Everyday Calm: Relaxing Rituals for Busy People

by Darrin Zeer

  Everyday Calm

  Relaxing Rituals for Busy People

  by Darrin Zeer

  illustrations by Cindy Luu

  Find Calm

  . . . within.

  Contents

  Introduction

  Five Simple Steps to Everyday Calm

  Tranquil Morning

  Refreshing Midday

  Effortless Afternoon

  Easy Evening

  Nurturing Nighttime

  Biographies

  Acknowledgments

  QUICK HELP GUIDE

  Stressed out? 24, 71, 78, 84

  Need an escape? 34, 40, 46, 54

  Need to get organized? 25, 28, 29, 57

  Whole body aches? 68, 72, 86, 92

  Can’t concentrate? 42, 50, 52, 60

  Feeling impatient? 29, 30, 58, 85

  Looking for a healthy boost? 22, 38, 71, 76

  Sore back? 16, 20, 66, 86, 91

  A little inspiration? 19, 23, 59, 62

  Give to others! 23, 31, 35, 36

  introduction

  You’re busy—who isn’t these days? Whether at work or at play, you’re always on the go. From the moment you wake up, as you drive through rush-hour traffic, when you’re talking on your cell phone, until your head hits the pillow, you’re in a hurry. And the drive to get things done is taking its toll. Your mind gets overwhelmed, and your body gets tense.

  It’s time to find calm. When you slow down and think clearly, you become more efficient. When you take time to be friendly and polite to those around you, the day is much more pleasant. When you’re rested, you make fewer mistakes. When you take de-stress breaks, your creativity skyrockets. When you focus on giving to others, your relationships improve. Taking care of each area, step by step, you are guaranteed to find more peace of mind.

  Everyday Calm has many quick tips and tricks for keeping your cool from morning to night. Learn how to get out of bed gracefully. Turn your home into a blissful sanctuary. Relax for a moment of meditation while you do the laundry. Make a “to do” list to manage your busy day, and try a yoga stretch while you wait in a long line. Slip into a cyber café for a virtual vacation. Indulge with a soothing soak in a scented bath. This book has relaxing ideas for your every need. Turn to the section that speaks to you: Tranquil Morning, Refreshing Midday, Effortless Afternoon, Easy Evening, Nurturing Nighttime—which-ever part of your day needs a little calm.

  To get started, open the book to any page and see what area of calm you discover. Or if you have a specific need, check out the Quick Help Guide on page 9. Whatever you do, if you make an effort to relax more during your day, I promise that you will find more fulfillment along the way. Take care, and enjoy yourself as you discover everyday calm.

  five simple steps to everyday calm

  *1*

  I will breathe and relax moment by moment.

  *2*

  I will stay calm and focused in all my interactions.

  *3*

  I will treat myself and others with care and patience.

  *4*

  If I feel overwhelmed I will take a calming break.

  *5*

  I will travel through my day peacefully.

  tranquil morning

  Start your day in a peaceful way.

  Wake-up Wisdom

  Try to spend a calm moment before jumping out of bed and starting a busy day. Taking time to stretch will help you start your day on the right foot. In this exercise, focus on gently relaxing your mind and body.

  1. Lie flat on your back and take a few breaths.

  2. Notice any areas in your body that are sore or tense.

  3. Gently raise your knees to your chest.

  4. Wrap your arms around your knees and breathe deeply.

  5. Let your knees slowly drop to one side.

  6. Enjoy the stretch in your lower back and hips.

  7. Take your time in the stretch; then switch sides.

  8. When you’re ready to get out of bed, slowly roll to your side and push yourself up with your hands.

  Yoga Yawn

  Wake up, sleepyface! Here is a way to give yourself a natural face lift. Turn your morning yawning into a workout, to help relieve puffiness and stiff facial muscles. Yoga Yawns will enliven your face and mind.

  1. Imagine that you are chewing an enormous piece of gum.

  2. Move your mouth up and down, then side to side.

  3. Stretch your face up and down while chewing.

  If you do this in your car or at your desk, expect some interesting reactions.

  Motivational Mirror Session

  Stand strong and flex before your mirror. Fill your lungs with air. Shake your head or body if you just can’t perk up. Give yourself a pep talk before launching into your day, and you’ll receive an instant boost. For better or worse, this is the you you’ve got today! Check in to see how you are doing.

  What is special about today? What challenges lie ahead? Any final words of encouragement? Try repeating this: “Today I will calmly conquer the world.” Or make up a motivational phrase that is appropriate for you. Attach a note of your special reminder to the bathroom mirror.

  Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.

  —Ralph Waldo Emerson

  Instant Coffee Bend

  This is a great stretch to do while you are waiting for the coffee to brew or the teakettle to boil. When you make room in your daily routine for a stretch, you’ll be sure to feel the results all morning. When you finish the stretch, rise and enjoy your morning libation with renewed vigor.

