TRUTH

by Sherri Hayes

  She shook her head. “No.”

  “Why where you crying?”

  “I was . . . I don’t know,” she whispered.

  Turning her around in my arms so I could see her face, I tilted her chin up so I could look in her eyes. “Yes, you do. What was going through that head of yours?”

  “Jamie.”

  “My assistant? What about her?”

  Brianna pressed her lips together for a long moment. “She’s pretty.”

  I tilted my head to the side and appraised her. “Yes. Jamie is attractive. What does that . . .”

  I paused, and she looked down. Was she really jealous?

  For several minutes, I watched her and tried to digest the information she’d just hit me with. Never in a million years would it have crossed my mind that Brianna would be jealous of Jamie, but it did explain the difference in Brianna’s reaction to Jamie from when we’d arrived to when we’d left.

  Cupping her face with my hand, I massaged her cheek with my thumb. “Brianna, you never have to be jealous when it comes to other women. I promise you that. I . . .” The words died in my throat. She wasn’t ready. “I care about you. A lot. I said once that I’d be here until you ordered me away, and I meant it. I’m not going anywhere. Not unless it’s what you want.”

  She looked up, tears in her eyes again. This time, however, I knew they weren’t because of distress.

  Leaning down, I captured her lips with mine, sucking first her bottom lip, then her top into my mouth. It was a slow kiss, one meant to show her the depth of my feelings. When we finally broke apart, I brushed the remaining moisture from her cheeks and smiled. She smiled back.

  For the next hour, we sat on the blanket, ate the rest of our cheeseburgers, and people watched. By the time we walked over to the water, she was much calmer than she’d been when we’d entered the park. Brianna was amazing, and she constantly made me so proud of her I could barely contain it. She was brave beyond what any person should have to be. It made my love for her increase with every passing day. I couldn’t imagine my life without her.

  She was bracketed by my arms as we stood in front of the railing, looking out at the river. Although I couldn’t see her face very well from this angle, I could tell she was smiling. A warmth grew in my chest at seeing her so happy. I felt like I was floating, and I didn’t want to come down, ever.

  As I rested my chin on top of Brianna’s head, completely content, the sound of laughter nearby drew my attention. Some thirty or so feet away was a group of four playing Frisbee—two guys and two girls. They didn’t look much older than Brianna, and I wondered if, had it not been for what had happened, that could have been her playing out in the sun on a spring day with her friends, not seeming to have a care in the world beyond catching the Frisbee being tossed their way.

  Like a cold slap in the face, my conversation with Oscar replayed in my head. I wasn’t willing to let Ian get away with what he did to Brianna. One way or another, he was going to pay for breaking this beautiful woman. The chances of that happening and me not being pulled into the fray were next to impossible. I’d written a large check to him recently for something I couldn’t easily explain. Although I had every confidence in my lawyer, there was no telling what would happen, especially once the press got involved. There would be lots of questions and not many answers.

  There was also the matter of her father. The man ranked right up there with Ian and Karl in my book. Actually, he was worse. Any man who would sit back and allow his daughter to be taken . . . just the thought had me wanting to punch something.

  I tightened my hold on Brianna, letting her warmth seep into me. Taking a deep breath, her scent filled my nostrils, and the tension in my muscles eased.

  All three of them needed to be strung up and beaten for what they’d done to her. Ian was no longer a part of her life, and I was working to help her deal with all that he’d done. I hoped that one day she’d be able to completely put that part of her life behind her, although I was sure she’d never be able to entirely forget.

  Karl’s influence had been less, but his actions certainly hadn’t helped how she viewed people in general. Her uncertainty of people and the world around her had only increased.

  Her father, however, was different. Nothing I could do would make him any less than what he was. I could try to protect her, keep her away from him, but I had no idea if that would be enough. I had to hope that it would, for her sake.

  With that thought, I pulled her back against my chest and placed a kiss on her cheek. “It’s time to go.”

