Imperfect Truth

by C. A. Popovich

  Debby slid into the backseat next to Alex, surprised by the desire to put her arm around her. She remained silent for the trip, despite the many questions hanging between them, and let Kristen and Jaylin carry the conversation.

  *

  They pulled into the church parking lot twenty minutes early. The trip had been uneventful, and Alex had felt comfortable with the light conversation with Jaylin. She had often turned to address Alex in the backseat and pointed out interesting facts about areas as they passed them. She worried about what Debby’s silence meant. They had texted throughout the week, and she seemed to accept her explanation about leaving the fairgrounds in such a hurry, but something still felt off.

  “This is a nice little church,” Kristen said. She and Jaylin walked hand-in-hand ahead of them.

  “It is. I’ve only been here once with Maria, for a choir event. She has a beautiful singing voice.” Jaylin stopped and pointed to the other side of the parking lot. “And the view of the river is great. It’s peaceful here.”

  Alex followed Kristen and Jaylin into the small entryway, aware of Debby close behind her. Her back still held the feel of her warm hand when they were at Kristen’s, and she fought the urge to stop so she would press up against her.

  “Welcome. I’m Girard Wright, pastor of this lovely little church.” Pastor Wright stood at the entryway to the sanctuary where people were filling the pews. He introduced himself and shook everyone’s hand as they entered. “I’m thrilled to see such a wonderful turnout for our dear Maria’s wedding.”

  Alex sat next to Debby on the end of a row toward the back of the room.

  “Have you ever been to this side of the state, Alex?” Jaylin had to lean across Kristen and Debby to see her.

  “No, I haven’t, but I like it so far. I love being by the water.” It isn’t the Gulf of Mexico, but it’s water.

  The organist began playing softly, and Alex relaxed back into her seat. She recognized the hymn from the Sundays spent sitting in church with her mother. She and Jennifer would take their mother as often as they could, until she became too difficult to handle, and her father had to join them. Those were some of the best memories she was supposed to forget. The four of them together, acting like a normal family at worship. She sighed and concentrated on the people streaming into the room.

  A tall, elegant woman with an engaging smile and deep auburn hair with gray highlights caught her eye and nodded before moving to the pastor’s side and pecking a kiss on his cheek. She stepped away and sat down in the front pew.

  A stately couple made their way to the front arm in arm. It looked as if the man leaned slightly on the woman despite the cane in his left hand. They slid onto the pew across the aisle from the auburn-haired woman, after exchanging smiles and a few words.

  Alex presumed these were the parents of the brides. She shifted on the hard wooden seat, enjoying the music and the feel of Debby sitting next to her.

  The room hushed as Pastor Wright proceeded to the podium. He stood quietly with bowed head for a moment before looking up to speak. “Before we begin the ceremony this afternoon, I’d like to thank all of you for being here today. Maria came to me over a year ago, searching.” He paused and looked over the crowd. “She wasn’t searching for faith; she brought that with her. She was searching for a church that understood that love was love. That God’s love is inclusive, not exclusive, and not judgmental. She was looking for a church home for her music ministry, and I feel blessed that she chose our little house of worship. It’s my privilege to now introduce to you our soon-to-be-wed couple, Maria Spencer and Dana Langdon.”

  The couple walked toward the altar hand in hand, beaming. The older couple stood and the elderly man shuffled to stand beside Maria, the older woman moved to her other side. Maria’s parents, Alex assumed.

  Pastor Wright began the ceremony.

  “Maria Spencer, do you take Dana Langdon to be your lawfully wedded spouse forever?”

  “I do.” Maria glowed in her cream colored satin gown. Her dark hair was pinned away from her face, and she wore a string of pearls around her neck, with matching earrings. Her smile lit up the room as she placed a gold band on Dana’s left ring finger.

  “And do you, Dana Langdon, take Maria Spencer to be your lawfully wedded spouse forever?”

  “I do.” Dana looked relaxed in her custom tailored black tuxedo, silver earrings, and a huge grin as she placed a matching band on Maria’s left ring finger.

