Not Just a Convenient Marriage

by Lucy Gordon - Not Just a Convenient Marriage

  The woman gave a bitter laugh. ‘That’s one way of putting it. Are you going to let me in, or are you afraid of me? Perhaps you ought to be.’

  ‘I’m not afraid of you,’ Sally said untruthfully.

  She stood back and Imelda swept into the room, moving in a queenly manner that implied that everything was her right.

  ‘His wife,’ she repeated. ‘It’s how I thought of myself, as his wife. But I soon had to face the truth, that he saw me as a servant, hired for a purpose and married only to keep me tied to him.’

  ‘You make him sound like a monster,’ Sally protested. ‘But he isn’t. He cares for people—’

  ‘Some people perhaps. He was crazy about Gina. He still is. And Pietro is all he has left of her, so he loves him for her sake. But the rest of us are just useful objects to be moved around as it suits him.’

  Mounting temper made Sally say, ‘Perhaps he isn’t the only one. You abandoned that vulnerable child when it suited you.’

  ‘I had to save myself before it was too late. Now I’m here to warn you before you make the same mistake I did. If you marry him you’ll regret it for ever. He’s using you as he used me. He wasn’t in love with me and he’s not in love with you.’

  Sally faced her, meeting the other woman’s bitter eyes with an expression that was cool and seemingly untroubled, although inside a storm was taking hold.

  ‘That’s fine,’ she said, ‘because I’m not in love with him. It’s a fair and equal bargain.’

  ‘Hah!’ Imelda’s crack of derisive laughter was like the wielding of a weapon. ‘Fine talk. You think so now, but he’ll lure you into loving him for his own convenience.’

  ‘He won’t be able to. You don’t know me any more than he knows me. I’m perfectly safe.’

  ‘You think you’re safe,’ Imelda sneered. ‘But nobody is safe from that man’s determination to make the world dance to his tune. He does everything for his own ends.’

  ‘But so do I,’ Sally insisted. ‘However bad you believe he is, I promise you I’m just as bad. Maybe worse, because I can think of schemes he’d never dream of.’

  ‘So maybe you can make him sorry? That’ll be something to look forward to.’

  ‘Don’t hope for too much,’ said a voice behind them.

  Damiano was standing in the doorway. Before their astonished eyes he walked into the room and addressed Sally, giving Imelda only the briefest glance.

  ‘It’s time we were going to the chapel,’ he said. ‘We thought you’d have joined us before now. Not changed your mind, have you?’

  ‘Not at all,’ she said in a determinedly cheerful voice. ‘When I’ve made a decision I stick to it through thick and thin.’

  He turned to Imelda. ‘Sorry to disappoint you. Nice try. But it was never going to work. Sally and I understand each other too well for anyone to get between us.’

  ‘You heard her say she doesn’t love you,’ Imelda sneered.

  ‘Yes, and I heard her say we made a fair and equal bargain. Love has nothing to do with it. Now I think you should go.’

  She pulled a face at him, then turned to depart. But suddenly Pietro appeared. At once his face brightened and he began to run towards them.

  ‘Mamma,’ he squealed. ‘Mamma!’

  Both Sally and Damiano tensed, dreading what must surely happen now. Pietro had been heartbroken when his ‘mother’ had abandoned him, and now he would suffer more pain.

  But Imelda might not have existed as he scampered past her to throw himself into Sally’s arms.

  ‘Everyone’s waiting for you,’ he said. ‘Charlie said you must have got last-minute nerves and made a run for it.’

  ‘No,’ she said quickly. ‘I would never run away from you.’

  ‘What about Papa?’

  ‘Well, I might run away from him, but not you. Never you.’

  He giggled, glancing up to catch his father’s reaction and was rewarded with a cheerful grin. For a moment father and son held each other’s eyes, while Sally fell silent, enjoying the sight.

  The only one not happy was Imelda, for whom the moment seemed to sum up her resentment.

  ‘You think you’re clever, don’t you?’ she muttered to Sally. ‘But you’ll find out what a mistake you’ve made. Just wait and see.’