  Brianna

  The park was nice once I relaxed. I didn’t like being around people. Stephan said I had to get used to it, and I did understand, sort of, but it was still hard. I don’t think I could’ve done it if he hadn’t been there.

  After the park, he drove us across town to get ice cream. “I’d like one scoop of each of these in a large bowl with two spoons, please.”

  “You want a scoop of each of these, sir?” The woman behind the counter asked, pointing to the large case in front of her. I didn’t blame her for asking, because there were at least thirty different types of ice cream.

  “Yes. Is that a problem?”

  “No. Not at all. That’s just a lot of ice cream for one person, or even two,” she said, looking over at me.

  “I think we’ll manage.” Stephan looked down and kissed me. He squeezed my hand and smiled as he turned back to the lady behind the counter.

  We waited for several minutes while the woman scooped out the ice cream and placed it in a large bowl. With each scoop, my eyes opened wider. No wonder she’d asked for clarification. By the time she was finished, the bowl, which was the size of a large mixing bowl I sometimes used to cook, was heaped with all different colors of ice cream. I had no idea how Stephan and I were going to eat all of that, but I didn’t question him.

  After paying for the ice cream, he guided me over to a small table along the wall. He set the bowl down on the table between us and handed me one of the spoons. “Go ahead,” he encouraged.

  One at a time, I tasted each of the different flavors of ice cream. I liked most of them. There were two, however, I had no desire to try again—coffee and key lime. Both had me scrunching up my nose in distaste as I tried to force the bite I’d taken down my throat.

  Stephan chuckled at the faces I made, which eventually caused me to giggle as well. Some people looked at us, and it made me slightly uncomfortable but not enough for me not to enjoy the moment with him. He didn’t have to do this for me. He didn’t have to do anything for me.

  That night, as we sat in his chair after a light dinner, I began to wonder what I could do to thank him for all that he’d done for me. I knew that he would appreciate a simple thank you, and I could do that, too, but I also knew what he ultimately wanted from me—to be his submissive. Although we had talked about it some before, I knew he had to want more than what I was currently giving him. The idea still terrified me, but I would do it for him.

  “Sir?”

  “Yes, Brianna?” he asked, stroking my hair.

  I paused, thinking of the best way to approach this. Then I remembered the ropes. The ropes he’d used to tie John. The ropes he’d gotten from the drawer in his bedroom. The fact that they were there had to mean something, right? Why would he have them if he didn’t use them? And why in his bedroom?

  He reached out and caressed the side of my face with his fingers, tilting my chin up, making me look at him. I must have taken too long to gather my thoughts. Pressing my lips together, I gathered my courage. “I was wondering . . . I was wondering about the ropes.”

  “What about them?”

  Stephan continued to massage my cheek with his thumb. It was distracting, but I tried to stay focused, to remember what I needed to say and why. “Do you . . . why are they there? In your bedroom?”

  With my question, he smiled. “They’re there for me to use.”

  I closed my eyes. They were there
for him to use, but how? Why?

  Even as the question floated in my head, I already knew the answer. He’d never hidden what he was from me. He’d never tried to be something he wasn’t. I’d been tied up before, and I’d watched other people be tied up. Was that something he wanted to do to me?

  “Do you have another question for me, Brianna?”

  I opened my eyes, but I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. “Do you want to use them . . . on me?”

  His hand stopped moving, and I tensed. Had I asked the wrong question?

  “Look at me.”

  Slowly, I raised my head to look at him. What I saw caused me to release the breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. There was no tension in his features, no anger, no disappointment. The look in his eyes was one of gentleness. It was a look I’d seen from him many times.

  Stephan cupped my face with both of his hands, running his thumbs along my cheeks. “Yes.” He paused and cleared his throat. “Yes, I’d like to use them on you. Is that something you’d be willing to try?”

  I nodded and started to look down. He stopped the movement by tightening his hold on my face.

