The Beginning of Never

by O. E. Boroni

  Kate grabbed my hand and dragged me along as we headed over to meet the boys. She seemed to be jumping out of her skin with excitement and I had no idea why, but all that faded when we stood face to face with the six boys … and Nathan’s blue eyes, locked with mine.

  He was at the extreme end with James by his side, and averted his eyes as soon as they had locked with mine. James said something to him as Elka called out the girls that would be collaborating with their team, and he smiled, the heart-stopping grin that I had been subject to all morning. Unlike the rest of us with jerseys, he had on a white t-shirt that although loose on his lower body, clung perfectly to his sturdy upper body.

  Kate’s small squeal startled me as her name was called, and she, along with two other girls went over to join the boy’s team. I didn’t recover early enough to feel disappointed that I wasn’t chosen to be on his team, until we had taken our positions on the court with me at the extreme right corner of the back row. The pressure was on, now more than ever, and I was so sure that I was going to completely humiliate myself.

  With a loud shrill of the whistle from Elka, who was now the referee, the game began. Kate served excellently from her side of the court. It flew through the air, bounded off the arms of the two players in our team that were supposed to receive it, and was sent back by the third to Nathan’s team. It came back almost immediately with a dizzyingly fast block that was played by a really tall boy next to the net, and of course, hit the ground of our court to the delight of his teammates – a point to them and none to us.

  The point of the game was to earn points by grounding the ball on the opposing team’s court or having them commit a fault, which I did more than twice by both touching the ball consecutively, and completely missing it when it was passed to me. After the first set, which brought the other team to twenty-five points to our thirteen, I started to consider pleading with the team to let me go. I was doing more harm than good.

  They all spread out to retrieve their water bottles as soon as we had a break, so I was left standing and looking lost in the middle of the court. I did manage to find my hair tie, which had flown away during the game, and used it to secure my sprawling hair- more tightly this time around.

  Heading up to the bleachers, I sat behind the team as they talked and drank, thinking of how to bring up the subject of my leaving. I could always say that I had developed a headache or that I was sick – anything, but I just had to get out of there. I had caught Nathan’s gaze on mine only once during the game and it was when I had let the ball, that had been clearly aiming for me, pass through my outstretched arms. It had been humiliating, and I had quickly looked away to hide my shame.

  Another loud shrill brought us together, and Elka addressed us. “Some people have brought the obvious fact to our attention that some of you are suffering out there.” She said. I quickly looked away, but turned back when I heard everyone laugh as she pointedly looked at a red-haired boy on Nathan’s team. He was apparently worse that I was. I had been too occupied with my own failures to notice.

  “So we’re switching members …” she said, and she raised her voice to speak over those who had started to grumble, “… since this is a friendly game and we’re supposed to have fun and help each other!”

  “Alexandre and … Kate, would you exchange with …” She turned to examine our team. “Marcus and James.” She looked again. “Laura and Sam, please exchange with Joseph and … Lenora. No! Stacy.” She examined her damage. “I think that should do. Hope everyone is okay with that. We begin in three minutes guys,” she said, and the new teams returned to their seats to get acquainted.

  Kate immediately latched onto me as we walked back, but I was too nervous to pay attention enough to scold her for getting me involved in this in the first place. We took our seats and to my surprise, Nathan came over and sat next to me, a sports water bottle in his hand. Kate tightened her hold on my arm, but when I turned to ask her what was wrong, she just stared straight ahead, her neck stiff and lips tightened.

  “Are you thirsty?” Nathan asked, and although I for some reason couldn’t meet his eyes, I nodded and took the bottle he offered.

  “You’re doing well out there,” he mocked, and this time I met his eyes with a murderous glare. He grinned. I raised the bottle to my mouth and after a good, long drink, handed it back to him. He immediately raised the bottle to his lips and took a good long drink for himself.

  The lower part of my stomach tightened in response to the familiarity of his act, but there was no time to dwell. It was time to get back on the court. However, just before we split up and took our positions, he briefly held my hand and whispered into my ear, “Just have fun.”

  I shook my head. “Impossible.”

  He let go with a smile, and headed to his front row position while I headed to the back. I met Kate’s frown as she headed to the front too, and I wondered what her problem was.

  Nathan got me to serve the ball, twice, and each time he came to my side and softly spoke instructions to me. It was uncomfortable because a lot of eyes were on us, but there was too much pressure all around for me to dwell on that. The game was too quick for him to guide me in playing properly, but each time I played in a weak way, he mouthed corrections as quickly as he could.

  Time for dinner drew dangerously close and so we decided to end the game after the second set, which brought us to a win over the other team with twenty-five points to twenty-two. A tie in total, and I was more than happy when the whistle shrilled the game to an end. Nathan walked off toward James without a word, leaving me subtly staring after him until Kate came up to me.

  “What the hell just happened?” she asked, and I turned a puzzled gaze on her.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Alexandre,” she said. “How do you know him?”

  “Uh, we just met a while ago.”

  Her voice rose. “He’s the one I’ve been telling you about. Why didn’t you tell me you were friends with him?”

