Suzy Spitfire Kills Everybody

by Joe Canzano

  She was stunned, but stayed on her feet. But he quickly struck her face again and punched her in the stomach. He knocked the wind out of her and then she was down on the bed. In a flash, he was on top of her.

  He was tearing at her dress. She tried to roll him off—no good. He paused from his tearing and hit her in the mouth with his elbow—over and over again. The impact rattled her skull. She covered her face with her arms. She felt his hand reaching down, grabbing at her panties.

  Don’t panic! she thought.

  He couldn’t get her panties off and started hitting her again. She was being pummeled but her hands were free. She lashed out and smashed his two ears with her open palms. He screamed—good, maybe she’d broken an eardrum. Then she jammed both thumbs into his eyes.

  He screamed louder now, but he ripped her thumbs away. Damn, she hadn’t punctured either eyeball and now he was still on top of her, angrier than ever. He was trying to pin her arms down; he was punching her in the head and body. She shouted and swore and tried to protect her face. He was sneering and cursing and trying to get his hands around her throat. She could feel his erection pressing against her, and she knew she was in trouble, lots of trouble—and then a spark flashed through her mind, a memory from long ago.

  She stopped trying to push him away. Instead, she jerked herself upward and wrapped her arms around his back, pulling him close. Then she wriggled down the length of his body while holding him tight. He was only wearing a light shirt. She snarled and tore into his right nipple with her teeth.

  Now Bob shrieked. It was the expected reaction when a girl starts tearing a guy’s flesh to pieces. In a flash he became frantic, trying to escape—no chance, motherfucker. She dug her fingers into his back, holding him fast, too close to her body to allow a good swing with his fists. She used a circular pattern with her teeth—rapid, razor-sharp nibbles more damaging than big bites. She cut through his skin like tiny knives going through a piece of raw meat. Blood spurted everywhere. She spit it out. Who knew what kind of diseases Bob had? This was a last resort defense, but hey, this was a last resort situation.

  She’d never done this before, but she knew about the technique because she’d learned it from Aiko when they were kids. He’d been into martial arts for a while—the real stuff, not the photogenic bullshit used in movies. And he’d told her about this method and even practiced it with her a few times—minus all the blood.

  She recalled there was more; there was the part where you toss the guy off. He was in a crazed state now, pulling hard, desperate to escape—and she timed it just right, suddenly releasing her grip on him while shoving him away.

  At the same time, she yanked her legs out from under him and kicked him in the chest with both feet. He tumbled off the bed and she leaped up. She looked around for a weapon.

  Captain Orange was on his knees, staring with wild eyes at his injuries. He was breathing hard and pressing down on his shredded nipple with his bloody fingers. She doubted the wound was life threatening, but all the pain and blood made it seem ultra-scary.

  “You fucking bitch!” he said. “I will kill you! You crazy fucking bitch!”

  He was stunned and livid. But so was she.

  She spit more of Bob’s blood back into his face. Then she snatched a vase from a nearby desk. It was shiny, blue, and heavy. She really wanted a knife, of course, so she could cut out his eyeball and use it to open that safe. One thing at a time, Suzy—one thing at a time.

  The vase was nice and solid and it would do the first part of the job just fine. But then the door to the room flew open.

  There was Alice. How had she opened the door? She was still in the red dress—and she also had a gun pointed at Suzy. But when she saw Suzy’s bloody face, and then saw Bob kneeling in a pool of his own plasma, she froze and gasped in horror.

  Suzy didn’t bother trying to explain. Instead, she gave a shout and hurled the vase at Alice’s head.

  The vase crashed against Alice’s skull and she went down. Suzy was right on top of her, grappling with her for the gun. Alice was hurt, but she still had the gun and didn’t want to let go. Suzy was holding Alice’s wrist with both of her hands. She took one hand and shoved a thumb into Alice’s eye. Alice screamed and let go of the weapon.

  Suzy grabbed it—perfect. Now she just needed two shots to solve two problems.

  But they didn’t happen. She was suddenly surrounded by people, and they were all pointing guns.

  There was shouting and screaming. Ned said, “Drop the gun, Suzy! Drop the gun!”

