Hushed

by Gina Robinson

  "Enough to have a bottle a month through our one-year anniversary." I kissed her quickly and more passionately than I intended. My heart pounded in my ears. "I've never made it to a year with a girl."

  She turned her gaze on me, her eyes wide and misty. "Oh, Seth." She hugged me, clung to me.

  I was almost embarrassed that she was so moved by my plan. And pleased and incredibly happy.

  We ended the day at Dad's winery at sunset. I let us in with a key. I'd ordered dinner from the hotel and bribed one of the waiters I knew to set it out for us on a table on the balcony. With a red rose in a vase.

  Maddie gasped when she saw it.

  At first, I thought she was pleased and overwhelmed. Damn, I was good with the romance. But she had paled and was trembling.

  "What?" I put my arms around her. "What's wrong?"

  "Nothing." She bit her lip. "It's so…perfect. Like…you aren't…this isn't…"

  I stared at her, trying to prompt her. "Isn't…?"

  "You aren't going to propose?" She winced.

  I laughed. "Shit! No. I'm not that committed. Yet."

  She looked relieved, and smiled. "Good."

  "Good?" I stared at her, trying not to be hurt. "You mean you wouldn't marry me?"

  "I didn't say that. I don't know. I really don't. Maybe. Someday. But right now, it's too soon to tell." She paused, looking like there was something she wanted to say. "We don't know everything about each other. Maybe there are secrets…"

  I laughed, trying to lighten the mood. "It's not good to know everything. They always say you shouldn't lose the mystery." I paused, studying her. "You have secrets? Anything you want to tell me?"

  She bit her lip, looking like she was struggling with herself over something. "We all have secrets." She put her hand on my arm. "To be perfectly clear, you aren't proposing?"

  I shook my head. "No. Guess I overdid it with my wine buying? Came off too serious?"

  "No. It was perfect."

  Why did she sound so damn sad, then? I was screwing things up. I didn't understand her.

  She relaxed and dropped her hand from my arm to study the table. "Wow, when you do propose…to someone"—she sounded almost sad and extremely cautious—"it's really going to be something. How are you going to top this? She's going to be very lucky."

  Shit. I didn't like the way she practically assumed that girl wouldn't be her. Neither of us had any idea what the future held. But the way I felt now, she had every chance of being the girl I'd eventually marry.

  I caught her hand in mine and squeezed. "Let's pick out the wine for our one-year anniversary. Dad gave us full run of the cellar."

  I caught her chin in my hand and stared into her eyes. "I love you, Mads. I wish I could prove it to you somehow. I want to be your hero."

  Although it had been on my mind, I didn't know why I said it. It slipped out.

  "Be careful what you wish for." She reached up and stroked my cheek. "You don't have to pull me from a burning building to be my hero. You just have to believe me. Believe that I would never intentionally do anything to hurt you. Believe me when I beg you to."

  A shiver ran down my back. What was she telling me?

  She grabbed the wrist of my hand holding her chin and turned her mouth to kiss my hand. "Let's go pick out that wine."

  Chapter 17

  Maddie

  Rick saw us off the next morning. He walked us to the driveway and helped load our bags in our respective cars.

  He hugged me, which caught me off guard. "Say hello to your mom for me. Next time you talk to her."

  He was clearly issuing a challenge. He wanted me to tell Mom who Seth really was—Rick Butler's son, the man who had saved her life and killed her heart. Hardly a good bargain for her.

  I shrugged, noncommittal. If he wanted to know if she still remembered him, he could hunt down her contact information and cold call her. The thought sent a shiver through me.

  Mom was notoriously private. She kept off social media. But how hard was it to find anyone these days?

  I didn't want him to be the one to tell Mom about Seth. And for his part, Rick didn't know what he was asking. Or potentially walking into. Though he had no idea, he was bargaining for another son and a total disruption to too many lives. Things were quickly spiraling out of control.

  I had to get back to school. I desperately needed to talk to my brother.

  Rick hugged Seth. "I'll see you in a few weeks when I'm in town to set up the winetasting event." He slapped Seth on the back like a proud dad.

