When We Were Human

by Kate L. Mary

  We turn down the driveway, which is narrow and overgrown with weeds after years of neglect. The yard is even worse, and we have to wade through masses of thistles and other useless plants to get to the front door. Once we do, though, we get lucky and find it unlocked.

  The door opens to a dusty living room, but seeing the couch makes me feel like we’ve found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I drag Walker across the room until we’re standing in front of it, then carefully help him sit. He sucks in a mouthful of air when his injured body hits the cushions. Dust puffs up all around him. It tickles my nose, causing a sneeze to creep up on me, but I wipe it aside and focus on my friend.

  “How bad is it?” I ask, kneeling in front of Walker.

  “It’s not good.”

  The usual lightness is missing from his voice, and for some reason that scares me more than all the other things we’ve encountered over the last few days. Worse than Donnie and his asshole friends, worse than the creepers and the thought that they might be coming back.

  “What can I do? Where are you hurt?” I ask, finding it impossible to keep the terror out of my voice.

  “I think they cracked a couple ribs.” He pauses and takes a deep breath. “Having trouble breathing. Hurts like hell.”

  I clench my hands into fists as a helpless feeling comes over me. There’s nothing I can do about a cracked rib, and the fact that he’s having trouble breathing scares the shit out of me. I’m not sure I’ve felt this powerless since the day the creepers dragged Lilly away.

  “How much longer do we have to walk?” Lilly asks.

  I can’t take my eyes off Walker. “Five days maybe.”

  “At least,” Walker says, wincing again.

  “How?”

  Lilly’s voice shakes, causing me to finally look at her. She’s wringing her hands and staring down at me like I’m her only hope for salvation. At the moment, I feel like I might be.

  I stand up and look around the room. “We can’t. At least not right now. We’re going to have to stay for a few days and let Walker heal, then head out. It’s the only way.”

  Walker doesn’t argue. He leans his head back and closes his eyes. Each intake of breath makes his entire body tense.

  Fear punches me in the gut, and the sudden urge to throw up hits me. I turn and run from the room, out the front door and to the side of the house, where I double over just in time. My stomach convulses, and everything I’ve eaten makes a reappearance.

  When I’m done I wipe my mouth and stand up, but I don’t go back inside. The sudden urge to cut is so strong that my hands start to shake. I haven’t done it since I promised Walker I would stop, and starting it again now would be a stupid idea. The need hasn’t gone away though.

  Almost on its own, my hand moves toward my knife, but I pull back. I clench my hands into fists and take a deep breath, then let it all out. I repeat the process a few times while I wait for the desire to go away. After a few seconds, the urge lessens.

  I need to get back inside, but before I do, I take a moment to give myself a silent pep talk. We are okay. Things could be worse. We made it out with our lives and found a place to hang out for a few days. Walker has a broken rib or two, but he could have been hurt so much worse. It’s going to slow us down, but it won’t stop us. Not after everything we’ve been through. We’re stronger than this.

  I am stronger than this.

  Acknowledging that takes me back to the person I was before I met Walker, but only the good parts. Not the part that was self-destructive or the part that didn’t feel human, but the part that knew I could face anything. The part of me that felt like I was a hundred feet tall when I faced a creeper. That is the me I want to cling to.

  When I open the front door, Lilly is standing there waiting for me. She takes a step toward me like she’s ready to jump into my arms but stops suddenly. Almost like she’s scared. Maybe she is. She’s seen a very feral part of me today.

  “It’s okay,” I say, shutting the door behind me and locking it. “We are okay. Just a couple days to rest and we’ll be on our way, then we can start a new life. There’s nothing to worry about.”

  My gaze holds Lilly’s, and she nods. The way she sets her chin almost makes me smile. I glance across the dark room. Ben sits in a dirty old chair, all curled up like he’s ready to go to sleep. On the couch, Walker is sprawled out. His eyes are closed and his breaths almost sound like snores, but I don’t think he’s asleep. If only I could find something for his pain.

  “We need sleep,” I say, almost to myself. Then I turn toward my sister. “Help me look for blankets and stuff.”

  Lilly and I split up, searching closets and bedrooms until we have a decent selection of relatively clean bedding. Walker is fully dressed, meaning he doesn’t need a blanket. I do gingerly help him sit up so he can put a pillow under his head, though. He’s going to have a hard enough time getting rest, might as well make him comfortable. Ben is already out, so I put a blanket next to him in case he needs it. After that, Lilly and I make a small bed on the floor next to the couch using all the pillows and the thickest blankets we could find. It’s just for her, since I’m planning to stay up and keep watch, but I make it big enough for two anyway. I don’t want her to argue with me.

  I lay down next to her until I’m sure she’s asleep—something that only takes a few minutes—then get up and move to the front widow. The trees and bushes and weeds are so overgrown that there isn’t much to look at, but I don’t want to be taken by surprise. Not again.

  “You going to sleep at all?” Walker says from behind me, his voice quiet and full of tension.

  I turn to find him struggling to sit up and rush to his side. “Careful.”

  “It hurts, but I’m a big boy.” He grunts until he’s in a sitting position, then lets out a deep breath. “You can rest. I’m awake.”

  “Right,” I say, rolling my eyes. “And if the creepers break down the door you can wrestle them to the ground.”

