The Future Is Closer Than You Think

by Zaslow Crane

  Curtis smiled. It was going to be alright.

  “Curt?”

  “Yeah?”

  “She was trouble. And, your little stunt showed that to me.

  If it weren’t for that, I might not have met Lily.”

  Lloyd got sad for a moment. They both got quiet; remembering their families…and their recent demise. That was not so

  long ago; a fresh wound in the fabric of his mind.

  “Ummm, I might not have ever figured out what a tease she

  was. Sure, I was pissed at the time, but now? Now? I don’t think

  I could ever be mad at you, Brother.”

  “Thanks, Man. That has been weighing on my mind since

  I did it.”

  “That must be fifteen or sixteen years!”

  “Yeah…Sorry…”

  “Man, don’t worry about it. I soon met Lily…After that,

  everything was as good as it could be until…”

  “Yeah. Reivers. That’s fucked.”

  “Yeah…”

  They fell silent for a time.

  The sun was going down, and the light failing.

  The cave was not as much protection as it might have been.

  In retrospect, the men might have fortified it better, or found

  ways to baffle the light and heat.

  Their light, their body heat, campfire heat, even their smell;

  they both supposed their smells still escaped to be received by

  them. It was even less safe now that the ammo was gone. They had no illusions about getting through the night.

  They’d be fortunate to see the sunrise. They’d heard sounds all

  day; as if people were tramping around nearby but staying out of

  sight, not tryin’ all that hard to be quiet.

  But it’s not people…

  They sighed and looked at each other. There was little

  doubt. They didn’t dare make any sounds in case the Reivers

  didn’t know exactly where they were.

  The evening progressed into dusk.The sun drew ever lower

  in the Western sky; deepening into a deep azure.

  “I’m kinda half sorry that we didn’t save a couple of slugs…

  for us.”

  “That’s okay, Lloyd. I don’t think I could go out that way

  anyhow. I believe that God wants to see me in one piece. Despite

  what the Reivers do to me, if I don’t kill myself, I’ll still end up

  before Him like I was born.”

  The campfire guttered a bit more. It was almost out now;

  the light and heat fading fast, the campfire mostly for show. Lloyd felt his heart rate speeding up, despite his desire

  to stay calm.“Yeah, I kinda doubt that I could do it either…

  Ummm…Nice knowin’ you, Curtis.”

  “You too, Lloyd.”

  “It’s gonna be a pretty sunset tonight…”

  “Yup. That’s for sure, Bro.”

  Crackling in the brush below them announced the arrival of

  the Reivers.

  Infestation

  BY ZASLOW CRANE

  The Exterminator’s electric truck made no sound as it parked in front of the house. I gestured to the sensors and the windows lightened a bit so I could see out clearly. The truck gleamed in the late morning sun. The man who got out shielded his eyes from the brightness, before flipping down the UV visor. He looked handsome as he walked up to my door.

  He was tall and well dressed, considering that it was likely that he’d have to scuttle under the house in the crawl space and up into the attic.

  “Hello, Ma’am,” he said extending his hand. It was as well tended as his uniform, or for that matter, his face.“I’m Larry from “Varmint Evictions Exterminators, LLC.”

  He paused, giving me his best smile. “I hear that you’ve got a vermin problem, and I’m here to help!”

  He set his clipboard, a small bag and his visor down on the floor next to where he stood.

  I have to say he was very professional-looking. He had a company uniform with the name “Larry” embroidered on the left breast, and carried an attache’.

  I supposed that was for contracts and whatnot.

  His smile was warm and his uniform was clean.

  I really dislike it when disreputable-looking workmen come to my home to work. I mean…I have to trust them enough to allow them to do work here while my husband is gone and the kids are at school, and it always makes me feel better if the people who do work here look neat and tidy…

  “Hello Larry, I’m Doris. Come in. I still have coffee on. Would you like some?”

  “No thank you ma’am, I’m here to work and to solve your problems. I’m on the clock.”

  A good sign, I thought. I also thought that it was lonely here all alone and sitting with me for ten minutes would have been nice, but I respected his work ethic.

  “Where would you like to get started?”

  “Well, he began. “Let’s talk a bit and then I’ll figure out what needs to be done.”

  Another good sign, I thought.

  “Okay, then. What do you need to know?”

  “For starters, what makes you think you’ve got vermin? Though, it is termite season.”

  “Oh…” I started out, pausing to collect my thoughts, so as to be as efficient as possible in recounting my fears to this man.

  “Lately, it’s been late at night mostly, I hear faint noises in the walls…”

  “Any droppings of any sort?” he countered.

  “Droppings?”

  “Yes, Ma’am. Feces.” He put his index finger and thumb about a 1/2 inch apart. “Dark in color, about this big…They look a bit like rice, only black…?”

  “Oh dear! No!”

  “Well that’s good…What else?”

  “I hear tiny bumping sounds in the attic sometimes, too…”

  “Attic, huh? Could be squirrels, or birds…They both like attics…”

  He paused thoughtfully for a moment. “Heard any chirping, any thumping?”

  “Chirping? No…Thumping?”

