Tainted Heartbreak

by Terri Anne Browning

  Blood was taken, and thankfully they didn’t make me pee in a cup, because I seriously had no strength to accomplish that kind of feat. My chest was X-rayed along with my foot, and within an hour of arriving, the doctor was admitting me. I had double pneumonia, strep throat, and a fractured ankle.

  The doctor’s eyes met mine as he finished giving his diagnosis. “And you’re pregnant. You should be taking better care of yourself, young woman.”

  “What?” I wheezed out. “What did you say?”

  “Pregnant,” he repeated. “I suspect not too far along, but enough that it showed up on your blood work, so at least three weeks.”

  “Oh God,” I groaned, “I’m going to be sick.”

  “Mar!” Riley was already there with a vomit bag, but there was nothing in me to puke up. My stomach heaved repeatedly until I fell limply back onto the bed, noticing the doctor had left us alone. “Just take deep breaths,” she urged. “It’s going to be okay.”

  “This can’t be happening.”

  “But it is.”

  “I can’t deal with this right now, Riles.” Twin tears fell from the corners of my eyes.

  My friend stroked her fingers over my brow. “Just try to sleep, babe. Concentrate on getting better, and then we can deal with the rest, okay?”

  Okay?

  I was sick and pregnant.

  And I hated my baby’s father.

  Nothing about this was okay.

  Chapter 15

  Cash

  The ringing of my phone jerked me awake. Groaning, I blindly searched for the device in my darkened bedroom. “Fuck,” I muttered, trying to open my eyes. My fingers found my phone, and I pulled it to my face, blinking at the name on the screen.

  “What you want, Sin?” I bit out.

  “Hello to you too, sunshine,” he laughed sadistically.

  “Not in the fucking mood for your shit today, Sin. I’ve got the mother of all hangovers going on, and I’m itching to beat the fuck out of shit.” I rolled onto my back, glaring up at the ceiling as I fought the nausea roiling in my stomach.

  “Yeah, well, I’m risking Roanna being pissed at me by even calling you. But I figured you would want to know I had to go to your girl’s place a few hours ago and carry her down to Riley’s car.” I shot upright in bed, my heart pounding. “She was sick as hell, man. Sweating and shivering. Coughing so bad I was surprised she was still able to breathe.”

  “Which hospital?” I was already on my feet, grabbing the jeans I’d tossed aside in a drunken stupor the night before.

  “Her ankle was pretty fucked up too. Purple and swollen. She couldn’t walk on it.”

  “Which hospital?” I repeated, pulling a T-shirt over my head.

  “And there were bruises on her wrists. You know anything about that, dickhead?”

  I froze, the hand reaching for my keys and wallet dropping to my side. “I would never hurt her like that, motherfucker. You know I don’t do shit like that.”

  “Yeah, well, when I asked her if I should call you, she said ‘Fuck Cash.’ When someone that sick is telling me shit like that, and I’m seeing with my own eyes physical evidence someone wasn’t being gentle with her, I’m smart enough to put two and two together and get four.”

  “Shit,” I groaned, remembering how she’d jerked her wrists out of my desperate grip the night before. “Just tell me where she is, Sin. I need to talk to her.”

  “I figured Riley took her to the one near their place. Girls were talking about it a little bit ago, and they said Amara was admitted. She has pneumonia, and her ankle is fractured. If I find out you did that to her, man, I’m gonna beat your ass until you can’t move. Feel me?”

  “If I’d done that to her, I would sit and take the beating. But I fucking didn’t. I don’t know what happened to her ankle. I love that chick. I would never intentionally touch her with violence, and you fucking know it.”

  There was a brief hesitation on his end before he grunted something under his breath. “Yeah, fucker, I know. Go take care of your woman.”

  The hospital was only about twenty minutes from my apartment, but it took nearly double that time to get there with traffic and the weather. It was still storming, making the late-afternoon sky look more like midnight. The hospital parking lot was overflowing with vehicles and ambulances. Inside, it was turning into a madhouse, the people in the ER overflowing into the rest of the first floor.