  1. Grab the counter edge and step back a couple of feet.

  2. Spread your feet shoulder-width apart.

  3. Let your upper body stretch down.

  4. Enjoy the powerful stretch.

  5. Try not to bob; your body is still waking up.

  6. Relax your head and neck.

  7. Focus on your breath to help loosen tightness.

  8. When the coffeepot is full or the tea whistle blows, release out of the stretch.

  I bend but do not break.

  —Jean de La Fontaine

  Bar Hopping

  Got the breakfast blahs? You know that you need to fill your belly to help you get up and go, so why not update your cereal or oatmeal with tasty toppings? Stock your pantry with these healthy treats and turn ho-hum basics into a new treat every day:

  golden raisins

  shredded coconut

  fresh fruit

  carob chips

  nuts of all kinds

  plain or vanilla-flavored yogurt

  soy milk for a splash of protein

  There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.

  —Shakespeare

  Merry Morning Mantras

  While on the road or at home, take time to arouse your spirit. Chanting is a very powerful exercise. Buddhist monks can chant mantras for days at a time. Even a few minutes of chanting can help center you and release needless concerns. Try to develop your own mantras; tailor your chants to include good wishes for yourself and others.

  “Ommm . . . let all my friends have a good day.”

  “Ommm . . . help me to stay calm in rush hour.”

  Focusing on a positive, nurturing phrase erases self-doubts. The “Om” is not an essential start but can be fun to add.

  Instant A.M. Boosters

  These quick and easy breathing exercises will jump-start your morning. If at any time you feel dizzy, simply stay seated and let your breathing return to normal.

  INSTANT POWER

  1. Find a comfortable place to
sit down with your back straight and your shoulders relaxed.

  2. Breathe in a deep, rapid motion through either just your nose or just your mouth, eight to ten times.

  3. Pump your belly in with each exhale.

  4. Take a moment to let your breathing return to normal before you stand up.

  INSTANT ENERGY

  1. Take a long breath in and hold it for eight counts. As you hold your breath, try to relax your body.

  2. Exhale and hold your breath out for eight counts. Again, make sure you don’t tense your muscles.

  3. Let your facial muscles soften and relax. Drop your shoulders down.

  Spa on the Go

  There’s nothing more refreshing than declaring a spa break whenever you need a little relaxation on the road. Let this stress-survival kit prepare you for every challenging situation. Be sure to start with a large bag that comfortably holds everything you’ll need:

  A zippered pouch to hold spa items like anti-bacterial hand sanitizer, aloe hand lotion, lavender face spritzer, SPF 15 lip balm, and other special favorites.

  A bottle of water and healthful snacks like an energy bar or fruit.

  A selection of both relaxing and energizing music for your car and your portable player, to assist in mood elevation.

  If you’re the driver, leave an overnight bag in your car with dress and gym clothes, plus toiletries for unplanned workouts and spontaneous getaways.

  Bag Archaeology

  The more advanced society gets, the more stuff we seem to bring with us. During the day we need to carry our loads wisely, to avoid back or shoulder injuries. Make sure you carry only what you really need! Clear out those heavy extras and ancient layers of receipts and wrappers. Choose a bag that is easy to carry, with a cushioned strap. Practice keeping your back straight and your chest out, without leaning or slouching.

  LOADING STRATEGY

  1. When picking up bags, bend your knees and use your full-body strength.

  2. Avoid reaching awkwardly for heavy bags.

  3. When carrying loads, try to distribute the weight evenly on both sides; backpacks and messenger bags work best.

  4. With shoulder bags, switch sides periodically.

  5. Let your entire body get behind carrying the weight.

  6. If one body part gets sore, shift the weight to the other side.

  Easy Efficient Errands

  When time is short and you have too many errands, make a plan. Write out a list, then mark the most urgent items with a star. Specify each location and map out the most efficient travel route. Search your mind for any forgotten items. Once the list is complete, get into action. Check in with friends and neighbors for a round of errand swapping. Can you pick up a neighbor’s dry cleaning while she returns your movies? Be prepared for pleasant surprises and unplanned pitfalls. Keep a quick pace, letting tension slide away as each errand is completed. Stay focused. Don’t be surprised if you finish the job in record time thanks to the magic of Easy Efficient Errands.

  Doorway Discipline

  Before you touch that doorknob, avoid unwanted stress by making sure all important items are packed with you. Taking this extra minute may save you hours later. Before stepping into the vast unknown, go through this final checklist:

  1. Have I got my keys, watch, wallet, and cash?

  2. Do I know how to get where I am going?

  3. Do I need to mail any letters or return library books?

  4. One last look to make sure all is in order.

  Take a breath, step out, and have a great day . . .

