Finding Home with You

by Claire Raye

  And when I do, he’s going to pay for what he did to her today.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Erin

  By the time the morning arrives I’m itching to get the hell out of the hospital and home to my own house. I’m dressed, my things are sitting on the bed, and I’m growing more and more annoyed that the doctor is taking his sweet time on rounds as I wait impatiently to be released.

  Luckily I had some clothes at Ryan’s house or I’d be leaving this hospital wearing a gown and some dirty underwear. The paramedics had to cut my sweatshirt off me while I was in the ambulance, and that rendered it pretty much useless. And after catching a whiff of my leggings and my winter coat, I wasn’t about to wear them smelling like airbag dust.

  Even though I’m ready to be home, I’m not leaving Boston without stopping at the prison. I’m not letting this whole thing slide by without letting my father know I’m done being fucked with.

  He’s the reason I’m sitting in this hospital with a broken arm, pissed off and ready to have it out with him.

  Eventually the doctor comes in, letting us know that I’m fine to go home, but that I need to take it easy for the next couple of days. He tells me I’m okay to go back to work too once my winter break is over. When I glance over at Ryan I can tell by the look on his face that he’s not so comfortable with this news.

  I raise my eyebrows at him, waiting for him to say what he’s thinking, and just like he always does, he voices his opinion; his bossy, sometimes sweet, but sometimes ridiculous, opinion on my life.

  “You sure, Doc?” Ryan says, not looking at me because he knows I’m rolling my eyes. “She teaches little kids. You sure she should be on her feet all day?”

  “Ryan,” I say, patting his chest with my hand, to settle him down, but also to tell him he’s being way too overprotective. “The kids are five, what can they possibly do?”

  He shakes his head. “Who knows,” he says, shrugging his shoulders and taking my hand in his. “But I’m not taking any chances.”

  The doctor laughs as he says, “It’s fine, Ryan, really. I do recommend that Erin take it easy for the next couple of days just because she’ll be sore given the accident. And that cast is going to have to be checked out to see if it’s ready to come off in six weeks, but other than that, you’re good to go.”

  “What about the baby?” Ryan asks, looking at the doctor for some support with his craziness.

  “What about it?” I ask him, smiling, but also holding back the fact that I want to roll my eyes. I should’ve known Ryan would be this way. All I can hope is we don’t have a girl because his level of protectiveness will be through the roof if we do.

  “Well…” he says stopping, and I can tell he’s trying to choose his words wisely. I have to stifle the laugh that I feel beginning, knowing he’s about to say something ridiculous. “You’re pregnant,” he says, as his face flushes, obviously aware of how stupid he sounds.

  I can’t hold back now, and I burst out laughing. “Women get pregnant all the time, Ryan, I’m not gonna break, you know.”

  Attempting to make Ryan feel less silly the doctor says, “She’s right. Erin is fine to work, Ryan. Right up until she gives birth if she wants. I would recommend some pre-natal vitamins and she get herself an OB for regular check-ups, but apart from that, life can go on as normal.”

  “See,” I say, nudging him with my shoulder and giving him a little smile. “It’s all good.”

  “Like normal, normal?” Ryan asks, glancing between the doctor and me, and this time it’s me who flushes bright red, and my laughing once again returns.

  “What my wonderful boyfriend is asking, Doc, is can we still have sex?”

  “Erin,” Ryan says, shaking his head at the directness of my question, but that is exactly what Ryan was getting at.

  The doctor smiles at Ryan and me. “Yes, sex is fine too,” he says, now looking only at Ryan. “As long as Erin is comfortable, there’s no reason why you can’t have sex right up until the baby is born if you want.”

  “See, Ryan. We’re all good,” I say, pushing up on my toes and giving him a quick kiss.

  I’m finally discharged, and I let out a sigh of relief as the doctor walks out of the room. I’m reaching for my purse and the plastic bag with my clothes just as Ryan snatches it out from under me.

