Dancing in Circles (Circles Trilogy)

by Adams, Victoria

  "Scared?" Robert scratched at the bandage on his stomach.

  "Yes.” Julie looked at her shoes. “I really want to do well, but I haven't allowed myself to think about becoming a dancer. I just don’t want to go in there and look stupid."

  "You could never look stupid. And don’t worry, you'll do great. Even with two broken legs, you’d still out dance everybody."

  She punched his arm. "You're prejudiced." Julie grabbed her books and papers then stuffed them into her backpack. “I have to get out of here. If I miss this practice, Madame’ll bust a tutu. Finish bio. I'll bring you English tomorrow." She headed for the door.

  "Hey, no kiss?"

  Julie walked back, leaned over the bed and gave him a peck on the cheek. Robert wrapped his arms around her and pulled her down on top of him. His kiss stirred a deep passion. When he released her mouth, he didn’t loosen his arms. He reached up and placed his hand on the back of her head. Julie’s forehead tilted forward until it touched his. “I wish you could stay. I hate being alone.”

  Julie gazed into his eyes. “You scared me so much. I thought…I thought you…might die.”

  “Sorry. I didn’t mean to cause you any pain.” Robert used the side of his thumb to wipe the stray tear from Julie’s cheek. “I had to defend my gang. Please understand.”

  “I know you can’t tell me yet, but I love you.” Julie leaned forward and pressed her lips on his.

  “Hey. Hey. Hey. I see our leader's feelin' better.”

  Julie jumped off the bed and turned.

  “Paul, sometimes ya got the lousiest timin'.” Robert chuckled.

  “Now you have company, I have got to go. Bye, Paul. Bye.” Julie smiled and hurried out the door. Robert stared at the emptiness she left in the room.

  ***

  With dance practice cancelled, Julie brought Robert takeout. When she arrived, the reporter, Jack Hanes, and a cameraman from CBHY were seated chatting with Robert. "But just think of what an interview’ll do for your image.”

  "From what I understand, my image could use a little less exposure right now." Robert didn't bother keeping the sarcasm out of his voice.

  Julie stepped into the room.

  "You're worried about what we showed.” Jack turned to his cameraman and held out his hand. “I brought a copy. I’ll set the laptop here.” He placed it on the small table over the bed. “And you can see what we shot.”

  "Hey, what'cha doing here?” Robert's face brightened when he noticed Julie standing at the doorway. “Thought you had a rehearsal?" He tapped the edge of his bed.

  "Cancelled. Madame has the flu."

  Robert's nose twitched. "Chinese food."

  Julie laughed and handed him the bag. "I thought you might like some."

  "Mushrooms?" Robert peered inside.

  "Not one in a box anywhere." She placed a Coke on his bed table.

  Like a little boy at Christmas, Robert pulled out the boxes, opened and examined each one. He looked for a fork. Julie pulled a pair of chopsticks from her purse. He groaned. "Ah, come on. I'm injured. A little compassion? Sympathy?"

  Julie shook her head.

  "How about mushrooms and a fork?"

  She giggled.

  "I'm stuck with the chopsticks?"

  She nodded and perched herself on the foot of the bed.

  "Alright, give 'em to me." He fumbled with the chopsticks for a moment then dug into the first box.

  "Okay. Here we go." The reporter pressed play and the screen lit up with the familiar sight of the two gang members facing off and Robert entering the scene. "Enter the conquering hero," he muttered between mouthfuls of food.

  Robert struggled both with the chopsticks and viewing the fight. He relived each punch thrown and each punch taken. At the end of the fight with Marco, he shook his head. "Ya got no idea how amazed I was I was still alive."

  The scene with the police officers began. "Man, I thought that cop was so gonna hit me. He had kill written all over his face.” Robert’s tone of voice changed to puzzled. “Don't remember the ride to the hospital. I remember waking up in recovery, but nothin’ after that cop." He pointed at the screen. "Hey look. All the guys are in the waitin' room. There's you and your Dad."

  Julie blushed.

  The reporter turned to face Robert. "You know Judge Anderson?"

  "Yea, he sent me to….yea."

