Fateful Italian Passion

by Olga GOA

  Unable to hold the psychological tension, Veronica sat on the floor of hallway and began crying. Her inner world was about to crack, and all her attempts to influence on Milano’s world view led to nothing. She knew she couldn’t calmly watch her man go to other women.

  Veronica had to choose―either to leave him or to accept Milano the way he is. Her pride of an intelligent and strong woman spoke in her. Veronica could never have thrown herself at Milano’s feet, even if she thought about it before. She would rather be hungry and roam around Rome than lick the feet of her well-beloved Milano.

  The mainstream of her thoughts immediately changed as Veronica decided what would be the correct choice. Will I accept Milano if he returns and flings himself in my arms? She thought. No. I will smell another woman on him and will hate him for that. And I won’t lower myself to him the way he wants. I will live far from Milano until my child is born. He will be able to see the baby, but only when I will allow him. I won’t demean myself before the bloody Casanova anymore!

  Hearing the shutting of the front door, Lucenzo immediately realized that something had happened. He didn’t waste his time and got up from the table, finishing his supper. A moment later Lucenzo was in the hall. He shook his head in response to what he had seen―Veronica was sitting on the floor, her eyes rained tears.

  It was again because of Milano. How can I rein him in? Lucenzo was silently grumpy, knowing that his eldest brother was the cause of this nice girl’s tears.

  “Veronica,” Lucenzo said, sitting down beside her and moving closer to her. “Where has our unlucky fellow gone? Have you quarreled with him anew?”

  “I cannot do this anymore! I just can’t! Milano takes my heart, and with the rods of cruel indifference makes a steak of it. I have had enough... I’m leaving.” Veronica poured her heart out to Lucenzo, having the hiccups from tears every few sentences. She also wondered how quickly she can get out of this house.

  “Where will you go, Veronica? To relatives or friends? Do you have them here?” Lucenzo was talking her down, moving her closer to his shoulder to make Veronica change her mind.

  “I’ll go to Aunt Carmela, the second cousin of my aunt, Henrietta.” Veronica shared her plans with Lucenzo while he was attentively listening to her. “I know she will shelter me; I have already talked about it with her. I’m just afraid of one thing―Milano can find me and bring me back, as it was the case the last time. He found out where Signora Vetrova lives thanking to my note of her address, so it will be no trouble for him to come to her place again. Therefore, I won’t stay with her. I’ll just borrow some money from her and find a hotel. I will live there until I find a job that will enable me to raise some money and go back to Russia.”

  “Are you sure of what you are saying?” Lucenzo’s heart turned into ice. Veronica’s naivety struck him that he realized―he must try at all costs to convince her to remain here. So, he continued their dialogue, “Honey, this is not your country. Here, everything is different. To get a job, you need to become a citizen, and receive the recommendations from your previous place of work.”

  “I know all of this, Lucenzo, but let me go. I will get on my knees if you want. But don’t force me to live with him. Don’t force me...” Veronica was beginning to cry, not understanding anything in this complicated life. Her emotional feelings played a low-down trick on her. In a moment, she became too weak to fight even with Lucenzo.

  “Milano is the Demon, but he loves you. You have to believe him.” Lucenzo understood that he had no right to use such words for blackmailing Veronica, but he couldn’t change her decision any other way. He had to act exactly like this.

  “He loves nobody, Lucenzo! But only himself!” Veronica didn’t want to listen to Milano’s brother. It seemed to her that Lucenzo supported Milano because he was his blood brother. To her, Lucenzo would side with Milano and would show some indulgence to him. With this, Veronica said what was on her mind. “I bet, Lucenzo, Milano has gone to another woman or prostitute. I refused him, and now he’s decided to have revenge against me.”

  Having heard Veronica’s words, Lucenzo understood that she was right. Hell right! Milano was still a womanizer.

  “If it is so, then I need to wash Milano’s brain. Definitely.” Lucenzo pshawed.

