Love Me Like You Do: Books That Keep You In Bed

by Fields, MJ

  I turn my wet face to him. “I’m so embarrassed.”

  “You shouldn’t be. You did everything right. I am so very proud of you, and I’m so sorry I didn’t get your call last night. When I think of what could have happened …” He closes his eyes tight as if imagining it. “Thank God you remembered Cross’s number, and he actually picked up the fucking call.”

  He is angry with himself. He should not be angry with himself. None of this is his fault. I wouldn’t have answered a strange number at two a.m. either. I reach over and tightly hug him. He gently rubs my hair and hugs me back.

  “It is okay. I wouldn’t have answered an unknown number in the middle of the night either. This is not your fault. This is all my fault.”

  He pulls back and looks me dead in the eyes. “No, ma’am. A girl should be able to go out on a date with a man without worrying about being assaulted. This is most definitely not your fault.”

  “It’s Calvacanti’s fault. His and his alone,” Cross hisses.

  After they have me calmed down and Marianna comes to check and redress my head and my arm, Cross informs me that she is going to stay with me for a while, so he and Nicco can run an errand.

  “No, please don’t go.” I cling to him.

  “I won’t be long, Tesoro.” He kisses the top of my head. “Marianna is going to make us all dinner, and we will eat and watch a movie when we get back.”

  “I don’t want you or any of my brothers to get into any trouble because of me,” I whisper.

  He sits down on the bed beside me.

  “We have to handle this, Gabby. We want to get your belongings back, and we have to deal with Bryant and Dante now. When we are done, I can guarantee no other girl will ever walk into one of Bryant’s house parties without him making extra sure she knows exactly what she is there for.”

  “What about Dante?”

  “I had my go at him last night. Now, it’s your brothers’ turns. It is up to them what happens to him. I just want to get your things back to you.”

  “Do you have to tell them?” I’m still so ashamed.

  “Yes, I already have told them. This is not something I could keep from them.”

  I swallow my tears. “Please don’t let them do anything that will land them in serious trouble. He is not worth them going to jail. Please, Cross, promise me.”

  “I will do my best.”

  That’s all I can hope for at this point. I can imagine the state Tony is in. He will kill Dante if he is left alone with him. I just know it.

  I watch as Cross and Nicco head out to meet him, hopefully, they can keep him at bay. I look over at Marianna, who is starting to chop vegetables. She seems as worried as I am.

  “Can I help?”

  “Sure, if you feel up to it.”

  We cook in nervous silence and wait for the guys to return.

  Twenty-Five

  Brie - Present

  It’s Christmas Eve. Uncle Matt and Susan invited me to come stay at their home through Christmas. They said I should be with family. I declined. I don’t want to impose. I came tonight to eat and exchange gifts with them, but I plan to go back to the apartment and celebrate Jesus’s birth alone with a pint of Haagen-Dazs Rum Raisin. I truly am fine. I thought I would have a harder time, but I survived last year away from home, and honestly, this year, I’m enjoying my alone time.

  Jake left for Aspen with his parents and sisters last night. It’s their family tradition to spend Christmas Eve through New Year’s Day in Aspen. He wanted to stay behind this year for me, but I encouraged him to go. Traditions are something you should keep. I agreed to him coming home a day early though, so we could ring the New Year in together. That appeased him, and I’m looking so forward to it. I’m going to miss him while he is gone. My barriers are coming down brick by brick, and my feelings for him are getting stronger every day.

  We are gathered in front of the tree and about to exchange gifts. I could not do much, but I managed to find them all a little something that reminded me of them. A spa package at the club for Susan—thanks to my employee discount rate, which I am pretty sure did not exist until Mr. Cloniger decided it did for me—and a pair of vintage Ray-Ban aviators for Uncle Matt because he is too cool for the awful shades he has been wearing.

  Kelsey’s and Dawn’s gifts—handmade earrings by a local artist—are back home. We will be exchanging gifts next week, as Kels is celebrating with her dad and his family tonight.