  “I now pronounce you legally married. May God’s love live forever in your hearts and reflect your love for each other.”

  Dana and Maria kissed and whispered something to each other before turning to the crowd, smiling and holding hands as they walked to the back of the church to the enormous applause and cheers of their friends and family. As they’d wished, it was standing room only.

  Alex followed Debby out of the building to where Dana and Maria stood with their parents, greeting people as they passed. She’d thought Kristen and Jaylin made a striking couple, but Maria’s dark eyes and hair were in direct contrast to Dana’s strawberry blond hair and blue eyes. They complemented each other beautifully, and Alex pushed aside her twinge of envy.

  She felt the warmth of Debby’s hand throughout her body when she rested it on the small of her back as they followed the line of well-wishers toward the newlyweds.

  “Congratulations, you two. Dana, I think you’ve already met my friend Debby, and this is her friend Alex.” Debby moved a step away as Kristen spoke, and a chill settled where her hand had been.

  “We’re so glad you could be here to share our day.” Dana smiled and pulled Maria close to her side.

  “It’s great to meet you both. Congratulations,” Alex said.

  “We look forward to talking to you later at the reception.” Maria kissed Debby’s cheek, then Alex’s.

  “We’ll see you there.” Debby took her hand, and they followed Kristen and Jaylin to the car.

  Alex lost herself for a moment in the natural feel of their fingers intertwined. Friends can hold hands.

  Chapter Twelve

  “Wow. This is nice.” Debby took in the gigantic swan ice sculpture set on a round table in the middle of the room. Huge shrimp, cocktail sauce, various cheeses, crackers, and bowls of nuts nestled in beds of lettuce and kale around the ice carving. A few early arrivals stood talking and sampling the appetizers.

  “It sure is. Let’s grab a seat and check it all out.” Kristen tugged on Jaylin’s hand and led her to one of the round tables, where they set down their coats and bags.

  Debby pulled out a chair for Alex and settled into the one next to her. “Can I get you a plate of hors d’oeuvres?”

  “I’d like to go see what’s there myself.” Alex stood and reached for her hand.

  Debby hesitated before taking it and strolling to the giant ice swan. She couldn’t deny it felt right holding Alex’s hand, but she would need to make sure their boundaries were clear. They were there to keep each other company. Nothing more. But friends hold hands sometimes, right? She couldn’t remember ever doing so with Kristen or Kelly, but maybe different friendships meant doing different things. She tried to concentrate.

  The tables in the dining area of the hall were covered with white tablecloths and pale blue cloth napkins, a fresh flower centerpiece, and two bottles of sparkling grape juice. The chairs had white cloth coverings over the backs, embroidered with matching intertwined wedding bands in the same blue as the napkins. There was an uncarpeted space Debby figured was large enough for a band and dance floor taking up half of the room. She hoped that whatever music they’d chosen would be good. She looked forward to moving across the dance floor with Alex. They returned to the table to wait for Kristen and Jaylin.

  “This is great. Thanks for inviting me.” Alex popped a piece of cheese into her mouth.

  “I’m glad you could join me. I’d have felt awkward being here alone. I don’t know anyone but you, Kristen, and Jaylin. I met Dana in
July, so I don’t really know her.” Debby filled two glasses with grape juice and set one in front of Alex.

  “Thanks. Where’d Kristen and Jaylin go?” Alex tasted her juice and looked past her, across the room. “Oh, here they come.”

  Debby wondered if Alex was uncomfortable being alone with her, and felt the faintest hint of disappointment. Friend. Meeting other friends. Get over yourself.

  Kristen plunked into her chair and set a plate heaped with shrimp and cheese in front of her.

  “You know there’ll probably be a dinner, don’t you?” Debby grinned as Kristen ignored her and picked up a shrimp.

  Debby turned to Alex, determined to learn more about her. “Do you like to dance?” she asked.

  “I love to dance. I hope we get to later.”

  “Good. Me, too.” She likes to dance. Number four on my list.