  “No, Lucenzo; I will surely pack my things and leave. I am fed up with it. Will you help me? I’m afraid to lift heavy things... My baby...” Sobbing, Veronica rose to her feet, wanting nothing more for herself. She sighed heavily, considering the reality of things—Milano will never grow up, and she will always have to be dependent on other people.

  “Dear Nike, you don’t have to decide about it in a hurry. Besides, you are expecting a baby and should have a lot of rest. I don’t want anything to happen to your child!” Lucenzo faulted her for her free-thinking, but couldn’t instruct her harshly. He could only support her.

  “Just help me, Lu. There is nothing else I need from you. If you don’t want to, I will carry it by myself. I have got used to it...” Speaking with Milano’s brother, Veronica was losing her heart, but she still behaved like a proud Amazon. And that really surprised Lucenzo. He had never seen that much vital force in a woman; the one his eldest brother fell in love with and didn’t appreciate truthfully.

  Lucenzo had no doubts that Milano loved Veronica; Milano just needed some time to realize it. Or perhaps, Milano didn’t want to accept that fact; it was two completely different things.

  Lucenzo thought that he should bring together Veronica and Milano again. It didn’t matter to him how much time and nerves it would take. He would become their connecting link, just as their unborn child.

  And Lucenzo began to play for time. “Don’t be ridiculous, Veronica. I don’t want to lose my nephew or niece. OK?”

  “Then I’ll call a taxi...” Veronica agreed to shake Lucenzo’s hand and to leave him with a sad smile. After a little while, she stood in Milano’s room where she had spent one of the most beautiful and at the same time unhappy days of her life. She thought how best to behave.

  She was tired of shedding tears. And perhaps she was tired of fighting for her love. Veronica didn’t know it for sure. She was drained of her strength.

  A few minutes later, Lucenzo already stood near the door. He begged Veronica not to go away, even though she stood firm in her decision. But Veronica had already made up her mind. She didn’t even think to diverge from the chosen path.

  In farewell, she hugged Lucenzo tight and wished him all the best and happiness with Francesca. If it is fate, they will see each other again.

  Veronica was about to open the door, but she couldn’t reach the handle—it was Milano Veneziani who grabbed it unexpectedly. Having entered the mansion, he saw as Lucenzo froze to Veronica’s bag, his eyes begging the girl not to leave.

  Milano’s thoughts started racing feverishly in his head. My Amazon is leaving me?! He was guessing, outwardly not showing his inner agitation.

  “What is it? Are you leaving me again?” Milano was surprised, getting closer to Veronica and keeping her where she was standing. In fact, he expected her to rush away from him or beat him. Milano knew what she was capable of doing, so he was ready for whatever would come from her.

  Veronica was looking at Milano as if he was a ghost. She thought by mistake that her man was in a bed with an Italian girl, and Veronica out of his head. It turned out to be exactly the opposite!

  “It’s me who should ask you why you came back. You should be enjoying yourself with your mistress right now!” Veronica almost shouted at him, while Milano kept smiling, looking at his bellicose Amazon.

  How much he loved it when Veronica was jealous!

  “I went outside to refresh myself. What silly things came into your small head?” Milano smirked, starting to stroke Veronica’s shoulders to make her finally relaxed.

  “But you went away, slamming the door and saying nothing.” Veronica was roaring like a fierce lioness that couldn’t understand why the lion had left her
alone in the wild savanna. Other jackals could attack her and wouldn’t take pity on her and her child.

  Looking at the heated discussion between his brother and Veronica, Lucenzo exhaled quietly. He was glad that his brother and Veronica would soon achieve reconciliation. Why? Milano has no equal in comforting women. Lucenzo knew it.

  “I am leaving,” Lucenzo reported, keeping himself from laughing and heading off to the kitchen. “I am going to drink my coffee.”

  When Lucenzo sat at the table reading a magazine about house repair, Milano turned his attention to his Amazon, regaining a strange smile on his face.

  “What a dreamer you are, Veronica! I didn’t tell you that I would go fucking.”

  “But you had it on your mind.”

  “No, I didn’t.” Milano sneered, being surprised at how rich of an imagination she had.