  “Yeah. If it’s squirrels that are up there, they make a nest out of torn up insulation and then they play; jumping and pouncing on each other and so on…”

  “Really?”

  “You bet!” Larry warmed to his subject. “Heard anything like that?”

  “No…It’s more of a scuttling or dragging sort of noise…” I tried hard to describe it carefully, so I could be accurate, and so that he could do his job properly.

  “Scuttling…? Hmm, could be squirrels, or mice, I suppose. What wall did you hear it from last?”

  I thought hard. It was usually late at night…

  “I think it was in one of the living room walls, I pointed to the center of the house.

  He set his attache’ down. From it he extracted a stethoscope.

  “Over here?” he asked as he walked in the direction I was pointing.

  “Yep. The near wall, I think.”

  I was about to say something else, but he put his finger to his lips in a polite “shushing motion” and affixed the stethoscope to his ears and searched my wall for noises.

  “Hmmm…hmmm….”

  He searched three walls up high and down low.

  Finally he straightened up and extracted the earpieces from his ears.

  “Well ma’am, I’m sorry, but I don’t hear anything, it could be you’ve got some nocturnal critters in there and they’re asleep now.”

  “Nocturnal?”

  “Yeah, ma’am. They sleep during the day and only get active during the night.”

  “Oh yes…I’ve read about that…”

  “I’m going to go outside and do an inspection of the premises, alright?”

  “Of course!”

  “I need to see if there is any opening big enough to allow an animal to get in before I start searching for them…”

  “Uh huh..”

&n
bsp; “I don’t want to run into a badger up there!”

  “Badger?!”

  “Just kidding, Ma’am.”

  I looked at him as he walked off..

  “Badger”? What kind of joke is that to make when I’m here worried?

  “Forewarned is fore armed…” He called out.

  “Of course…” I nodded, no less worried.

  Larry left and searched the outside of our house thoroughly.

  Meanwhile, the phone rang. It was Bill, my husband.

  “Oh, hi, Sweetie! I can’t talk long because the exterminator is here. He’s outside checking the vents and so forth right now… What? Oh Bill! You’d forget your head if it wasn’t attached. Some salesman you are, forgetting your lucky tie! It’s probably lying around somewhere. After the exterminator leaves I’ll look for it, okay? Bye now.”

  Everyone is gone all day, she thought ruefully.

  The house is so quiet. Bill calls to check in and that helps a little, even if it is for something silly like a lucky tie. It’s so quiet and lonely here since the kids are off at school all day, now, there’s no laughter nor playing…it’s quiet. Too quiet for me.

  Larry returned with a puzzled expression on his face. He flipped open his diagram of my house on a clipboard.

  “Well, Mrs.-”

  “Call me Doris. Please”

  “Okay…ummm. Doris. I don’t see anything, anything at all that would lead me to believe that you’ve got unwanted critters up there.” He gestured to the ceiling.

  “Of course, that doesn’t necessarily mean anything. Mice (and rats) can be pretty elastic…The bones in their skulls are only connected with cartilage…That way, they can force their heads (and their bodies) through spaces so tight, you’d never believe that it was an entry point.”

  “Really? Eeewww!”

  “Yeah…they’re tough to keep out…And rats are nocturnal… Mice become nocturnal if they find a nice place like this to live…”

  “Oh?”

  “Yeah, but it bothers me that you haven’t found any feces…I know where to look, and I didn’t find any feces either…

  “Well, what now?”

  “Well now, I go out, put coveralls on and inspect the attic. Is the access clear?”

  “Not exactly…”

  “Well, I’ll be outside for a few minutes, checking in with the office, bringing them up to speed here, putting on my coveralls, gloves and getting ready…Perhaps you could clear away whatever is in the way of the attic access and clear away any breakables near the access point?”

  I nodded.

  I have my work cut out for me! Our house is a very full house- with three kids’ clutter and all…

  He smiled and turned to go out to the truck.

  “Be right back…”

  “Okay…”

  I hurriedly moved furniture, knickknacks, children’s clothes, children’s toys, children’s books. Oh! And here’s Bill’s lucky tie! In minutes, I’d moved it all away from the drop- down stairway to the attic.

  It wasn’t long before he was back. Standing ready, with gloves, a mask -hanging loose around his neck- and coveralls. He looked at the door.

  I handed him the little steel pole with a hook on it. He inserted the hook into the recessed matching hook in the ceiling door and pulled.

  A trapdoor came down revealing an articulated stairway. He reached up and unfolded the stairway until it kissed the carpet.

  A few tiny strands of wire fell down. Very fine wire.

  He bent to look at it.

  “I saw some of this outside as well…Did you just have your satellite installed?

  “Upgraded, yes…They said it was necessary.”

  He pointed up. “-And, they ran the wire in the attic?”

  “I suppose so. The kids have all their channels now…That’s really all I know.”

  He paused considering. This seemed significant to him, but Larry didn’t explain any further.

  “Okay.”

  He flipped on his flashlight and began ascending the stairs.

  A few more bits of wire fell down onto the carpet…

  “Messy install…” He mused.

  Eventually, even his feet were out of view, in my attic.