  Debby’s interrogation was interrupted by the entrance of the wedding party. Dana and Maria made their way through the room, stopping to greet each table and introduce their parents.

  “We’re glad you and Alex could make it to our celebration, Debby.” Dana glowed as she embraced her new spouse.

  “Congratulations again, both of you,” Alex said.

  “Thank you. You two have a good time. We’ve got a great DJ for tonight.” Maria chuckled as Dana pulled her away toward the next table to continue their greeting chain.

  “Would you pass the water pitcher, please?” Alex asked.

  Debby began filling her glass until Alex rested her hand gently on her arm. “No ice.”

  “Yeah. Me, too.” We both like water with no ice.

  “So, Kelly wasn’t invited, huh?” Alex swallowed a drink of water.

  “No. Kelly’s a long-time friend of Kristen’s, but I don’t think Dana and Maria have ever met her.”

  “But she’s your friend, too, right?” Alex furrowed her brow when she asked.

  “Right.” Debby wondered if Alex thought there was more to their relationship than friendship, and why it bothered her if she did.

  They finished their meal and waited for the DJ.

  *

  “Whew. Is it warm in here, or is it the dancing?” Alex removed her blazer and hung it over the back of her chair. She watched Debby do the same, stirred again by the sparkle in her eyes as she turned toward her.

  “I think it’s the dancing, but it’s pretty warm for September. Let’s sit for a while,” Debby said.

  They both took a long drink of water, and she watched Debby’s tongue catch a drop off her lip. She lost herself for a moment in the fantasy of kissing her and feeling the caress of that tongue. “I’m glad the summer’s sticking around this year. I don’t look forward to the snow coming.” She fought to concentrate on their conversation.

  “Well, I’m glad it hasn’t been too hot this summer. You like hot weather, don’t you?” Debby turned in her chair and rested her arm on the back while holding her glass on the table. She looked laid-back and sexy.

  “I do.” Alex rested her elbow on the table and her chin on her hand as she watched Dana and Jaylin dance. She was enjoying herself more than she had since she had been relocated, and she liked it. She savored her contentment at being out with friends and being the focus of Debby’s attention. She shoved away fears of Martinez and drug lords and concentrated on Debby. As long as Debby stopped asking questions, she could stay relaxed. “The only way I’d ever enjoy a ski trip would be if I could stay inside by the fireplace with a book.”

  Debby laughed. “I agree with you. I’m not a skier, but I love a good book and a fireplace.” She turned in her chair and arched her back.

  “Shall we walk around a little? Will that help your back?” Just as Alex asked, the DJ started a slow song.

  “I have a better idea. Let’s dance.” Debby stood and held out her hand.

  Alex smiled up at her. “I like that idea.”

  When Alex stepped into Debby’s arms, her uncertainties fled, but her heart beat like a frightened bird. How could something dangerous feel so safe? Her head knew that it wasn’t fair to either of them to let their relationship evolve into anything besides friendship, even if her heart resisted it.

  Debby must have felt her hesitancy because she pushed away, holding her at arm’s length. “You okay? We can sit out the slow songs if you’re more comfortable.”

  “No.” I can do this. “Let’s dance.”

  Alex eased into Debby’s embrace and concentrated on the dance steps to distract herself from the feel of her warm hand on the small of her back. She eased closer as they moved in perfect time to the music, smoothly rotating around the dance floor between the other couples. She barely noticed when the melody changed and Debby drew her tightly to her body. She floated in pleasure at the feel of her breasts pressed against Debby’s. The music ended, and Alex wrenched herself back to reality.

  “Thank you,” she whispered. She knew it meant more than Debby could possibly understand. Her uncertainties and reservations had fled while she was wrapped in the security of Debby’s arms, and for a moment, she had felt free.

