Dead Souls

by Nikolai Vasilevich Gogol

  CHAPTER IX

  Next morning, before the usual hour for paying calls, there tripped fromthe portals of an orange-coloured wooden house with an attic storey anda row of blue pillars a lady in an elegant plaid cloak. With her camea footman in a many-caped greatcoat and a polished top hat with a goldband. Hastily, but gracefully, the lady ascended the steps let down froma koliaska which was standing before the entrance, and as soon asshe had done so the footman shut her in, put up the steps again, and,catching hold of the strap behind the vehicle, shouted to the coachman,"Right away!" The reason of all this was that the lady was the possessorof a piece of intelligence that she was burning to communicate to afellow-creature. Every moment she kept looking out of the carriagewindow, and perceiving, with almost speechless vexation, that, as yet,she was but half-way on her journey. The fronts of the houses appearedto her longer than usual, and in particular did the front of the whitestone hospital, with its rows of narrow windows, seem interminable toa degree which at length forced her to ejaculate: "Oh, the cursedbuilding! Positively there is no end to it!" Also, she twice adjured thecoachman with the words, "Go quicker, Andrusha! You are a horribly longtime over the journey this morning." But at length the goal was reached,and the koliaska stopped before a one-storied wooden mansion, dark greyin colour, and having white carvings over the windows, a tall woodenfence and narrow garden in front of the latter, and a few meagre treeslooming white with an incongruous coating of road dust. In the windowsof the building were also a few flower pots and a parrot that keptalternately dancing on the floor of its cage and hanging on to the ringof the same with its beak. Also, in the sunshine before the door two petdogs were sleeping. Here there lived the lady's bosom friend. As soon asthe bosom friend in question learnt of the newcomer's arrival, she randown into the hall, and the two ladies kissed and embraced one another.Then they adjourned to the drawing-room.

  "How glad I am to see you!" said the bosom friend. "When I heard someone arriving I wondered who could possibly be calling so early. Parashadeclared that it must be the Vice-Governor's wife, so, as I did not wantto be bored with her, I gave orders that I was to be reported 'not athome.'"

  For her part, the guest would have liked to have proceeded to businessby communicating her tidings, but a sudden exclamation from the hostessimparted (temporarily) a new direction to the conversation.

  "What a pretty chintz!" she cried, gazing at the other's gown.

  "Yes, it IS pretty," agreed the visitor. "On the other hand, PraskoviaThedorovna thinks that--"

  In other words, the ladies proceeded to indulge in a conversation onthe subject of dress; and only after this had lasted for a considerablewhile did the visitor let fall a remark which led her entertainer toinquire:

  "And how is the universal charmer?"

  "My God!" replied the other. "There has been SUCH a business! In fact,do you know why I am here at all?" And the visitor's breathing becamemore hurried, and further words seemed to be hovering between her lipslike hawks preparing to stoop upon their prey. Only a person of theunhumanity of a "true friend" would have had the heart to interrupt her;but the hostess was just such a friend, and at once interposed with:

  "I wonder how any one can see anything in the man to praise or toadmire. For my own part, I think--and I would say the same thingstraight to his face--that he is a perfect rascal."

  "Yes, but do listen to what I have got to tell you."

  "Oh, I know that some people think him handsome," continued thehostess, unmoved; "but _I_ say that he is nothing of the kind--that, inparticular, his nose is perfectly odious."

  "Yes, but let me finish what I was saying." The guest's tone was almostpiteous in its appeal.

  "What is it, then?"

  "You cannot imagine my state of mind! You see, this morning I receiveda visit from Father Cyril's wife--the Archpriest's wife--you know her,don't you? Well, whom do you suppose that fine gentleman visitor of ourshas turned out to be?"

  "The man who has built the Archpriest a poultry-run?"

  "Oh dear no! Had that been all, it would have been nothing. No. Listento what Father Cyril's wife had to tell me. She said that, last night,a lady landowner named Madame Korobotchka arrived at the Archpriest'shouse--arrived all pale and trembling--and told her, oh, such things!They sound like a piece out of a book. That is to say, at dead of night,just when every one had retired to rest, there came the most dreadfulknocking imaginable, and some one screamed out, 'Open the gates, or wewill break them down!' Just think! After this, how any one can say thatthe man is charming I cannot imagine."

  "Well, what of Madame Korobotchka? Is she a young woman or goodlooking?"

  "Oh dear no! Quite an old woman."

  "Splendid indeed! So he is actually engaged to a person like that? Onemay heartily commend the taste of our ladies for having fallen in lovewith him!"