  She turned and marched away. Pietro watched her leave, seemingly untroubled.

  ‘You handled her brilliantly,’ Damiano said in a voice too low for Pietro to hear.

  ‘You heard what we said?’

  ‘Everything.’

  So he’d heard her declare that she didn’t love him and never would. For another couple that would have been disaster, but they were different. For them it could even be a source of strength.

  ‘A fair and equal bargain,’ he repeated. ‘You said it perfectly. And now I think it’s time for us to get married. That was the bargain, wasn’t it?’

  ‘Fair and square,’ she said, extending her hand. He shook it.

  ‘I’m sorry that happened,’ Damiano said. ‘You shouldn’t have had to meet Imelda like that.’

  ‘Don’t worry. She didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know.’

  ‘You mean you already know that I’m the monster she called me?’

  ‘I’ve always known that. But I’m a monster too. You’ll make some shocking discoveries. Perhaps you should run from me before it’s too late.’

  He shook his head, taking her hand in his and speaking softly.

  ‘It’s already too late. Even without a wedding ceremony, I belong to you and you belong to me.’ His grasp tightened. ‘Don’t think of escape. Ever.’

  ‘I don’t want to escape,’ she promised. ‘I want something completely different.’

  ‘I just hope it includes me.’

  ‘Who else could it possibly include?’

  ‘That was the perfect thing to say.’ He lowered his head to lay his lips tenderly on hers. She kissed him back, relishing the sweetness that went through her at his touch. He drew back a little and looked down on her with a smile.

  ‘I’m going to make sure of you while I have the chance,’ he said softly.

  As if by a signal Mario and Charlie appeared in the door.

  ‘Everyone’s waiting,’ Mario called. ‘And you—’ he addressed Pietro. ‘Time to get into position with—you know what.’

  Pietro darted out of the room.

  ‘You know what?’ Sally asked. ‘What’s that?’

  ‘You’ll find out,’ Charlie said impishly.

  ‘She certainly will,’ Mario said, leading the way out. After a brief nod Damiano followed his brother.

  ‘Come along, sister,’ Charlie said. ‘Time for me to give you away.’

  The moment was here. If she had any doubts this was her last chance to say so. But she took his arm and together they headed for the chapel.

  Now she could hear the music, and through the open doors she could see that the groom and best man had taken up their positions. The chapel was crowded with friends and business acquaintances.

  ‘Ready?’ Charlie asked.

  Was she really ready? she wondered. But it was too late to ask that now.

  ‘Yes,’ she said firmly, taking his arm. ‘I’m ready.’

  They began to advance. There was Damiano with Mario by his side.

  His eyes were fixed on her as though he was stunned by an approaching vision. But who did he see? she wondered. Herself or the ghost of Gina? And when he faced the truth, would she see disillusion in his eyes?

  But before she reached him she saw something else.

  ‘Pietro,’ she murmured.

  He was waiting for them just ahead, ready and eager to play his role. And he was not alone. Beside him was Toby, wagging his tail excitedly.

  ‘They let you bring Toby in?’ Sally whispered to the child.

  ‘Not really,’ Pietro said. ‘I just sort of—slipped him in quietly.’

  ‘What’s that dog doing in here?’ came a male voice.

&n
bsp; A man in an usher’s uniform was approaching.

  ‘That animal can’t stay here,’ he said.

  ‘But he’s my friend,’ Pietro protested.

  ‘And my friend too,’ Sally said. ‘We’re a family, all of us. How could I get married without my friends and family?’

  The usher looked about to tear his hair out. The sight of the groom approaching unsettled him even more, but Damiano’s manner was cheerful.

  ‘Is everything all right?’ he asked.

  ‘There’s no problem about Toby being here, is there?’ she said. ‘He’s perfectly behaved.’

  ‘But—’ the usher began.

  ‘These decisions are made by Signora Ferrone,’ Damiano said with a significant glance at Sally, indicating that she had already acquired official status as his wife. ‘If she is happy there is no problem.’

