Love Me Like You Do: Books That Keep You In Bed
Page 88
But then he reached across the table and grabbed my hands. “Mady, please hear me out. I swear, I didn’t accuse him of anything. I told him that you couldn’t make the meeting, so I filled in on your behalf. And based on the conversations you two had regarding certain terms, I was confused why they hadn’t been amended in the final contact he provided. That’s it.”
If he were lying, then he was damn good, but I had a hard time believing that. There was such an overwhelming sense of truth in his eyes that I couldn’t help but trust him.
“As far as him being inappropriate, I simply mentioned that a man in his position should think twice before engaging a woman in that manner. And I’d like to point out that I would’ve said the exact same thing even if we weren’t romantically involved. I think of it more as a big brother move. If anything, I was giving him solid advice to keep his name and company out of the headlines.”
I pulled my hands away and placed them in my lap. I wasn’t ready to let this go just yet. “Apparently, this meeting was set up through Instagram—under my account. I gave you permission to contact him, but you took it to another level. You purposely led him to believe he was meeting with me. Why? And if you feel so justified in what you did, why did you delete the message?”
“He wouldn’t have shown up unless he thought it was you.” Finn huffed and scrubbed his face with his palms, as if this conversation exhausted him. “And I deleted the message in case you saw it before I was able to meet him. I didn’t want you to call it off before I had a chance to sit down with him to discuss my concerns.”
Even though his reasoning made sense, it was still a dirty move. “I’m not going to lie, Finn…the fact that you’re getting so involved in my business that you’re practically pushing me out of things makes me a little uneasy. I don’t appreciate anyone trying to take control while I’m kept in the dark like that.”
“I’m sorry, Mady. I really am. I didn’t mean for you to feel like I was trying to control anything. I just know how sweet you are, how soft-spoken you can be with those you aren’t very comfortable with. And I worry that this Mickey guy—or anyone else like him—will use that to manipulate you.”
I couldn’t fault him for that, considering I was well aware of how easily I could be taken advantage of—it’d happened more times in my life than I’d care to count. However, that didn’t mean I couldn’t take care of myself, and I needed Finn to understand that.
“Why did you even have to meet with him in the first place?” I asked, needing all the answers before this conversation ended. “Why not just email him? Or put it all in a message. You could’ve still done that from my account, pretending to be me, and gotten your point across all the same.”
“Because if he already thinks he can manipulate you, having it come from you wouldn’t make much of a difference. I needed him to see me. To know that you have someone in your corner watching out for you.”
“So you were trying to bully him?”
Finn laughed, but not of the humorous variety. It was barked and filled to the brim with sarcasm. “Are you kidding me right now, Mady? Bullying him? I just told you everything that transpired during that conversation. If anything, my hope was that he’d be a little intimidated, but only to force him to realize that you’re not a doormat. Since when is sticking up for someone, making sure they aren’t being taken advantage of, a bad thing?”
This was another reason why I hated confrontation—because it always reached a point where I didn’t have anything else to come back with. Words had always been a struggle for me; my brain didn’t operate as quickly as I needed. I knew, without fail, that I’d think of something an hour or two later, which would be pointless. We were here now, yet now, I didn’t have anything to say. So, I closed my eyes and pulled in a long, slow breath.
“What did he say to you, anyway?”
I hesitated, studying a few scuff marks on the kitchen table. “He thanked me for getting the signed contract back to him in a timely manner and apologized for making me uncomfortable. Then he mentioned how he wished I had been able to make it to the meeting to tell him myself, that he felt like I had sent my henchman in my place. That was when I started to question things. I asked, and he told me everything.”
“Well, it doesn’t sound like he told you everything, considering he embellished and made it sound worse than it was. I swear, Mady…I kept my promise and made sure the entire conversation was purely professional. No matter how I feel about someone, I would never do anything to jeopardize your name or any deal you’ve taken on.”
Regardless of how badly I wanted to stay mad, for no other reason than to let him know I wouldn’t tolerate this happening again, I couldn’t ignore the forlorn look in his eyes. They were a cloudy mixture of blue and green, giving me an insight into his mood. I’d come to learn that when they were mint-green, he was happy—not just content but blissful. Faded teal meant he was tired, and greyish green meant he was turned on. Now, it seemed as though this new color represented sorrow or repentance. With just one look into his eyes, I knew, without a doubt, that he was genuinely sorry for upsetting me. While at the same time, not regretting what he’d done—only how he’d gone about it.
“I just think we need to establish more rules—about how you assist me.” I had a horrible habit of giving everyone the benefit of the doubt, which was probably why I’d stayed in so many bad relationships way past the expiration date. But I felt in my gut that he deserved my faith in him. This time. “I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, so please, don’t think I don’t.”
He held up his hands and leaned back in his chair. “I get it. And from now on, I’ll discuss everything with you first.”
“And”—I pointed at him—“if I’m not okay with it, then you don’t do it. I get the final say in what happens and what doesn’t where my business is concerned.”
“Agreed.”