  Suzy hesitated. She was down on the floor, straddling Alice, with the gun aimed at Alice’s face. One move and Suzy knew she was dead. At this distance, even a low-powered shot through the head would probably be fatal.

  She didn’t like Alice, but she didn’t really know her, either. She could kill Alice and they would both die. But there was no point in that.

  “I need a doctor!” Bob screamed. “Shoot the fucking bitch!”

  Ned said, “No one’s shooting anyone, Bob. Suzy—don’t do it. Drop the gun.”

  “He attacked me,” Suzy said in a level voice. “He tried to rape me. I defended myself.”

  “Drop the gun and get up,” Ned said. “No one’s going to hurt you.”

  Suzy’s finger was tense on the trigger. It was so tempting to just start shooting and see how many she could kill before they got her. So tempting.

  She dropped the gun.

  It was a feel thing, and it felt like the smart thing to do. She stood up.

  “Kill her!” Bob said. “Kill or I’ll do it myself!”

  “No!” Alice said. She got to her feet. “You’re not killing anyone, Captain.”

  “I’m the captain!” he screamed.

  “You’re a fucking piece of shit!” Alice shrieked.

  Alice lunged at Bob. Now they were fighting—grappling and flailing at each other. Bob punched Alice in the neck. Alice scratched his face and clawed at his eyes. Two men grabbed Alice and yanked her away. More people with guns appeared. There was blood all over the room.

  Ned looked at different people and started barking orders. “Take Bob to sick bay! Get him some attention. Take Alice to her cabin and stay with her! Take Suzy back to the brig. Be careful! If she tries anything, shoot her. ”

  Chapter 20

  The Justice Three was a fast ship and today it was strutting its stuff. Outer space had never seemed so small. Unfortunately, Blurr didn’t think it was speedy enough.

  Suzy had a good head start. She was in an equally fast ship—maybe faster. So Suzy was going to make it to her destination. This was assuming she wasn’t killed by pirates or stupid warring governments.

  Banks gave Blurr a typically expressionless glance, but Blurr didn’t mind. He was used to Banks being guarded and professional, and he liked that about him. He just needed a few critical attitude adjustments. Little by little.

  Banks motioned at the stars outside the window of the cramped office. “We don’t even know if she’s headed to Choccoban.”

  “She is,” Blurr said. “It would be her logical destination. Choccoban is the most lawless city-state in the solar system. It’s got no extradition treaties. It’s got no police force that will cooperate with us, and we have no official contacts there—and we know Aiko went there lots of times. I definitely think it’s where he stashed the brain. He didn’t have a lot of chances to put it anywhere else, and it’s the only place near the Super Station. Besides, it’s exactly the kind of place she would go.” He paused and flashed a big grin. “She could be her rowdy, special self and never even get a parking ticket.”

  “Is it my imagination, Blurr, or do you admire this criminal?”

  “All she’s ever done is take a certain initiative.”

  “Apparently, that ‘initiative’ involved brutally murdering her uncle and then becoming an armed fugitive. She’s been in multiple shootouts with police officers, and now she’s hanging around with members of a ruthless criminal organiz
ation.”

  “Yeah, I suppose she’s got some baggage... Look, if we catch her you can ask her about it.”

  “Don’t you mean when we catch her? I like to think I’m not out here wasting my time.”

  Blurr just smirked and leaned back in his chair.

  “Do you think you’ve never wasted your time, Banks?”

  Banks hesitated. He was obviously thinking, and he looked grim. “Sure I have,” he said in a soft voice. “But that doesn’t mean I want to do it again.”

  “Right. And that’s why you’re here with me. That’s why we’re going to Choccoban—where opportunity is waiting.”

  “Opportunity? I thought we’re chasing a criminal. Most of the opportunities on Choccoban involve doing things that are against the law.”

  Blurr gave a sarcastic laugh. “Banks, the law props up a world of crap—but hey, I know the Chancellor of Choccoban, and I have some business deals going on with him. I’m talking about top-level stuff, okay? If you take advantage of your opportunities, you can help the people who really matter.”

  “Is that so? And do those opportunities involve extorting money from criminals? There are certain lines I won’t cross.”