  "Nevertheless, it is not as you suppose. Think, now! Armed with weaponsfrom head to foot, he called upon this old woman, and said: 'Sell me anysouls of yours which have lately died.' Of course, Madame Korobotchkaanswered, reasonably enough: 'I cannot sell you those souls, seeing thatthey have departed this world;' but he replied: 'No, no! They are NOTdead. 'Tis I who tell you that--I who ought to know the truth of thematter. I swear that they are still alive.' In short, he made such ascene that the whole village came running to the house, and childrenscreamed, and men shouted, and no one could tell what it was allabout. The affair seemed to me so horrible, so utterly horrible, that Itrembled beyond belief as I listened to the story. 'My dearest madam,'said my maid, Mashka, 'pray look at yourself in the mirror, and see howwhite you are.' 'But I have no time for that,' I replied, 'as I mustbe off to tell my friend, Anna Grigorievna, the news.' Nor did I lose amoment in ordering the koliaska. Yet when my coachman, Andrusha, askedme for directions I could not get a word out--I just stood staringat him like a fool, until I thought he must think me mad. Oh, AnnaGrigorievna, if you but knew how upset I am!"

  "What a strange affair!" commented the hostess. "What on earth canthe man have meant by 'dead souls'? I confess that the words pass myunderstanding. Curiously enough, this is the second time I have heardspeak of those souls. True, my husband avers that Nozdrev was lying; yetin his lies there seems to have been a grain of truth."

  "Well, just think of my state when I heard all this! 'And now,'apparently said Korobotchka to the Archpriest's wife, 'I am altogetherat a loss what to do, for, throwing me fifteen roubles, the man forcedme to sign a worthless paper--yes, me, an inexperienced, defencelesswidow who knows nothing of business.' That such things should happen!TRY and imagine my feelings!"

  "In my opinion, there is in this more than the dead souls which meet theeye."

  "I think so too," agreed the other. As a matter of fact, her friend'sremark had struck her with complete surprise, as well as filled her withcuriosity to know what the word "more" might possibly signify. In fact,she felt driven to inquire: "What do YOU suppose to be hidden beneath itall?"

  "No; tell me what YOU suppose?"

  "What _I_ suppose? I am at a loss to conjecture."

  "Yes, but tell me what is in your mind?"

  Upon this the visitor had to confess herself nonplussed; for, thoughcapable of growing hysterical, she was incapable of propounding anyrational theory. Consequently she felt the more that she needed tendercomfort and advice.

  "Then THIS is what I think about the dead souls," said the hostess.Instantly the guest pricked up her ears (or, rather, they prickedthemselves up) and straightened herself and became, somehow, moremodish, and, despite her not inconsiderable weight, posed herself tolook like a piece of thistledown floating on the breeze.

  "The dead souls," began the hostess.

  "Are what, are what?" inquired the guest in great excitement.

  "Are, are--"

  "Tell me, tell me, for heaven's sake!"

  "They are an invention to conceal something else. The man's real objectis, is--TO ABDUCT THE GOVERNOR'S DAUGHTER."

  So startling and unexpect
ed was this conclusion that the guest satreduced to a state of pale, petrified, genuine amazement.

  "My God!" she cried, clapping her hands, "I should NEVER have guessedit!"

  "Well, to tell you the truth, I guessed it as soon as ever you openedyour mouth."

  "So much, then, for educating girls like the Governor's daughter atschool! Just see what comes of it!"

  "Yes, indeed! And they tell me that she says things which I hesitateeven to repeat."

  "Truly it wrings one's heart to see to what lengths immorality hascome."

  "Some of the men have quite lost their heads about her, but for my partI think her not worth noticing."

  "Of course. And her manners are unbearable. But what puzzles me most ishow a travelled man like Chichikov could come to let himself in for suchan affair. Surely he must have accomplices?"

  "Yes; and I should say that one of those accomplices is Nozdrev."

  "Surely not?"

  "CERTAINLY I should say so. Why, I have known him even try to sell hisown father! At all events he staked him at cards."

  "Indeed! You interest me. I should never had thought him capable of suchthings."

  "I always guessed him to be so."

