by Sanchit Garg
I locked the door and walked to the Sarpanch’s house, the most prominent person in the panchayat. I believed he was the right person to discuss what I wanted to do. Once inside his home, I explained what I wanted with him.
“Yes! This is a good thought. But, can you give me something in writing, as to what you want to do with the house? As this is your ancestral home, having something like that would make it easier for others to own it.”
I did as he asked, clearly specifying that the house was to be used for free education of children. I handed him the keys and was about to walk out when the thought of previous deaths came to my mind.
I stopped and asked, “So, everything is okay in the village. Everyone fit and healthy?”
He smiled, “Yes! The best it can be. No one died after your family moved out. Everyone is happy these days, living their life peacefully.”
I looked at his face and analysed his expressions to find whether he was faking it or telling the truth, but it didn’t feel like a lie.
No one died, but then what was befalling here? Is it a curse that has stricken only our family or maybe me? If it is, I need to go to the old-abandoned house and plead to it, to not to kill anyone else, but if it still wants to, it can take my life, for once and for all. Nandana would be badly hurt, but at least there would be no more deaths. I hope she can understand what I am trying to do.
“That’s good. We are also living peacefully there.”
I finally walked out of his home, knowing that I had to reach back home early as I couldn’t leave the two of them alone for long.
I headed towards the old-abandoned house, taking slow steps and being cautious of anyone else not to find me going there, but someone called me out. I turned to my right to find the old man, Padmaja, staring at me.
“Rameshwar! I had a feeling I would see you again.”
“What are you saying?”
“You should have stayed away from that house.”
I was scared, “What is happening there? What do you know? Please tell me.”
“Nothing that would benefit you or your family. What’s done is done. Go back to them.”
“Yes! I am going.”
He went back inside his home, and without thinking anymore, I started walking towards the house.
I finally got the ill-fated chance to once again walk inside the devil's house. It hadn’t changed a single bit. The same pungent smell came into my nose, the same rooms, the same broken walls and furniture. In one word, it just felt repugnant and unbearable. Then I remembered my childrens faces.
I went to the room where I saw Vijay first. But this time, no one was there. Just the same old broken furniture. I walked back into the middle of the hall, and with my knees on the floor, I pleaded, “Please! Whoever there is- a ghost or this house. Please don’t kill anyone else in my family! Please tell me what you want, I would give you anything. Just don’t kill anyone else. Please, if I am at fault, just kill me. Haven’t you hurt me enough? Haven’t you killed my family and me from the inside? Please just don’t do anything more. Just don’t. Just tell me what I ever did to you to make you do this to me. Anything I can do to stop or reverse every bad thing that happened or is about to happen to my family.”
No one replied.
I kept shouting, I kept sobbing, but no one responded.
“Why do you do this? Please respond Goddammit... Why’re you doing this to me…?”
No response. There was no sound except for mine. The place was deserted and empty, and there was no one to hear me out.
I walked again to the room where I found Vijay before. In anger, I hit my foot and hands, on the grimy objects and walls, but there was no response.
I screamed, “I am hurting you, please reply, just what do you want from me? If you want one more life, take mine and be done with it. I am here in your arms, in your house, you don’t even need to go anywhere else to kill anyone. If you still aren’t interested in telling me what you did to me, please tell me how do I stop myself from killing all the people I love?"
No one responded. It was all so still.
I hit the dining table, or whatever was left of it, nothing happened to it, but my leg hurt due to that, and I felt a sudden chill as if a cold wind blew from somewhere. I smiled and waited for something else to happen, but nothing happened.
No one replied to me. The chill just ended on its own. No matter how hard I tried to hit it again, nothing happened. I went from one room to the other looking for any clues, but there was nothing. I tried the secret path through the chest, but it didn’t result in anything. I just went in and came back all good. There was just nothing worth my time. Dejected and confused, I reached back into the hall and started walking towards the entrance when instead of exiting from the gate, I hit my head on the wall.
The next moment I remember was of me, laying on my left side, facing away from a thumping and eerie sound which hurt my ears, but I gathered up the courage to flip over to see if something was there. I spun around and found myself staring into the black depths of a shadowy figure. It was only a couple of feet from me, and I could see it hunched over and swaying slightly. It was strangely gaunt to the point of emaciation. Just like a giant skeleton recently disinterred from the grave with jagged teeth and no lips.
A feeling of dread and turmoil washed all over me. I said a quick prayer even though I had never prayed on my own, but I had heard my mother saying it a long time back, so I just spoke up whatever I remembered. But nothing happened. It kept on getting closer and closer. My heart, felt like a terrified bird, slamming around inside my chest. I couldn’t catch my breath. I wasn’t sure what to do. I clenched my fists tightly to calm myself and somehow blanked out.
The next moment I remember is walking towards the correct direction of the gate. I wanted something to happen, anything, but it didn’t. Just nothing happened at all, no matter how much I wanted it too. I quickly walked out of the cursed place. I had faith in the Babaji and believed that everything had already subsided.
