Impossible Things (Star Shadow #2)

by Bolden, Beth

  “Maybe later,” Benji said. “After I’m finished with you.”

  Diego grinned, and pushed his jeans down after unbuttoning and unzipping them. He was lean and sparse, with just a little curve of his stomach that Benji wanted to fall to his knees and worship. He was gorgeous and perfect, literally everything he had ever wanted wrapped up into one irresistible package.

  He made a face as he started to take off his boxer briefs. “Ugh, note to self: dry humping against the wall is very sexy in the moment, and definitely not to be missed, but afterwards? Sort of messy.”

  Benji laughed as he pulled off his own jeans, followed by the sticky mess inside his briefs. He’d come less than five minutes ago, but he felt himself stirring at the shyly inquisitive glance Diego directed at his cock.

  He worked really fucking hard to look good, and so Benji felt pretty confident as he stepped past Diego and into the shower, moaning as the hot spray hit him.

  “You look . . .” Diego stood outside the shower, eyes hot and dark, hands clenched into fists.

  “Come in, the water’s awesome,” Benji said, trying not to sound too smug. Maybe if he’d known that his body was all it would take to break down Diego’s reservations about their relationship, he’d have stripped down a long time ago.

  “Just a second,” Diego said, and fished a hair tie out of a bin on the counter. He pulled his hair back, and it was like flashing back in time, to the first time they’d met, and there’d not been any hair to distract from that intensely gorgeous face. Just eyes and flawless nose and cheekbones that looked like they could cut diamonds.

  “If you ever say I have a man bun,” Diego said, “I will kill you slowly and painfully.”

  “Noted,” Benji said with amusement. “Are you going to get in or not?”

  “Yeah, I just . . .” Diego took a step closer and then another step, the spray of the shower misting over his features like a veil. “I sort of wanted to do something else.”

  “Anything,” Benji swore. “What is it? I’m not . . . the most experienced person with this stuff, but between the two of us, I figure we can muddle our way through. If it feels anything like what that did . . . I think we’re going to be great.”

  “Well.” Diego fidgeted again with his hair, tucking a loose strand behind his ear. Then unexpectedly went down on his knees right in front of Benji’s cock, which considering how short of a timeframe it had been since he’d come last, was surprisingly interested.

  Diego shot him a triumphant look. “I didn’t know if it would be too soon.”

  “It’s uh . . . clearly not,” Benji said breathlessly as Diego put a steadying hand onto his thigh. “You don’t . . . that’s not required, you know.”

  “Duh,” Diego said with a chuckle. “I want to. Do you have any objections?”

  Benji raised an eyebrow. Just the closeness of Diego and the anticipation of what was about to happen had him half-hard. “Does it look like I have any objections?”

  Diego laughed. “No. But I thought I’d ask anyway.”

  Diego approached a blowjob like he approached so many other things in life—carefully and deliberately, with an exploratory enjoyment that had Benji’s knees weak almost from the first experimental lick that Diego gave him.

  “You are unfairly good at this,” Benji ground out as Diego closed his hand around the base and gave a few pumps of his hand as his tongue flickered across and around the head. “I’m definitely not going to be this good.”

  Diego’s tongue curled around the underside and he chuckled, the vibration sending a shot of pleasure straight through to Benji’s toes. They curled into the tile almost reflexively. “I don’t even know what I’m doing.”

  “Just keep not knowing what you’re doing then,” Benji begged as the enticing, teasing touches continued, interspersed with moments when Diego would slide his cock into his mouth and it felt like he’d been set on fire, from the very top of his head to the soles of his feet.

  Benji didn’t know what Diego was comfortable with, so as much as he wanted to tangle his fingers in his hair, instead he slid his fingers against the tile and wished he could dig them in.

  In his wildest fantasies, he’d imagined how Diego might look, on his knees with his mouth full of Benji’s cock, and even though it pushed him way closer to his orgasm than he wanted, he couldn’t take his eyes off the rapturous image in front of him.

  “You’re so fucking gorgeous,” Benji moaned as Diego took him deep again. “I’m going to fucking come if you keep that up.”