  The two ladies were still discussing the matter with acumen and successwhen there walked into the room the Public Prosecutor--bushy eyebrows,motionless features, blinking eyes, and all. At once the ladies hastenedto inform him of the events related, adducing therewith full detailsboth as to the purchase of dead souls and as to the scheme to abduct theGovernor's daughter; after which they departed in different directions,for the purpose of raising the rest of the town. For the execution ofthis undertaking not more than half an hour was required. So thoroughlydid they succeed in throwing dust in the public's eyes that for a whileevery one--more especially the army of public officials--was placed inthe position of a schoolboy who, while still asleep, has had a bag ofpepper thrown in his face by a party of more early-rising comrades. Thequestions now to be debated resolved themselves into two--namely, thequestion of the dead souls and the question of the Governor's daughter.To this end two parties were formed--the men's party and the femininesection. The men's party--the more absolutely senseless of thetwo--devoted its attention to the dead souls: the women's partyoccupied itself exclusively with the alleged abduction of the Governor'sdaughter. And here it may be said (to the ladies' credit) that thewomen's party displayed far more method and caution than did its rivalfaction, probably because the function in life of its members had alwaysbeen that of managing and administering a household. With the ladies,therefore, matters soon assumed vivid and definite shape; they becameclearly and irrefutably materialised; they stood stripped of all doubtand other impedimenta. Said some of the ladies in question, Chichikovhad long been in love with the maiden, and the pair had kept tryst bythe light of the moon, while the Governor would have given his consent(seeing that Chichikov was as rich as a Jew) but for the obstacle thatChichikov had deserted a wife already (how the worthy dames came toknow that he was married remains a mystery), and the said deserted wife,pining with love for her faithless husband, had sent the Governor aletter of the most touching kind, so that Chichikov, on perceiving thatthe father and mother would never give their consent, had decided toabduct the girl. In other circles the matter was stated in a differentway. That is to say, this section averred that Chichikov did NOT possessa wife, but that, as a man of subtlety and experience, he had bethoughthim of obtaining the daughter's hand through the expedient of firsttackling the mother and carrying on with her an ardent liaison, andthat, thereafter, he had made an application for the desired hand, butthat the mother, fearing to commit a sin against religion, and feelingin her heart certain gnawings of conscience, had returned a blankrefusal to Chichikov's request; whereupon Chichikov had decided to carryout the abduction alleged. To the foregoing, of course, there becameappended various additional proofs and items of evidence, in proportionas the sensation spread to more remote corners of the town. At length,with these perfectings, the affair reached the ears of the Governor'swife herself. Naturally, as the mother of a family, and as the firstlady in the town, and as a matron who had never before been suspected ofthings of the kind, she was highly offended when she heard the stories,and very justly so: with the result that her poor young daughter, thoughinnocent, had to endure about as unpleasant a tete-a-tete as ever befella maiden of sixteen, while, for his part, the Swiss footman receivedorders never at any time to admit Chichikov to the house.

  Having done their business with the Governor's wife, the ladies' partydescended upon the male section, with a view to influencing it to theirown side by asserting that the dead souls were an invention used solelyfor the purpose of diverting suspicion and successfully affecting theabduction. And, indeed, more than one man was converted, and joined thefeminine camp, in spite of the fact that thereby such seceders incurredstrong names from their late comrades--names such as "old women,""petticoats," and others of a nature peculiarly offensive to the malesex.