  “Keep your eyes on me, and I want to hear you say it.”

  Swallowing, I looked into his eyes. What I saw only confirmed what I already knew. I’d do anything for him. Be anything he needed me to be. “Yes. I’m . . . I’d like to try.”

  He smiled and kissed me. It was hard at first, and I could feel his excitement growing. I grasped the front of his shirt. No matter what happened, I knew above all else that I trusted him. He wouldn’t hurt me. And as long as he was there by my side, I knew I could do whatever he asked of me.

  Chapter 10

  Brianna

  On Sunday morning after our workout, Stephan had me take a shower in his bathroom while he made some calls. After our conversation on Friday night, I’d been waiting for him to pull out the ropes and use them on me, but so far . . . nothing. I tried not to think about it, but I couldn’t help my nerves. Would he just take me into his room one day and tie me to his bed? I didn’t know.

  Pushing the thoughts to the back of my mind, I grabbed the shower gel and began washing my body with the large sponge Stephan had bought for me. As I washed the sweat from our workout from my body, I tried to prepare myself for the day. We were going to his aunt and uncle’s house for dinner. Stephan said his uncle had promised to be on his best behavior, but I was still anxious.

  Stephan had given me some rules to follow for the day. I wasn’t to look down for more than five seconds at a time. I was also to ask both his aunt and uncle one question each. He clarified that it couldn’t be the same question for both either. I had no idea what I wanted to ask them, but I hoped I could come up with something. The last and most important rule, he’d said, was that if at any time I was in a situation where I felt threatened or reached a five or higher, I was to squeeze his hand twice.

  When I finished my shower, Stephan was in his bedroom waiting on me. He’d removed the shirt, shoes, and socks he’d worn during our workout and stood at the end of his bed in only his shorts. I waited, not moving, watching him, and remembering what he’d felt like the night before, when he’d had me climb on top of him and run my hands up and down his chest while he played with my breasts. I was becoming more comfortable with sex and touching him in different ways. I wasn’t scared he was going to get upset anymore.

  A smile slowly spread across Stephan’s face, and I realized I was staring. I looked down, averting my gaze and feeling self-conscious for some reason.

  He laughed.

  Before I knew it, he was there in front of me, lifting my chin. “Don’t be shy, sweetheart. You can ogle my body all you want. I don’t mind.”

  I didn’t respond.

  Stephan leaned down and brushed his mouth against mine before using his tongue to trace the outline of my lips. Then, to my great disappointment, he was gone.

  I opened my eyes to find him looking down at me, smiling. “I laid the clothes I want you to wear on the bed. I’m going to take my shower. Be ready by the time I get out.”

  Without another word, he walked into the bathroom, leaving me standing there.

  I didn’t move until I heard the shower turn on in the other room. It was enough to wake me from whatever trance I was in, and I went to see what clothes he’d picked out for me.

  Stephan didn’t often choose the clothes I was to wear—he’d only done it twice before—but I didn’t mind. Although he did tend to pick skirts instead of the pants I favored, I was learning that skirts and dresses weren’t so bad. Not when Stephan was around anyway.

  The outfit he’d chosen for me was a lot like the one I’d worn on Friday to his office, except instead of a skirt and top, it was a dress. It was dark green and had a skirt that flared out a little. It was pretty.

  Beside the dress was a matching bra and panty set, also a dark green color. I reached out and ran my fingers along the edge of the lace and silk before putting them on. They felt nice and soft against my skin.

  The dress was next and then a pair of nude thigh-high stockings with lace around the tops. I was just slipping into the tan heels he’d selected when he strolled out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. He stopped and stared, looking me over from head to toe. I felt warm under his gaze, and I instinctively looked down.

  His bare feet come into view and then disappeared as he moved behind me. He wrapped his arms around my waist. I jumped a little, and he chuckled, burying his face in my neck. “You look beautiful,” he whispered.

  “Thank you.”