  He who is in a hurry rides on a donkey.

  —German proverb

  Wisdom of the Horn

  Attention all road warriors: Put your temper in cruise control! Rush hour can be one of the greatest challenges of the day. The primal desire to hit your horn is always inviting. But don’t let the stress ruin your day. Become a master of your emotions:

  If there is no danger, stay off the horn.

  Take a breath, scream, or yell if you like.

  Forget those rhapsodies of roadside revenge.

  Practice letting go of the overwhelming tension.

  Imagine that the driver in front of you is a close friend.

  For the advanced commuter: Try smiling and waving to nearby motorists.

  Chair Karma

  Tension can rise as you race toward work on the train or bus. One way to step out of the morning commuter funk is by performing a random act of giving. When you see someone in need, rise to the occasion and offer your seat. Don’t take no for an answer. Notice the rush of good feeling that comes upon you. Don’t be shy as fellow commuters shower you with good vibrations and warm wishes.

  A man’s true wealth is the good he does in this world.

  —Muhammad

  refreshing midday

  Take a break and feel renewed.

  Two-Minute Midday Calm

  If you find yourself lacking calmness and clarity, take a two-minute break to de-stress. Stop what you’re doing, turn the phones off, and sit quietly. For two minutes you will do nothing but breathe and relax. Your mind will be chattering, but tell it to be quiet. Keep returning to your deep, relaxing breaths. Each time you get caught in busy thoughts, return to your breathing. Your muscles may feel tight, so let the breathing help relax your body. When the two minutes are complete, notice your state. As you return to your day, go slowly and use this calm that you found as a tool for efficiency. You may get sudden realizations or remember forgotten appointments; take time to write them down. Whenever you feel overwhelmed, try this quick fix; don’t forget how easy it is to feel so good.

  Revolving-Door Policy

  Time-tested etiquette will never be out of style, and being a gentleman or gentlewoman will get you everywhere. Next time you find yourself in front of a doorway, open it and let oncoming traffic through. Opening a door for another person is one simple way to offer support. (To become a master door opener, pay attention to bellmen at fancy hotels.) Just follow these easy steps:

  1. Announce “After you” to those passing by.

  2. Open the door wide, step back, and remember to smile.

  3. Look back and see if anyone else may need your service.

  The twinkling eyes of gratitude will be ample repayment. While you may have made someone else’s day, you have also undoubtedly improved yours!

  Picnic Paradise

  Add some green to your day! You can wash your troubles away by simply immersing yourself in a park. Take a walk or just sit for a while. Staring at lush greenery can ease eyestrain from computer monitors and fluorescent lights and help provide a sense of general well-being. A nap in a park can be deeply resuscitating. Arrange a healthful picnic snack for your lunch hour. Surprise a workmate or friend for lunch with a twist. Be patient and let nature do its thing. Treat yourself to simple pleasures. A calm and peaceful break will alter your day for the better.

  Tropical Urban Oasis

  Slip out of your day and have a tropical fruit juice fix. When you are squeezed for time, juice shops offer a meal in a cup and an upbeat atmosphere. Add all the extras for a much-needed energy boost. For smoothies, ask for real yogurt rather than frozen yogurt. If you are feeling adventurous, order one or two shots of wheatgrass juice. As a chaser, order a carrot-and-orange-juice mix. Make sure you sit down for this one, as you may feel a slight body jolt. Wheatgrass packs a punch with a megadose of vitamin C and a long list of nutrients to help detoxify and recharge the body.

  Cyber Café Holiday

  Ready to transport yourself into a dream virtual vacation? Take time out from a busy day of shopping or errands. Armed with a drink and a snack, book a trip into cyberspace on an imaginary holiday.

  1. Sit down and search for your dream destinations—perhaps Thailand, Maui, or Paris.

  2. As each site downloads, drop your head and feel your neck relax. Slowly roll your head in circles.

  3. Now let the Web site transport you to Hawaii or your own idea of pa
radise.

  If your fingers are tight from tapping the keys, squeeze them into a firm animal claw. Then make fists and roll your hands in wide circles, both directions.

  Relax on your online beach blanket!

  Wherever I go, there I am.

  —Aristotle

  Cleansing Cleaning

  Pent-up frustration can be used for positive results. Dust off your cleaning equipment and get scrubbing. As you transform your household, you’ll also wash away internal anxiety. Your floors will shine as your mind unwinds. Dig into corners. Turn up the good old rock ’n’ roll and dance while you work. You can’t clean everything, so don’t worry about finishing; just keep going as long as you enjoy it. Find contentment in the activity and stay in the moment. Who would have thought cleaning could be so enriching?