  “I’ll carry this,” he says, smiling at me as he holds out his hand for me to take it. “I have the car waiting for us at the door. A perk of being a Boston detective,” he says, winking at me.

  It’s taking everything in me not to laugh out loud at him, but I know he’s just trying to show me he’s in this for the long haul, that he will do anything for me.

  Even before we reach the elevator, Ryan is huffing and shifting my purse from hand to hand.

  “Give me my purse,” I say, on an annoyed exhale.

  “No, I’m carrying it, but shit, Erin, you gotta dump some of the stuff you have in here. This fucker is heavy, and with you being pregnant I don’t think you should be carrying a bag this heavy.”

  “Oh my god, Ryan, you can’t be serious!” I practically yell as the elevator doors close. “In about eight months I’ll be carrying your six pound child around in my belly twenty-four seven. You gonna follow me around and hold up my belly?”

  “If I have to,” he says giving me a serious but playful look.

  “What am I going to do with you?” I respond rolling my eyes just as the elevator doors open.

  Ryan’s police-issued car is parked out front with the Boston PD placard resting on the dashboard, and as illegal as it probably is, I’m glad I don’t have to walk all the way to the parking garage. My body hurts like I’ve just run a fucking marathon. Who would’ve thought a car accident could make every muscle in your body ache?

  Ryan rushes to open the car door for me, and proceeds to help me into the car, but I hold up a hand as he tries to buckle my seat belt.

  “Enough, Ryan, please. I’m pregnant and I’ve had a minor car accident. I’m not dying.”

  “I wouldn’t call it a minor car accident,” he quips back. “Have you seen my car? That thing is a goner.”

  “Seriously?” I ask, shocked that there was that much damage. “Ryan, I’m so sorry. I had no idea that it was that bad.”

  “Don’t be sorry. It’s a car, Erin, and as long as you’re alright, it doesn’t matter. I have insurance.” He shrugs his shoulders and closes the car door.

  Climbing in beside me, he starts the car and we head back to the station to exchange cars.

  I have yet to spring it on him that we’re stopping at the prison, but I better do it soon, because I know he’s going to fight me on this one.

  We’ve exchanged the cars and as we are exiting the parking lot I drop the bomb on him.

  “We have to make another stop,” I say, not looking at him, but my hand is stroking the back of his neck.

  “Where?” he asks and I can hear the reservation in his voice.

  “The prison. I need to go see my dad.”

  “No,” is all he says, like that will end the conversation.

  “Yes, Ryan,” I assert back.

  “No, Erin. You’ve had enough stress with Anthony and the car accident and now the baby. Besides, you can’t just show up there unannounced.”

  “They know I’m coming.” And that’s when he falls silent. “I have to take care of this,” I say, trying to help him understand. “He needs to know what happened because he’s the only one who can stop it from happening again.”

  “He’s not the kind of person who understands or cares, Erin,” Ryan states harshly, and even though I have no relationship with my father it still stings. I guess a part of me still holds onto that false hope that he’ll do something right for once.

  “He’s still my father,” is all I can say back.

  We pull into the parking lot of the prison a short while later and unlike my first time visiting, I don’t f
eel nervous. This time I’m filled with rage, and the more I think about Anthony disrupting my life, showing up at my house, threatening me and then trying to kill me, the more I’m ready to have it out with my dad.

  Ryan and I are in the waiting room, and my leg is moving on its own accord, bouncing quickly up and down as I let out a few impatient huffs.

  “Take it easy, babe,” Ryan soothes, his voice calm and quiet. “Do you want me to come with you?” he asks, even though he knows the answer.

  I told him in the car this was something I needed to do alone, and that having him with me would make it seem like it was an interrogation. Right now, he’s here as my boyfriend and not a detective, but I’m not certain my father would see it that way.

  I’m called back and I leave, quickly kissing Ryan and telling him to wish me luck. He says nothing, only giving me a worried look and for a second, I wonder if I’m doing the right thing.

