Guilty Pleasures

by Deborah Fletcher Mello

  Everything about Alexander Barrett made her heart sing. He was her dream come true, and she imagined that any other time, in any other universe, it would all come to an abrupt end if she pinched herself. She was grateful that the stars had aligned in her favor. She turned on the sound system that had become one of her favorite amenities in the home. The sound track from the Broadway production of The Lion King swept through each room. The joyful beat of “I Just Can’t Wait to Be King” made her smile. It was one of Zachary’s favorites, and he played it over and over. Loving musical sound tracks was Zachary’s secret that she’d sworn to never tell.

  She closed her eyes and inhaled the music for a moment. It had been a good long while since all felt well in her small world. For over a year she’d watched in frustration as Zachary had tried to self-destruct, heartbreak fueling a wealth of hurt. He’d pulled away from everyone who cared about him, none of their friends or family able to turn things around. Convincing him to return back to his roots had taken months of begging and pleading, and for the first time it seemed as if her efforts hadn’t been futile. The bond between the brothers was proving to be a new lifeline for her as much as for the two of them.

  Inside her bedroom she changed into a pair of casual sweatpants and an oversized T-shirt. Pulling back the bedclothes, she slid the Barrett family photo from its hiding spot. Staring at the image, she couldn’t help but think that the two boys she’d fantasized about for so many years didn’t come close to measuring up to the two men she’d actually come to know.

  With the framed image in hand, she moved down the hallway to Zachary’s room. The closed door hid the explosion of clothes and junk that littered the space, every surface covered with something out of place. She shook her head, making a mental note to call for the cleaning service he’d been promising to contact.

  Weaving her way through the mess, she moved to the unmade bed and the nightstand cluttered with empty paper cups and well-worn magazines. She cleared enough space to prop the photo atop the wooden surface. Satisfied, she backed her way out and closed the door behind her. Halfway down the hall, she heard her cell phone chime. By the time she made it back to her room and the device resting on the bed, the image of Alexander had faded, replaced by the missed call sign.

  She was just a fingertip away from pushing the REDIAL button when Zachary burst through the front door, calling her name. His exuberance echoed in the volume of his tone as he made his way to her room, his large body lumbering in the entranceway.

  “Hey! Why’d you leave? Did you see me?”

  She smiled. “You looked good. Your punches were strong.”

  “My brother is a beast! He even got in the ring and sparred with me. I busted up his lip good!” Zachary laughed heartily.

  “Why would you do that?” Concern washed across her expression.

  “It was an accident. I didn’t do it on purpose. I caught him with a roundhouse kick. He didn’t duck in time. He took it well, though. Came back at me with a series of uppercuts that stung like hell! He was actually better than I thought he would be.”

  She shook her head, her tone admonishing. “I really wish you’d stop messing up his face. I love your brother’s face and I really love it without the bruises.”

  Her comment hit a nerve, his good mood seeping like air from a deflating balloon. Zachary cut an eye at her. “Can we spend one night not talking about how much you like my brother?”

  She gave him an eye roll, her dark gaze spinning skyward. “What’s gotten into you lately? Why are you suddenly having issues with me and your brother?”

  “I’m not having issues,” Zachary snapped. “I just don’t need to hear how special you think he is every ten seconds. I didn’t bring you here to be fawning all over him like some lovesick puppy.”

  Sarai stared at the man, her expression stunned. His comment was off-putting, leaving her with a bad taste. She snapped back, “You didn’t bring me here, so don’t get it twisted, Zachary Barrett. If anything, you tagged along with me.”

  “You threatened to come get my brother and bring him back to Thailand. So what?”

  “And the minute I booked the flight you suddenly had a change of heart. You couldn’t wait to get on the plane with me. I didn’t ask you to come!”

  There was a moment of pause. Zachary took a deep breath before he spoke again. “I don’t want to argue with you,” he said, his voice dropping back to a normal tone.

