Finding Home with You

by Claire Raye

  “What does that mean?”

  “It means,” she adds, curling her legs beneath her as she half turns to face me. “That I overheard some shit. Saw stuff I probably wasn’t supposed to see and started to piece everything together.”

  “Fuck, Red,” I half shout, my foot automatically pressing on the gas as we start to speed up. “What did you see?”

  “It wasn’t anything serious,” she adds, but the way she says it has me wondering. “It was just…” she trails off.

  “Just what?”

  “Just stuff,” Erin says, shrugging as though it’s no big deal. “People coming over all the time, large envelopes of cash being exchanged, everyone kissing my father’s ass, whispering things when they didn’t want him to hear or whatever,” she continues, an edge to her voice now. “But of course people at school weren’t quiet about it, especially when their parents started telling them to stay away from me.”

  “You serious?” I ask, incredulous.

  “Yep,” she says, nodding. “One by one, all of my friends started to disappear. Told me I wasn’t the kind of person their parents wanted them hanging around with. Sucked.”

  “Babe,” I say, reaching for her hand again. “I’m really sorry.”

  Erin shrugs as though it’s no big deal, even though I can tell it is. “I think that’s why I was always so close to Kelsey,” she continues, brushing her thumb across my knuckles. “She never really knew anything about my family. At first anyway. So there was never any judgment from her about them. And when I finally showed up in Rockport without them and needing her help, she didn’t even flinch. Even after I told her everything.”

  “I’m glad you have her,” I say, lifting our joined hands to my lips.

  “Me too,” she whispers.

  “Can I ask why you eventually left?” I ask.

  Erin takes a deep breath now, as though she’s steeling herself for what she’s about to tell me. “Well, finding out my dad was some sort of fucking mob boss was a big part of it,” she eventually says, running a hand through her hair. “I didn’t want to get involved with any of that shit and I knew the only way I was ever going to be free was to just leave.”

  “Makes sense,” I murmur, glad she didn’t stay and wind up as some wife of gangster, married not just to her husband but also the Irish mob.

  “And I also needed to get away from Anthony,” she adds, almost as though it’s an afterthought.

  But it’s way more than that and knowing we are only a couple of minutes from my parent’s house now, I indicate to pull over so we can have this conversation before I lose the opportunity.

  “Why are you stopping?” Erin asks, looking around at the empty fields.

  “What happened with Anthony?” I ask, ignoring her question as I turn in my seat to face her.

  Erin shrugs. “I just wasn’t the girlfriend he wanted me to be,” she says.

  “In what way?” I ask, my heart thudding in my chest.

  She turns to me, offers a small smile as she says, “Compliant.”

  “Did he hurt you?” I push, knowing I already want to kill this motherfucker, but if I find out he’s hurt her, I’m gonna make it slow and painful.

  Erin shakes her head. “Not physically, no.”

  “You sure?” I ask, knowing domestic violence victims don’t always realize that the things being done to them are abuse.

  Erin exhales as though she’s exhausted and not just by the long day and the late hour. “Can we take a time out from all this, Ryan. Please?”

  I watch her, see the hurt and pain and anguish in her eyes as she looks back at me, silently begging for a reprieve from all the questioning. This is the most she’s ever talked about her past with me and I know that if I want her to keeping talking to me, I have to be careful about how hard I push her. She isn’t a suspect and this isn’t an interview.

  I nod. “Yeah,” I say, giving in for now. “And thank you for talking to me, babe,” I add, pulling her toward me. “I’m really glad you talked to me.” Erin buries her face in my neck, but I feel the nod as she acknowledges what I’ve said to her.

  “I still love you, you know that right,” I whisper, my mouth at her ear. “Nothing I learn about you or your family is ever going to change that.” I pull back, cupping her face in my hands as I stare into her eyes, willing her to believe me. Eventually she nods and I smile before leaning in to kiss her.

  Five minutes later, we are pulling into the drive of my parent’s house. It’s late, after midnight and the house is half in darkness as though everyone has gone to bed.

  “Will they still be up?” Erin asks.