  I noticed a couple of heads turned to us so I frowned at her. “How was I supposed to know he was the one that you were talking about? And we’re not friends. I just know him.”

  “How can you say you aren’t friends, or did I not just watch the both of you practically play the game together?”

  I was surprised that she seemed so upset about it. "I didn't know he was the one you were talking about, okay?" I said, but she scoffed in disbelief.

  "That can’t be true.”

  “I’m serious,” I insisted, wondering why I was even bothering to convince her.

  “I told you he was Italian.”

  "Nathan's not Italian Kate, he's Portuguese," I said.

  She was confused. "Wait, what? Who's Nathan?"

  I realized my error. "I mean Alex. Nathan's his middle name."

  Her mouth dropped open, and I wanted to slap it shut.

  "You already know his middle name?" she yelled, and I cringed from the noise. More heads turned.

  "Kate you seriously need to stop yelling."

  "But why didn't you tell me?"

  "Again," I repeated, close to snapping. "I didn't know he was the one you were referring to."

  "When did you guys meet? How did you start talking to each other?"

  With an irritated look at her, I turned around and walked away.

  “Lenora,” she called and she came after me. I tried to think of the best way to end this fuss.

  "We're family people," I said and she frowned.

  "What's that supposed to mean?"

  I didn't know what to say so I just ignored her, and grabbed my bag to head over to the locker room to change. She did the same.

  "Tell me," she insisted.

  "I'm really tired Kate, I'll tell you some other time, okay? Trust me it's not that interesting," I said.

  "Fine then, but could you introduce me to him ... tonight at dinner?"

  I groaned. "Kate, don't push this, I can barely stand the boy."

  "Well it
's not for you Lenora, it's for me. Can you please do it or not?"

  "Fine," I muttered, needing her to drop the issue. She squealed in delight. I couldn’t believe he was the one that she and Olivia had been pining over. I wasn’t overly surprised, but I did feel stupid. It should have occurred to me.

  We changed quickly and were soon on our way to the dining hall, but I couldn’t help thinking- what the hell had I just agreed to?

  *

  Kate made me go earlier than I would have to the dining hall, and we secured a table not far from the one Nathan had been at the previous night. We weren't too close, but at least we would be able to see him if he sat there again. Her friends were all on our table too because apparently, Nathan was the object of many a teenage obsession. I didn’t realize I had started to wish that he wouldn’t show up, until he strolled in with James a few minutes later and I’d felt depressed. He had now changed from his sports attire and was in a white hoodie, and dark jeans.

  Returning my gaze to the novel I had since lost concentration in, I wondered how I was going to tell a boy I was barely acquainted with to come over and play Casanova. I was dreading it, and barely held myself from snapping at Kate when she called me to alert me to his presence.

  “Go bring him over,” she mouthed, and I gave her a ‘you're-out-of-your-mind look’.

  "Lennie," she urged.

  I asked her if she was joking, "You want me to go over there and speak to someone that the whole school apparently has eyes on?"

  "Come on."

  "No way," I said. "I don't want to be labeled the next obsessed idiot – no offense. I'll try to get him to come over instead."

  Turning my head, I tried to make eye contact with him but he was talking to James, and after a few minutes, I realized with a sunken heart that he was never going to look my way. I had to get up. I first of all made sure to tell Kate how much I hated her, and then I walked over to his table with a stern face, just in case anyone thought I was going there because I was smitten.

  I was met with his soft gaze as I approached, and I sighed at how impossibly attractive he was. His hair was now slicked back from his face, and his eyes were intense enough to burn. I didn’t blame Kate or any of the others waiting for him at the table. The first time I had laid eyes on him I had felt incredibly stunned, of course it hadn’t held me back from breaking a tray on him and for that I felt braver than all the others. I hoped he wouldn't humiliate me too much as I reached his table, but before I could speak James looked up at me and smiled.

  "Hey Lenora," he greeted, and I smiled back at him.

  "Hey James," I responded before turning to Nathan. He was sitting on the edge of the bench.

  "I need a favor from you," I said, low enough so that only he could hear what I was saying. He arched an eyebrow in surprise.

  "Okay?" he said calmly, and I didn't fail to notice how the hall had suddenly become less noisy. Why was I just realizing all this now after I’d all but doused his face with spaghetti the previous night? I groaned as I took a quick glance around to catch the curious eyes on us. He noticed my distress.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked.

  “Apparently half the school’s in love with you,” I said.

  “That’s not true,” he said and I fought a smile.

  “So,” he continued, “what’s the favor?”

  “Someone wants to meet you," I said, eager to get this over with. He studied me for a moment.

  "Why?" he asked, his voice back to the chilling calm I was familiar with.

  After considering the question for a moment, I said, “I don’t think it’ll be proper to explicitly tell you why, so could we just take it as a favor? Please?”

  He continued to watch me and I began to squirm under his gaze, at a complete loss on what was going through his mind. I expected that he was surprised, but what I prayed that he wouldn’t be was offended, or rude if he did want to turn me down.