  Finding the information desk, I got Amara’s room number. Luckily, it was easy enough to find. Getting inside her semi-private room, however, wasn’t going to be nearly as simple.

  Riley met me at the door, her eyes blazing with hate and distrust as she pushed me back into the corridor. “What the fuck are you doing here?” she hissed, turning her head to make sure the door had closed behind her. “She doesn’t want to see you, Cash.”

  My eyes were glued to the closed door, my heart in my throat. I clenched my hands into fists, forcing myself to stand where I was and not burst into Amara’s room and beg her to forgive me and let me take care of her. “Sin called me. What did the doctor say?”

  Something darkened in her eyes, and she poked me in the chest with her index finger. “If Sin called you, I’m fairly sure he told you what is wrong with her. I’m not telling you jack shit.”

  “Riley,” I growled in warning. “I need to see her. If she doesn’t want me here, she can tell me that herself.”

  Small fists grabbed my shirt and jerked me down until our eyes were even. “Listen to me carefully, Cash. You go in that room, and I will tear your dick off and feed it to the stray dogs running around this city. I don’t know what you did to her. Honestly, it doesn’t matter. You hurt her, and I will kill you before I let you do it again.”

  I covered her hands, pulling them off me, but I didn’t straighten. “Do what the fuck you want to me. I don’t really give a damn right now. But you know me, Riley. I would never willingly hurt her. She was upset yesterday and wouldn’t listen to me. I can make this right. I just need a chance to explain everything better.”

  “You think she’s so upset because of a misunderstanding?” Riley laughed coldly. “A misunderstanding doesn’t cause this kind of emotional numbness, asshole. Leave her the fuck alone.”

  I raked my hands through my hair. My head was throbbing and the overhead lights were killing my eyes, but that was nothing on the ache in my gut. I needed to see Amara with my own eyes, to tell her I loved her and to take care of her while she was sick. I was losing my damn mind, and Riley was the one thing standing in my way of getting to the only person who mattered.

  “When we were in Oklahoma, you said you could see how much I love Amara,” I reminded her. “Can’t you see that now, Riley? Can’t you see I’m dying here?”

  She crossed her arms over her chest, her glare never wavering. “I don’t claim to know what happened between you two yesterday. She won’t tell me, and she’s so sick right now, I’m not about to push her into explaining what changed. What I do know? Every time your name is mentioned, she flinches and starts crying all over again. I’ve never seen her act like this. I don’t know if it’s because she’s sick, or if you’ve fucked up so bad that you broke her completely. So until she’s better and can think clearly again, I don’t give two fucks how much you love her.”

  Turning, she put her hands on the door but didn’t push it open yet. Looking at me over her shoulder, she muttered, “There’s a waiting room two corridors over. If you love her as much as you say, stick around in case she starts feeling better and decides she wants to see you.”

  Realizing it was as close to Amara as I was going to get anytime soon, I nodded. “If she needs anything, just let me know. I’ll get her whatever she wants.”

  “Even if she wants you to stay away from her?”

  I clenched my jaw and didn’t answer. If that was what Amara wanted, I wasn’t sure I could give it to her. I fucked up, but I wasn’t going to let it destroy what we had. All I needed was one more chan
ce. I wouldn’t hurt her again. I wouldn’t let anything or anyone take what we had away.

  --

  The waiting room wasn’t busy. The random family member came in to raid the vending machine or to get a cup of the pathetic free coffee that was made every few hours. Other than that, I was in the room by myself.

  It gave me time to get over my hangover and deal with the messages already piling up from Gigi. I skimmed through some of them, most of them praising me on what a good job I’d done. The last one, sent less than twenty minutes ago, asked when I was coming home.

  I clenched my jaw and hit connect on her name. It barely rang on her end before she was answering. “There is a flight to Roanoke that leaves in two hours. If you hurry, you can make it.”

  “Why this sudden rush to get me home, Gigi?”

