Before I can respond back, she hangs up. I call her needing to know what the hell is going on, but when I do, it goes straight to voicemail. She’s turned off her fucking phone.
Throwing my phone across the room, I hear it smash against the wall, but I don’t care. Nothing matters until I talk to Roxie again.
18
TWO WEEKS LATER
Roxie’s been avoiding me like the plague. She’s gone so far as disconnecting her phone or getting a new number in an attempt to break our communication. I’m not sure which, and I don’t know why. All I know is that a week ago when I tried to call her for the millionth time since the night Jeremy caught us, and she hung up on me, I got the message her phone has been disconnected or is no longer in service.
The only thing I can think of is that Jeremy demanded Roxie end all communication with me, or else he’d go to the Dean with the picture of her topless in my car and/or to the cops because I assaulted him.
Whatever it is, it isn’t good. I’m not sure how Roxie’s coping, but I’ve barely slept or eaten in the last two weeks. If school had been in session for these last two weeks, I’d be in trouble since I can’t concentrate on anything for shit.
Tomorrow I’m getting answers, though. Classes are starting back up, and I’m going to wait for Roxie outside her office until I talk to her. I don’t care if I have to wait all day and all night. She’s not going to be able to avoid me any longer.
Knowing I won’t be able to sleep for another night, I pull up Roxie’s Instagram. She hasn’t posted anything new in the last two weeks, but I don’t care. I miss her, and this is the only way I can look at her beautiful face since she wouldn’t let me take any pictures of her.
I’ve even tried to find Jeremy on social media to see what he’s been up to, but it’s impossible since I have no idea what his last name is. It’s not like he’s going to spell out his nefarious ways on social media about how he wants to fuck over my life. I mean, he might, but that wouldn’t be smart. I even asked my roommates if they know who he is and where he lives. Luckily for Jeremy, they have no clue who he is. Otherwise, I would have paid him a visit and kicked his ass all over again.
At some point, I must fall asleep while staring at pictures of Roxie and her brother since I wake up with my phone on my face, and it’s dead. Plugging it in since it’s both my clock and alarm, I hit the bathroom for a quick shower and to start my day of getting Roxie to talk to me.
After getting dressed, I have to wait for my phone to power back on. It’s only then I see it’s ten in the morning, and Roxie is probably already in class, which is perfect. I can wait outside her office until she has a break and finally get some answers.
Not wanting to waste any time, I drive the short distance to the science building and use the back entrance, putting me where the teachers’ offices are on the first floor.
All the doors are closed, but when I get to Roxie’s, I notice there’s a piece of paper on the door saying she’ll be gone for the week and classes will resume next week on Monday.
Is she seriously trying to avoid me and canceled her class for a week?
Unable to wait another week, I need to figure out some other way to get in touch with her. Somewhere at the school, they should have her address, but I have no idea how I’m going to convince anyone to give it to me. I’m sure that’s as frowned upon as sleeping with your students.
Knowing she’s going to be gone for the rest of the week, I decide I should probably go to my other two classes for the day. It won’t do me any good to sit outside her door unless someone takes pity on me and calls her for me. I’m not going to resort to that tactic. At least not yet. While I’m in my classes, I can figure out a plan to get Roxie’s home address or new phone number.
As I’m leaving the building, I notice the teacher’s mailboxes across from the vacant secretary’s desk. I search for Roxie’s name and find it on the left side at the end. Looking both ways, I see no one around and pull out all of her mail. At first, it’s just school memos and information about a facility lunch hosted by the science building, but then at the bottom of the stack, I find an envelope with her name and an address that isn’t the school. It must be her house, and if it isn’t, it may give me some clue as to where to find her. Taking a picture of the address with my phone, I put the mail back in her mailbox and leave the building, heading straight for my car.
Forget classes now that I might have a lead on where Roxie lives. I plug the address into my phone’s GPS and head to Roxie’s house—at least, I’m hoping it’s her house. I don’t plan on leaving until I get some answers. This has gone on for far too long.
It doesn’t take me long to arrive in a nice neighborhood on the outskirts of town. The streets are lined with palm trees, and all the yards are neatly manicured. It gives off a quaint vibe that I like. It fits Roxie.
Pulling up outside an older Mediterranean-style house, I park along the street, even as I see no signs of life inside. That doesn’t deter me, though. Nothing is going to get in my way of figuring out what the hell is going on. My only hope is this isn’t someone else’s house. That would be awkward, and I’m not sure how I’d explain myself.
Walking up the sidewalk, I take in the house before me. It’s a little old, but damn, do I wonder how she can afford a place like this on a professor’s salary at Willow Bay.
I ring the doorbell and step back. My gaze shoots from one window to the next, hoping to catch someone looking out or for any sign of moment. No one answers, so I ring and knock on the door this time. I almost give up and decide I’ll wait in my car when the front door opens and the man I saw come out of her office months ago answers the door. He doesn’t look happy. I’m not sure if it’s because of me or he doesn’t like being disturbed.
“Can I help you?” His voice is full of annoyance as his jaw clenches while he stares down at me.
