by S. J. Sylvis
His jaw clenched. “And?”
“And I…” Tears formed, but I blinked them away. Ollie could tell; his eyes bounced back and forth between mine as his mouth fell into a frown. “I saw him come pretty damn close to snorting something.” I swallowed a lump, trying to look away, but Ollie held my chin straight and shook his head.
“Don’t do that. Eyes on me.” My chin wobbled under his grasp. “I yelled at him right before he went to snort whatever it was. I was so angry. And then hurt.” I sniffed, feeling the burn from holding back my tears. “I told him once we paid the money and I got you out of this mess, I was done with him. For good. Unless he got help.”
My chin continued to wobble, and I tried my hardest to hide it. Watching my brother drop his head down to the sink made me sick. I flinched at the visual.
“I hate that you’re hurt right now,” Ollie whispered, his hand leaving my waist and cupping the side of my head. He brought my forehead to his chest, and that was when I felt the moisture coating my cheeks. Ollie’s fingers wove throughout my hair as a sob erupted from deep within my chest. Oh my God, I’m breaking right in front of him.
“Shh.” I tried to focus on Ollie’s beating heart to calm my own, but it was no use. I let the gate open; I let myself fall apart, and there was no going back.
Ollie rubbed circles on my back as he pulled me over to my bed. He lay down, never letting go of me, and I instantly curled into his side. “I’m sorry,” I managed to choke out while squeezing my arms around his torso. His hand stilled on my back as I continued. “I’m sorry you’re involved in this mess. I’m sorry you have to see me like this. And I’m sorry I threatened to tell Christian your secret.”
“Stop it.”
I shook my head. “I promise I’ll make this right. I’ll get you out of this mess with racing.”
“Piper, fucking quit it. I’m a big boy. I can take care of myself.” I sniffled. “And I’ll take care of you, too.” I stilled in his arms as my silent tears continued to fall onto his shirt. I wanted to argue with him and tell him that he didn’t need to take care of me, that I was fine on my own, but I couldn’t find it in me to say the words, because deep down, I wanted him to take care of me.
I could survive on my own, but I didn’t want to.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Ollie
The sound of plastic bags and Styrofoam containers being bent open did nothing to take my mind off last night.
It hadn’t been a usual Saturday night in the slightest. I could still smell Piper’s sweet scent on my shirt. Her warm body was curled next to mine all night with her pretty hair framing her peaceful face. Piper was cute. I loved the shape of her small nose and the freckles that lined the top of it. The way her pink lips parted as slumber took over and the small moan that escaped her mouth when she curled into me at three in the morning.
“Why are you smiling like that and not touching your food?”
Something hit me in the head, and I threw Christian a glare. “Did you just throw a fucking French fry at me?”
My dad cleared his throat. “Don’t curse in front of a lady.”
I gave my dad a glare, too, and heard Hayley giggle. “You like Hayley better than you like us,” I joked, giving her a grin. She blushed and shook her head. She was always a little shy in front of my dad, and I had no idea why. Christian thought it was cute. I wondered if Piper would be the same way.
“What are you thinking about over there, Ollie?” Hayley raised an eyebrow as she stuffed a French fry into her mouth.
“I bet I know.” Christian grinned.
“Do you have a girlfriend?” my dad asked, truly interested.
“No,” I quickly answered.
“Pretty much,” Christian mumbled, and I shot him another glare. Shut the fuck up.
Hayley smashed her lips together as my dad drummed his fingers on the table, eyeing me with curiosity. “Are you taking this mystery girl who isn’t your girlfriend to the winter formal?
“How do you know about the winter formal?” Christian asked, mid-bite of his hamburger.
My dad pulled back before he coughed uncomfortably. It was a little surreal sitting there talking to him about normal, mundane, high school things. Usually, whenever my dad and Christian were around one another, it was like an airing of WWE but without the actual wrestling. I was usually the one stuck in the middle, trying to keep the peace, but things were calm now. Better. Which was exactly why I was keeping my mouth shut about the birth certificate—for now, at least. No need to disrupt the calm waters with my massive fucking tsunami at lunch.