  Daniel opens his gift next, and it is a handmade leather guitar case. I noticed the one he carries around has seen better days, and the zipper is always getting stuck. So, when a man who owned a fetish leather shop in LA hired me for private tennis lessons, I got the idea. His shop specializes in hand-tooled masks and crops and things of that nature, but he could do anything. He told me, while we were playing one afternoon, that he had hand-made a clarinet case for his daughter who was in her middle school band, and that was when I asked if he could do a custom guitar case for Daniel. He agreed to give it a shot, and since it was his first one, he did it for a steal. I had Daniel’s initials branded into the side, and his band’s logo was emblazoned on the front. I think it is beautiful, and the smell of the new leather when you open it is heavenly.

  “Brie”—he reverently runs his hands over the logo—“this is amazing.”

  “Do you really like it?”

  “Like it? Are you kidding me? It’s cool as shit,” he exclaims as he unzips the case and looks inside. “This must have been expensive.”

  “Not as much as you might think.”

  He gives me a look that says he doesn’t believe me, and I’m so happy I was able to give him something he loves. He has been a lifesaver. Truly. This transition would have been so much harder for me without him.

  We continue opening boxes, and they have spoiled me. I am the proud new owner of a couple of Tarte eye-shadow palettes, a pair of Jimmy Choos, a toggle bracelet from Tiffany with a signature blue enamel cupcake charm, a Givenchy handbag, and a new generation iPhone because mine is on its last legs.

  The doorbell rings a few minutes later.

  “I think that maybe your last present just arrived, Brie.”

  Daniel hops up and walks to the foyer. I wonder what he could have gotten me that is being delivered this late on Christmas Eve.

  I look at Susan. “What in the world? You guys have already gotten me so much. I don’t need another gift.”

  She just grins conspiratorially as we hear the door open and close.

  He walks back in and announces, “It is. Right on time, too.”

  He steps to the side, and there, standing behind him, with a huge smile on his face, is my big brother Nicco. I leap to my feet and run into his arms. He catches me and then picks me up and twirls me around. A cry of pure joy escapes me, and he puts me down and raises my chin.

  “I hope those are happy tears, cara.”

  They definitely are. As much as I have convinced myself I am perfectly content on my own, I’m over the moon to lay my eyes on my big brother.

  “Of course they are. But why are you here? Is it only you? Don’t you want to be home for Christmas? What about the boys and Marianna?” I start hurling question after question at him in rapid succession because I can’t believe he is here.

  “Well, for one thing, Marianna and I broke up months ago, and Mamma was more than happy to let me out of family obligations when she heard I was coming to California.”

  Mamma. I have only spoken to her a handful of times since I left. She is my biggest ally in this move. Although it’s silent encouragement at this point. Papa is not happy. He likes his children under his thumb.

  I can still remember the day I told them. I had already been gone almost a year. I had run away and hadn’t even said good-bye. I sent word through Una that I was okay and that I just needed some time for myself. I let them know that I was going to spend a year backpacking through Europe with some friends I had made during my time in Paris. For over eight mont
hs, I had zero contact. No technology. No telephone. Nothing.

  He has never forgiven me.

  When I came home, I told them I had decided, while on my journey of self-exploration, that I wanted to go to school far away. It just added insult to injury. He forbade me to leave and threatened to have his men come to drag me home wherever I landed. That was when Mamma stepped in. I had never really witnessed her go against my papa before. He was furious at us both, but when she said that, if he did not let me go, then she and I would go, he relented. He did not want me out of his life, but he could not imagine his world without her.

  He has not spoken to me since. Not one word.

  As hard as it is, it has been for the best. It has made it so much easier to cut ties to my old life.

  “How long are you here? Dawn is with her family, and Kelsey is staying here through the holidays, so you can stay with me at the apartment for a week or so.”