Clearing my throat, I stand taller, not letting him see he’s intimidating the hell out of me the longer he stares at me. “Is Roxie here?”
“Are you the fucker who’s fucking up her life?” He growls and stands taller, blocking the entire entry.
“That’s probably me, yeah. I didn’t mean for anything bad to happen,” I hang my head at the end. Never did I want any bad repercussions to affect Roxie for her getting involved in me.
“Yeah, well—”
He’s cut off by Roxie pushing him to the side and then glaring up at him. “Let me handle this, Declan. It’s my mess, and I need to clean it up.”
“Oh, like the way you let me clean up mine,” he darkly chuckles as he turns around and strides back into the house with a slight limp.
Closing her eyes, Roxie leans her forehead against the door and sighs. With her sigh, her entire body deflates. “What are you doing here, Merrick, and how the hell did you find me?”
“The ‘how’ doesn’t matter, only that I did. Now, why don’t you tell me why you’ve been dodging my texts and calls. Did you change your number?”
She doesn’t look at me as she answers. “I’m doing it because it’s what’s for the best for the both of us. While you’re a student at Willow Bay, I can’t have any contact with you.”
“Why? We can continue to keep meeting up in the library or your office. Parking lots are now out the question for obvious reasons.”
“No, we can’t, Merrick. I thought by now you’d get the picture that I…” she shakes her head and then nods at nothing in particular. “I can’t be with you, plain and simple.”
“Is this because of Jeremy? What did he do?” I step closer and run the back of my knuckles along the soft skin of her cheek. “Did he threaten you?”
Roxie jerks away from my touch and looks around as if she’s afraid someone is watching us. “What do you think happened?” She snaps. “Yes, he threatened me, and the only way to get rid of him was to pay him off with money I didn’t have and had to ask my brother for. As you can imagine, he wasn’t too happy to find out about you while I’m asking for
thousands of dollars to pay off some asshole student of mine.”
I’m sure he wasn’t. I can’t believe Jeremy blackmailed her.
“If I see Jeremy again, I’m going to pound his fucking face into the ground,” I vow with my fists clenched at my sides. “Let me know how much your brother had to pay, and once I start working and get my bonus, I’ll pay him back.”
“It won’t be enough, Merrick. Plus, Declan doesn’t want your money. He just wants you to stay away from me.”
I jerk back, feeling like I’ve been slapped in the face. My insides feel like they’re being ripped out from my chest as I stare at her. I must have heard her wrong. “For how long?”
Her eyes turn glassy as she shakes her head. “I don’t know. Right now, he’s mad and threatening to leave and go back to Spain or some other country far away from me. You know I can’t let that happen.”
I do know, and I know there’s no way in hell she’s ever going to choose me. Not now. Not ever. It’s always going to be her brother, not that I blame her.
Taking her hand in mine, I have to swallow the lump in my throat when I try to speak. “I know this,” I gesture between her and me. “This was never serious for you, but it is, was, for me. I’ve never been in love before, but if the way my heart is twisting and pounding in my chest while I feel like I’m dying inside is any indication of what it feels like when your heart breaks, then this is love.”
It’s the first time I’ve noticed she’s not wearing makeup. Without her red lips and glasses, Roxie looks so much younger than she has every time I’ve seen her.
She chokes out my name as a tear slowly tracks down her cheek. When she opens her mouth, I press my finger to her lips.
I don’t want to hear what she has to say. It will only make everything about this so much harder.
Dropping her hand, I try to smile, but I know I fail. Stepping back, I take her in one last time. From her bare feet up to her hips and the tank top that is barely holding in her large breasts. Breasts that I know my marks are now long gone from and will likely never wear my marks again. I take the longest look at her face. Her brown eyes drown me in sadness. Her face is pale, and there are dark circles under her eyes, making it look as if she’s slept as little as I have since I last saw her.
“Have a good life, Roxie Hart. I hope you think of me fondly.”
Epilogue
MAY
Roxie
“Stop fidgeting,” I hiss at Declan.
“I can’t help it. Crowds give me hives.”
I turn and glare at him. “That’s a load of bullshit, and you and I both know it. You used to play in front of thousands of people and ate up every minute the crowd cheered you on.”
Leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, Declan hangs his head. “I’m not that guy anymore.”
He isn’t, and it kills me to see my once overly confident brother now shy away from the world. I only hope that with time he’ll accept this new phase in his life and move on happily.
Taking his hand in both of mine, I squeeze it as we watch each student receive their diplomas.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” He asks after a few more students walk across the stage.
“More than anything. For the last four months, I haven’t been able to get his heartbroken look out of my dreams. I guess I should call them my nightmares.”
Declan nods from beside me. “If I had known how you felt about him back then I—”
“You what? You wouldn’t have paid off that little shit? You’d have let me sneak around with Merrick?” I whisper-yell, furious at what I’ve given up for the last few months. “What if he’s found someone else?”
“If he’s gone and fallen in love with someone else in this short period of time, then it was never meant to be.”
“Easy for you to say. You and he can both have whoever you want,” I snap.