“I read about it in my parent newsletter.”
I choked on a pickle. “Your what?”
“My newsletter. I signed up for the English Prep parent newsletter a little while back.”
My brother’s mouth opened a little as he stared at my dad in disbelief. Hayley, always wanting things to stay calm, smiled. “I think that’s great. I didn’t even know they had a parent newsletter. But”—she glanced at me with a twinkle in her eye—“are you taking Piper?”
Shit. I’d forgotten all about the winter formal, and I knew no one had asked Piper to go because I had banned every guy in the school from doing so. It wasn’t long ago that I stood in the locker room after our last football game and told them all I’d fuck their mom if they continued to talk about the “hot redhead” that was hanging around Hayley.
I wouldn’t actually fuck any of their moms, but I was known to be a little on the crazy side. I’d followed through on enough dares and threats to back up my street cred.
“When is it again?” I asked.
Hayley’s eyes lit up. “Satur…day.” Her voice dropped at the end, and I no longer felt hungry. Shit. Saturday. The races.
A hush fell over the table as soon as the word left her mouth. I wouldn’t be able to take Piper, and I instantly felt like shit, knowing she wouldn’t have a date because I had banned everyone from asking her. I was such a jealous fuck.
“What just happened?” My dad bent his head down, his cool, gray eyes moving between the three of us.
Hayley quickly intervened. “Oh, Ollie is probably feeling a little bad for not asking Piper when it’s less than a week away.” She turned to me. “Don’t worry. Piper and I will go get dresses this week. Just make sure you ask her so she knows she actually has a date.”
I nodded and mouthed the words, “Thank you,” as soon as my dad looked away.
I went ahead and added winter formal to my list of things we needed to convene about at Eric’s cabin later.
Shortly after the awkward conversation about the formal, Hayley and Christian began cleaning up before we all headed to Eric’s. Christian was dropping Hayley off at Piper’s so they could drive together to Eric’s. Piper and Hayley needed to talk, apparently, so they were catching up on the drive over.
As soon as they left and I gathered my keys, my dad came and stood in the archway, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his dress shirt. His forearms were flexing back and forth from below his rolled-up cuffs as if he were nervous and trying to gain the confidence to ask me something.
That immediately set off alarm bells in my head. My father and I got along for the most part. We didn’t butt heads like he and my brother, and I was certain it was because we were nothing alike. Christian was an exact replica of my father—thus why they constantly argued. But my father and me? We didn’t even share the same physical features, and now I knew why.
“Need somethin’?” I asked, glancing at him from my phone. There wasn’t a damn thing on my phone at the moment, but I needed something to hold my attention before I lost a hold on my sanity and blurted out something that gave him an indication that I knew.
My father reached up and rubbed his five o’clock shadow, the scruff echoing within the tall ceilings of our entryway. “Is everything okay with you?”
Don’t panic. Don’t look away.
I kept my eyes steady on his. “Yeah, why?”
He tilted his head, squinting his one eye. “You seem distant. Far away. You’re not your happy, loud, annoying-the-hell-out-of-your-brother self.”
The need to shift on my feet was hard to ignore. But I kept them planted to the floor. “I’m good.”
“Are you upset your brother is going off to college next year without you? And most of your friends? Is that why you were asking about you two being so close in age yesterday?”
No. I quickly averted my eyes and knew that was an instant mistake. The secret was planted inside my head like a seed the second I’d found the birth certificate. Tiny sprouts formed the more I thought about all the differences my dad and I had, and when it clicked, the roots continued to grow and spread until it was the only thing I could think about. It consumed me. The desire to hear it from him. The confirmation I needed. The questions I wanted answered. Standing here, looking at my father with his quizzical eye, was too much.
But then my phone vibrated.