  ‘And if Pietro and Toby are happy, I’m happy,’ she said.

  The usher retreated hastily. There were smiles from the crowd, and even a hint of applause from those who recognised that Sally had played her part perfectly. Now everyone knew that she would be a loving mother to the child who was hugging her so ecstatically.

  But the greatest pleasure came from the look of warmth and gratitude Damiano gave her, and the way he mouthed, ‘Well done.’

  He returned to his place, now watching her with a smile. The procession resumed, Sally supported by Charlie, Pietro holding her other hand, Toby trotting obediently beside his young master.

  For her sake the ceremony was held in English. Sally had carefully studied papers given to her by Luisa, and considered herself ready for everything. Even so, there was one question that made her pause a little.

  ‘Are you here willingly to make this marriage of your own free choice?’

  Your own free choice. She looked up at Damiano, wondering if he could truly declare that.

  But his face revealed nothing as he asserted his glad consent. A moment later she was able to reply in the same controlled manner.

  It was time for the exchange of rings, and now Sally found another surprise awaiting her. She’d known that Pietro was happy about this marriage, but nothing could have prepared her for what happened next. When Mario, acting as best man, produced the ring to give to his brother, he first glanced at Pietro. The two nodded at each other. Mario gave him the ring, and it was Pietro who handed it to Damiano.

  Nothing could have more clearly shown his total acceptance of Sally into the family. Damiano smiled at his son, then at Sally, as though wanting to be sure that she understood. She smiled back at Pietro, conveying her thanks.

  But now Damiano’s face grew serious again, almost sad, as though a new thought had occurred to him, one that obscured all others. He took her hand in his, sliding the ring onto her finger and speaking the words that promised love and fidelity. In return she made the same vow, wishing his eyes would reveal something more, but they remained distant. She wondered if he was recalling the moment from his first wedding when he and Gina had bound themselves to each other, and he had rejoiced at the blissful prospect of life ahead.

  It was time for the groom to kiss the bride. Putting his hands on either side of her face, he laid his lips on hers and stayed motionless for a moment. There was no pressure in his kiss, but the feel of it was sweet, filling her with sudden emotion.

  He drew back, smiling.

  ‘Now we are man and wife,’ he said.

  The choir burst into song as they turned to depart. Damiano drew her arm through his and led her back down the aisle with a broad smile on his face. To strangers it might seem the happy smile of a groom who’d secured the woman he loved. But to Sally it had more of the triumphant air of a man who’d achieved a great victory. Not for the first time Damiano Ferrone had got exactly what he wanted.

  *

  All the resources of the hotel were focused on making this the wedding of the year with the most fashionable food served to the most glamorous guests. There were gasps at the sight of the bride in her glittering diamond necklace, and some lively muttered conversations about the likely value of the jewels.

  There were speeches. Damiano informed the crowd that he was the luckiest man in the world and everyone toasted the bride.

  At last it was time for dancing. As the music started he led her onto the floor and drew her close for a waltz. As they turned gently in each other’s arms the guests regarded them with admiration. Some of them even applauded the couple who looked the perfect picture of newly wedded bliss.

  Everyone could see that Damiano was smiling with pleasure at his bride, and saying something to her with great fervour. Of course he was declaring his passion, they thought.

  Sally did not expect a declaration of passion, but she read in his eyes a warmth that lifted her spirits.

  ‘You were wonderful today,’ he said. ‘You did everything I wanted, better than I’d dared to hope.’

  ‘I’m glad I didn’t disappoint you. I was afraid of getting something wrong,’ she admitted.

  ‘You? You couldn’t get anything wrong. Whatever you touch turns to gold.’

  She laughed. ‘Thank you, kind sir. The perfect speech, just what the groom is supposed to say to his bride.’

  ‘No, I mean it. When Pietro turned up with Toby, any other woman would have made a mess of it, but you got it exactly right. Did you really not know in advance what he was going to do?’

  ‘I knew he was going to be there because you’d told me, but I didn’t know about Toby.’