  When Julie’s defence of Robert ended, he glanced at her. "Smart, kind, loving, generous, brave? Julie! You're gonna destroy my rep. You're supposed to say…brave's ok, that can stay. Uh...cute, rugged, sexy, tough, street smart, strong." He popped his eyebrows up and down. "Did I mention sexy?"

  The last two scenes were Paul and then the reporter’s analysis of the events. "Paul's cool. Wish he and Kaley would get their act together." He reached for his drink and swallowed a few mouthfuls.

  "Well?" the reporter asked. "Can I interview you?"

  "Does it have to be on tape?" Robert tilted his head in the direction of the cameraman.

  Jack motioned to the man who shifted his seat to the corner of the room, his camera resting on his lap. The reporter pulled out a pad of paper and a pen. "Okay, first question, how are you?"

  "Fine, I guess. Healing."

  "Second, why did you do it? Why did you fight?"

  Robert stuck his chopsticks into the empty box and tossed it into the garbage can. "We got a negotiated peace. Everybody gots their own territory. Devil's Blood's been comin’ into our territory and pickin’ fights with my guys. I sent a guy in to talk with Juan. My guy got killed.”

  Robert ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. “It turns out it wasn't a piece of Shoresmen territory they wanted, it was the whole thing. That's personal. I'm leader and if I can’t defend that then I don’t deserve it. Juan, I knew I could take, but Death was a new kid. Tough bastard, too. It's simple, I fought 'cause I had to."

  The reporter pulled a chair closer and sat. "Why didn't you just kill them?"

  "The killin's gotta stop somewhere."

  "What about the member of your own gang? That was a coup attempt."

  "Marco's a renegade. He'll eventually split from me, take some members and start his own gang, which I’ll have to deal with. I don't know how I survived his fight. I thought I was dead. My arms were so tired. Somehow, I shattered his elbow. That surprised him. Knockin' him out was easy."

  "Why didn't you use your knife?" The reporter scratched rapid notes onto the small pad.

  "I never pull my knife first."

  Jack’s head snapped up and he stared at Robert. "But three guys came at you, all with knives."

  "Again I say, the killin’s gotta stop somewhere.” He shifted and adjusted the blankets. “If the Shoresmen leader won't stop killin’ then why should anybody else?"

  The reporter’s brow wrinkled. "So you have a knife?”

  Robert nodded.

  “Do you own a gun?"

  “No.”

  "Why not? Seems a bit odd to me that the leader of a street gang doesn't carry a gun." He scratched his head with his pen.

  Robert flicked his hair off his forehead. "Don't need one. Got like fifty bodyguards. If someone were to take a shot at me, he'd get hit in a sec. 'Sides guns are the chickenshit way out."

  "Pardon?"

  "It's easy to shoot someone. Ya don't gotta to be close. Hell, ya can hide behind somethin' and shoot. That's not...."

  The simple touch of Julie resting her hand on Robert’s leg broke his train of thought. He hesitated for a moment. "If I'm gonna kill somebody, I'm gonna want them to look me in the eyes. I'm gonna want them to know who it was that got 'em. Using my knife or fists makes the fight... more personal. Almost intimate."

  No one spoke while the reporter recorded Robert’s words and his thoughts. He looked at Julie then back to Robert and smiled. "I want to change subjects. Westland and this lovely lady."

  Is he never gonna leave? Robert ran his hand back and forth under his nose. "That part of my life I don't got fi
gured out yet."

  “From what I have gathered, you were sent to Westland Prep as a probation thing. Go to school or do time. Mrs. Emily Murran is paying a large part of your tuition, but you still pay the rest. I’m also guessing she’s footing the bill for this hospital room.”

  “Yea, so what?”

  "What did you do?”

  “Got in a fight." Truth's too ugly to tell.

  "Uh, this is where I come in," Julie interrupted. "You're hiding something. Why did you get into a fight?"

  He rustled the blankets. "I was mad. I picked a fight."

  "Truth, come on." She tapped his leg.

  Robert didn’t lift his gaze to meet hers. "Leave it at that."