  This time around my father is already in the room when I enter. He’s sitting at the table with his hands folded and resting on the tabletop. He’s wearing the same prison uniform as last time, but he looks better than the last time I saw him. His hair is newly cut and dyed, and he is freshly shaven, and I wonder if he’s been to court recently, but I don’t dare ask. It would give the perception that I’m interested in his life.

  “Erin,” he says as I sit down, but it’s anything but friendly. While he may look different, his demeanor and attitude have not changed. “What do you want?”

  “You need to call off Anthony,” I respond cutting to chase. No reason for pleasantries.

  He lets out a long exhale and annoyingly says, “I told you before. I’m out. I’ve got nothing to do with Anthony.” He cocks an eyebrow at me, and it pisses me off. It’s like he’s just waiting for me to start yelling at him for being a liar. Like he wants me to challenge him.

  “You’re full of shit. He showed up at my house yesterday. He threatened me. He threatened my boyfriend,” I say, my voice rising to a near yell. “Don’t fucking sit there and act like you have no idea what I’m talking about!” I shove back from the table, the chair scraping loudly in the quiet cement-walled room. “He tried to kill me, Dad!” I yell, this time tears prick the corners of my eyes.

  “What?” he says, his head whipping up to look at me.

  I hold up my arm, flashing him my cast along with a look of complete hatred. My teeth are clenched as I hiss, “He cut the brake line on Ryan’s car and I was driving it. I could’ve been killed. My baby could’ve been killed. I’m fucking pregnant!”

  He’s silent, but his eyes are focused on mine. I watch him swallow hard, but he still doesn’t say anything.

  “If you had anything to do with this, so help me god, I will make sure you never see the light of day again,” I threaten when he fails to speak after several seconds. “Don’t forget you involved me in this shit, and now I have to testify at your trial.”

  “Listen Erin, first thing, I had nothing to do with this. Second, don’t you dare threaten me; I’m your father…”

  I cut him off fast, “Then fucking act like it!” I scream, my anger radiating from me, as my body grows hot and my finger points directly at my father. “Make this stop!” I feel the tears fall down my cheeks hot and wet, and swipe at them.

  The room falls silent once again, and that’s where the conversation ends. I buzz for the guard, and leave my father sitting at the table. Neither one of us speaks, and all I can hope is that his silence means he’s finally heard me.

  When we finally pull into my driveway, I’m exhausted emotionally and physically, but grateful to be home. Before entering the house, Ryan does a sweep of the inside and the outside, and while I think he’s overreacting, it does make me feel safer.

  I flop down on the couch and flip on the TV just as Ryan walks back into the room with a bottle of water for me and a beer for himself. He slides in next to me and places a kiss on my temple.

  “I gotta get back to Boston tomorrow morning, but I’m gonna stay tonight,” he says. “I’ve got a guy who’s gonna come when I leave. Keep watch on your house.” He says this all sort of mindlessly, like he’s planned it out and there’s no arguing with him about it.

  “You don’t need to send someone out. “I’ll just call Finn,” I tell him just as casually, but his response back is anything but casual.

  “The hell you will. Look what happened when Finn was supposedly watching out for you.” I can hear the anger in his voice now and I’m taken aback by it. None of this is Finn’s fault yet Ryan seems to want to blame him.

  “You can’t blame this on Finn. If you want to be mad at someone be mad at Anthony or my dad or hell, even me, but not Finn. He has nothing to do with this,” I say, now standing in front of Ryan, my hands on my hips.

  “Fuck Finn. He should’ve been here!” Ryan shouts, his hands now gripping my hips. “My need to protect you is overwhelming and now the baby…” he stops short and runs his hand through his hair, and with his other hand still on my hip, he pulls me closer.

  Lifting my shirt, he kisses the center of my stomach gently, but his fingers tighten their grip, slipping into the waistband of my jeans.

  Pulling me down so I’m straddling his hips, he begins to suck at my neck, biting and kissing as he moves. Every time his lips touch my skin a shudder runs through my body, and I grow needy for his touch.