  I turn off the car and stare up at the house. “Maybe my mom, yeah. She usually waits for everyone to arrive.”

  “Not your dad or sister?”

  “Probably not,” I say as I get out of the car. “Don’t worry, you’ll get to meet them in the morning.”

  “Hmmm,” is all she says as she undoes her seat belt but stays in her seat.

  I walk around to her side and open the door. “Can’t spend the whole trip in the car, babe,” I say, as I hold out my hand to her. “It gets pretty cold out up here.” She turns and gives me a filthy look, which only makes me laugh. “Come on you sexy minx, get out of the car,” I add, pulling her out of her seat and into a quick embrace.

  The front door is unlocked when we reach it and I don’t miss the look Erin gives me, the raised eyebrow as though she finds it slightly ironic that I’m somehow okay with my parent’s house being unlocked in the middle of the night, but not with her keeping a key under her mat. A key that is no longer there because it’s now on my keyring.

  I gesture for her to walk in, gently smacking her on the ass as she does. She flicks me a look over her shoulder and I can’t help but laugh as I direct her into the living room.

  “Hey, Ma,” I say to the figure on the couch watching some crime show on tv.

  “Ryan,” she says, getting up and walking over to us. “You’re finally here.”

  “Yeah, sorry, traffic was a bitch,” I say, pulling her in for a hug. “Ma, this is my girlfriend, Erin. Babe, this is my mom, Mary.”

  I watch as Erin holds out her hand, only for my mom to ignore it and pull her in for a hug as well. “So nice to finally meet you, Erin,” she says. “Ryan’s told us so much about you.”

  “He has?” she asks, glancing at me.

  “Hasn’t shut up about you actually,” Sarah says from the shadows of the couch.

  “Shit, Sarah,” I say. “I didn’t even realize you were here.”

  My baby sister smirks as she walks toward me, throwing her arms around me and hugging me. I return the embrace, grateful she’s lost some of the pissed off attitude about me for kicking her out of my place all those months ago.

  “This mean I’m forgiven?” I ask, ruffling a hand in her hair.

  “No,” she says, punching me in the arm. “But it doesn’t mean I don’t still love you, big brother. Even if you are a shithead.”

  I laugh, glancing at Erin as I say, “See what I mean,” before introducing them. “So, Sarah, meet my girlfriend Erin. Erin, meet my pain in the ass baby sister, Sarah.”

  “Hi,” Erin says, eyes flicking between me and my sister.

  “Hey,” Sarah says, as she pulls herself from my embrace and walks over to Erin, hugging her just like my mom did. “And for the record, it is great to finally meet you,” she adds on. “Come sit, do you want something to eat, a drink?”

  Erin glances at me as though she isn’t sure what the right answer is. I smile as I look at Sarah and say, “It’s late and we’ve had a long day. How about bed and you two can talk tomorrow? There’s a couple of things I need to do, so you’ll have her all to yourself for a couple of hours,” I add, knowing there’s not a chance in hell that Erin will be coming with me when I head out to the prison. It was hard enough making sure we got out of Boston and Rockport without anyone following us, I su
re as shit don’t need her coming with me while I go and chase up a possible connection to her ex-boyfriend. “But go easy, alright,” I say, glaring at both my sister and my mom. “I don’t want either of you scaring my girl off with fifty million questions.”

  Mom scoffs as she waves a hand at me. “Don’t be silly, Ryan. I just want a chance to get to know the first girl my son’s ever brought home a little better.”

  I see Erin turn to face me now, a look of complete shock on her face. Mom’s right, I’ve never brought a girl home to introduce to my family. Not ever. Not because I haven’t had any girlfriends in the past. I’ve just never had any that I wanted to bring home like this.

  My family is very close and I’m very protective of them, just like they are of me. We might scrap and argue, but it’s always playful and quickly resolved. They mean the world to me, and to bring a random girl into that, well it just isn’t something I’ve ever wanted to do.

  But with Erin, things are different. Not only does she mean more to me than that, she’s also someone I see myself spending the rest of my life with. And for that reason, I know she’s worth introducing to my family.

