And Then You Dance

by Heather A Buchman

  “I’m hungry. Feed me.”

  He raised his eyebrows at her.

  “Later cowboy…where’s the best place to eat in this town?”

  “Depends on what you’re in the mood for, but Juicy Lucy’s Steakhouse is one of my favorites.”

  “Sounds perfect.”

  “Might be a wait on a Saturday night, but we can take a walk along the river if there is.”

  She smiled. She liked him. Jace was easy to be around, and as good in bed as he was a kisser. She hadn’t thought about Billy, before now, all afternoon. It was some kind of record.

  “Whatcha’ thinkin’ about?”

  “You.”

  “Ah that makes me happy since you have such a sweet smile on your face.”

  “You put it there.”

  There was a wait, so they walked along the river and Jace asked her questions about herself. They both loved to ski, in fact, Jace had thought about going pro a few years back. A torn ACL took him out of competition, but it had healed, and he was thinking about getting back into it.

  He’d also been thinking about getting back on some bulls. It had been a while, longer than he intended for it to be. But, he felt like he was ready to try bull-riding again.

  Renie told him about her mom, and how she didn’t start barrel racing until she was forty. “If anyone has shown me it’s never too late to chase your dream, it’s my mom. And barrel racing isn’t for the faint of heart.” She told him about her accident too.

  “You know, now that you’re telling me the story, I remember hearing about this. CB Rice was on tour, and there was an uproar about her being in a coma when she wasn’t.”

  “Yep, that’s the story, but it’s way more complicated than that. She was in a coma, and then when she came out of it she was paralyzed. She made all of us who knew keep it a secret from Ben.”

  Billy had been at her side through all of it. He’d been her rock. She closed her eyes against the memory, but it made it worse. She could see his face when she closed her eyes.

  “It was a rough time, for everyone. Ben included.”

  Jace put his arm around her shoulders and kissed her forehead. “Sorry I brought it up.”

  “It’s okay. She’s fine now, in fact, she’s back at it, competing again.”

  “You sound proud of her.”

  “I am, but…”

  “But?”

  “I’m not sure she’s proud of me.”

  Renie wasn’t sure what made her tell Jace about quitting school, although she stopped short of telling him exactly why she had. She told him that her heart wasn’t in it any longer and with as hard as it was, and how expensive it was, she thought it better not to waste the money or time.

  “You seem as though you’d be a natural. I’ve watched you around the horses. You’re good with them. Think you might go back to it someday?”

  “At this point, no. But again, with my mom as inspiration, who knows?”

  The buzzer went off in his pocket letting them know their table was ready. “I’ve enjoyed this time with you Irene. It’s gonna be hard to go back tomorrow and act like I’m not crazy about you.”

  She smiled, and he pulled her close again. “Damn, I like your smile cowgirl.”

  Chapter 11

  Renie had been sending Billy checks every month for Pooh’s care. He never cashed them. She wondered if he got them, but she thought he must. And if he didn’t, did he really think she wouldn’t send money to feed and care for her horse? She knew she had the address right; it had been her address for the first twenty-two years of her life.

  Renie saw the truck coming down the long dirt road toward Ben’s place on the Rice family ranch. It wasn’t until she realized it was pulling a horse trailer that she got a feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach. Was Billy in that truck? And was Pooh in the trailer?

  Was this really the end of them? Once Pooh was here with her, there’d never be a reason for Renie to go back to Monument. There’d never be a reason for her and Billy to talk again.

  “Mom?” Renie called out. She went into the kitchen, to get a better view of the truck, and who was in it.

  No one answered. She was here alone. And the truck was close enough for her to see the person driving. It was Billy.

  — • —

  If Renie thought she was sore when they left for Glenwood Springs, she was more so now. Although for an entirely different reason.

  She and Jace were on their way to pick up the ranch guests from their rafting trip. Soon, he wouldn’t be able to caress her cheek or pull her in close for a kiss. She wouldn’t be able to stand behind him and wrap her arms around his waist, or run her lips across the strong muscles on his back. At least in public. She wondered how long it would be before the two of them could get away on their own again.

  Jace pulled the van over at a scenic lookout and turned it off. Renie looked around trying to figure out why he’d stopped.

  “Come here girl. I need to kiss you a little while longer.” She groaned as she let him take her in his arms. “I need more of you.”

  “I feel the same way.”

  “What’re we gonna do?”

  “I guess we’ll learn how to be discreet,” she smirked.

  “I’m not sure how you pulled off getting a cabin on your own girl, but I’m sure glad you did.”

  That night after the dancing was over and the guests retired for the night, Jace snuck into Renie’s cabin, as he did every night for the rest of the summer.

  ***

  Billy couldn’t stand it any longer. It had been almost three months to the day since Renie walked out of the hospital in San Antonio, and out of his life.

  Willow was six months old. She slept longer at night, which made life easier. On the other hand, she was crawling. Billy had to watch her every second, or she’d get into something. Dottie came up to the house and helped him baby-proof it. He loved the fireplaces in Liv’s house—his house, as he had to keep reminding himself it was. But now that he had a baby girl, he cursed them. There wasn’t a way he could figure out, besides putting pillows on the hearths and corners of every one of them, to keep Willow from bumping her head.