Unknown: We need to talk
I glanced at my father again and then back down to my phone.
Me: Who is this?
Unknown: Who tf you think? Meet me here and we can discuss what we need to do this weekend.
I recognized the pin that was sent. It was Tank’s trailer, the one I was at the night before, rescuing Piper. It felt like I had been hit in the back with a baseball bat. My back went rigid for a moment before I shook my arms out and slipped my phone in my pocket. I grabbed my black hat off the banister of the stairs and placed it backwards on my head.
“Everything is just dandy, Dad. I gotta go.” Before stepping out the door, I glanced back at him, and his mouth was in a straight line. I knew I was raising more questions with being standoffish. I knew he was likely concerned, or maybe he was sweating a little, wondering if I’d found out his secret—I wasn’t sure—but I turned back and said, “Later,” before closing the door and walking to my car.
First stop: Tank’s.
Second stop: Eric’s.
Hopefully, the first didn’t interfere with the second. Walking into Tank’s trailer alone was probably a step in the wrong direction, but what choice did I have?
Chapter Twenty-Three
Piper
My lip stung from biting it so many times. The pastries I’d had for brunch with my parents tasted great in the moment, but now they were threatening to come back up as Hayley and I drove to Eric’s cabin.
I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know where to start. Did I start at the beginning? Did I just come out and tell her I was sorry? Because I was. I didn’t like hiding things from her, and when I sat down and thought about it, it wasn’t fair in the least. I knew all about Hayley’s past. I’d been with her through some scary stuff. We’d been chased off the road together—that definitely formed a bond between two people, right?
As soon as I’d parked on the cobblestone lot in front of the cabin, I did everything I could to calm myself down. I took in the stone pillars and focused on the different sized rocks, counting each one until I felt I was ready to talk. I turned the music down, and Hayley smiled at me patiently. And I knew, right then, that I needed to tell her. So I spilled everything.
It probably only took ten minutes to fill her in on Jason and the drama within the walls of my house, but it felt like it took eons. I was drained, but strangely, I felt lighter.
Hayley pulled her dark hair into a high ponytail before unbuckling her seatbelt. “Is this why you were so open to my shit? My past?”
I shrugged, biting my sore lip again. I was back to staring at the stone pillars. “I guess. I…I don’t know why I didn’t tell you.” I quickly shook my head. “Wait, yes I do.” When Hayley and I met each other’s gazes, I felt a tug in my heart. I had felt sorry for her life, the stuff she had gone through, and I knew she hated that. She didn’t want pity, but I had felt it anyway. Hayley didn’t deserve the shit she went through. There was so much negativity already in her life, so why would I have poured even more onto her?
Hayley sat up a little taller, bringing her legs up to sit cross-legged. “So, why?”
“Well, the first reason is because you had way too much going on in your own life to take on my family drama. I mean, why would I let all of that out when you just got into a stable living environment?” The more I explained to Hayley, the lighter I felt. The bricks stacked on my shoulders fell off one by one. “I didn’t want to bombard you with it. And my parents have driven it into my head to never talk about what happens behind closed doors.” I wrung my hands together in my lap. “They even took me out of Wellington Prep and moved us to the other side of town, thrusting us into yet another rich society just so we could hide the mess in our family. They completely shut Jason out of our lives. There aren’t even family photos of him hanging up in the house anymore.”
Not only did I feel angry about that, I felt hurt, too. I knew Jason was making mistakes. I knew he was in way too deep, but if the thought of him being shunned from our family hurt me, I couldn’t even imagine how it felt for him. Or maybe he didn’t care at all. Did addicts have feelings? Or did everything and everyone they’d ever cared about slowly dissipate, and their worries morphed into where the next party was? Or when they’d be able to get high again?
Slowly, I brought my head over and rested it along the window. I had the urge to bang it off of it a few times to get the thoughts to stop. “I told Jason last night that I was done with him when Ollie and I finished cleaning up his mess.” I turned to look at Hayley who was fiddling with the locket around her neck. “I have to figure out how to get Ollie out of this mess. This is all my fault, Hayley.”
