm. “But you have to talk to me, babe. You can’t keep things from me anymore, okay?”

  Erin stares up at me, an unreadable look on her face. I brush a thumb across her cheekbone, willing her to agree with me. “Okay,” she eventually whispers, nodding her head a little.

  “Is there anything else you haven’t told me?” I ask, cupping her face in my hands. “I promise I won’t get mad,” I add when she tries to look away.

  Erin gives me a look that tells me she doesn’t quite believe me.

  “I promise, babe,” I add.

  She takes a deep breath, straightening her spine as she looks me right in the eye. “There have been phone calls,” she says, her words a rush as though she just wants to get it all out before I have a chance to ask any questions. “Nothing is ever said, but I know it must be connected to him. It’s why I changed my number just recently.”

  I let out a long breath, force myself to remain calm as I realize how much I’ve missed. “Okay,” I say carefully. “Anything else?”

  She shrugs. “I don’t know,” she says, hands on my hips. “Sometimes I get the feeling someone’s watching me, but I can’t be sure, you know.”

  I lean in and kiss her lips, pulling her against me. “We’re going to take care of this, Erin, I
promise,” I add even as a nagging question bites at me. It’s only as Erin starts to deepen the kiss that it hits me.

  “Hang on,” I say, pulling away. “How did you know I’d been to visit Fitzgerald?”

  I watch as Erin swallows hard, her eyes flicking away now, looking anywhere but at me.

  “Erin,” I say, my voice firm. “Remember what you just promised me,” I remind her.

  “I…” she stops, stepping backward again. “Because I went to see him too,” she says, finally meeting my stare.

  “You did what?” I growl.

  “I needed to see him,” she says, taking another step backward. “I needed to…”

  “What you needed to do,” I say, cutting her off, “is talk to me about this first. Fuck, Erin, you should not be speaking to him. And you definitely shouldn’t be going to see him alone. Jesus Christ.”

  I scrub a hand down my face, my eyes closing in exhaustion as I try to work out a way I can quietly and safely escort Erin out of the city and possibly the country until all of this blows over. I know that’s not going to happen though. As much as I’d like to keep her out of all of this, that subpoena has made that all but impossible. The assistant DA told me as much when I called him to see if I could somehow get her out of testifying.

  I walk around to my chair; grabbing my jacket because I know there’s not a chance in hell we can continue this conversation here. There’s already a high probability one or both of us is going to lose our shit in a minute, and as much as I don’t want the entire office to bear witness to that, it’s the inevitable nakedness that always follows that I really don’t need them to see.

  “Let’s go,” I say, grabbing her arm as I steer her out of my office.

  “Ryan,” she says in a way that makes me stop.

  “What?” I ask, frustrated as I turn to look at her.

  Erin swallows hard, glancing away quickly before turning back to me. “He knew about you, about us,” she says, a nervous edge to her voice.

  I stare down at her, see the sadness and regret in her eyes now at everything this is doing to us. “What exactly did he say?” I ask.

  She pulls her arm from my grip, sliding her hand into mine instead, twisting our fingers together. “He asked why my loyalty was with the detective,” she whispers. “Before laughing about how my boyfriend, meaning you,” she adds as though I need the clarification, “why he didn’t tell me he’d been to visit.”

  “Shit,” I mumble, shaking my head as I pull her with me and we walk out of my office.

  Joe shoots me a look as we pass by his desk, but I shake my head, letting him know that drink won’t be happening tonight. Outside, we head toward my car, but as we get closer, I notice the front tire is flat. “Fuck,” I groan, wondering if this day could possibly get any worse. Then I notice the back tire is also flat and when I walk around I see the other two are the same.

  “What’s happened?” Erin asks, standing next to me.

  I shake my head in confusion even as I see the sheet of paper flapping under the wiper blade. Pulling it out, I stuff it in my pocket, before turning toward her. “Where’s your car?”

  “On the street,” she says, gesturing.

  “Give me your keys,” I demand and Erin hands them over without saying anything. We walk toward her car and as we climb in I ask, “Finn knows you’re here?” Erin shakes her head. “Text him you’re with me and that you’re staying the night. We can both head up tomorrow.”

  Erin complies without argument and as she types out a message, I navigate the evening traffic in her small hatchback toward my place. Although it’s a short trip, the piece of paper burns a hole in my pocket the whole way home. I know this isn’t an accident, not by a long shot. As unlikely as four flat tires is, it’s damn near impossible for four slashed tires to be a fucking accident.

  We eventually pull into my condo, both of us silently getting out of the car. I head to my mailbox, knowing I’ve barely been home the past week to empty it. It’s filled with junk mail and bills, which I carry as we head upstairs to my condo.

  Inside, Erin stops, turns toward me. “I’m going to go take a shower,” she says quietly.

  I nod, stepping closer to her and pressing a quick kiss to her lips. “I’ll be there in a sec,” I say, wishing both of us could just step into that shower and wash this entire saga away.