I pushed the chair back to stand but stopped when I thought of one more thing to say. “Thank you for trying to look out for me. Honestly, Finn…it means a lot. But please trust that I’m capable of doing the same. If you have any reason to believe I’m not doing enough, or that I’m overlooking something, then, by all means, talk to me about it.”
“I will. And again, I’m really sorry, Mads.”
Nodding, I stood and headed to the bathroom to take a breather. I knew that once I returned to the kitchen that everything would be back to normal between us. Well, maybe not immediately, but it would be after a short conversation or two about nothing. One thing was for sure, though: I hated being upset with him. There was something about it that filled me with sadness, almost as much as when he was upset with me.
* * *
Every year, Nellie’s parents held an Easter egg hunt at their house. Normally, Julie and I would go just to keep Nellie entertained—her parents could be a bit much at times. But this year, she seemed to be keeping herself entertained. We just weren’t sure with what.
“Is it just me, or does Nellie seem pissed at the world one minute and then a total baseket case the next?”
Without pulling the straw from her mouth, Julie turned to look at me and shook her head in that hell-if-I-know kind of way. She finished swallowing her fruity cocktail and said, “I think she’s fighting with Brooke, but I don’t know what about.”
It wasn’t that unusual for those two. They’d known each other since they were kids, so if anyone in our group had an issue with another, it would be Brooke and Nellie. And when that happened, Julie and I tended to stay out of it. They didn’t argue often, but when they did, it was more like bickering sisters. And since I’d grown up with my own, I knew how it worked—once they got it out of their systems, it would be like nothing happened.
“I think I’ve only seen Brooke once today.”
“Mmm-hmm.” She continued to follow me, studying the grass for hidden eggs. The adult egg hunt was what made the visit worthwhile. Some had chocolate inside, others had lottery tickets, and some even had
cash. So far, I’d only found ones with fancy candy.
That would be my luck.
Apparently, everyone in our group was out of sorts today, because rather than remain engaged in our conversation, Julie toyed with her straw while barely paying attention to anything around her. I’d only been here for a couple of hours, but it had already proven a smart decision not to bring Finn.
I stopped and looked at her. “Are you all right?”
“Huh?” Julie shook her head, as if she’d just realized I was in front of her. “Oh, yeah. I’m fine.” She waved me off and added, “I’m just focused on finding the good eggs.”
That was a lie, but I’d let it go. Between Brooke disappearing and Nellie running around like a madwoman on the loose, I didn’t think I could handle another friend’s crisis. Instead, I made a mental note to call her in the morning and try again. She was my best friend, so while I’d give her a pass this time, I certainly wouldn’t let it go on for too long. I may have kept myself busy, but I always made time for those I cared about.
“Everything going well at work?” I asked, trying to make small talk.
“Yup. Same thing different night.”
“Any new hot doctors?” We’d always tried to convince her to hook up with a sexy surgeon, which she claimed didn’t exist. But we’d all seen Grey’s Anatomy, so we knew better. It was just a matter of getting her on board.
“How many times do I have to tell you guys that TV shows are scripted? They hire good-looking actors for a reason. In real life, the sexy ones are taken, and if they’re willing to hook up in the on-call room, then they aren’t my type. Most of them are old and have no interest in hanging out at the nurse’s station.”
“That’s because you’re in the wrong department. You need to be transferred to the pediatric wing. I hear that’s where all the young available ones are.” I winked and continued to scour the yard for more eggs.
Julie just rolled her eyes and let out a short, huffed laugh. “What about you? How’s it going with Finn? You haven’t said anything since you called last week. How’d that conversation go?”
The only reason I’d avoided saying anything to her about it was because I didn’t really know how to explain it without giving everything away. And while I wasn’t intentionally keeping my relationship from her, I just hadn’t found the right time to bring it up. Even now was a bad time, with Nellie stomping around the yard.
So, I settled with vague. “Yeah, it’s good. Mickey made it sound like Finn had gone after him, but Finn’s version was much different. He said it was a normal, calm conversation, with no accusations or threats. It’s basically a he-said-he-said situation.”
“Who do you believe?”
“Finn.” I didn’t even need to think about that answer.
She stilled and narrowed her gaze on me, a wicked grin lifting one side of her mouth higher than the other. “What’s going on between the two of you? And if you say nothing, I’m going to smack you for lying to me.”
Apparently, I wasn’t going to get out of this one. “It’s complicated.”
“Oh, come on, stinkface.” She playfully elbowed me in the side. “Don’t deny me the goods. I could really do with some hot gossip, so spill the beans, missy!”
“There’s really no beans to spill. I got drunk and tried to take advantage of him at my uncle’s birthday party, but he turned me down. I woke up the next morning and found him on my couch, to which he forced me to have a conversation about everything. Turns out, he wanted to continue whatever we started at the ranch but was too worried about his job.”
Julie interrupted me by clutching her chest and laughing at the sky, the way a wolf would howl at the moon. “Girl, if you think you’re going to convince me that you don’t have beans to spill, you’re sadly mistaken. Now, slow your roll and tell me everything.”