  “ ’Extortion’ and collecting tributes from scumbags are two different things,” Blurr said. “Wouldn’t your wife be happy with some extra cash? I hear she wants to open a clinic to help people—victims of real crimes. Crimes she knows about.” His eyes got dark. “Crimes I know about... Would it be so bad to help her out? I’d be happy to help her—by helping you.”

  Banks frowned. He muttered, “Good things can’t be built from bad money, Blurr.”

  “Says who? Open a history book. It’s happened lots of times.”

  “Well, what are you trying to build?”

  “An organization—something big, and something special. But good help is hard to find. And that’s another reason we need to catch Suzy.”

  “Suzy? What does she have to do with this?”

  Blurr said nothing and stretched his arms like a cat waking from a nap. Then the silence was broken by a message whistling over an intercom.

  “Commander Blurr?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I think we’ve located them, sir. They’re being held by some mercenaries not too far from Super Station 6.”

  Blurr slammed his fist down on the desk. “That’s what I’m talking about! Holy shit, I didn’t think we’d get so lucky. Set a course and full speed ahead. ”

  He switched off the intercom and grinned at Banks.

  “Suzy has everything to do with this—and we’ll be seeing her soon.”

  Chapter 21

  “Why were you talking to Pablo?” Maria said. “The truth.”

  Ricardo smiled and raised his hands. “What? I told you. I wanted him to know his bride was okay.”

  “I’m not his bride. You know that isn’t going to happen.”

  “Sure. Is that why you’re so miserable without him?”

  “I’m miserable?”

  “Yeah, pretty much. You’ve really been dragging down the party.”

  “Party? You call this a party? We’re being held captive by a bunch of pirates.”

  Ricardo laughed. “I’ve been in lots of worse places—and I even paid for them. Listen, we’ll get out of here, don’t worry.” He sat beside her on the bed. “Maria, I’m just kidding about the Pablo thing, okay? If you don’t want to marry him, don’t. I totally understand.”

  She put her face in her hands and started to cry. “I love him, Ricardo—I do. But I hate what he does and I don’t want that life for my future children. I don’t want that life for me. I want out!”

  “You can get out. We all can. I’m out already.”

  She stopped crying. “You’re out? Since when? Since you got into a shootout with a bunch of cops and then took Pablo’s spaceship to go looking for a stolen brain that Los Pocos wants to sell to some shady, crooked government?”

  “Okay, I’m not completely out.”

  “Exactly. You’re in it up to your fucking neck.”

  He grinned. “Not my neck, but maybe my chest. My belly button—tops.”

  Maria sighed and shook her head. “Ricardo, you need to be more serious about these things.”

  “I’ll be serious when I need to be.”

  “You need to be serious now.”

  “I’m not smart like you, Maria. And I don’t have any real talent. I’m doing what I can.”

  Maria was about to respond when the main door to their suite swung open. Suzy Spitfire walked into the room and the door clanged shut.

  She looked at Ricardo, and he looked at her. And then his eyes lit up with rage.

  He leaped from the bed. “Suzy, what the hell happened to you?”

  “I’m okay, Ricardo. It could have been a lot worse.”

  He wasn’t listening.

  “Look at you,” he said, waving his arms in the air. “He beat the crap out of you! I will kill that motherfucker. I will kill him!” He ran to the door and started banging on it. “Hey! You hear me out there? Are you listening? I am going to murder Captain Orange. You tell that phony fuck to get his ass down here so I can rip his throat out!”

  Suzy took a deep breath and walked into the bathroom to check out the damage. Maria was right behind her as she looked at herself in the mirror. Her lower lip was smashed and bloody. Her left eye was bruised and swollen shut, and her whole face was puffy. Also, she didn’t feel so great, due to other colorful contusions.

  But on the positive side, she was pretty sure nothing was broken. She was just a few angry shades of purple and black.

  Ricardo was looking at her again. He grabbed her shoulders and stared into her eyes. “Suzy, you’re covered in blood. Maria, do something!”

  Maria pushed him away from Suzy and started examining her injuries. “Can you move your jaw? Where are you cut? I see one cut on your forehead. Most of this blood seems to be someone else’s.”