  He trailed his hands down my dress and then gathered the hem until he was touching skin. My breathing began to accelerate as I waited to see what he’d do next. When he reached the top of my leg, he stopped.

  “What are you thinking, Brianna?”

  It took me a moment to register what he’d asked and that he was waiting for me to answer. “I’m wondering . . . what you’re going to do.”

  “Is there something you want me to do?” he asked as he began drawing circles on the inside of my thighs.

  I sucked in a ragged breath as he moved higher and higher.

  “Tell me what you want.” I could feel his breath as it ghosted across my neck, causing me to shiver.

  When he reached the edge of my panties, he let his fingers hover there, unmoving. My chest clenched. “I want . . .”

  “Yes,” he said, kissing his way up my neck and then taking my earlobe between his teeth.

  I gasped. “I want . . . you to touch me.”

  “I am touching you, sweetheart. Is there some place specific you want me to touch you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Tell me.”

  As my mind tried to think of a way to tell him what I wanted, I froze. Ian, and all the men he’d given me to, flashed through my mind. All the words I’d heard them mumble, yell, and spit at me in disgust repeated over and over. It was as if they were there. It wasn’t a memory. It was real.

  Hands. I felt hands on my face. Gentle hands. Hands I knew.

  “Brianna. Listen to my voice. Remember where you are. What do you hear? What can you feel around you? Tell me.”

  My throat felt tight as I opened my mouthed and tried to speak. “Hands,” I choked out.

  “Good girl. Now tell me what else. Concentrate.”

  “C-cold. I feel . . . cold.”

  The hands left my face and arms circled around my back and shoulders. Then there was warmth. Warmth and the clean smell of soap I recognized. Stephan.

  I reached for him, wrapping my arms around his waist, and holding as tight as I could. He brushed his lips across my forehead. “I feel . . . your arms . . . holding me. Your lips. You.”

  His chest vibrated beneath my cheek, and he kissed the top of my head. “Good girl. What number?”

  Sucking in a deep breath, and burrowing deeper into the comfort of his arms, I took the time to consider my answer. “Three.”

&nbs
p; He hugged me before loosening his grip and pulling me down to the bed to sit on his lap. It was then I noticed he was no longer wearing his towel. Glancing down, I saw it pooled in a heap on the floor.

  “Did you have a flashback?”

  “I don’t know.” Had it been a flashback? It was different than what had happened before, so I wasn’t sure.

  “Take your time and tell me what happened. Remember, slow, deep breaths. There’s no hurry.”

  I took a deep breath just like he’d said and leaned into his chest. Opening my eyes, I saw the beautiful green fabric of the dress he’d picked out for me. The dress I was to wear to dinner with his family. I sat up quickly. Or I tried to. Stephan held me in place, not letting me go very far.

  “Brianna?”

  “Dinner. Your . . . your family—”

  “They’ll wait.”

  Looking up at him, I saw that he was completely serious.

  “Now relax and tell me what happened. Why did you panic?”

  Closing my eyes, I tried to will myself to relax. Stephan pulled me back against him, laying my head on his shoulder. It wasn’t quite the same as his chair, but it was close. I circled my arms around his waist and sighed. “I could hear them.”

  “Hear who?”

  I swallowed, holding him tighter.

  “Shh, sweetheart. You’re fine. You’re safe. Whose voices did you hear?”

  I opened my mouth to answer, but the words wouldn’t come. They stuck in my throat, gagging me. I wanted to answer him. I wanted to give him what he asked for, but I couldn’t. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get it out.

  “Calm down,” he whispered.

  It was then I tasted the salty moisture running down my cheeks and realized I was crying. I tucked my head into the crook of his neck as he ran his fingers through my hair. The constant motion soothed me.

  We sat there for a long time not saying anything. The only sounds in the room were the steady rhythm of our breathing and the gentle rustling of his hand as it moved through my hair. Slowly, the tension drained away, and I relaxed.