  Also, however much they might arm themselves and take the field, themen could not compass such orderliness within their ranks as could thewomen. With the former everything was of the antiquated and rough-hewnand ill-fitting and unsuitable and badly-adapted and inferior kind;their heads were full of nothing but discord and triviality andconfusion and slovenliness of thought. In brief, they displayedeverywhere the male bent, the rude, ponderous nature which is incapableeither of managing a household or of jumping to a conclusion, as wellas remains always distrustful and lazy and full of constant doubt andeverlasting timidity. For instance, the men's party declared that thewhole story was rubbish--that the alleged abduction of the Governor'sdaughter was the work rather of a military than of a civilian culprit;that the ladies were lying when they accused Chichikov of the deed;that a woman was like a money-bag--whatsoever you put into her shethenceforth retained; that the subject which really demanded attentionwas the dead souls, of which the devil only knew the meaning, but inwhich there certainly lurked something that was contrary to good orderand discipline. One reason why the men's party was so certain that thedead souls connoted something contrary to good order and discipline,was that there had just been appointed to the province a newGovernor-General--an event which, of course, had thrown the whole armyof provincial tchinovniks into a state of great excitement, seeing thatthey knew that before long there would ensue transferments and sentencesof censure, as well as the series of official dinners with which aGovernor-General is accustomed to entertain his subordinates. "Alas,"thought the army of tchinovniks, "it is probable that, should he learnof the gross reports at present afloat in our town, he will make such afuss that we shall never hear the last of them." In particular didthe Director of the Medical Department turn pale at the thought thatpossibly the new Governor-General would surmise the term "dead folk"to connote patients in the local hospitals who, for want of properpreventative measures, had died of sporadic fever. Indeed, might it notbe that Chichikov was neither more nor less than an emissary of the saidGovernor-General, sent to conduct a secret inquiry? Accordingly he (theDirector of the Medical Department) communicated this last suppositionto the President of the Council, who, though at first inclined toejaculate "Rubbish!" suddenly turned pale on propounding to himself thetheory. "What if the souls purchased by Chichikov should REALLY bedead ones?"--a terrible thought considering that he, the President, hadpermitted their transferment to be registered, and had himself actedas Plushkin's representative! What if these things should reach theGovernor-General's ears? He mentioned the matter to one friend andanother, and they, in their turn, went white to the lips, for panicspreads faster and is even more destructive, than the dreaded blackdeath. Also, to add to the tchinovniks' troubles, it so befell thatjust at this juncture there came into the local Governor's hands twodocuments of great importance. The first of them contained advices that,according to received evidence and reports, there was operating in theprovince a forger of rouble-notes who had been passing under variousaliase
s and must therefore be sought for with the utmost diligence;while the second document was a letter from the Governor of aneighbouring province with regard to a malefactor who had there evadedapprehension--a letter conveying also a warning that, if in the provinceof the town of N. there should appear any suspicious individual whocould produce neither references nor passports, he was to be arrestedforthwith. These two documents left every one thunderstruck, for theyknocked on the head all previous conceptions and theories. Not fora moment could it be supposed that the former document referred toChichikov; yet, as each man pondered the position from his own point ofview, he remembered that no one REALLY knew who Chichikov was; as alsothat his vague references to himself had--yes!--included statements thathis career in the service had suffered much to the cause of Truth, andthat he possessed a number of enemies who were seeking his life. Thisgave the tchinovniks further food for thought. Perhaps his life reallyDID stand in danger? Perhaps he really WAS being sought for by some one?Perhaps he really HAD done something of the kind above referred to? As amatter of fact, who was he?--not that it could actually be supposed thathe was a forger of notes, still less a brigand, seeing that his exteriorwas respectable in the highest degree. Yet who was he? At lengththe tchinovniks decided to make enquiries among those of whom he hadpurchased souls, in order that at least it might be learnt what thepurchases had consisted of, and what exactly underlay them, and whether,in passing, he had explained to any one his real intentions, or revealedto any one his identity. In the first instance, therefore, resort washad to Korobotchka. Yet little was gleaned from that source--merelya statement that he had bought of her some souls for fifteen roublesapiece, and also a quantity of feathers, while promising also to buysome other commodities in the future, seeing that, in particular, he hadentered into a contract with the Treasury for lard, a fact constitutingfairly presumptive proof that the man was a rogue, seeing that just suchanother fellow had bought a quantity of feathers, yet had cheated folkall round, and, in particular, had done the Archpriest out of over ahundred roubles. Thus the net result of Madame's cross-examination wasto convince the tchinovniks that she was a garrulous, silly old woman.With regard to Manilov, he replied that he would answer for Chichikov ashe would for himself, and that he would gladly sacrifice his property intoto if thereby he could attain even a tithe of the qualities whichPaul Ivanovitch possessed. Finally, he delivered on Chichikov, withacutely-knitted brows, a eulogy couched in the most charming of terms,and coupled with sundry sentiments on the subject of friendship andaffection in general. True, these remarks sufficed to indicate thetender impulses of the speaker's heart, but also they did nothing toenlighten his examiners concerning the business that was actually athand. As for Sobakevitch, that landowner replied that he consideredChichikov an excellent fellow, as well as that the souls whom he hadsold to his visitor had been in the truest sense of the word alive, butthat he could not answer for anything which might occur in the future,seeing that any difficulties which might arise in the course of theactual transferment of souls would not be HIS fault, in view of the factthat God was lord of all, and that fevers and other mortal complaintswere so numerous in the world, and that instances of whole villagesperishing through the same could be found on record.

  Finally, our friends the tchinovniks found themselves compelled toresort to an expedient which, though not particularly savoury, is notinfrequently employed--namely, the expedient of getting lacqueys quietlyto approach the servants of the person concerning whom information isdesired, and to ascertain from them (the servants) certain details withregard to their master's life and antecedents. Yet even from this sourcevery little was obtained, since Petrushka provided his interrogatorsmerely with a taste of the smell of his living-room, and Selifanconfined his replies to a statement that the barin had "been in theemployment of the State, and also had served in the Customs."

  In short, the sum total of the results gathered by the tchinovniks wasthat they still stood in ignorance of Chichikov's identity, but that heMUST be some one; wherefore it was decided to hold a final debate on thesubject on what ought to be done, and who Chichikov could possibly be,and whether or not he was a man who ought to be apprehended and detainedas not respectable, or whether he was a man who might himself be ableto apprehend and detain THEM as persons lacking in respectability. Thedebate in question, it was proposed, should be held at the residence ofthe Chief of Police, who is known to our readers as the father and thegeneral benefactor of the town.