  “Thanks, sis. Actually, that will work out well. I can stay with you while Daniel and I look for a place.”

  “What? Look for a place?” I ask, confused.

  “That’s right,” Daniel chimes in. “Nicco called and said he was thinking about moving out here, and I told him to get on a plane. I would love a roommate. It’s about time I move out of the pool house, don’t you think?”

  I look back and forth between the two of them. “Are you serious? You are here to stay?”

  As thrilled as I am to see him, I’m not sure this is something I want. It’s hard to be independent when you have a big brother hovering, especially one who hasn’t cut ties to the people in your past that you have.

  “Yes, Brie. After Marianna and I split, I decided I could use a fresh start, too. Moving out here will get me out of a lot of things back home, too.”

  He gives me a pointed look, and I know exactly what he means. If he is here, looking after me, then he does not have to work for our papa. I’m instantly okay with him staying.

  “Welcome home, big brother.”

  He smiles, and I rejoice. One more of us is free. We are a team now. In a way, we always have been.

  * * *

  “Here we are. Home sweet home.”

  Nicco sets his bags down by the door and checks out the apartment. “This place is nice. I half-expected to find you living in squalor in some run-down shack, being as you have returned every check I have sent you.” He looks at me accusingly.

  “Taking money Mamma is trying to feed me through you is not me making my own way. I told you both, I wanted to do this on my own.”

  “So hardheaded,” he declares, shaking his head. “There is nothing wrong with family helping you out. As much as you want to be independent, we will always be your family.”

  “I know that,” I say under my breath.

  “Do you? I know things got ugly for you in New York, but are you sure running away was the answer?”

  “It was the only choice I had. I know you guys did not understand, but I had to go. Please, can we talk about something else?” I plead.

  “Yes, we can. That’s all water under the bridge now anyway. I’m kind of running away myself, so who am I to judge you anymore?”

  “All right, so if you are going to stay here—and by here, I mean, in California—we have to set a couple of ground rules, okay?”

  “Hmm, let’s hear them first before I agree.”

  “First, no trying to feed me money and no reporting back to Mamma and Papa. You are not going to spy on me for them. Capisce?”

  “Got it. No spying,” he agrees.

  “Second—and this is the most important rule—you absolutely do not ever bring him up. Not ever. I mean it, Nicco. He does not exist here. Do you understand?”

  He looks me dead in the eye and says, “I understand, sis. I did not come here to bring any of that shit to your doorstep. I won’t so much as utter his name. Ever.”

  “Thank you.” I blow out a breath I did not even realize I was holding. “Now, I’m going to leave you here to get settled in, and I am going to drive down the road to see the baby I nanny for. It’s his first Christmas. I told them I would come by on my way home tonight to help tuck him in, and his mom and I are going to read him The Night Before Christmas.”

  “Just like Mamma and Nonna used to do for us when we were little.”

  “Yeah. It is one of my very favorite Christmas Eve memories,” I say with a sad smile.

  “Take your time. I’m going to take a quick shower and unpack. We will talk more when you get back.”

  He hugs me once more, and I relax.

  “I really am happy you are here, Nicco. I missed you so much.”

  I leave him at the apartment and head to Rick and Melanie’s house. Cassian is already bathed and in his adorable Christmas onesie that matches his parents’ pajamas. I snap a picture for them in front of the tree for Melanie to place in the silver Baby’s First Christmas frame I bought them as a gift.

  After I rock him and we read him to sleep, I hold him close for a few extra moments and then gently lay him in his crib.

  “Merry Christmas, baby boy. I hope visions of sugarplums dance in your head all night long.” I kiss the top of his head, and we back out of his nursery as quietly as we can.

  Rick is loading Santa gifts under the tree when we walk back into the living room.

  “I wish I were going to be here to see the look on his face when he gets a load of all this loot,” I say in amusement.

  Rick stands back and assesses the massive display. “We might have gone a wee bit overboard. He is not even a year old.”