  “Your father wants to see you and thank you himself. He got a call from the congressman this morning, assuring him that he would make sure the bill passed.” She sounded out of breath, but she wasn’t coughing. I was glad for that much, at least. There had been plenty of times when she would cough for minutes at a time during one of our phone calls. Maybe she had been faking it, or even overdramatizing it to make me feel guiltier so I would give in and do what she wanted. It wouldn’t surprise me. The woman was a pro at bending people to her will, especially me.

  “After what happened last night, I’m surprised Connors’s daughter didn’t convince him not to vote in Dad’s favor.” I leaned back in my chair and closed my eyes against the harsh lights in the room.

  There was a short pause on her end before she exploded. “Why would she do that?” she practically growled.

  “Because I told her to fuck off,” I told her honestly.

  Another pause, and I could practically hear the wheels turning in her head. “I thought you liked this girl. You seemed to be happier lately. I assumed that this thing with Connors’s daughter was the cause.”

  “The cause?” I snorted. “You thought a snobby bitch who needs her father to so much as piss would make me happy?”

  “Watch your language, boy,” she cautioned.

  “Was that part of the plan all along, Gigi?” I gritted out, realization smacking me in the face. “Were you trying to set me up with that chick?”

  “I figured it wouldn’t hurt anything if you started seeing a nice girl for once.”

  “You thought this ‘nice girl’ would do what? Wrap me so tight around her finger you could use her to control me?” But I already knew the answer to that. Of course, that was what my grandmother was hoping to do. When I left, she’d lost all the power she had over me. Getting sick was probably the best thing to happen to her, because she knew she could use it to twist me into doing whatever the fuck she wanted me to do.

  “You used the wrong girl, Gigi,” I told her, my tone empty and cold, just like the spot in my heart where she had once been. “You should have looked a little harder. Lindsey’s roommate would have been a better match. She came with the connections that would have gotten Dad his vote in just one phone call.”

  “What are you talking about? That Riley girl has no connections that could have helped your father.”

  “No, the other one. Amara Marks. Her stepfather is Malcolm McIntire.” Her quick inhale told me she knew exactly who I was talking about.

  “Well, no matter,” she muttered, brushing off McIntire’s name like it meant nothing to her. But I heard the small tremble in her voice. “You accomplished what was needed. Now, hurry up. Catch that flight, and I’ll have someone meet you at the airport.”

  “That isn’t happening. I’m not coming home. Ever. I did your dirty work, but that’s it. I’m done. With you. With Dad. With all your twisted shit. Helping you has fucked up everything that means anything to me. I’m not letting you touch that again.” I rolled my neck left and right, trying to get the tension out of it. “You got what you wanted, Gigi. But getting it cost you me. Congratulations.”

  “Cash—”

  I hung up without hesitation. All my life, all she had ever done was manipulate me into doing whatever she needed. I loved her more than my own mother because she had given me the time and attention I needed growing up. But what I thought was her love for me, went only as far as she could control me. That wasn’t love.

  My phone rang, showing me Gigi was calling me back. I hit decline and then blocked her number. I wasn’t just blowing hot air at her to make her bend to my will as she had done to me so many times over the course of my life. I wanted nothing to do with her or my father ever again. They could rot in hell together for all I cared.

  All any of this had shown me was that Gigi still couldn’t accept the real me. She wanted to set me up with a “nice girl,” someone she thought could be useful in manipulating me more. Someone she assumed I would fall for and then fall in line for her and the prestigious Mathias name.

  Fuck that, and fuck them. Letting Gigi back into my life cost me the only person who saw the real me and loved me anyway. Loved me because of it.

  And I’d be damned if I let her go without a fight.

  Chapter 16

  Amara

  The smell of something delicious had my nose twitching. I inhaled deeply, and for the first time, didn’t immediately fall into a fit of coughing my lungs loose. Opening my eyes, I looked around my small hospital room. There were three walls and then a curtain that separated my space from the teenager there for knee surgery.