  She nods before walking toward my bathroom.

  The second the shower starts running, I pull the note from my pocket. Unfolding it, my blood boils the second I see what’s written there.

  So now we know where you work.

  The words are typed and I’d put money on the paper being clean of prints. Shoving it back into my pocket, I throw the bills on the counter, reaching for the scotch in a bid to calm down before I have to walk in and face Erin. But as I do, a large yellow envelope in amongst the white ones catches my eye. It’s addressed to me, but not in a way that suggests it’s been delivered through the post.

  I grab it, my hand shaking as I carefully open it and pull the contents out. It’s a single black and white photo of me; walking up the stairs to my condo, phone at my ear and a smile on my face. It’s not dated, but at a guess, I’d say it’s recent, probably as recent as two weeks ago.

  I flip it over and see the note, hand written this time, on the back.

  And where you live.

  “Fuck,” I grit between clenched teeth, shoving the photo back inside the envelope.

  Walking quickly into the bedroom, I yank open the top draw of the side table, placing the note from my car and the envelope from the mail inside. Slamming it shut, I turn and walk back to the kitchen, picking up the bottle of scotch and taking a long pull straight from the bottle.

  Yeah, this day just got a whole lot worse.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Erin

  I stand under the hot water letting it burn itself into my exhausted body. Maybe I can melt away everything that’s happened today, last week, this year...this lifetime. This situation is more fucked up than ever, and as much as Ryan tried to act like the slashed tires were just a minor inconvenience, we both know it’s much more than that.

  Someone is sending Ryan a message to back the fuck off, and if he doesn’t listen, which I know he won’t, it’s going to get so much worse.

  Anthony doesn’t want me back, because if he did he would’ve found me years ago. I was never the compliant quiet girlfriend I was supposed to be, and he didn’t have time for that. But that doesn’t mean he’s not bitter. He’s spiteful and vengeful, and it would totally be his MO to ruin my life.

  If he’s not happy, no one will be.

  Ryan hasn’t shared much with me, but what I do know gives me reason to believe that Anthony isn’t going to give up anytime soon.

  I almost wish Ryan’s captain would’ve taken him off the case, because to Ryan, this is not only a job, it’s become personal. I don’t think he’s going be able to separate his feelings for me, and my connection to all this and his ability to do his job rationally.

  When I get out of the shower I can hear Ryan talking to someone on the phone, but his voice is calmer and I hear him laugh, and just the sound makes me smile. I love the sound of his laugh and I feel my heart flutter as I walk up behind him and slip my arms around his waist. I press up on my toes and kiss the back of his neck.

  “Sounds good,” Ryan says as he turns in my arms to face me. “We’ll see you soon,” he adds and then he hits the end button on his phone.

  “Who will we see soon?” I ask, my eyebrows raised because clearly he has something planned. I’m still on my tiptoes, my face looking up at him as Ryan quickly kisses me, and then says, “My family.”

  He’s beaming as he kisses me again and starts to walk toward the bedroom. I’m following closely behind beginning to panic before I even have the details.

  I can’t meet his family not when mine is such a fucked up mess, not to mention that we haven’t even
been together that long.

  “Ryan,” I call trailing after him as he ducks into the bedroom, clearly avoiding me but with that cheeky smile still plastered on his face. “When are we going? Like now, tomorrow, next week?” I ask, watching him grab an overnight bag from his closet.

  I scrub my hands over my face and pull them through my wet hair. I guess the bag answers my question.

  “We’re going to leave tonight. I know you’re on winter break now, but I don’t have a ton of free time and I figure it’s as good of a time as any to go.”

  He’s completely casual as he goes along tossing socks and underwear into his bag acting like he can’t see the panic that is written all over my face.

  “One of my sisters will be there too,” he adds, taking my face in his hands now and kissing me hard. “We just need to make a quick stop at your place and then we’ll be all set.”

  Again, with the casualness as my panic starts to escalate.

  “Ryan, what about your car?” I ask trying to stall this visit as much as possible. I’d like a little more time to be prepared.

  “All taken care of. I made some calls while you were in the shower, and the tow truck is on its way.”

  “Your job?” I question now knowing that’s the one thing that will possibly make him stay.

  “Again, Erin, it’s all good. I’ve got some work I’ve got to take care of up there, so you can hang out with my mom and my sister.”

  What in the literal fuck is he trying to do to me? I’m an only child, I have the shittiest family, and he thinks we’re just going to show up and hang out like we’re old friends? I don’t do families and socializing.

  “Ryan,” I practically plead, but he shakes his head, still smiling, he zips his bag and starts walking toward the door.

  “You ready?” he calls over his shoulder as he opens the door and begins to leave. “We’ve got at least a three hour drive ahead of us so get moving.”

  Without questioning him anymore because it’s obvious he’s made up his mind, I grab my coat and shoes and follow him out to my car. Maybe at least when we get back to my house I can talk some sense into him.