  “Then don’t,” Sarai answered. “I didn’t start this. You did.”

  Zachary moved into the room, easing to her side. He slid a heavy hand around her waist and drew her close against him. Sarai bristled, his touch unexpected, and unwanted.

  “What . . . what are you . . . what are you doing?” she stammered. She pressed both of her palms to his chest, pushing him from her.

  “I love you, Sarai, and I don’t want us to be at each other’s throats. You’re my best friend and well . . . I think you and I could really be good together. So I get a little crazy sometimes when all you do is talk about my brother.” He pulled her back to him, wanting to eliminate the air that filled the space between their two bodies.

  This time Sarai gave him a harsh punch to his chest as she wrenched herself from his grasp. “Are you serious right now?”

  Zachary looked confused. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

  “Because you know there will never be anything romantic between us. Kissing you would be like kissing my father. It should turn your stomach as much as the thought turns mine. Did you fall down and bump your head while you were in the ring?”

  Zachary sighed, then moved to the bedside and dropped down onto the mattress. His upper body fell forward as he leaned his elbows against his thighs. He blew another gust of air past his lips. “You and I were always so good together. What’s happened?”

  Sarai took a seat beside him. “We’re still good together when you aren’t trying to pick an argument for no reason. Or do something stupid like that stunt you just pulled!”

  “So, why didn’t you fall for my charming good looks? My brother and I almost look alike. I just happen to be more handsome than he is!”

  Sarai laughed. “You and I would never work, Zachary. From the beginning you’ve been like a big brother to me. I’m indebted to you for everything you’ve ever done to help me and my father. You single-handedly kept me from a life of servitude. I have a college degree because of your support and generosity. Because of you I can support my father in his old age. There is absolutely nothing that I wouldn’t do for you but I will not allow you to think that we would be good together because you know it wouldn’t work. We’d kill each other after the first week. Then we’d break each other’s hearts and it would ruin our friendship.”

  She took a deep breath before she continued. “I’ve worked very hard to make you proud of me, Zachary. I would never want to do anything to disappoint you. But I can’t pretend that I don’t care about your brother when I do. I love you but how I love you isn’t like how I’m growing to love Alexander.”

  “Isn’t it a little early for you to be professing your feelings like that? You don’t know him well enough to be in love with him.”

  Sarai rolled her eyes. “I didn’t say I was in love with him. I said that I had love for him but that it’s very different from the love I have for you. You’re the one twisting my words.”

  Zachary turned his head to stare at her. His hands were clasped together, and he wrung them awkwardly. “You’re right,” he finally answered. “And I know you’re right but I can wish, can’t I?”

  “You can’t wish that and definitely not about me and you together.” She skewed her face, her nose twisted as if something smelled bad. “That’s just so wrong.”

  “Like you didn’t get excited that time you saw me naked.”

  She laughed. “Trust me, I didn’t. It was actually embarrassing. Especially for you.” She eyed him with a raised brow, her gaze teasing.

  “I was cold,” he said, color warmin
g his cheeks. “You had the heat turned off and I’d just gotten out of the shower!”

  “You don’t need to explain it to me,” Sarai said with a warm laugh.

  He eyed her as if he were unconvinced, their gazes locking for a quick minute. He finally nodded as he jumped onto his feet.

  “The food service sent enough dinner for both of us. I can have it heated in ten minutes and we can eat and watch a movie together. Unless you have other plans?”

  She shook her head. “No, I think I’m in for the night.”

  “Good, because I miss just hanging out with you.” He held up both hands as if surrendering. “And I promise no more wild fantasies about the two of us. We’re just friends. I guess I was just missing my BFF.”

  “Don’t say BFF. It just sounds all kinds of wrong!”

  He laughed. “Okay, I was just missing my homie!”

  “That’s not better.” She shook her head.

  “You pick the movie. Something with some killing in it!” he said as he headed out of the room. “Or maybe some zombies.” As he moved out of sight, he was still chattering easily.