  "Okay," he finally said, and my head snapped up in surprise.

  “Are you serious?”

  “Yeah,” he said, like we were just going for ice-cream instead of going to prostitute him. Now I really wanted him to say no.

  “Why didn’t you say no?”

  He was just about to get up as I said that, so he sat back down.

  He sighed. “What do you want?”

  “What do you want?”

  “I just want to eat my dinner.”

  “Well I thought you’d say no.”

  “I thought so too,” he said. “Do you want me to say no?”

  I considered this for a moment, and finally said, “I don’t know. I think we should just go and get it over with. It’s not a big deal.”

  “Okay,” he said, and he rose to go with me. James was watching us, probably wondering what was going on but he didn’t ask so we left without speaking to him.

  What the hell are you doing? I kept asking myself as we headed towards my table. I wasn’t even certain that I could come up to talk to him whenever I wanted and here I was, acting the pimp. And worse, he obliged. It has to be out of pity, I thought, and shook my head at how pathetic I had become.

  When we reached the table, I immediately went to my seat while he took the one that Kate had reserved for him beside her. I sat across from them and gazed at Kate, but she refused to look at him. She was trying to pretend like she didn't even notice that someone was sitting beside her and that aggravated me. Nathan smiled.

  "Kate!" I called sharply, and she looked up at me, but shifted slightly away from Nathan.

  I couldn't believe it. I had embarrassed myself for her and she was acting as though she was mute. I didn't know whether to slap her or flat out abuse her.

  "This is Nathan," I eventually said, my voice thick with contempt.

  It got her to raise her head to him, and mumble a greeting. Nathan, instead of being as irritated as I was, smiled and looked at her like she was the cutest thing since Oreos. He asked her a question, she answered, and they took it from there. I looked away and left them to it.

  Nathan participated more fully than I would have expected him to. He spoke in his usual quiet voice, but it was more than enough to continuously draw giggles from Kate. It sounded like they were having so much fun that at a point, I had to look up from the book that I had been pretending to be engrossed in to see what was happening.

  He was saying something about volleyball and she was grinning like an idiot, all traces of shyness gone. He had completely charmed her, making little jokes that made her laugh and made my eyes widen.

  He can actually be this warm? I wondered. Three seconds after meeting Kate he was acting like they were best friends, but it took us countless accidents to get to the point where we could even be civil with one another. The distaste and look of betrayal was apparently obvious in my gaze, because he smiled as he glanced up at me and said, "You can't blame me. She’s cool."

  Kate giggled again and I made sure to send her a look that warned her to control herself. I picked up my novel and tried to shut them out.

  "Ahem," I heard him clear his throat, and I looked up to meet his gaze, and Kate's sparkling eyes.

  "Um, My Blood Approves?" he asked, referring to the title of my novel.

  "Do me a favor and mind your own business Nathan," I said.

  He smiled, but Kate on the other hand was shocked at my tone; she couldn’t seem to understand how anyone could be rude to Nathan.

  "Lenora ..." she chided and I thought about pounding her head into the table. They returned to their chat, but when Kate said something to him and he bent down to plant a soft peck on her cheek, everyone froze, especially me. Somehow, my book left my hands and clattered noisily as it landed on the wooden table.

  Nathan got up immediately after that, and without even a glance at me he walked back to his seat. Kate on the other hand had turned every shade of red. I felt a pain come into a corner of my chest that made me feel as if my heart was splitting into two.

  Ignoring it, I p
icked my book back up, and told myself that she had to have been the one that had requested the kiss. Her friends however didn’t think so; they were barely able to keep their excited voices down as they jostled her.

  She was the star for today; Alexandre Roque had kissed her.

  « CHAPTER 12 »

  The weather was warm the next Monday morning, so at lunchtime, I was sitting in the courtyard and getting ready to dive into my meal. Class had barely registered in my memory since I hadn't been able to stop thinking about the kiss that Nathan had given to Kate, and how he’d properly ignored that I existed.

  It bothered me more how much it had plagued me since then, but no amount of control on my part had been able to reign in the disheartening thoughts. Now however, and for a change, I was more than happy to focus on my beautiful golden French fries. But five minutes later, I was interrupted.

  "Nora," I heard Nathan call. I turned around and saw him coming towards me. My mouth was loaded with fries so to salvage some shred of dignity, I looked away and chewed faster so that I could send the food down my throat before he reached my table.

  “Don’t call me Nora,” I said when he reached me. I tried not to notice how good he looked.

  “Oh, so we’re back to that?” he asked, but before I could answer, he sat down and drew my tray to him.

  "Hey, give that back," I said as I reached for it, but he held it away and parted his lips to give me the most beautiful smile I had seen yet. I cringed.

  "What is wrong with you?" I complained. "You're all smiles these days."

  He chuckled and grabbed my drink from the tray before returning it to me. I watched him take a sip from my straw and my insides began to melt. I should have been irritated but at that moment, all I wanted was to take the cup back and wrap my lips around it too.

  You’re crazy! I yelled in my head, and shook it to dispel my lunacy so that I could work up an appropriate reaction.