  Diego did it again, and then slipped Benji’s cock out of his mouth, pumping him determinedly with his beautifully slim fingers curled all the way around him. Come spurted out of his dick and Benji’s head fell back against the tile as Diego worked him through his orgasm.

  “That was so fucking good,” Benji exhaled, as the water washed away the evidence and he helped Diego up. It had dwarfed completely any imaginary thoughts he’d once had, sending a surge of love and affection and desire through him. He leaned down and kissed Diego and moaned as he tasted himself on Diego’s tongue.

  Diego’s cock was hard against his thigh, and it was a no-brainer to reach down. He felt Diego’s whole body tremble as he wrapped his hand around it. “Feel good?” Benji murmured as Diego’s face went slack with pleasure.

  “Your hands,” Diego exhaled roughly. “Your fucking hands.”

  Apparently that was a thing for Diego, because he came so fast, flushed and overwhelmed as Benji’s hand worked him.

  After, they collapsed against the shower wall and let the water continue to run.

  “There’s some nice things about being rich,” Diego said philosophically, staring as the water cascaded down. “Not worrying about the utility bills is one of them.”

  “Amen to that,” Benji agreed.

  Finally, they went about washing themselves, and afterwards, dried off with a pair of big, fluffy towels that Diego had slipped onto the towel warmer before he’d gotten in the shower.

  “I could get used to this,” Benji admitted softly as they walked downstairs naked. There was no way any of Diego’s clothes were going to fit him, and his house was private enough, there wasn’t a reason to try to put his own back on.

  “Me too,” Diego agreed. He had pulled down plates from a cupboard and was in the process of reheating the pizza from the box on the counter.

  Benji took a sip of his beer and didn’t even care if it had gone warm and a little flat. It felt good slipping down his parched throat. “It was a long time coming.” He hesitated. “Any regrets?”

  Glancing over at him, Diego’s glance was warm. “None whatsoever. You?”

  Benji shrugged. “When it comes down to it, being with you is everything I ever wanted. Things got in the way for awhile, but now, it all feels very clear.”

  Setting the plate of pizza down, Diego put his hands against the edge of the counter and gave a helpless little laugh. “I thought so too, just today. I looked over at you with Ana, and thought, why can’t it be this way all the time? Was it really so hard to figure out what we wanted? Or were we just scared?”

  Benji set down his beer and walked over, smoothing a hand down Diego’s bare back, reveling in the texture and feel of his skin. It was hard to believe that he was really allowed to touch him like this now, but he was. “I think we were scared and there were a lot of good reasons, reasons that seemed fairly legitimate at the time, keeping us from just acting on our feelings. I mean, watching Leo and Caleb made it hard to believe that this was a good path to try, just for the hell of it. And by the time we realized it wasn’t just . . . sex or whatever, by the time we realized it was more, it was too late.”

  “Yeah,” Diego said, looking up at him lovingly. “You said it perfectly. It seemed like a lot to risk, in case it wasn’t something, but it was. It still is.” He paused, and Benji swore he felt his skin tremble under his touch. “I love you, you know. In case you didn’t already know.”

  It should
n’t have been a big deal. They’d felt this way for so damn long, but it was still everything to hear Diego say it. “I love you too,” Benji said softly. “I’m in love with you, in case there was any reason to doubt it.”

  “I don’t, I really, really don’t,” Diego said, and he was glowing, the most stunning sight that Benji had ever seen. He glanced back down at the pizza. “Do we really need to eat this?” He grinned. “Are you even hungry?”

  Benji laughed. “Actually, this time yes, I’m hungry for more than you, but I’m following what you’re laying down. Just need to find the energy first.”

  Diego’s eyes twinkled. “Then eat up, baby.”

  ———

  The knock on the door came way too fucking early.

  I’m just going to ignore it, Diego thought blearily as he rolled back over and slid an arm around the warm, muscled body next to his. He wanted to stay here, in this nearly too-hot cocoon.

  The knocking continued, but Diego buried his head in the pillow and slipped back into a pleasantly dreamless sleep.

  A few minutes later, his phone rang shrilly, startling him out of sleep again.