  “Okay, we’re heading up,” I say, knowing I need to get Erin alone, if only so I can check she’s not totally freaking out with all of this. “We’ll see you both in the morning,” I add, kissing them both on the cheek.

  They mumble their goodnights before returning to the couch to no doubt finish their crime show marathon. I usher Erin out of the room and toward the stairs. We start to head up, but after a couple of steps, Erin grabs my arm, silently stopping me.

  “You okay?” I ask, glancing down at her.

  “You’ve never brought a girl home before?” she whispers, staring back at me.

  I smile as I lean in and press a soft kiss to her lips. “Nope, never,” I say before kissing her again.

  She stares up at me, her eyes wide. I’m not sure if she’s trying to work out how to respond to that or she just doesn’t know what to say. The look on her face is a mix of fear and apprehension, with maybe a little bit of happiness in there too, as though she’s finally realizing how serious I am about us and about her. I shake my head a little, smiling at her as I brush a few strands of hair off her cheek, pull her close and kiss her again.

  I let Erin shower first and when I come back to my room, I find her looking around, taking everything in. Not much has changed from when I lived here, my mom preferring to leave our old rooms as they were and let us change them if and when we want to. She’s wearing an old t-shirt of mine that I haven’t seen in forever and I watch as she looks at the notice board above my desk, her eyes roaming over the photos and ticket stubs and other shit I have pinned up there.

  Smiling, I walk up behind her, slipping my arms around her waist and pulling her against me. “You know, you’re also the first girl who’s ever slept in this room,” I whisper, pressing my lips to the side of her neck.

  “Really?” she asks, surprised.

  “Uh huh,” I murmur, nibbling her skin as my hands now slide under the t-shirt and over her warm skin. “Come to bed, babe,” I say, lifting it up and over her head.

  Erin turns in my arms, her hands going to the towel around my waist and tugging it free. “You sure we should be doing this,” she whispers, lips against mine.

  I pull her body so it’s flush against me. “Oh yeah.”

  She smiles against my mouth. “You gonna be able to stay quiet?” she asks.

  I grin. “Are you?” I tease, knowing full well that neither of us is exactly quiet when it comes to fucking.

  “Guess we’ll find out,” she says, hands on my chest as she pushes me back toward the bed.

  I turn us just as we reach it so it’s Erin who falls backward, her naked body now sprawled back on the bed I grew up sleeping in, jacking off in and generally fantasizing about fucking whoever my latest crush was in. But as I stare down at her now, I realize all of that pales in comparison to her.

  “Fuck, you’re beautiful,” I whisper, hands on either side of her as I hover over her.

  Erin smiles up at me, a tiny blush on her cheeks as she widens her legs in invitation. I grin back at her, before licking my lips and lowering my head, kissing my way down her body until I reach her pussy.

  “Shit, Red,” I groan the second my mouth is on her.

  I see Erin’s hands grip the sheets as I start to lick and suck at her already wet pussy. The entire area is bare, only a thin strip of hair on top and I already feel like I could spend all night down here, licking and sucking and making her come a million times over.

  As I slowly start to increase the tempo, sliding a hand up her thigh so I can push two fingers inside her, I see one of Erin’s hands let go of the sheet. With my mouth over her clit, gently sucking, I look up and see she’s biting her arm, desperately trying to keep quiet.

  I can’t help but smile, not really caring if anyone hears us, but understanding why she would. I lower my eyes again as I continue sucking, slowly thrusting two fingers in and out of her. Erin’s whole body starts to tremble and I pick up one of her legs and hook it over my shoulder, pushing her thighs wide and opening her pussy up even more.

  I hear her gasp as she briefly lets go of her arm and I suck harder, pulling her now swollen clit into my mouth. “I wanna hear you come, baby,” I murmur.

  “Shhhh,” she bites out, her teeth locking on to her arm again.

  I increase the tempo, my fingers pushing faster and deeper as I suck harder and harder on her clit. Her legs are shaking now and just as I’m about to push a third finger inside her, I hear a muffled moan as Erin’s thighs squeeze against the sides of my head and she comes.