  "This man is trying to get to know you. You. Not the Shoresmen leader and you won't put your defences down long enough.” Julie reached for his hand and held it. “You said you got in a fight, well that's the gang leader talking. I want to know why Robert fought. What made you so angry?"

  Robert inhaled and heaved a sigh then released the story in a burst. "The guy in the apartment next to mine raped his daughter. I stopped him. When he woke up in the hospital, he blamed me. Cops came to bust me and I kinda took out my anger with my fists. Girl refused to speak, but DNA cleared me. Judge went lenient. Said he understood why I lost my temper but I shouldn'ta pounded the cop."

  A mask of intense emotional pain crossed Robert’s face. Julie squeezed his hand. "What happened to the girl?"

  Robert shook his head.

  "What happened to the little girl?"

  He lifted his can for a drink. It was empty. He tossed it toward the garbage can but missed. It rolled on the floor. "She ran away from her foster home, slashed her wrists. They found her floatin' in the bay." He picked at an invisible spot on the bed. "Damn, I hate livin' in Shore."

  Julie sniffed. "I'm sorry."

  "We've said that a lot to each other lately." Robert’s gaze met hers.

  "That brings us back to you two.” The reporter’s voice startled them. “This is like Romeo and Juliet. Rich girl and gang member. How did you two meet?"

  "Ya field this one, Julie. You're the romantic one."

  "He arrived at my high school. We talked and one thing led to another and here we are."

  "That's it!" Robert laughed. "Hell, I thought I was havin' trouble understandin' us."

  "Anything else you want to add before I go?"

  "I don't want ya to glorify the gang.” Robert forced himself to look at the reporter. “It sounds great belongin’ to one, but it's not. It's a little pathetic. To some kid in Midtown or Westland, it looks like we ride around on motorcycles and look cool. We live in a part of town that’s ugly and violent, and this is our means of escapin’ that reality. We’re all too proud, tough or numb to admit it, but it's the truth."

  "Why did you join?"

  "I had a very disgustin’ childhood, but because the gang was there, I survived." He shrugged. "That's why I fought."

  The reporter stood next to the bed. "Thank you for talking with me. Good luck at Westland." Robert and he shook hands, then the reporter and cameraman left.

  Julie scooted up the bed and bent closer to kiss Robert. He raised a hand to stop her. “There's still a bunch of stuff about me that I've pushed so far down. I don't know if it’ll ever come up."

  "We've got the rest of our lives."

  "You've got a dance career to follow." Which means somehow I have to let you go.

  "I have to get the job first."

  "You will.” Damn it.

  ***

  When Julie arrived home, she found her parents watching the evening news. On the screen was the reporter from the hospital. "This is Jack Hanes with a wrap up to the gang fight story. This evening I had the privilege of interviewing Robert Holiday, the Shoresmen leader. I say privilege because he’s one of the more interesting people I’ve interviewed. The following is the interview, unedited except a tiny clip added on at the end. Robert didn’t know he was being recorded and when he finds out, I hope he’ll accept that trickery was the only way I could get his story to the air."

  The picture shifted to the hospital room. Julie realized that when the cameraman moved he’d turned on his camera and sat while everyone else talked. As her parents watched the image on the screen, Julie replayed the scenes in her mind, Robert talking about fighting Blood and Death's leader and then Marco. His talking about how he ended up at Westland, their relationship and his concerns about the reporter romancing the life of a gang member. After the interview was ended, the screen showed Robert and the reporter shaking hands then the additional clip of Julie leaning over to kiss Robert.

  The camera turned back to the reporter in the studio. "I leave you with this thought. This young lady, Julie Anderson, is obviously in love with Robert and he with her. What is it that she so easily spotted in this person that the rest of us failed to see? And more importantly, why is it we failed to see it? Thank you, Julie and Robert. You opened this reporter's eyes. I'm Jack Hanes reporting for CBHY."

  The screen went black as her mother used the remote to shut off the TV.

  "Do you love him?" Julie's father's gaze met hers.

  She nodded. "Very much."

  He glanced at his wife and raised his eyebrows.

  ***

  As Julie lay down on her bed, she could feel the warmth of Robert’s lips and the touch of his hands. Did she love him? Yes. Did he love her? In her heart, she felt he did. All he lacked was the way to tell her. She’d be patient and help him learn to say, "I love you."