  And we were off. Four hours of alone time to think about what I should do. And dread the consequences. Everywhere my mind turned I ran into a no-win scenario.

  Olivia was already at the apartment when I arrived. She bubbled with news of her trip and asked me questions about Rick and Seth and my stay with them. It was a relief to be able to talk candidly with someone else. I told her everything.

  She agreed with my conclusion. "You're absolutely right. You have to tell Ian."

  I nodded. Now that I was back in town, I was filled with dread at doing what I knew was the right thing.

  Olivia handed me my phone. "Call him. Now. And schedule some face-to-face big-bro time."

  His phone rang and rang. He didn't pick up. He was like that when he was busy or didn't want to be interrupted. He'd go old school and off the grid.

  I left him a voicemail. "I have to talk to you. As soon as possible. In person. It's urgent."

  I looked at Olivia for confirmation.

  She hugged me. "You're doing the right thing. You'll find a way to tell him."

  My phone rang in my hand with the ringtone I used for Ian. I took a deep breath and picked up. "Hey. Thanks for calling me back."

  "You've heard." Ian sounded protective and furious at the same time. More upset than I'd heard him since he left his last position. "How much?"

  "Uh—" Heard what?

  "You warned me this department had problems. That they were overly sensitive to issues of sexual misconduct. But I can't believe this! For some anonymous shithead to accuse me of inappropriate sexual behavior with one of my students! I will kick his ass when I find out who the coward is."

  My heart thudded and stopped cold. I felt the blood drain out of my face. Oh, no! Not again.

  Beside me, Olivia listened in to my side of the conversation. "What's going on?" she mouthed.

  I held up a finger to silence her.

  He cursed beneath his breath. "Don't worry. I'll get this straightened out. The department chair wants me to meet him in his office tomorrow at ten to hear my side."

  "Oh, no!" I said, aloud this time. "Ian—"

  "Don't worry." His tone became big brotherly. "I'm innocent. I don't have anything to fear. The truth will win out. Given the Dr. Rogers case, they're being cautious. This is just an informal one-on-one."

  "But who's accused you? What are they claiming you did, exactly?" I had a horrible, sinking feeling.

  "Someone has supposedly seen me carrying on all over campus and at the bars with a chemistry student." His voice shook. "The chair of the chem department wants to voice his concerns in person. Those are all the details I have."

  The pain in his voice broke my heart.

  "That's not fair. You have the right to meet your accuser. Or at least know who it is."

  "Since when has life been fair?" He sounded almost resigned.

  How could I tell him about Seth now? It would have to wait until after his meeting with the dean.

  He sighed. "Don't tell Mom, okay?"

  I sighed. "Okay." But a sick feeling was settling over me. "You'll let me know how the meeting goes? Maybe you should get a lawyer—"

  "I'll let you know." He paused. "Was there something else you wanted to talk to me about?"

  I bit my lip and glanced at Olivia for strength. She nodded and motioned to the phone. "Make a date to see him," she whispered.

  "Yes," I said. "Actually, I want to catch up. Hear about Hawai
i. And…I need some big brotherly advice. Can we meet for coffee after your meeting?"

  "Advice, huh?" He sounded intrigued. "About what?"

  I sighed and laughed nervously. "Boys."

  He laughed. "I thought I gave you that talk years ago."

  "Shut up, Ian. This is serious. I really need to talk to you. As soon as possible."

  "Okay. Okay. I'm beat today and have to get ready for my eight o'clock class tomorrow. My meeting shouldn't last more than an hour. Then I have a break. Want to meet at eleven? We can catch an early lunch."

  "Sounds good," I said. "Meet you at your office?"

  "Awesome. See you tomorrow."

  After he hung up, I explained to Olivia.

  She got a funny look on her face. "I hate to bring this up." She hesitated. "But it just occurred to me. What if someone's seen you and Seth together and mistaken Seth for Ian? They look a lot alike and you've taken a lot of chemistry. It's not a stretch for someone to get confused and think you're one of Ian's students. And Seth is Ian. And, well, you get the idea."