  “Whaaaat,” Benji moaned, turning over. “What is that?”

  “I think,” Diego said, carefully picking through what was left of the mush in his brain, after practically a whole night of orgasms, “I think that might be Vicky, and she’s here to pick up Ana.”

  “Your ex-wife, that Vicky?” Benji mumbled.

  Diego moaned as he slid out of bed and reached blindly for a pair of boxers only to not find anything. That was right, they’d gone to bed naked last night. He shuffled over to a drawer and pulled on a new pair, and a discarded t-shirt from the top of his hamper. “Do you even know another Vicky?”

  Benji grinned at him goofily, all that bare skin unbearably attractive against Diego’s sheets. “I’m not even sure I know my own name anymore.”

  Pausing in the doorway, his phone ringing again, and the pounding on the front door becoming louder by the moment, Diego wasn’t sure he could actually physically leave Benji in his bed, alone. What he should do was go downstairs and deal with Vicky, who was sure to be pissed that he was ignoring her. Co-parenting gracefully was a challenge, and he knew he shouldn’t do anything to fuck up the careful balance they had going on right now.

  Except, Benji was still there, still grinning like a loon, like the happiness bubbling out of him couldn’t be contained.

  One more kiss, he bargained with himself, and crossed over to the bed, climbing half on top of it, reaching out for Benji. He came easily, putting one of those big, sexy-as-fuck hands on Diego’s neck, coaxing him even a little closer as their mouths moved together. His skin felt chapped from the scruff on Benji’s face, but he’d take a lot more discomfort if he could have even more of this.

  It was actually Benji who pulled back first. “You should probably go let her in,” he said reluctantly. “I don’t want her to come up with any reasons to hate me.”

  “Or me,” Diego said ruefully. He slid backwards off the bed, not looking back as he walked out of the bedroom, because if he had, he still wasn’t sure if he could’ve left.

  Vicky was standing on the front step, arms crossed over her chest, a perturbed frown on her face. Diego blinked blearily in the early morning sunshine and hoped he didn’t look too much like he’d spent all night making out with Benji.

  “What the hell,” Vicky said, annoyed edge to her voice, as she elbowed a still-dazed Diego out of the way. “Didn’t you hear me knocking? You knew I was coming early this morning. That was part of our agreement, when you said you wanted to keep her overnight.”

  She paused, clearly just taking in his lack of clothing, and then at the expression on his face. “She’s not even up, is she? Did you both just wake up?”

  Objectively, Diego knew he needed to tell her that it wasn’t just Ana upstairs, and that yes, they had just woken up, and he had no idea what Ana was doing. But sudden embarrassment closed off his throat and made it very hard to confess the truth. Their divorce had been amicable; she had known pretty much the whole time he was in love with Benji. But that didn’t mean she wanted to see him upstairs, naked in the bed she’d once shared with Diego.

  He should want to save her from that, but instead he felt frozen, and even a little annoyed at the obtrusion real life was making in an otherwise perfect morning.

  “Uh,” Diego said, and Vicky threw up her hands in frustration.

  “You are the worst in the morning,” Vicky said, heading toward the stairs. He knew when she froze on the third step that she must have seen something she wasn’t expecting. And yeah, that definitely would be something she wasn’t expecting, as Benji was standing at the top of the stairs, shirtless, with his jeans on but unbuttoned. He looked like walking, talking, dreaming sex, and Diego wasn’t sure if Vicky’s sudden speechlessness was because she was shocked that they’d finally done something about their mutual feelings or because Benji was so fucking hot.

  “Well,” Vicky said, and she didn’t sound mad exactly, but she clearly wasn’t happy either. “This explains a lot of things.”

  “I would tell you it’s not what it looks like,” Diego said weakly, “but it’s exactly what it looks like.”

  Vicky shot him a darkly amused look. “No shit.”

  Benji started down the stairs, and God, Diego wished Vicky was not standing right fucking there, because there were things he wanted to do to him right now.

  “I checked on Ana,” Benji said softly, apologetically. “She’s still sleeping.”