No more worries anymore. Maybe the ghost didn’t reply because now it got what it wanted, the house, to which we are no longer linked. Now I can go back. We would be happy again. I can’t wait to share my happiness with Nandana and my mother. Maybe, my mother is back to normal too. I know it’s not much, but we three can still have a good enough life. Hopefully, we can get a child someday, and she can laugh again. But I knew that this hope would get me nowhere. My dreams made me want what I couldn't have. This love for everything was just another attempt to fix my broken heart and my broken family.
Out of my thoughts, I looked around me and at the sky to find out that it was completely dark. I was confused. When I entered the house, it must have been noon. But now, it looks like the night. Hell! I didn’t even spend more than half an hour inside.
How did this happen? How much time can pass in one go? Did I hit my head on the wall and blacked out, or was it just a dream? But, I don’t remember falling or fainting. So, how is this possible? And who was that shadowy figure, if there really was one and it was not just my imagination? I don’t know about that, but I need to hurry back home. I promised Nandana that I would be back soon and once again, I have given her a reason to be mad at me and hate me. Why do I do this? Why do I always make her hate me?
drove back home through the darkness, as fast as I could. Fog crawled over the countryside as I drove, lining the road were shadowy contours of trees standing like dead sentinels at the gates of purgatory. I was going at a speed of 120 kilometres per hour when I slammed on my brakes hard at the sight of a Neelgai.
A minute passed. Then two. Four and I finally realised what I had done. I was about to give Nandana more pain by hurting myself. I should be wary of my own life. What would she do without me? It would be so hard for her. I just can’t hope to see her like that.
Coming back to my senses, I started the car back and drove again.
Once home, I parked the car and went in through the main gate. I reached
the front gate and stood outside.
I shouted, “Nandana! Nandana!”
No reply.
I called out her name again and banged on the door, but still, there was no response at all. I checked the door, and it was not locked. Why is this not locked? I felt a terrifying chill come over me and it badly frightened me, that my teeth chattered, and even an hour outside in the hot sun couldn’t have stopped this shivering of mine. It felt brooding and bitter. Pulling the door out, I rushed inside through the gallery and then into the hall. I called out her name again, but no one replied.
At this point, I was sweating way badly. I rushed to my room, and it was empty. I checked the kitchen, drawing room, living room, dining room, even the toilets, but she was nowhere to be found. With every passing moment, a pain was engrossing in my heart. Where did she go? She can’t leave me like this?
Now I shifted to look for her in the other rooms, I checked the guest room, then Mohan’s room, and then I finally went to my mother’s room where my mother was in one corner of the room, sitting on her chair.
I looked at her bed, and Nandana was calmly sleeping on my mother’s bed.
You little devil! You know how frightened I was? And here you are sleeping as if nothing matters. I don’t blame you, you must be tired. So, sleep some more.
I walked towards the bed and sat on it, close enough, as if not to wake her. She looked so cute. I slowly brought my hand towards her head and touched it.
So…so…cold. Why is she this cold?
My heartbeat may have doubled, tripled even and I was just staring at her, hoping that she would wake at any moment. I tried to shake her by the hand, but she didn’t budge.
Something was wrong. Deep down in my heart, I knew something wrong had happened, bad enough to destroy all meaning to my life. The one who I had loved more than anything may have flown by. I wanted to curse the ghost, whoever or whatever did this, but my eyes were paining, tears kept on rolling down. I took her in my arms, placing her head on my lap and then I brought her body close to my chest, hoping if she gets warmth from me, she will open her eyes. I waited and waited, and just looked at her closed eyes, but nothing, nothing happened.
There was this emptiness inside me that told me that my life as I knew it was over the moment I went into that house. I should have listened to the old man, Padmaja, and straight away came back home, but I didn't.
I looked closely at her face, it was pale and lifeless. I couldn’t even do anything.
I looked around. Mother was sleeping on her chair. I touched her, she was warm. But why wasn’t Nandana warm too? It’s wasn't even cold in here. I kept looking at Nandana’s face when I remembered the dream from a few days back.
Was she in danger? Did the dream meant something? Just why isn’t she waking up now?
A few more minutes passed, and I realised that I needed to take her to the hospital.
She’s going to be okay. She always does. It’s just a fever or something else.
I grabbed her body in my arms and then dropped her slowly on the bed again. I remembered that I had to grab the car keys. All the time, I didn’t even look at my mother or realize that she would have needed something. I didn’t even know if she had eaten something or not.
I went to my room, grabbed the car keys and then rushed back to my mother’s room to grab Nandana in my arms again, and after lifting her, I rushed to the car. She wasn’t heavy, but it felt so cold. I placed her on the seat next to the driver seat and drove to the town hospital as fast as I could.
I reached the hospital in just ten minutes, covering a distance of twenty kilometres like it was nothing. I opened the car door and grabbed her again, lifting her in my arms. I rushed to the reception and told the receptionist to save her, no matter what it took, in an angry and helpless voice. He quickly called for one of the attendants to help me get her to the Doctor’s room.