  I stared back at her. "Crap! I was thinking the same thing. And hoping I was just being paranoid." I paused. "Until we know more, it's just speculation. I'll bring it up with Ian tomorrow. After I tell him about Seth."

  Seth

  On Monday morning, Zach and I carpooled to campus. We parked in our usual lot and hiked up the hill to the mall toward class. We each had a cup of coffee. It was the only way I was going to stay awake for a ten o'clock class.

  Morgan walked by. Her face lit up when she saw us. "Zach! Seth!" She threw herself into me and gave me a gigantic hug. "How was your break?"

  We made small talk for a few minutes.

  "On your way to class?" Morgan asked.

  I nodded.

  "I am, too. First day back after spring break sucks. There isn't enough coffee." Morgan's eyes lit up. "Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I remembered!"

  I frowned, puzzled. "Remembered what?"

  "The name of that prof who looks like you!" She pulled her phone out of her pocket.

  I'd forgotten all about it.

  "I even found his picture so I could prove how right I am. You two could be brothers. Here's his official university photo on the website." She flipped the phone around so I could see the screen. "Ta-da! Dr. Ian Foster, chemistry professor!"

  I froze. Ian Foster? Maddie's last name was Foster. And her brother's name was Ian. And he was a professor.

  "Let's see that." I took the phone from Morgan with a high degree of skepticism, expecting to see some guy with a similar haircut and build. Same color eyes. That kind of thing.

  When I took a look, I went cold. "Shit."

  Morgan clapped her hands like a delighted child and nodded. "He's like your older twin or something. Am I right or am I right!"

  Zach crowded behind me and peeked over my shoulder to get a look.

  "Whoa!" Zach said. "Morgs is spot on." He huddled closer. "You know who he really looks like, though?"

  I didn't answer. I couldn't.

  "That picture of your dad Alexis found in the sorority archives." He shook me by the shoulder. "Wait a minute! Isn't Maddie's older brother's name Ian?"

  I nodded.

  "If I were you, I'd head over to the chem department and meet this guy," Zach said.

  "I have class." I spoke on autopilot. This was just eerie.

  Zach enlarged the text on the phone and pointed. "Dude, he has office hours next period, right after your class."

  Maddie

  I'd rehearsed and rehearsed what I was going to say to Ian. But how do you bring something like this up? Hey, big brother, I think I may be dating your little brother. The one you had no clue even existed. Let's tell Mom. Won't she be surprised?

  There was no way. Simply no way to be tactful and diplomatic when delivering news like this. Olivia and I had tried every permutation. I was going to try to be gentle and ease into it. But I was so afraid I would just blurt it out. I was more nervous than I ever remembered being as I climbed the steps in the chem building and made my way into the office.

  Tessa, the chem department office administrator, looked up as I came in. Usually she was quick with a smile. Today she looked surprised, not in a good way, and a little wary.

  "Maddie!" Her smile looked forced. "Good to see you. Which chemistry do you have this semester? Who are you here to see?"

  Her questions seemed innocuous enough, but there was an edge of morbid curiosity to them I'd never noticed in her before. Like she was on the trail of a scandal. Maybe the whole department was simply paranoid. More likely, she knew about the allegations against Ian and was gently fishing for more information.

  I was always impressed by the way Tessa remembered everybody, even those of us who weren't chem majors. Then again, I had spent an inordinate amount of time in these offices getting help for the numerous chem classes my major required. I almost had a minor in chem.

  "I'm not in chem this semester." I forced a smile. "Thankfully."

  "You aren't?" Tessa frowned. "That's a first. I could have sworn you were."

  I shook my head. "First semester since I started college that I'm completely chem-class free."

  She laughed nervously. "So what are you doing here?" A pregnant pause. "What can I help you with?"

  "I'm here to see my brother, Dr. Foster."

  The look on her face was priceless.

  "Foster! Of course." She paused. "Foster," she said more softly. "I thought it was just a coincidence."

  "It's a common name," I said. "Is he still in his meeting?"

  "Yes." She popped out of her chair. "You can wait here or by his office." She pointed toward the chair's office. "I'll just go check on it and let him know you're here."

  Odd.