  With the conversation leading them, Sarai followed on his heels, relief flooding her spirit. It would be an hour or so later when she’d remember that she hadn’t returned Alexander’s last call.

  * * *

  Alexander looked at his cell phone for the umpteenth time. Sarai hadn’t acknowledged his message, not bothering to return his call. He’d thought about calling her again but had talked himself out of it. He didn’t want to seem pushy, figuring that if it was important to her, she’d make an effort to call him.

  He shifted a fresh ice pack against his lower lip. The bruises to his face were just enough to make his blood boil every time he looked at his reflection in the mirror. He hadn’t intended to get into the ring with Zachary. He knew that sparring with his brother was best left to amateurs interested in chasing after his sibling’s title. His brother was the best in the industry, and it took a fool to think they could outmaneuver, outbox, or outfight him. The more intelligent fools demanded a percentage of the net purse and their names on the fight roster. The others were willing to step into the ring for free. Alexander wasn’t either kind of a fool.

  But Zachary had wheedled and nagged, then dared him. His taunts had been reminiscent of when they’d been in their teens, determined to best the other at everything they attempted. The challenge had come with much instigating from Dan, their father, and everyone else standing around the gym watching. Not wanting to seem weak, or scared, he’d wrapped his hands, donned a pair of leather gloves, and stepped into the cage. He’d been that kind of a fool.

  He’d actually impressed himself with how well he’d been able to hold his own against Zachary’s skills. He’d successfully blocked and had thrown some serious punches. Even his twin had been surprised. But Zachary’s legs were steel-infused appendages, his kicks connecting like a concrete hammer. Zachary had nailed him good when the top of his foot had connected with Alexander’s face, kicking the protective head gear clear to the other side of the cage. The follow-up kick had nailed him in the ribs, knocking the breath from his lungs and his legs from under him. But he’d come back swinging, getting in a few good licks that had backed his brother up and given him pause.

  Ice was now the only thing keeping the swelling at bay. Without it, he would probably look more like Quasimodo, everything hurting so badly that standing hunched over was the only thing keeping the pain to a minimum. And now, to add insult to injury, his girl was home with his brother, not answering his calls. Alexander would have rolled his eyes if they didn’t hurt too.

  His doorbell ringing surprised him. He stole a quick glance at the time. It was after ten o’clock, and he couldn’t begin to imagine who was stopping by for a visit at such a late hour. Moving onto his feet, he eased his way from the family room to the front foyer. As he stared out the oversized bay windows, a wide smile pulled across his heart. The energy in his step increased tenfold as he threw the door open, Sarai standing on the other side.

  Chapter Nine

  “You didn’t call me,” Alexander mumbled, his bruised lip making it difficult to speak.

  She giggled, the soft lull teasing to his ears. “You mad? Do you want me to leave?” she said, motioning as if she intended to turn around.

  He grabbed her arm to stop her, his head waving from side to side. “Of course I don’t want you to leave. Come inside,” he said as he pulled her through the entrance.

  “Good, because from the looks of things you look like you could use some help.” She held up a red canvas shopping bag, shaking it about.

  “You still didn’t call me back,” he mumbled as he closed the oversized door, securing it behind them.

  Sarai nodded. “I apologize. It’s why I came over. I got distracted and the time got away from me. And since I wanted to check on you I figured coming over to lay eyes on you was the best way.” She eased her fingers against the side of his face. “That really looks like it hurts!”

  “He nailed me good! I hate to see what he’d do to some stranger he’s never known.”

  “Your brother is the best for a reason. I’ve seen him demolish men who were bigger and thought they were better. The fact that you went up against him is impressive.”

  They had moved back into his family room, setting themselves comfortably on the chenille sofa. Alexander leaned his body against hers, allowing his arm and shoulder to brush against her arm and shoulder.