  If he weren’t dreaming about Willow getting hurt on something he’d overlooked, he was dreaming about Renie. Both caused him equal amounts of pain when he did. When he woke up this morning, Renie was on his mind. He still hadn’t heard a word from her, although he hadn’t expected to.

  He called Liv who was out on the rodeo circuit.

  “Hey-o Billy,” she answered.

  “Hey Livvie. How goes chasin’ the cans?”

  “Great, but we sure miss you out here. No matter where I am people come and ask me when you’ll be back.”

  “What do you tell them?”

  “I don’t tell them anything Billy. It isn’t up to me to tell them why you aren’t here.”

  “Appreciate that Livvie.”

  Billy figured everyone knew about Willow anyway. The rodeo world was a small one.

  “I’m calling to ask you about Renie.”

  “I know.”

  “How is she?”

  “She’s doing a bit better. At least I think she is. I haven’t talked to her in a few days.”

  “How long you been out?”

  “A couple of days. Renie left two weeks ago. She’s working at Black Mountain Ranch this summer.”

  “Where? Isn’t that a dude ranch?”

  “It is.”

  “She’ll be there all summer?”

  “Yes Billy. She will be.”

  It was May. She’d be gone until at least September.

  “I gotta go Livvie. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay Billy. I understand.”

  He needed to sit down, catch his breath, and figure out how in the hell he’d last another four months without any chance of seeing her.

  ***

  Knowing the thing between her and Jace would end when summer did, made it easy between them. They stayed so busy
at the ranch, they barely had time for each other anyway. There wasn’t time for them to disagree. They didn’t have any relationship “issues.” They worked hard all day, sometimes they saw each other, and sometimes they didn’t.

  Jace would seek her out at dinner, sometimes he’d sit next to her, sometimes he wouldn’t. He tried to get at least one dance in with her a night, sometimes it wasn’t possible. Jace was a good-looking cowboy, and there was usually a line of ranch guests waiting to dance with him. Some were not willing to give him up at the end of a song.

  It didn’t make Renie jealous; it made her laugh. She was in the same boat. She did a lot of dancing with guests herself. Her favorite dance partners were the little boys who reminded her of Jake and Luke. She missed her stepbrothers so much. And her mom. She even missed Ben.

  It made her realize that she hadn’t been allowing herself to miss anyone. Missing someone reminded her of the person she missed the most. But at some point in the last couple of weeks, she’d been able to think about other people in her life, people outside the fences of Black Mountain Ranch, and she missed them.

  She called her mom that night right before dinner.

  “Hi Mama,” she said when her mother answered her cell phone.

  “Renie! Oh my goodness. It is so good to hear your voice. How are you?”

  “I’m good. I miss you.”

  “I miss you too honey.”

  “Where are you?”

  “I’m in Lewisburg, Ohio, of all places.”

  “How’s it going?”

  “Second in the money for the region.”

  “Woohoo!” Renie shouted out.

  “I can’t tell you how good it is to hear you ‘woohooing.’”

  “It feels good to be doing it.”

  “Are you having a good time?”

  “I am Mom. It’s the best thing I could’ve done for myself. Don’t get me wrong though, it’s hard work.”

  They talked for a few more minutes about the ranch, Jake and Luke, and Ben’s album, which he’d almost finished recording. Liv told her that Paige had been traveling with her from time to time, and Mark was sitting in on a few tracks on Ben’s record. They even talked about Will and Matt, Ben’s brothers, and his parents. They ran out of people to talk about, but the air hung heavily on the phone connection.

  “Dottie and Bill asked me to tell you they miss you the next time I talked to you.”

  “I miss them too. You can tell them that.”

  Her mom didn’t say anything else and Renie didn’t ask. “Okay, I better go, they’re ringing the dinner bell. I love you Mom.”

  “I love you too honey.”

  Renie hung up and looked up at the stars. “Damn you Billy Patterson, you’re not getting back in. Not ever,” she said, feeling as though she wanted to shake her fists at the sky.

  “Who’s Billy Patterson?” Jace said, walking up behind her.

  “Jace, you scared me,” she turned to look at him.

  “Come on Irene, tell me. Who is he?”

  “Nobody important.”

  “Don’t lie to me.”

  “I’m not lying. He’s not important.”

  “You talk in your sleep you know.”

  She did? This was the first he mentioned it.

  “I’ve been wondering who Billy was. Now at least there’s a last name to go with the first one.”

  “He’s someone from my past. Not someone I want to talk about, or even think about.”

  “They say dreams are the manifestation of unresolved emotion.”

  “Maybe they are, sometimes. But in this case Billy is someone I grew up with. He isn’t in my life anymore.”

  “What happened to him?”

  “What part of ‘I don’t want to talk about him,” aren’t you hearing Jace?”

  He turned around to make sure no one was watching them and took her arm, drawing her away from the front porch and out of the light.

  “Okay, I got it. Now come here.”

  As much as she knew she shouldn’t, she let Jace kiss her. She needed it so badly, the feel of him to wash away the memories of Billy that still crept in too often.