Hayley frowned as she reached over and put her small hand on my leg. She gave it a squeeze. “We will figure it out. Not you. You’re not in this alone, okay?”
Just then, Christian walked out of the cabin and leaned along one of the stone pillars. Hayley’s cheeks turned pink as she smiled through the windshield before turning back to me. “I love you; Christian loves you; Ollie loves you; and I’m pretty sure Eric does, too, even though he’s even grumpier than Christian now.” A light laugh fell between us. “And I know very well there is something more going on with you and Ollie.”
I desperately tried to catch the butterflies flying in my stomach. “Why do you say that?”
Hayley was fighting a smile, the apples of her cheeks twitching. “You’re going to be pissed when I tell you what he did.”
The butterflies stopped abruptly. “What did he do?”
“He may or may not have banned every guy from asking you to the winter formal.”
My mouth fell. “Wait. The winter formal?”
Hayley let out a loud laugh, plopping her legs back down. “Winter formal? Remember, this weekend? Aren’t you on the committee?”
Shit. This time, I really did hit my head off the window. “Damnit! I have shit to make for that. Decorations. And I don’t have a dress.” Oh my God. See! This was how I knew I was in way too deep with Jason’s shit! I was leading a double life. High school was still on the horizon. College acceptance letters would be coming soon. Those things hadn’t crossed my mind in a while.
I sighed. “I don’t even have a date!”
Hayley was quick to add, “Yeah! Because of Ollie.”
“Wait.” I flung myself up from resting along the glass. “He did what?” I’m going to kill him. “Ugh!” I opened my door and stepped outside onto the uneven pebbles.
Hayley was giggling as she followed me up the stairs. She was loving this. She secretly liked seeing Ollie get under my skin. I was pretty sure everyone did.
Christian pushed off the stone pillar and placed his arm over Hayley’s shoulder. “Everything okay? Are you ready for the gang to help?”
I was fuming underneath my skin. I couldn’t believe Ollie had banned everyone from asking me to the dance. Not only was I annoyed with Ollie for doing that, I was almost irritated that a twisted part of me liked knowing he didn’t want me going with any
one else. Why was it like this with us?
One minute, I wanted to punch him and push him away, and the next, I was basking in his touch and pulling him in close.
Hayley snickered under her breath as she filled Christian in. “I just told Piper that Ollie banned everyone from taking her to winter formal.”
Christian chuckled. “And he's too much of a pussy to ask you himself.”
Or maybe he just doesn’t want to go with me. I bit my tongue as I roughly started throwing my hair up in a ponytail. I didn’t have time to think about if Ollie liked me like that. Jason was stuck in a cockroach-infested trailer, Ollie was racing for Tank, we had over ten thousand dollars to pay back before Tank would let my brother go, I had to figure out a way to get Ollie out from Tank’s slimy grip, and I had seven million things to do for winter formal. Oh! And a stupid, five-page paper to write on the fucking Great Depression.
And don’t think I didn’t see the irony in writing about the Great Depression. My life was pretty fucking depressing at the moment.
My head slowly twisted toward the incoming car. Hmph.
When Ollie stepped out of his Charger with his black baseball hat on backwards, wearing an English Prep bulldog shirt—much like the one I had stolen from him—my stomach flipped. Every time I saw that glowing smile of his, it did something to me. He was good-looking. So good-looking that I always found my breath catching when he was near, but that didn’t stop me from rushing down the front steps to get to him, and it didn’t stop me from smacking him upside the head, either.
“Whoa, what the hell, Piper!” He caught his hat as it flung off his head.
“You are such a pig, Oliver Powell! What? You can’t stand to see another guy take me to the winter formal?”
He tried his hardest to wipe the grin off his face, but it stuck, staring at me, taunting me. But the only thing it did was piss me off further, because my knees wobbled a bit.