“Well, we’re together, but he’s still my assistant, so we’re trying to keep things from getting mucky. It’s only been a couple of weeks, and we’ve already gotten into a fight because of blurred lines.” My shoulders slumped forward as I huffed. “I have a feeling that, sooner or later, we’re going to have to make a choice, work or us, and I’m really not looking forward to making it.”
“Why will you have to choose? Why can’t you have both? Lots of couples work together.”
“I don’t know, Jules…you know how I am with possessive and controlling guys, and while he doesn’t really seem to be that type, I can’t help but pick up on the traits from time to time. Honestly, my biggest worry is that I’ll get more attached than I already am, only to find out that he’s no different than the others.”
Rubbing the back of my shoulder in small, reassuring circles, she said, “I realize I don’t know Finn, but I have a good feeling about him. I really don’t think you have to worry about him being like every other guy. You’ve said it yourself…he’s not your type. Maybe that’s what you needed—someone completely different from the douchebags you’re used to dating.”
“I’ve thought about that, too.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
I shrugged and continued to scout the grass for eggs to avoid eye contact. “Finn is an amazing assistant. He’s set the bar so high that I’m convinced no one could ever fill his shoes. And while I’m aware that we could continue what we have without losing the business side of things, I’m also aware that we could break up, and then I’ll lose both.”
“My advice would be to take it one day at a time, Mady. There’s no sense in giving up something great to keep an amazing assistant. I know you say you’ll never find anyone to fill his shoes, and maybe that’s true, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find someone who can help you in other ways—ways that he can’t.”
She was right. Hell, Julie was always right when it came to my relationships. Every time I’d start dating someone new, she had something to say about it. And in the end, her predictions were spot-on. I’d always joked about her being a fortune teller, so if she had a good feeling about Finn—especially without ever truly meeting him—then I had to trust her gut.
Just then, Nellie stormed inside, her brother following closely behind. It was enough to call the attention of anyone near the back of the house, and it made me wonder if she hadn’t been fighting with Brooke, but her brother instead. It wouldn’t surprise me. Nellie’s family made mine look like the mafia version of the Brady Bunch.
After that, things just got uncomfortable, so Julie and I decided to leave before we found ourselves in the middle of a family dispute. We gathered our eggs—none of which were the esteemed golden egg of cash—and snuck out through the side yard. And after saying goodbye to each other, we both went our separate ways.
Since Finn hadn’t gone with me, a decision we’d made together, the plan was that I’d go to his house after the party. It was a Sunday, which meant I wouldn’t be spending the night, but at least we could have dinner together and enjoy whatever time we had left in the day.
I’d barely gotten out of the neighborhood when my phone rang. Assuming it was Finn checking on me, I quickly answered, only to be disappointed when I heard my mom’s voice come through the car speakers. “You’ve had me worried; I haven’t heard from you in weeks.”
Knowing she couldn’t see me, I rolled my eyes.
“Don’t roll your eyes, Madelynn. It’s unbecoming.”
I slowed to a stop at the red light just outside Nellie’s parents’ neighborhood and searched my car for a hidden camera. “I didn’t. And it hasn’t been weeks. You called me a few days ago.”
“Yeah, and you said you’d call me back. I’m still waiting for the phone to ring.”
“Sorry, Ma. I’ve been a little busy.” There was no point getting into the details with her, considering she was clueless when it came to social media, let alone what actually went into my job. In her opinion, I sat at home and did nothing. “I’m in the car, so you’ve got about fifteen minutes. What’s up?”
“Well, I guess that’s enough
time if we talk fast. I wanted to discuss the plans for next weekend.” Next Sunday was Easter, and my parents always hosted the holiday at their house. There were never any invites; we were all just expected to show up.
Ever since my uncle Tony’s party, I’d been dreading Easter. I wanted Finn to come with me, but I didn’t exactly want to subject him to my family so soon after last time. That, and I wasn’t sure how to explain to my parents why I wanted to bring him along. But after today, I realized I wanted to spend the holiday with him, as long as he didn’t object.
“Yeah, about that…” I accelerated when the light changed to green and focused on the road to keep from chickening out. “Would it be okay if I brought someone?”
She was quiet for a moment, as if I’d taken her by surprise, but then she asked, “Who?”
“You remember my assistant, Finn, right?”
“How could I forget? Of course, Madelynn, we’d love to have him.” Then she lowered her voice, making me wonder if my dad was in the room with her. “Are you two…dating or something?”
“Ma! What’s with all the questions?”
Her laughter carried through the line and filled my car. “That was one question, honey.”
“He’s my assistant,” I argued, like that would pacify her.
“Then why bring him to Easter dinner?”
“Why not? My old assistant used to go all the time.”
I was met with silence, then a very hesitant, “Yes, sweetheart, because your old assistant is your sister.”
“I don’t see why that matters.” Avoiding giving my mother an answer was next to impossible. After all these years, one would think I’d give up trying, but as long as I wanted a little bit of privacy, I’d never give up.
“Why won’t you tell me if there’s anything between you two?”
“He doesn’t have any family in town, and I would feel bad making him spend the day all alone when there’ll be tons of food at your house.”