  He held her for a while, and she rested her cheek against his shoulder. “Thanks.”

  “What for?”

  “Not pressing the issue.”

  “Come on, let’s go eat. Somebody’s gonna come looking for us.” He squeezed her hand before he dropped it and followed her into the dining hall.

  Renie tried to avoid talking to Jace about anything that could lead to questions about Billy. She changed the subject so fast sometimes that even her head spun.

  “I’m not going to ask about him again,” he said as he climbed into bed with her a couple weeks later.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Billy. You’ve been dancin’ around every topic that you think might lead to him, and it’s exhaustin’ me. I’m not gonna ask you about him. You’ll talk about him when you’re ready.”

  “I don’t think I’ll ever be ready Jace. And it isn’t even that, it’s more that there isn’t anything to talk about.”

  She looked straight at him, waiting for him to raise his eyebrows, or do something else to indicate he didn’t believe her. That’s what Billy would’ve done. But Jace didn’t. When he said he wouldn’t ask about him, he meant it. When he said he was tired of dancing around it, he meant that too.

  “Thanks Jace,” she said as she kissed him.

  “It’s okay, I get it.”

  She believed he did get it. Once again, he was so easy going. Billy was never easy going. When he wanted to talk about something, he wouldn’t relent until they did.

  “Stop comparing me to him.”

  That startled her. “What does that mean?”

  “I can see you doing it. I’m watchin’ the wheels spin. You’re thinkin’ about him right now. You don’t want to talk about him that’s one thing, but thinkin’ about him when you’re in bed with me? That won’t fly with me Irene.”

  Jace moved over her and gently pinned her arms above her head. “Do you understand me? When you’re with me this way, you think about me.”

  She looked into his eyes and nodded her head enough that he knew she understood.

  In early August Jace and Renie had another opportunity to go to Glenwood Springs on a rafting excursion. She couldn’t wait to spend time with him without pretending there was nothing between them, without looking over her shoulder every time he smiled at her to make sure no one was looking.

  They decided to repeat what they did the last time and booked a couple’s massage in their room at the Colorado Hotel. And then, they went and ate at Juicy Lucy’s.

  “Tate talked to me about you the other day,” Jace said during dinner.

  Tate was the ranch manager. Renie doubted it had been a good conversation.

  “Uh oh. What did he say? And why are you telling me about it now?”

  “It wasn’t that bad. Mainly he wanted to know what our plans were at the end of the summer.”

  “Plans?”

  “Yeah, where I’m going. Where you’re going. That kind of thing.”

  “I hadn’t thought about it much, other than going home I guess.”

  “Home to Crested Butte?”

  “That’s the only home I have anymore.”

  Jace’s family lived in Aspen. He and his brother had a condo there, although both of them were gone most of the summer. He was there during the winter though. Last year Jace helped train a group of competitive skiers, he told her. This winter he planned to spend more time at the rodeo than he did on the ski slopes.

  “It’s a nice drive over Kebler Pass, especially in the fall. Maybe we can make a couple of trips back and forth.”

  Renie wasn’t sure what to say. This was the first time Jace mentioned anything about seeing each other once summer ended, and the ranch closed for the season.

  “Yeah, maybe.”

  “You don’t sound too sure about it.”

>   “No, that sounds nice.”

  “Again, missing the enthusiasm factor. Does this have anything to do with the mysterious Billy?”

  It had been a few weeks since they’d last talked about Billy. She wondered if she were still talking in her sleep, but that wasn’t a question she’d ever ask him. She still dreamt about Billy. All the time. She’d hoped Jace would never bring him up again, but it looked as though her luck had run out.

  “It doesn’t have anything to do with him.”

  “Aha, so it does have to do with something.”

  “You’re twisting my words. I haven’t thought that far ahead. I haven’t wanted to.”

  “Why not?”

  She smiled. “Because I’m enjoying my summer so much. That’s why.”

  He smiled too. “Me too. But Irene, I would like to see you again after the summer is over.”

  The last week at the ranch, which was the last week of September, was hard on everyone. Friendships formed every summer and even if a lot of them came back the next year, it would never be the same again. Different guests, new personalities among the wranglers, there was beauty in it, but there was a sadness too.

  Jace had a great attitude, as he did about most things. Nothing much rattled the man. He went back and forth, season to season, doing what he loved. In the summer, he was a wrangler; in the winter he was a skier. Between he hiked fourteeners or traveled somewhere exotic. Money didn’t seem to be much of an issue for Jace, although he rarely talked about it.

  “Come to Aspen for a couple days before you head home. Let me show you around,” he said a few days before they were scheduled to leave.

  No one was waiting for her at home. Her mom was still out on the rodeo circuit and Ben was with her, which meant the boys wouldn’t be coming to the house. So why not?

  “Sure,” she answered, as though it was the easiest thing in the world.

  “Wow.”

  “What?”

  He laughed. “I didn’t expect you to say yes so quickly.”

  “Want to rescind your offer?”

  “No way! I was wondering what else I could ask you while you’re so agreeable.”

  That was funny, she thought. She was usually agreeable to anything Jace suggested. She wondered if he saw it differently.