  Chapter Seventeen

  By one p.m. Wednesday, Robert had signed the release forms and headed for the hospital's main doors. When they opened, a fresh November breeze brushed across his face. He stepped out and quietly celebrated freedom.

  "Ready to go home?" Mrs. Anderson called and waved. "Car's over here."

  "Not home. Your place." He headed toward her car. "I really like living with ya, but it's not my home. It's time I go look for an apartment."

  "If you try to go to work and school and look after yourself, it'll take you longer to recover."

  "I feel fine." Robert glanced at Mrs. Anderson's growing belly. "Ya don't need the extra work." He tossed his backpack onto the backseat.

  "Bill and I have no problem with you staying with us. This way I can make sure you eat and sleep. I promise, I'll try and not mother you too much."

  "It's nothin' personal. You're a nice lady. I just don't want a mother." As he shut the car door, he remembered Tuesday's argument with Julie. "And I really don't wanna go to this wedding thing." He clenched his jaw. "Julie rambled on about it Monday and yesterday. My response of no wouldn't sink in."

  "I can understand you feeling uncomfortable about that, and I'm not going to insist you come along." She paused at a stop sign then turned onto the main street. "As long as you promise to take it easy this weekend."

  He scratched his chin. "Julie wants me to go."

  "She wants to be with you. What's wrong with that? "

  "Nothin'. Just Robert-paranoia." For the rest of the drive home, Robert watched the passing scenery. In the days he'd spent in the hospital, the leaves had fallen from the trees. The vibrant fall colors changed to a stark, naked bleakness. The warm sunny days changed to damp and cloudy. His mood, the trees and the weather all seemed very similar.

  Once they reached the Anderson household, Robert thanked her for the ride and walked up to his room. He entered without turning on the lights. On the bed was a small, white, teddy bear ballerina with a pink frilly tutu and two magazines, Motorcycle Monthly and Horse Review. As he moved the teddy bear aside, he disturbed a folded pink piece of paper. When he picked it up, he caught a faint whiff of Julie's perfume. He held it close to his nose and inhaled.

  Closing his eyes, he could visualize her face, especially her lips. He shivered remembering the night at the dance studio and the fragrance of her skin, kissed by this perfume. He tossed his bag into the corner, sat on the bed and opened
the letter.

  Hi,

  Here are some presents to welcome you home. The magazines are to give you something to do because I bet Mom just sent you to your room. She may not be your mother and I know you don't want her to be, but she worries about you. Don't blame her. She can't help it. Worrying is what moms do best.

  The teddy bear is to keep you company while I'm at school. She'll watch over you while you sleep and listen to your problems when you're awake. The first problem you can talk about is your pushy girlfriend. The one who's pressuring you to go to some stupid wedding. Sorry, but I want you to meet the rest of my family because I love you and I'm proud of you.

  I have to go now. Francine's honking the horn. Hugs and Kisses. See you when I get home. I'm so glad you're back.

  Love,

  J

  Robert leaned back on the headboard and picked up the teddy bear. "So you're supposed to protect me, eh?" Holding the letter near his nose, he closed his eyes and inhaled. Thoughts of Julie soon changed into dreams of Julie.

  The individual who dominated his dreams stood outside his bedroom door. She knocked then pushed it open. The mid-autumn setting sun cast a ray of light crossways on the bed. Beneath that beam slept Robert, still clutching her letter.

  Julie tiptoed across the floor and stood beside his bed. He stirred but didn't awaken. She caressed his cheek with her hand and ran her fingertips across his lips then bent over and kissed him. Robert awoke and returned her kiss with passion. She struggled to free herself from his close embrace.

  "The door's open and Mom's downstairs." She settled on the edge of the bed. "How are you feeling?"

  "I was just about to show you but you cut me off."

  A shiver shot through Julie's body at the lusty tone of his voice. She picked up the teddy bear. "I see you got my present."

  "Yea. And if you ever tell the guys you got me this...." He wrapped his right arm around her waist, pulling her back onto his stomach then tickled her ribs.