  ‘And when he insisted on being the one to hand me the ring to give you—that was his way of saying that we had his blessing.’

  ‘Yes, it’s nice to have that.’

  ‘He’s happier than I ever thought to see him again, and you’ve done that for him. Thank you with all my heart.’

  She knew a faint twinge of disappointment that all his praise was for her achievements. A warm comment about her looks would have been pleasant. But she admonished herself for the thought. They had a deal and he was living up to his word, as he’d promised.

  At last it was time for the guests to leave. Arms wrapped around each other, the bridal couple waved and smiled their farewells, then turned and climbed the stairs together, which was what everyone wanted to see.

  Pietro had gone up ahead and was waiting for them in his room, with Toby.

  ‘Are you my mamma now?’ he asked.

  ‘After the way you welcomed me today, of course I am. Yours and Toby’s.’

  She hugged him, conscious of Damiano’s eyes on them, full of warmth. Deep inside she had a sweet feeling of triumph. This day had gone perfectly.

  They bid the child goodnight and went slowly along the corridor to the room that was now theirs. Once inside he brushed her veil gently back from her face, then laid his hands on her shoulders.

  She waited, trying to read his expression and guess his next words.

  ‘You must be exhausted. Get to bed quickly, and sleep well.’

  He saw the brief questioning glance she gave him, and said quickly, ‘I’m grateful to you for everything you’re doing. You were wonderful today. But I promised you that I wouldn’t rush things, and I’ll keep my word. When you’re ready—well—’

  He dropped his hands and stepped away towards the door.

  ‘I’ll be back soon,’ he said before he left.

  Thus allowing her time to undress in private, she realised. He couldn’t have made it plainer that such desire as he might have for her was strictly controlled.

  It was a sad moment. The happiness of the day had almost made her forget the real reason for everything that was happening. But there would be no loving husband to undress her for their wedding night, and that was the reality. Common sense demanded that she remove her own clothes and hang them up neatly.

  Common sense had never seemed so dreary. As she lay down in bed she wondered if Damiano intended to come back at all.

  *

  Returning half an hour later, Damiano found the room in da
rkness. Sally was lying on the far side of the bed, still and silent so that he couldn’t be sure if she was awake.

  He undressed and eased himself into the bed, moving gently so as not to disturb her. Drifting back over the day, his mind fixed on the moment when he’d heard her say, ‘I’m not in love with him… I’m perfectly safe.’

  Had she said it to shut Imelda up, or was it true that she didn’t love him and was sure she never would?

  Better if it was true, he thought. That would make their life together a lot simpler. Without love he could never hurt her. It was definitely the most satisfactory way.

  He repeated that to himself several times.

  There was a slight movement from her side of the bed. He leaned towards her, reaching out his hand, laying it gently on her shoulder.

  I’m not in love with him.

  The words seemed to scream in his mind so forcefully that he looked around, fearful in case they were not alone. He removed his hand. To go further, after what he’d heard, would be foolish.

  Lying motionless, Sally waited tensely for his next move. His hand on her shoulder had been gentle, the prelude to the soft caress that would start their wedding night. He would touch her again, drawing his fingers softly across her skin, tempting her to move towards him.

  She drew a long breath, feeling her heartbeat grow stronger as she anticipated what must come next. She would turn to face him, moving closer, letting him know silently that she was ready to be his wife in every sense of the word. For much of today they had done what the world expected to see, but now they were alone and could do what their senses demanded.

  Memories whirled through her: his mouth on hers as they kissed during the ceremony; the way he’d held her as they danced; the warmth in his eyes; the intensity in his voice as he’d said, ‘You were wonderful today.’

  She’d lied to Imelda, claiming that she was safe from him and always would be. The truth was that she would never be safe from this aching need to feel his touch, caress him in return, tempt him further. Now she knew why no other man had been able to arouse her desire. Deep inside she’d been waiting for this one man to caress her willing flesh and reveal to her the secrets of passion, so long concealed. If only he would stretch out his hand to her again.