  But in spite of his high spirits, Veronica did not want to be hooked by Milano’s bait. She thought what to say to her Demon to have him go into the kitchen and not delay her anymore.

  “Go and have your meal. The food already cooled down while you were walking around.” Veronica was acrimonious, not wishing to remain in the company of her Demon. She intended to go to her room and cry alone.

  “I won’t go without you. You don’t eat a bloody thing! And it is important for our baby.” Milano cursed her up hill and down dale. He didn’t push her, but there was no way out. Veronica was very stubborn.

  “You always point things out, damn eye-gazer!” Veronica began calling Milano rudely as she no longer felt like being tender. She was planning on running away from him and at the same time staying with her Demon. It was like madness, and there was no end to it. It seemed as if it was the diagnosis made by psychologists. Milano was sick with bipolar affective disorder and it appears that Veronica didn’t guess about it; otherwise, she would fear him even more.

  “Vorrei fare il bagno con te, cara mia!” Milano blurted out all of a sudden when he shot out a peal of laughter.

  Veronica was amazed to watch his cheerful mood. “Speak English. I do not understand Italian very well.” She said to him with annoyance as her nerves were frayed.

  “I would like to take a bath with you, my dear. Let’s go.” Milano explained, trying to take his proud Amazon by her elbow, but she pushed him off harder. Veronica didn’t want to have a bath with him, telling him that she would take a bath alone.

  Milano snorted, getting closer to the angry Veronica and showing his affection. He curled a lock of her long hair with his forefinger and was gently stroking Veronica’s shoulder. He hoped that this time she would thaw, but Veronica was too upset to notice his tenderness.

  “Eat something, cara. I am afraid that you are starving...” he said, noting that his Amazon entirely lost her appetite. She didn’t put on weight during pregnancy, but only lost it. He knew this could adversely affect her state, if not make a devastating effect on their unborn child.

  But Milano was afraid to believe that he was the only reason of all this. He didn’t admit his own mistakes.

  “Get off my back!” Veronica just told him, while he was waiting for her answer and patiently. More than ever, she strove for complete independence from Milano Veneziani, she got really tired of fighting with his demons. She needed to recover her peace of mind and forget about his spiritual torments.

  As Veronica silently turned toward the stairs, she decided to finish the conversation with Milano. She started to ascend very carefully.

  “Nike, a bathroom is on the second floor, on the left. Although I think you’ll find it by yourself.” Milano added with a smile, but Veronica didn’t answer him. He knitted his brows, returning to the kitchen and getting a little bit upset. He didn’t like that Veronica was very cold to him.

  What made her change so much? Milano was distressed about it.

  “So? Have you sorted out your complicated relationship?” Milano had just sat down at the table as Lucenzo asked, finishing his cup of black coffee in a white porcelain dish. “I don’t understand you. Are you deliberately goofing on Veronica?” Lucenzo condemned his eldest brother with a note of disapproval in his voice.

  “She didn’t want sex. So what was I supposed to do?” Pouring hot coffee in his mug, Milano answered his younger brother bitterly.

  “You’re not an animal to want sex all the time. But Nike is a girl. Respect her feelings!” Lucenzo criticized his eldest brother for his never-ending vices.

  “We are back to square one again! How long are you going to criticize me? Aren’t you tired of it?!” Milano was beginning to be annoyed of Lucenzo’s lectures but didn’t have the courage to tell him that. He couldn’t alienate his brother because Lucenzo was the only person who knew the full truth about his past.

  Milano didn’t plan to tell the whole story to Veronica yet. She would have blamed him for that, and he wouldn’t have survived it. Milano knew it. He knew it pretty well.

  “Finish your omelette; it had become cold,” Lucenzo interrupted Milano’s self-chastising with his speech, drawing the plate toward his brother. He suspected that Milano also starved like Veronica.

  Veronica and Milano were very upset with each other over their quarrel, and Milano just swallowed some food, finishing his repast.

  “You should rather bring vegetables and eggs to Veronica. Pregnant women shouldn’t go hungry, Milano. And you know that, damn it!” Lucenzo told his idle brother harshly.