  “It is,” Suzy said. “I know I look bad, but really, you should see the other guy.”

  Maria swore in Spanish and starting pulling out various items from a cabinet over the sink. Apparently, the prison suite was fully equipped to deal with assault victims.

  “What else happened?” Maria said. She looked down the length of the torn up dress. “Did he—”

  “No. He tried, though.”

  “That motherfucker!” Ricardo screamed. “I am not leaving this ship until that guy is dead!”

  “Ricardo, calm down,” Suzy said—though she had to admit, his anger was impressive. Hey, I think he really cares.

  “I will rip him apart!” Ricardo said. “I will rip off his arms and legs!”

  Okay, he definitely cares. It’s hard to rip off someone’s arms and legs.

  While Maria continued her examination, Ricardo kept raging in the other room.

  “We need a plan,” he said. “We need to get out of here!”

  “What we need is some ice,” Maria said. “Ricardo, get some from the refrigerator. Wrap it in a T-shirt.”

  Ricardo continued to swear but returned with a crude ice pack. Maria put the pack on Suzy’s eye and helped her lie down on the bed.

  Maria said, “You’ve got lots of bruises and a few cuts, but I don’t see anything life-threatening. But you need to be examined by a doctor at a real hospital. You could have internal injuries we don’t know about.”

  “I’ll be okay,” Suzy said. “But Ricardo’s right. We need a plan pretty quick.”

  “Right,” Maria said. “The first plan is this—if Captain Orange opens that door again, he dies. No matter what.”

  Suzy was startled by Maria’s declaration. Meanwhile, Ricardo was still shouting in the background about turning Captain Orange into dog food that he “wouldn’t feed to any fucking dog.”

  Suzy pressed the ice against her face and tried to rest. As bad as she felt, she suddenly felt good, too.

  Maybe these two are my friends after all.

>   Chapter 22

  Hazy thoughts were drifting through Suzy’s brain like gray, fuzzy static.

  Finally, her first day of flight school. She’d survived the barren wasteland of Middle School and now she could go to Diego Tijuana Force Four Vocational and get that pilot’s license her parents didn’t want her to have.

  They just didn’t understand. She wasn’t dumb; she just wasn’t a scholar. She loved to learn by doing, and she wasn’t doing anything in “real” school except falling asleep—although Mr. Jones’s history class had definitely improved her skills. She could now sleep with her eyes open.

  Trish, on the other hand, was very academic. So at least Mom and Dad would have one kid who’d make them proud. Trish had already decided she wanted to be an architect, like Uncle Leonardo. He’d even offered to show her a few things.

  Why didn’t I look out for her more?

  Now someone was talking to her—it seemed far away. Then an alarm was ringing, a distant echo from somewhere outside the fog.

  “Suzy, are you all right? Suzy, you have to get up.”

  With a shudder, Suzy jerked herself awake. She blinked her eyes and heard the alarm still ringing, but her school days were gone. Instead, Maria was staring at her with concern.

  “Suzy, are you okay?” Maria said. “You were talking in your sleep.”

  “Really? What did I say?”

  “You said, 'It’s all wrong. It’s all fucked up.' "

  “Oh. So I guess nothing’s changed... What’s going on with the alarm?”

  “The ship is under attack.”

  Ricardo came running into the bedroom.

  “A bunch of pirate ships are surrounding us,” he said. “These look like real ones, with sucker locks and super stunners.”

  Suzy leaped out of bed. She felt better than expected—whatever drugs Maria had found in the bathroom had worked pretty well. Her bruises were still there but the swelling was seriously reduced. She was ready for another fight.

  “Sucker locks” and “super stunners” were slang for two common pieces of pirate gear. A “sucker lock,” officially known as a “self-pressurized forced connection passageway,” was a tunnel-like passageway that could be extended from a spaceship and joined onto another ship merely by crashing against it. Unlike the passageway of the Heartbreaker’s small shuttle ship, this airlock could be attached anywhere to another ship and instantly create a seal. Then the hull of the victim’s ship would be quickly cut away, allowing pirates to board at any location. This was useful since normal airlocks could have standard, built-in defenses.