  When she’s finally quiet, her muscles all relaxed and still, I kiss my way up her body, sliding my now aching dick slowly inside her, a low groan falling from my mouth as I do. “You okay?” I ask.

  “Yes,” she whispers. “I’m good, really good…” her words are breathless and quiet and it makes me laugh. Nothing about our fucking is ever normally this quiet or reserved, because neither of us is shy when it comes to letting the other one know how we’re doing, or what we want, or where to touch. I like this though, the illicitness of this whole thing. The idea of fucking in my parents’ house without anyone knowing we’re doing it.

  “First girl I’ve ever fucked in this bed too,” I tell her, pressing a kiss to her lips. “I like how naughty it feels, fucking a woman in the bed I used to jack off in as a teenager. Kinda dirty too,” I say, laughing as she slaps a hand over my mouth now.

  “Shhhh, Ryan,” she says, her eyes finally opening. “You’ll wake everyone up.”

  I gently pull her hand from my mouth, pressing a kiss to her palm as I start to slowly thrust in and out of her. “I really love the loud and wild version of you, Red,” I say, kissing her again. “But I kinda love the naughty, quiet one too.” I lower my mouth to her ear as I whisper, “I love eating you out and fucking you and watching you try so hard to be quiet when I make you come. Turns me on, Red,” I say, giving her two hard quick thrusts. “More than you know.”

  “Fuck,” Erin says, shoving me off her. I fall onto my back, my grin getting even bigger as she sits up and straddles my hips. I watch as she lifts up, grabs my cock firmly in her hand and positions it at her entrance. Then, slapping her other hand over my mouth, she slowly lowers her body onto mine, inch by painful inch.

  My eyes roll back in my head as I try to stifle a groan, my teeth involuntarily biting her palm. It’s a cheeky move on her part, turning things around so it’s me who’s trying to be quiet now. But fuck me if I don’t love her even more for it.

  I force my eyes to open as I watch Erin slowly start to ride me, her gorgeous pale skin illuminated by the lamp on the side table. She looks fucking amazing, her beautiful tits, and her crazy red hair falling over her shoulders as she takes me like this. If her hand weren’t over my mouth right now, I’d be telling her I love her. But instead, I grab h
old of her hips; gently guiding her up and down as she slowly and quietly pushes me further and further to the brink of insanity.

  I watch her face as she rides me, every now and then flicking my eyes to my cock as it slides in and out of her pussy. I don’t think I will ever get tired of fucking this woman, or looking at the view when I do.

  I feel my balls start to tighten and before I can say anything, I come hard, groaning into her hand as I push my hips up off the bed, rising up to meet her as Erin pushes her body down on to mine. She lets out a low moan, before shoving the heel of her hand into her mouth. I smile as my eyes close and she collapses against me, both of us breathing hard.

  “My god,” I whisper, breathless as I wrap my arms around her body and pull her against me. Our skin is on fire, our hearts rapidly beating against each other as we both try to come down from that high. “God, I love you Erin Connelly,” I say, burying my face against her neck.

  Erin doesn’t say anything, doesn’t repeat the words back to me. And as much as I want to hear her say the words, I know, can tell from the way she presses her whole body against mine, that she feels the same way.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Erin

  I wake the next morning to the sound of people moving about in the kitchen; cabinets being opened and shut, water running, food cooking, and the sound of voices sometimes hushed and sometimes punctuated with laughter.

  I stretch my arms above my head and listen for a few minutes, the sounds reminding me that Ryan has a real family, a normal family; one where a hushed conversation isn’t because something illegal is being discussed but, rather out of respect for the people who are still sleeping.

  I hear Ryan’s voice boom over the other hushed voices and then I hear the laughter of a girl’s voice and a small smile tugs at my lips. Normalcy—this is what it feels like, and as I lay here I begin to wonder how I insert myself into something I know nothing about.

  How do I leave this room and join the conversation I’ve spent the last few minutes eavesdropping on? The whole idea scares me, and the thought of trying to interact naturally with Ryan’s family is a completely foreign concept.