  However, Milano wasn’t even listening to him, his thoughts were somewhere far away from there. Maybe Milano felt ill at ease because of everything that happened between him and Veronica. But only sincere Veronica could change Milano―his way of thinking, his emotions, and his affection. And to some extent—influence his inner world, which needed her care and patience.

  “I’m not stupid that I do not understand that, Lucenzo. But Veronica is so stubborn; you’ve seen it yourself. I find it difficult to get along with her,” Milano replied to his brother, defending his own life from any external emotional interference. After all, Veronica was guided by her heart, and Milano just followed his rational mind. Partially rational, of course.

  “So, at the table of Lascatti you blatantly lied that you found a common language with Veronica.” Lucenzo was displeased with his brother. The brother who was always saying what people wanted to hear from him, not what he really felt.

  Where could these lies lead Milano? And could he escape from the trap? It is unlikely, considering the shaky state of his mind which required professional medical assistance.

  Lucenzo was ready to help Milano completely and selflessly―in everything that a brother could help with.

  “At that time, I got along with Veronica. But now... I don’t know. Do you want to say that my quarrel with her was my fault, not hers?” Milano was indignant at Lucenzo’s arguments, being sure that he was always right in everything. He didn’t recognize others’ views.

  Lucenzo gasped at such a conclusion of his brother. Was Milano blind to everything concerning relationships? Didn’t he see that he was so wrong? Maybe it just seemed to Lucenzo that Milano understood everything. After all, he couldn’t dig into Milano’s soul and sense what he felt. Lucenzo could only rely on his guesses.

  “It’s only your fault, Milano. Only yours,” Lucenzo replied, trying not to put a lot of pressure on his brother. He was afraid that Milano’s impulsion would reach a critical level again. “Veronica wanted to leave you thinking that you decided to get back at her by sleeping with another woman. Anyway, she refused you, and I know that no woman did that to you before. Are you bothered by this?” He questioned Milano curiously.

  “Maybe...” Milano barked, moving his glance to the window. The sun almost set over the horizon and a silver moon appeared in the sky. Milano felt as lonely as that moon hanging on the heavenly tent. In his opinion, nobody understood and would ever understand him. He had his dark Empire, and entrance to it was strictly forbidden. It was barred even to his relatives and people close to him.

>   “Listen to me, Milano. Veronica is very sensitive now because she is bearing your child. Be patient with her,” Lucenzo advised his brother with kindness.

  “And what should I say to her? She’s so moody now!” Milano sensed that Lucenzo was right, but he didn’t know what to do. There was no place for strong feelings in his world because Milano thought that he was long dead to them. But it turned out that he wasn’t.

  “Say that you love her. She will forgive you... Women forgive men easily, I know that for sure.” Lucenzo smiled, remembering how quickly Francesca forgot their quarrel. He loved and adored his Italian girl even more for that.

  “I don’t love Veronica. I don’t. How many times should I repeat that, Lucenzo?!” Milano snarled, jumping up from his seat. Persistence of Lucenzo in his moral beliefs often annoyed him. It irritated him even more than Veronica’s stubbornness.

  “All right, go, stubborn ram!” Lucenzo finally gave up, not endeavoring to argue with his brother. He had to choose another tactic to battle with Milano’s demons. “I’m going to Fra; I should help her with the house repair. She paints the walls all alone; she needs a male hand.”

  “Sure, go ahead.” Milano replied blankly, leaving the kitchen.

  Lucenzo looked sadly at the back of his eldest brother. He wished to take over at least some part of Milano’s emotional pain, but apparently, it wasn’t in his power. Maybe it would require more efforts to uncover the soul of his brother.

  ***

  Having said goodbye to Milano, Lucenzo soon left on his way to Francesca. He promised her that he would come home only the next day because he would be busy night and day. Francesca worked round-the-clock, and he hated to sit at home and wait till she finished painting. He had to help her instead of lazing away.

  After having taken a little rest on the sofa and read interesting news about Roman cultural life, Milano decided to go upstairs. He worried about his Veronica.