  “Well, he will only have his first Christmas once,” Melanie dismisses his comment.

  He looks at me and rolls his eyes. “I can’t imagine what his first birthday is gonna look like between the two of you.”

  He is right. At least half the boxes under that tree are from me. Every time I walked into a store the past few months, I walked out with something I had seen and just known he had to have. I am a sucker. What can I say?

  Rick heads off to bed, and Melanie and I walk into the kitchen. I tell her about my night and the big surprise.

  “Are you good with this?” she asks as she slides a mug of eggnog my way.

  “I think so. I’m a little apprehensive, if I am being honest, but I can’t explain the elation that washed over me when he walked through that door. I love my brothers, and Nicco and I have always been closest. I just hope he doesn’t bring anything or anyone else from my past into my present.”

  Melanie is the only one here who knows my whole story. She knows all my secrets. It’s like she is my surrogate mom. I trust her.

  “I, for one, am happy he is here. I know you think you have to be an island, Brie, but you don’t. I think having him here will be good for you.”

  “I sure hope you are right.”

  Twenty-Six

  Gabby - Past

  When the boys return from their visit to SoHo, they have Tony, Stavros, and Lorenzo in tow. Tony comes through the door, takes one look at my face, and walks right back out. We can hear the explosion of expletives coming from the stoop and then a crash. Stav hurries out after him, and they come in a few seconds later and wrap Tony’s hand in ice. Apparently, he punched the brick wall of the garage. Remorse. I feel deep remorse for causing this reaction from my brothers.

  Tony notices my distress, and he comes and wraps me in his arms. “Do not be upset, cara. It doesn’t hurt at all.”

  “Liar,” I mumble into his shirt.

  “It might hurt a bit later, but I deserve it for not protecting my baby sister.”

  I pull back and look up at him. “You have always protected me. This was out of your control. You can’t be there every single second of my life, and even if you could, I would not let you.”

  He lifts my chin and plants a kiss on the tip of my nose, just like he did when I was little. “I will always try. Always.”

  I know it is true. For all of them, including Cross.

  Maria
nna sets plates around the island, and everyone eats. The boys are ravenous. I guess beating down your sister’s attacker works up a mighty hunger. Once they are sated, Tony, Stav, and Lo say their good-byes, but before they are out the door, Cross pats Tony on the back.

  “Tomorrow, yes?”

  Tony looks back at me for a long moment, and then he answers, “Yes, Christoff, tomorrow. She is safe here with you for the night?”

  “Safest place for her in the world.”

  Tony nods, and then they are gone, leaving me, Cross, Nicco, and Marianna to watch a movie.

  I must have dozed off at some point because, when I rouse, the movie is over, and Nicco and Marianna are gone. My head is in Cross’s lap, and he is stroking my hair. It feels nice.

  I can’t believe Nicco snuck out without saying good-bye. I thought that I might be leaving with them. I guess not. Looks like Cross is stuck with me again. I know I could go back to my apartment, but I really don’t feel like getting on the train tonight or asking Cross to drive me all the way back to the city.

  “You’re awake.”

  I look up at him and nod. “Did they leave without me?”

  He looks at me, confused or maybe bemused at my question.

  “Yes, you are staying with me for a while.”

  For a while? What does he mean, for a while?

  I lift my head and turn in his lap. “I appreciate you letting me stay last night and tonight. I honestly don’t want to be in the city right now, but I have to go home eventually.”

  He brushes the hair from my face and gently places it behind my ear. “You are home, Gabby.”

  “What?” Now, I’m the one confused.

  He places his forehead against mine, and our breaths mingle as I wait for him to explain. He closes his eyes, and he absentmindedly runs his hand up and down my spine.

  “I am done,” he starts. “Done pretending that I want to be friends. Done watching you date guy after guy. Done waiting to see if this is what you really want.” He opens his eyes and looks deep into mine. “You are mine.”