  *

  Debby shivered as a chill settled where Alex’s body had been nestled against hers. She followed her back to their table where Kristen sat with her arm around Jaylin. Happiness for her friend warred with frustration. Why, so many years ago, had she chosen a woman who couldn’t be honest with her? She could have been sitting with a lover’s arm around her, enjoying that connection, instead of demanding that anyone she got close to satisfy conditions of a list she’d written to determine whether or not someone was worthy of being in her life. And how was it that Alex had met so many requirements on her list, but she knew so little about who she was or where she came from? That had to change. “Anyone want anything from the bar?” she asked.

  “I’ll take a club soda with lime,” Kristen said.

  “That sounds good,” Jaylin and Alex said at the same time.

  “Okay. Four club sodas for the heavy drinking table.”

  Debby returned with the drinks and settled next to Alex. “Are you having a good time?”

  “I am. Thanks for inviting me.”

  “I’m glad you could make it.” Debby poked her lime wedge with her straw, pushing it to the bottom of her glass.

  She likes to read and isn’t a heavy drinker. Numbers nine and ten. What else can I find out? “Have you been to many lesbian events?”

  “Not too many.” Alex took her lime wedge out and squeezed it into her glass.

  The DJ played a popular song and Kristen and Jaylin got up to dance.

  “How’s your dad doing?” Debby hoped Alex would explain further about her father and family situation.

  “He’s good. I’m hoping he’ll come over for dinner one night this week. I’d love for you to meet him, if you’re available.”

  Maybe I’m getting somewhere. “I’d like that. Let me know when. Does he live close by?”

  “Not far. He’s in Plymouth.”

  “I like Plymouth. They have a great ice sculpture festival every year. Is that where you grew up?”

  “No. I didn’t live there long, but he likes it. How about more dancing?” Alex stood and held out her hand.

  Debby took it and put the rest of her questions on hold, wondering if that was Alex’s intention. Another two songs, and they went back to their table, breathing heavily and laughing.

  “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m pooped. I haven’t danced that much in years.” Jaylin pushed her chair next to Kristen’s to lean on her.

  “I’m with you, Jaylin. My daily walks with my dog aren’t quite enough to condition me for a night of dancing.” Alex took a swallow of water and leaned her elbows on the table.

  “Everybody ready to leave then?” Kristen asked. She rubbed Jaylin’s back with one hand as she spoke.

  Debby stood abruptly. She’d had enough of this lovey-dovey stuff, and she needed to put a stop to the desire to pull Alex to her, run her hands over her body, and see just h
ow soft her lips were. “Yeah. Let’s get out of here.”

  *

  “Thanks for a wonderful day.” Alex took Debby’s hand and squeezed it as they walked to her door.

  “I enjoyed it, too. I was a little worried that I was crashing their wedding, but everyone was great. I doubt they even noticed, with the amount of people there. Are we still on for the state fair tomorrow?” Debby turned to face her but didn’t release her hand.

  “Sure. Shall I meet you there?”

  “Unless you’d like to stop by my place first. I believe I owe you a meal. I make a pretty good omelet.”

  Alex considered the wisdom of spending more private time with Debby. They got along great, and she liked her. A little too much, she feared. She let go of her hand and unlocked her door. “I think I’ll pass on the omelet. How ’bout if I meet you there at eleven?” She winced at the fleeting look of disappointment on Debby’s face.

  “Sure. Eleven it is. Good night, Alex.” Debby turned and left without another word.

  Abby’s usual exuberant greeting did little to lift her threatening pall. She walked her before returning to her apartment and dropping onto her bed. Abby jumped to lie next to her so she rested her hand on her back, taking comfort in the warmth. Debby had asked questions she couldn’t answer truthfully, and she was tired of avoiding questions. She was tired of feeling like an imposter, but no solution materialized in her whirling thoughts. The one thing she knew for sure was that she was going to have to keep her attraction and growing feelings for Debby to herself. Yet another pretense.

  She’d met several potential new friends to whom she’d never be able to be close. How long could friendships survive based on superficiality? And a lover would certainly need to know more about her than her favorite foods or that she liked to dance. She flopped to her side in frustration and let the tears fall.

  Chapter Thirteen