The attendant brought a wheelchair and asked me to put her down on it.
I yelled at him, “No! She would remain with me.”
He scoffed, “Okay! Just follow me, then.”
Once inside the Doctor’s room, I slowly placed her down on the hospital bed.
The Doctor inquired, “So, what happened to her?”
I pleaded, “I don’t know anything, but you have to wake her up. She's not waking up.”
“Any allergies, health issues or anything that I need to know of.”
You, idiot. Her life is hanging here by the minute. Just check her and give her some medicine or a shot to get her better.
“Nothing at all!”
By this time, he started to run a few tests on her.
“There is no pulse. I can’t do anything. She’s dead.”
I shouted at him, “No more! Are you mad? She's alive, she’s just sleeping, please save her! Do what you have to do, just save her. I will pay you whatever it takes. Help her wake up. Hell! I would even be your slave for life, save her, Please!
A tear dropped from my eyes, and I was about to cry.
“No matter what you say to me, she is no more. No one can save her.”
I wanted to kill him, but somehow I stopped myself. In anger, I quickly grabbed Nandana in my arms and lifted her up as I walked out of the hospital.
These are all idiots, just because they don’t want to work, they are telling lies. All she needs is some medicine, and she would laugh again. I need to rush to the city hospital. The doctors there are more learned, unlike the fake ones in this town. They couldn’t even repair my mother. I was an idiot to bring her first to them. I would take my mother to the city hospital too.
I rushed to my car, and after slowly dropping Nandana on the seat next to the driver’s seat again, I drove straight away to the city. The city was around 95 kilometres away, and it took me two hours to get there, all the while continually yelling at people blocking my path, be it a horse carriage, another car or a passer-by.
I reached the hospital and left the car on the roadside. Lifting Nandana in my arms, I rushed towards the entrance of the hospital. I hadn’t eaten the food that she packed me, and it was already 10 pm, but who cared, I didn’t even feel hungry or anything at that moment.
I rushed to the reception and pleaded, “Sir! I need urgent help. Please help me get her to the best doctor here.”
“Sure! Sure! Just take her to the first floor, room number- 29.”
All the while she was in my arms, the pain and cold felt nothing at all, there was only one thought in my mind, to wake her up somehow. I rushed up the stairs to the room where the doctor would see her.
Once inside the room, I screamed, “Doctor! Please help me. Do anything. But you have to help her. If she needs anything, take it from my body."
“Sir! You need to calm down. First, let me check her. Please place her on this bed.”
I did as he asked.
“And, can you please wait outside. You look frightened.”
Without saying anything, I just walked outside. He was my last hope. I had to do what he asked me to. While waiting outside, my eyes closed due to the exhaustion.
After a few minutes, I got back to my senses and walked inside. I was thrilled to see that Nandana was alive. She was breathing, and she smiled back at me. Seeing this, I wanted to cry and hold her in my hands.
“Doctor! What had happened to her?”
“It was just a minor concussion. She’s totally fine now, and you can take her back anytime.”
I wanted to jump and laugh. But then the thought as to why it even happened came into my mind, and I turned sad. She should never have had such a thing.
“Doctor! Please give her some medicine that would make sure that such a thing never happens again.”
He was about to speak up, but then my eyes abruptly closed themselves.
When I opened my eyes, I was still outside the doctor’s room, and I knew that it was just a dream. I entered the room, hoping that the dream would turn out to be true.
I inquired, “Doctor! Is she
ok now?”
“Sorry to say, but she can’t be saved. There’s no pulse. I even tried ECT on her, but there is nothing more that can be done. I have tried everything from my end. There is no bringing her back now.”
A tear dropped from his eyes too.
In this moment, I knew that some dreams can never come true and that he had really tried everything that he could. Finding out that she was no-more and that, there was nothing that I could do to bring her back, obliterated me from within.
“It appears that too much time has passed since she lost consciousness. I still can’t understand how this happened. I ran all the other tests, but they turned out to be normal.
“Yes! She was perfectly normal, no ailments, nothing.”
All the while I just looked at his lips hoping he would say that this was a joke, something, anything that would make a difference. But, nothing like that happened.
A few minutes passed, and then, he walked with a sorry face. I just kept looking towards him until he was no longer in the room. My heart shattered. No one was there to help me anymore. No one at all. I was out of all options, and I knew it. Deep down, I already knew there was no more helping her. But, who could make my heart understand?
The worst fear became a reality. The one who I was living for was no more. It was time I drove back home. My hands were shaking, but somehow I still grabbed her and lifted her back into my arms, I started walking to get out of the hospital. I just couldn’t look at her now knowing that I had failed her. I was about to drop her on the stairs when somehow I came back to my senses and shook my head hard. Reaching the car, I laid her again in the back seat and started the car. My mind was just blank. All it knew was to get home somehow.
But, there was no one there. It was in this moment that I realised that my mother was still at home. I wanted to die now, but who would take care of my mother. So, I couldn’t just now. My promise to Nandana had to wait for some more time.