  In the hard as stone recliner to my left sat my best friend. She was shoveling pasta into her mouth like she hadn’t eaten in days. Considering she hadn’t left my side for more than to use the bathroom over the last day and a half, she was probably starving.

  “Is that Gino’s?” I asked with a jealous pout. My stomach was growling. The last thing I had eaten was the clumpy shit the nurse’s aide had claimed was oatmeal that morning, and I hadn’t been able to get more than a third of it down without gagging.

  “Mm-hmm,” Riley nodded, chewing quickly before stuffing half a breadstick into her mouth. “Wan’ sum?”

  I shook my head despite my stomach going crazy, pleading for just a bite. “You eat it.”

  She kept stuffing her face, occasionally stopping for a drink of the huge to-go cup of what looked like Gino’s special raspberry lemonade. My mouth went dry just watching her suck the drink through the straw.

  “When did you leave to get food?” I asked to break the silence.

  “Didn’t.”

  I frowned. “But Gino’s doesn’t deliver.”

  She shrugged, pushing a bite of salad and spaghetti into her mouth to avoid explaining.

  My stomach dropped. “Lin isn’t here, is she? Because I told you I don’t want to see her, Riles.”

  “Nope. Not Lin.” She kept her gaze on her food as she wiped her mouth with a napkin.

  Her evasive eye contact gave her away instantly. “Riley!” I whined.

  “What?” she sighed. “He offered to get me something to eat. I was starving, Mar. I would have taken candy from the devil, I was so hungry.”

  I wanted to be mad at her—at him—but he was being considerate of my friend’s needs. Just as he had been of mine and my family’s when none of us was in the state of mind to take care of ourselves during our grief over losing Dad. We all leaned on him during those two weeks. I wasn’t sure how any of us would have gotten through that without Cash.

  I fell for him all over again because of it.

  Which made the crash and burn of finding him with Lindsey even more painful.

  Closing my eyes to hold my tears prisoner, I turned my head away so my friend couldn’t see the struggle I was having with my emotions.

  Riley was quiet for a moment as she continued to eat. “I’m sorry, Mar. I wasn’t trying to upset you. I was just hungry.”

  “It’s fine,” I assured her in a voice tight with suppressed emotion.

  “Speaking of Lindsey, by the way…” I gritted my teeth, waiting for her to continue. “She called me this
morning. Said she’s moving out. Going home with her dad for the summer. Didn’t know if she was coming back for the fall semester.”

  “Good for her,” I muttered.

  “Are you ever going to tell me what happened? It’s crazy that you broke up with Cash and had a falling out with Lin all in the same day.”

  If I put myself in Riley’s shoes, I would be just as confused. Was just as confused even though I saw the evidence with my own eyes. How could I have been so blind? What had I missed? Was there anything that could have clued me in to the fact that my boyfriend was seeing one of my best friends behind my back?

  I could have tried to figure out those answers for the rest of my life without coming up with anything. The truth was, I hadn’t had a single clue. There had been zero hints that Cash was cheating on me. He had been nothing but attentive and considerate. I felt his love for me long before he said the words.

  And that was the worst part. Because, in my heart, I knew he loved me. I could feel it living inside me even now.

  Yet…

  How could I ever trust him again?

  He’d obliterated my trust and faith in him.

  “Mar, why are you crying?” Riley demanded with concern. “Are you in pain? Or is this some kind of pregnancy hormone shit?”

  Christ.

  For a moment, I’d forgotten all about the fact that I had life growing inside me. With her reminder, I felt bile rising in the back of my throat, and that morning’s oatmeal was making a comeback.

  “Oh fuck,” Riley squealed, handing me the small pink basin from beside the bed just in time to catch the puke as it made its exit.

  My stomach muscles were sore from all the coughing I’d been doing, so their contracting with each heave made me whimper, and the tears I’d been holding at bay spilled free. Riley hit the call button for the nurse, and soon the door was opening.

  “Poor thing,” the nurse who had been taking care of me all morning soothed as she touched a cool, damp cloth to my brow. “There’s no way the doc is going to release you today after this, honey.”