  I shrugged. Ian's office was locked, which was usual procedure when profs weren't in. There was an empty chair by the door. I took a seat and prepared to wait.

  Just then, the main door to the chemistry department offices swung open. I looked up just in time to see Seth come in. I swore to myself. There was nowhere to hide. He didn't see me at first.

  When he spotted me, his face clouded with confusion, followed quickly by something that looked like horror.

  He knows!

  I sprang to my feet. "Seth!"

  He frowned and came toward me. "Maddie? What are you doing here?"

  The door to the department chair's office that Tessa had disappeared into opened. Dr. Blanchard and Ian came out.

  Dr. Blanchard shook Ian's hand. "Thanks for coming in. You have nothing to worry about." He spotted Seth and me.

  Ian looked over at the same time. When he saw Seth, the color drained from his face. "What the hell?"

  Dr. Blanchard looked equally stunned. "Your brother?"

  Ian turned to me with a look on his face asking me to explain. "I don't have a brother. That's my sister. Maddie?"

  Seth's gaze bounced between us.

  My mouth went dry. I had to force the words out. "Ian, Dr. Blanchard, Tessa, this is my boyfriend, Seth. Seth, this is my brother Ian."

  Drop-dead, stone-cold silence hung in the air. Then, to my horror, Dr. Blanchard started laughing. Gently at first, then into a roar, like this was the most hilarious thing he'd ever seen.

  I didn't get it at first.

  "Ian, they say everyone has a twin in the world. There's yours!" He pointed to Seth. "The resemblance is uncanny. If I had to pick which one of these two is your sibling, hands down I would have bet my life on Seth. Your sister bears only a slight resemblance to you."

  He grabbed his sides and wiped his eyes. "If we needed any more evidence, this seals the deal. You accuser mistakenly took Seth and your sister for you and a student." Dr. Blanchard patted Ian on the shoulder again. "This is one to go down in the books. What a lucky coincidence they're both here. Case closed!"

  No, Dr. Blanchard was wrong—this was no lucky coincidence. This was utter disaster. The worst timing in the world. A catastrophe. And
the case was anything but closed.

  Dr. Blanchard shook Ian's hand again. "I'm sorry to put you through this, Ian. Glad your good name is cleared." He looked at us. "Nice to meet you two."

  He disappeared back into his office, leaving the rest of us in stunned, awkward silence. Tessa went back to her desk and ostensibly back to work. Though I had the feeling she was still spying on us.

  Ian walked over and unlocked his office door, studying Seth the entire time. "Let's talk. Come on in. I'd like to get to know my sister's boyfriend." He ushered us into his office. "Tessa, I don't want to be disturbed."

  Which elicited a most curious look from her. It was like he'd issued a challenge to her sense of curiosity.

  Ian locked the door behind him. The three of us stood staring at each other. The two guys I loved most in the world were looking at me with hurt and questions in their eyes.

  "Well, looks like your meeting went well," I said. "Good that's all cleared up. Mistaken identity, who knew?"

  "Maddie, you had something urgent to tell me?" Ian pointed to Seth. "I take it this is it?"

  I nodded lamely and tried to smile.

  Seth was deathly quiet, the kind of quiet that usually indicates rage. The scary quiet. Ian seemed to be taking things better, so I engaged with him first. "Ian—"

  "You're dating a guy who looks just me. I guess I should be flattered?"

  "Ian." I screwed up my courage. This was where my world could fly apart. One way or the other, I was doomed. "This is Seth Butler. His dad is Rick Butler?"

  I studied my older brother, looking for glimmers of recognition.

  "Butler?" Ian cocked his head like he was thinking and trying to place the name. "Is that supposed to mean something to me?"

  I nodded. I prompted him. "His dad dated our mom in college?"

  I glanced helplessly between Seth and Ian. Surely Seth had to be piecing this all together by now? But what in the world was he doing here in the first place?

  The two guys sized each other up.

  Ian looked suddenly uncertain, like things were beginning to dawn on him.

  "Ian, I think…" I took a deep breath, feeling sick inside. "I believe…" Tears formed in my eyes.