  A complex look crossed over Vicky’s face. Benji was someone she couldn’t help but trust; he was one of Diego’s closest friends, but Ana was still her daughter and Diego knew she was struggling with how territorial she deserved to be.

  Sometimes it didn’t matter if something wasn’t technically wrong, you didn’t like it anyway.

  “I should go get her up and ready to go,” Vicky said, her voice so completely neutral, he knew it was on purpose. He was going to get an earful later, and he wasn’t looking forward to it.

  “I can do it,” Diego argued, but Vicky shot him a look.

  “You’ve done plenty,” Vicky said. “Clearly.” And she stomped up the stairs, shooting Benji another, undecipherable look as she passed him on the landing.

  Benji came down, looking apologetic. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get in the middle of that.”

  Diego sighed. “You were in the middle of it from the first kiss, though frankly, probably a lot longer than that. It’s . . . not going to be easy for anyone.”

  “I don’t want to make anything harder for you, not with Ana,” Benji said, reaching out and touching Diego’s shoulder.

  “It’ll be fine. I think . . . I think she was just surprised. She’s known, probably longer than I have, that I was in love with you. She’s not mad, not really.”

  “I hope not, though I wouldn’t blame her if she was,” Benji said. “What are you doing today?”

  “Errands,” Diego grumbled. “Since the rest of the week and the weekend is going to be booked up with the studio and the album.”

  “Yeah, me too,” Benji said. “Jay called me three times already this morning. But unlike you . . . I put my phone on silent.” He grinned. “Maybe I should take that as a compliment, that I had you so distracted you didn’t even remember to do that.”

  “It wouldn’t have helped,” Diego admitted. “Vicky’s an exception.”

  “Right, because of Ana.” Benji’s smile faded.

  “Last night was . . . it was perfect,” Diego said softly, reaching out and cupping Benji’s cheek. “I wouldn’t change a single moment of it.”

  “But today is real life, yeah, I get that,” Benji said. “I’m going to go upstairs and get dressed. Leave you two to it.”

  “You don’t have to leave,” Diego said, as he followed him up the stairs. “We could get breakfast.”

  Benji’s expression was soft and regretful as he
pulled on his t-shirt, tucking his sunglasses into the collar. “You should really talk to her. Don’t make this harder. It’s tough enough, leaving you.”

  “We’ll see each other tomorrow,” Diego said, trying to imbue some hope into his voice, but he knew it wouldn’t be the same. The whole band would be there, and this thing was so new between them, he wasn’t sure he wanted everyone to know how close they’d gotten.

  “Right,” Benji said, but Diego knew he was thinking the same thing. “We’ll figure it out.”

  Vicky appeared in the doorway. “Ana and I are about ready to go,” she said, and her voice had dropped a few degrees. “If I could talk to you for a moment, Diego.”

  “That’s my cue,” Benji murmured, and leaning over, brushed a kiss over Diego’s cheek, and walked past Vicky, out the doorway.

  “You didn’t have to do that,” Diego said, moving to his dresser and pulling out a pair of loose sweats. “We haven’t done anything wrong.”

  “I know,” Vicky said, and when he glanced up, her expression had softened. “I’m sorry. It’s . . . it’s a little weird for me. I’m going to have to get used to the fact that you have someone new in your life—well, someone old but in a new way—and that Benji will be spending a lot more time with Ana.”

  “He doesn’t have to,” Diego said, but already knew he wouldn’t be happy if that was what Vicky decided she wanted.

  “No, he’s going to be your . . . partner, I guess we’ll call it,” Vicky said. “You’re Ana’s father. You have rights, too. It’s not like I don’t like him . . .” She sighed. “I guess part of me regrets just how much you’ve always liked him.”

  Guilt swamped Diego. What had he been thinking, all those years ago? Marrying someone who wasn’t Benji and then having a child with her? It had been unbearably selfish, to think he could make those choices, all while in love with someone else.

  “I’m sorry,” Diego said quietly. “You know how sorry I am. But I can’t be sorry that we had Ana, no matter how hard it is.”

  Vicky smiled, sad and regretful. “It won’t be hard. Just . . . give me some time, that’s all I ask. I need to get used to it, again.”