“You give yourself too little credit, Rox. You can have anyone you want. Forget what all those kids used to say. You’re beautiful inside and out, and any man would be lucky to have you.”
“You’re just saying that because I’m your sister. Most men don’t like… my curves.” I run my hand along the outline of my body.
“He did. Does,” he corrects himself. “I saw the way he looked at you, and that boy thought you hung the moon. I can promise you he’s not over you.” He shakes his head and chuckles darkly. “And if you think I can have whoever I want, you’re delusional. If I could have Dani back in my life…” he blows out a breath. “I’d do anything to get her back, but it’s too late.”
“Have you even tried to talk to her?” From what little I know, my brother shut her out of his life much the same way I did with Merrick and hasn’t spoken to her since he got hurt.
“She doesn’t need to worry about me. She still has another year of school and her soccer to think about. It wouldn’t be right to put my baggage on her.”
Wrapping my arm through his, I lay my head on his shoulder. “You’re so much better now, though. You’re getting around great, and the Blackhawks asked you to be their new assistant coach. You’re not some guy who’s lying around on my couch anymore. You’ve got a lot to offer if you just take that step.”
I feel him kiss the top of my head. “Why don’t we worry about your dating life for now and leave mine in the past where it belongs?”
Not wanting to fight with him, I keep any comments I want to say to myself. After this weekend, I’ll go back to badgering him about his love life.
“I’m proud to announce this year’s graduating class of…,” the Dean drones on for another few minutes, and all I can think about is how I’m going to see Merrick up close and personal very soon.
Once the Dean finishes his speech, the students below cheer and throw their caps in the air.
The entire time I keep my eyes on Merrick. He doesn’t cheer. He doesn’t even look happy. I’m not sure why I brought Declan here. I thought it would be easy to find Merrick after the ceremony and tell him all the things I couldn’t say the last time I saw him, but now I’m unsure of my plan. How will I find him in the sea of people below? He’s not expecting me to be here, so he won’t be looking for me.
“Hey, what’s with the long face?” Declan asks, putting his arm around me.
“Why did I think I could do this? He could very well be gone by the time we get done there and passed everyone,” I express my concerns as I watch what I’m guessing is Merrick’s family come up and hug him.
“Text him and let him know you want to see him before he leaves,” he says simply.
“He might not even see or feel the notification in time.”
Grabbing my shoulders, Declan leans down until we’re eye to eye. “Stop stalling and do something now before he leaves.”
“I know, but—”
“Do you want him in your life or not?” I think he’s annoyed I brought him along, and now I’m chickening out.
“I do,” I turn to look back at Merrick and see he’s weaving through the crowd like a man on a mission. What if he’s headed for his new girlfriend? I want to close my eyes and avoid that train wreck.
“Hey, look, he’s talking to his friend, and if you don’t want to miss him, you better hurry up and get down there.” Declan all but pushes me down the stairs. As my feet hit the floor, I look back to find my brother, only a foot behind me. He’s in a button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and a pair of dark-washed jeans. He looks good, and to see him be able to traverse the stairs easily brings a smile to my face. He’s come a long way.
Turning back around, I try to push through the crowd to get to Merrick, but life’s hard when you're short. No one seems to see me, and they can barely hear me over everyone talking. Declan passes me and takes me by the hand as he pushes through the throng of people, not giving a shit if he pisses anyone off.
Dropping my hand, Declan moves to the side. Standing in front of me is Merrick. I take him in, what little I can with his
gown hiding what’s underneath. His brown hair is a little messy on the top from his cap, and he’s grown out his usual five o’clock shadow into a trim beard that highlights his jawline. When I reach his brown eyes that are usually so full of life, I find them dull and lifeless.
I did this to him, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to fix the hurt I’ve caused him.
As if he can feel me looking him over, Merrick stops talking and looks my way. He shakes his head once and then rubs his eyes before shaking his head again.
“Roxie?” He questions disbelievingly.
“Hey, Merrick,” I choke out. “Congratulations.” I want to say more, but my words stick in my throat.
Merrick’s friend nudges him with his elbow, which seems to bring him out of the stupor he’s in.
“What are you doing here?” He steps closer but stops suddenly, his eyes trained onto something over my shoulder.
Unable to hold back, I close the remaining space between us and throw myself at him. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I bury my face into his chest and inhale his cedarwood scent. I thought I knew how much I missed him up until this moment, but I’ve been lying to myself. I can’t stop the tears once they start, much to my embarrassment.
“Is she okay?” I hear someone ask.
Rough hands that I know belong to Declan try to pull me back, making me only cry harder. I don’t want to leave. Not yet, when I have so much that I want to say.
“I’ve got her,” Merrick rumbles, his arms wrapping around me. He shuffles us around, and the next thing I know, the sound of the crowd is gone, and it’s only Merrick and me standing in a deserted hallway.
I look up at him to find his face creased with worry. I smile and wipe the tears from my face, knowing I probably look like a raccoon with mascara all over my face.
“I’m sorry,” I utter, my fingers hovering over his face, wanting to smooth out his worry but holding back.
Basic Chemistry: LOVE 101 - WILLOW BAY NOVELLA Page 10