  Pushing my shirt up until my bra is exposed, he pulls the cups down, and groans in appreciation when my breasts are bared to him. Taking my nipple in his warm mouth, I cry out as his teeth graze my sensitive flesh.

  “Fuck, your body is so responsive now,” he says, his voice gruff and sexy. “It turns me on so fucking bad.”

  “Me too,” I moan out as he sucks harder on my nipple making my hips move and my legs clench. I reach down and slide my hand into the front of his pants, finding his hard, thick cock ready. I pull my hand from his pants, waiting for Ryan to make the next move as I lie down on the couch.

  He immediately removes my pants and pulls my body so I’m now closer to him, my legs spread wide as he hooks his thumbs in my panties and slides them down my legs.

  Settling himself in between my legs, he runs his finger through my wetness and stops to circle my clit.

  “Fuck, Red,” he says, his voice a growl. “You’re so fucking wet and your clit is already so swollen.” The tip of his tongue flicks against it and I moan loudly, feeling like I could come with just a few more touches. “How about I see how many times I can make you come and then I bend you over this couch and take you from behind?” he asks, winking at me. “Nice and gentle…”

  “No, not gentle,” I beg, my voice greedy as I tangle my hands in his hair, but Ryan wags a finger at me as if to say I need to take it easy. And then I watch as Ryan buries his face in my pussy.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Ryan

  “So, you’re looking pretty pleased with yourself,” Erin says, propping her chin up on my chest.

  We’re lying on the couch together, Erin is on top of me and both of us are naked, tangled together after I made her come a couple of times with my mouth before slowly and carefully fucking her.

  I grin down at her. “Maybe,” I say, tucking both hands behind my head.

  Erin slides higher, looking at me questioningly. “Care to explain?” she asks.

  I shrug as though it’s no big deal. “Just thinking about how amazing I am, that’s all,” I say, winking at her.

  Erin laughs. “What? Because you gave me a couple of orgasms?”

  “Well,” I say, my grin widening, as Erin shakes her head at me. “But no,” I continue, untucking a hand and running it down her spine to her ass. “More because I got you knocked up,” I add, squeezing her ass cheek.

  “What?” she says again, giving me a playful slap on the chest.

  I lean up, press a hard kiss to her mouth. “Well clearly my boys are potent,” I say. “I mean you were on the pill, but even t
hat couldn’t stop them.”

  “Oh my god, Ryan,” Erin says, rolling her eyes. “Clearly I must have missed taking it a morning or two,” she says. “But if you want to go on thinking this was all due to your magical cock and your champion sperm, then do what you gotta do.”

  Reaching down with my other hand, I grab both ass cheeks now and haul her up my body. “I think we both know that’s exactly what happened here, Red,” I say, kissing her hard.

  “Sure, sure,” she says, rolling her eyes again. “I’ll let you think that if you’ll concede that since I was strong enough to have sex with you just now, you don’t need to keep up this whole protective-because-I’m-fragile-as-glass bullshit you’ve got going on.”

  I slide my hands up her back, wrapping them around her as I hold her tightly against me. “I meant what I said, Erin,” I say, my voice serious now. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you, or to our baby. I will protect you. From everything,” I add. “And if that means I get a little controlling and over the top, then so be it. I’m not going to apologize for wanting to take care of you both.”

  Erin rolls her eyes again, even as a small smile tugs at the corner of her mouth. Resting her good arm across my chest, she lowers her chin to it, her eyes locked onto mine.

  “You sure you want this?” she asks, her voice quiet.

  “The baby?”

  “The baby, me, all of it,” she says.

  “Erin,” I say, tightening my arms. “Yes, I absolutely want this.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “Positive,” I say, smiling at her. “I’ve never wanted something more.”

  “But how do we make it work,” she says, swallowing hard. “The distance, the commute…?” She trails off and I can hear all the things she isn’t saying.

  Anthony.

  Her father.

  “We’ll find a way, babe. I promise,” I tell her. “I want this. I want you and I want our baby, more than anything in the world. And I’m not going to let anything or anyone take that away from me.”