  “When we were boys we were obsessed with wrestling. We’d watch WWE on television for hours! Then we’d move all the furniture in the living room and try the moves on each other. We both hated to lose and we became obsessive about competing with each other.”

  She shook her head. The look she gave him was chastising.

  “I know. I know. It’s well past time we grew out of that.”

  “Acknowledging that you have a problem is the first step.”

  He nodded as he laughed, amused by her tone. “So what was so distracting that you didn’t call me back?”

  She chuckled. “Your brother and I had a moment.” She paused for a quick second, then continued. “After we made up we ate dinner and watched a movie. Then my father called and after I talked with him, I came to see you.”

  Alexander cut an eye at her. “Is my brother going to be a problem? I mean . . . is there something else between you two that I should know about?”

  For a brief moment Sarai had thought about spilling the details of all that had happened between her and his twin, but she changed her mind. What she and Zachary needed to get past didn’t need to brew stagnant between the two brothers. It was done and finished and best left unsaid.

  Her smile was the sweetest as she met his gaze. “He’s working through some things but it’s all good,” she said as she leaned to kiss his cheek.

  Alexander winced, a hint of hurt twisting the nerves in his face and coursing from his head down through the rest of his body. He blew a slow hiss of air through clenched teeth.

  Sarai laughed. “I need to fix you,” she said. She moved onto her feet, reaching for that red bag. “Give me ten minutes, then come up to your bathroom.”

  “What are you . . . ?”

  “Just do it,” she said sternly, stalling his question.

  Fifteen minutes later Alexander lay in a tub of hot water that smelled of lavender, rosemary, and juniper. He was still dressed in his briefs, submerged up to his shoulders, the whirlpool jets on high. He was lost in a moment of quiet bliss, his muscles finally beginning to feel new again, when Sarai stepped back into the bathroom. She carried an oversized glass of tea-colored drink over cubes of ice.

  “You need to drink this,” she said. “It will make you feel better.”

  He reclosed his eyes as she rested the glass on the tub’s edge. “Soaking in this bath is working miracles. What did you put in the water? Some kind of Thai home remedy?”

  She laughed. “Epsom salt and some essen
tial oils.”

  Alexander opened one eye and looked at her. “Seriously?”

  Sarai nodded. “Tried and true, a cup or two of Epsom salt dissolved in a warm tub of water works wonders for aching muscles. You need to make sure you don’t have any other health conditions, such as heart problems, high blood pressure, or diabetes, though. Then it’s not so good.”

  “And that’s because . . . ?”

  “Epsom salts are made up of magnesium sulfate. Magnesium is a natural muscle relaxant and as a salt it helps to pull excess fluids out of the tissues to reduce swelling. That salt isn’t good if you have any other health issues. But you knew that.”

  “Just testing you,” he said teasingly. He took a sip of the beverage. “This isn’t bad. It’s not good but it’s not bad. What is it?”

  “It’s a blend of apple cider vinegar, water, molasses, honey, and ginger. It will help with healing from the inside out. And as soon as the water cools I’m going to give you a massage. Tomorrow you’ll be back to your old self.”

  Alexander sat forward ever so slightly. “A massage?” There was a flash of something wicked in his blue eyes.

  Sarai laughed. “Not that kind of massage!” She grinned brightly. She crossed to the counter, pulling a plush white towel into her hands. Moving back to his side, she rested it beside him. “When you’re ready I’ll be in the other room.”

  “You’re not going to stay here with me?”

  “I have to get some things ready,” she said, her smile teasing. “You’ll be okay.”

  Alexander tossed her a look that made her laugh. “I promise,” she said, “I’m not going anywhere until I know you’re feeling better.”

  As she stepped out of the room, she paused for a brief moment, turning to eye him with a narrowed gaze. The look was soft and seductive and caused an erection to suddenly swell full and large. He palmed the wealth of flesh with a heavy hand, a shiver of energy coursing up his spine and deep into the pit of his stomach. He inhaled, taking deep breaths of air to try to stall the rising sensation.