  I could hear his movements as slight bumps in the ceiling. Nothing like what I’d been hearing though…

  I heard more bumps and clunks as he threaded through the stored Christmas boxes and insulation and whatever else was up there.

  “I” never go up there. Whatever’s there, Bill put there. We have so little storage…

  Then, there was a muffled shout.

  Another!

  Then more bumping, as he scrambled back the way he came! There was a loud bump and muffled curse as he must have hit a piece of wood, a “joist” I think Bill calls them, in the attic or something.

  He thrust his face down from above. He had the beginnings of blood leaking down his temple.

  That’ll be a big goose egg pretty soon, if he doesn’t put a cold compress on it quick! I thought, noting my experience with kids’ falls.

  He scrambled down the steps as fast as his feet would carry him!

  Larry jumped the last few steps onto the carpet, panting.

  “Ma’am! Whooo! Umm- Doris! You’ve got a big problem up there!”

  “I do?!”

  “You’ve got ‘bots! Robots! Thousands of them! Nano ‘bots, specialized ‘bots! Tiny robot armies! Half your attic is taken up with their constructs! There is a tiny, intricately wired city up there!!!

  “What?!”

  “I’ve never seen a worse infestation, and I’ve got over ten years experience!”

  He turned to me, pointedly.

  “You say that you had you satellite dish upgraded? When was that?”

  “About a week ago.”

  He shook his head.

  “Nope. This thorough of an infestation usually takes longer than that, much longer!”

  Just then, a tiny robot with three-sided all terrain treads trundled out from behind his collar and made it way across his shoulders. It was about the size of a very small caterpillar.

  Panic jumped into Larry’s eye and he grabbed the tiny thing threw it to the floor and crushed it with his work boot!

  Everyone’s afraid of something. I thought to myself. It doesn’t look that bad to me…

  Tiny colorful parts lay crushed into the fibers of my shag.

  He shivered with revulsion and suppressed anger.

  “Whew! I hate those things! Are you sure you haven’t been hearing noises for weeks, or more likely months?”

  “Oh no. I called you as soon as I heard anything. I was being careful.”

  Larry just made a disgusted face while rummaging through his attache’. He daubed at his slightly bleeding head with a handkerchief.

  “What can I do about it, ummm, them?”

  Another small shape skittered very quickly along the top edge of the baseboard on the other side of the room. We both saw it. Larry made a noise upon seeing it that could only be described as “sounding like a frightened eleven year old girl”. I watched the tiny thing race across my field of vision with something akin to wonder and interest.

  Larry “took a moment” to compose himself before continuing:

  “Well, uhh, the best way to umm, kill them all is to put a magnetized net over the entire house and generate a huge, powerful magnetic field. You’d have to get everyone out for a while. Also, you’d have to remove your computer, your personal data devices, anything with a magnetic memory…”

  I must have looked at him blankly.

  “I” don’t know anything about this stuff!

  “-While we’re at it we may as well tent the house for termites…”

  He rummaged more in his case and produced a checklist and what looked like some sort on contract.

  “Here’s everything that we recommend be taken out of the house for safety. Naturally, we can’t be held responsible if there’s something with
a magnetic memory here that we’re unaware of…If we erase or kill the mechanism…”

  He paused. “You’d sign off here…and here…”

  “Sign?”

  “Yes, we need to be protected in order to do the work..”

  He paused and smiled again.

  “Liability…”

  He proffered the clipboard to require my signature again wordlessly.

  “And what does all this cost?”

  He pointed to a figure near the top of the contract.

  “It’s based on square footage of your house, plus the difficulty of ridding your home of pests…Certain pests are more difficult that others…

  “And my problem…?

  “Well, ma’am, I mean, Doris,” he smiled. “I’m sorry to say that there’s nothing tougher to get rid of than robots. Especially the strain of nanos that it looks like you’re infested with. They reproduce at an alarming rate…”

  “And what guarantee can you offer?”

  “Well, that’s the other thing…We can’t even offer a guarantee because of the difficulty of the problem. These are tenacious varmints.”

  “No guarantee?”

  “No ma’am. Sorry”

  “Okay…If I don’t have you do the extermination…What’s the worst thing that might happen?

  “Things” might disappear, mostly metal things, I’d guess… Other things…Robots might eventually walk with impunity right across your living room floor in full day light!”

  He paused to allow the full import of that dire scenario to sink in:

  “Finally, they’ll take over the house! If you still don’t do something, then, they’ll eventually spread to your neighbor’s homes!”

  “But…they’re sort of cute…”

  “What?!”

  Larry looked at me as if I’d lost my mind.

  “But…but…They’ll be everywhere in no time!”

  He’d read my face and saw “No Sale” on it.

  He slowly collected his things.

  “You don’t want this, Ma’- I mean Doris.”

  I wouldn’t meet his eyes. I decided to think about it but do nothing rash.

  So, he brushed himself off thoroughly to make certain that he wasn’t transporting any ‘bots’ back to his truck and hurriedly left.

  After a while, I realized that Larry was right…The little ‘bots were virtually everywhere. They had learned to stay off the carpet, so instead, I’d see them festooning the drapes, scuttling along the bookshelves and so forth.