  “I can wake you up if there’s trouble. Besides, it isn’t like you’re in one piece either.” His voice is firm, and he sounds more like his old self, which makes me happy.

  “You’re going to be okay?” I say before I can even think it through. I hadn’t realized until right now how scared I was that Walker wasn’t going to make it.

  “We’re all going to be okay.”

  He lifts his right arm, and I scoot closer, allowing him to wrap it around me. I’m thankful our injuries are on the opposite sides so we can sit like this with minimal discomfort. I like being close to Walker more than I’ve ever liked anything in my entire life.

  “Guess I can’t cash in that rain check until this rib heals,” Walker whispers.

  It takes me a second to remember what he’s talking about, and when I do, I have the urge to punch him. Laughter shakes my body, but I try to control it when my shoulder starts to throb. Plus, I’m afraid I’m going to hurt Walker.

  “I never said you had a rain check!” I whisper, shaking my head.

  “Yes you did. You said we could have sex, just not right at that moment. It was an implied rain check.”

  “You’re full of it.” I snort and roll my eyes.

  Walker’s arm tightens around me. “Just keeping you honorable.”

  “Right.”

  We lapse into silence and I find myself starting to relax, worrying less about hurting Walker with my nearness. Forgetting danger as exhaustion rolls over me. Walker starts to hum, soft and slow. The song is so peaceful that even though I know I shouldn’t, I allow my eyes to close.

  The room isn’t as dark when I wake. I’m curled up on a tiny corner of the couch, and my neck is stiff. When I move my back pops. Walker’s feet are shoved under me, and shifting positions sends his foot up my butt crack. I bolt up so fast I almost fall over.

  “Hey.” Lilly’s voice is as startling as the feeling of having Walker’s foot up my ass.

  I spin to face her, squinting when a ray of sunlight t
hreatens to blind me. “What are you doing?”

  “Taking watch.” Lilly steps to the right, blocking the blinding sun. “I woke up a little bit ago to find you curled up with Walker. He was still awake, but he looked like shit.” I arch my eyebrows at my sister’s use of profanity, but she just shrugs. “I told him I’d take a turn.”

  “Thanks, Lilly.”

  “It’s no big deal.” She tucks her blonde hair behind her ears and frowns when her eyes dart toward Walker.

  “He’ll be okay,” I say, a little too firmly.

  “I know. I was just thinking about what we were going to do. We left everything we had back at that farm house.”

  “Maybe there’s something in the kitchen.”

  “I already looked. A couple cans with no labels that might be okay, that’s it.”

  “We’ll go out after Walker wakes up and find something in the woods. Together. No one needs to be out there alone right now. Not when the creepers have started moving in groups.”

  My sister nods slowly, and the more her head bobs, the more her eyes narrow on me. “What happened? How did you get out? There were so many of them, I was sure…” She shakes her head. “It just doesn’t make sense.”

  I dig my teeth into my bottom lip for a second while I think it over. At the time, I was too crazy with worry and anger and fear to think it through, but now that I’ve had some distance, I can see it all more clearly. Lilly’s right, there were a lot of them, but I’m starting to think that worked in our favor.

  “I don’t know for sure,” I say slowly, “but I think it was the pain.”

  “The pain?” she says doubtfully.

  “We’ve always known they communicate silently, but I’m starting to think it’s more than that. I think they’re linked. That they can feel what the others are feeling. I was stabbing that creeper under me, and he was in so much pain that the others were overwhelmed by it. I think that’s what stopped them.”

  Lilly’s eyes get huge. “That makes sense. Maybe it’s even how we beat them.”

  She has a point. Maybe someone figured out their weakness. Maybe that’s how we drove them off.

  “This could help us,” I mutter, trying to work it out.

  We have to get back and tell Jed what we know. If the creepers are organizing, there’s no telling how long it will be before they try to take out small settlements like Hope.

  We spend the next two days resting and searching the woods for food when we’re hungry while Walker rests. He’s still in pain, but taking it easy seems to be helping. He won’t be healed by the time we’re ready to leave, but maybe two days will have lessened the pain and help make travel easier. We can only hope.

  When I sleep, I do it next to Walker. Curled up with my good shoulder pressed against his good side. His arm around me protectively. In those moments, all I can think about is getting back to Hope and starting our life in the little house Tara picked out for us. By now her ankle will be better, and there’s no doubt in my mind that she’ll have the whole thing clean and ready for us to move in. That’s all I want, and I know Walker and Lilly feel the same way. Even Ben seems to look toward the future with a little more emotion than he did before.

  We leave our little house early on morning three. Thanks to a couple ripped-up sheets, Walker’s ribs are bound, but walking still seems to hurt him. I managed to find a big branch in the woods that I stripped the bark off of so he could use it as a cane. Hopefully it helps.

  We walk, Ben, Lilly, Walker, and me. For what feels like years we follow empty roads through a deserted world, letting the silence wash over us like it’s comforting instead of terrifying. During the trip, Lilly and I get to know one another again while Walker gets to know us both better. At times we even manage to wrangle some conversation out of Ben, who actually seems to enjoy talking about his mom and the video games he misses.

  By the time we reach the now familiar fork in the road, my calves ache, but I can’t help grinning at Walker when our eyes meet. The last time we were here, he was furious at me for trying to destroy myself and he could barely look at me, but now he takes my hand and gives it a squeeze.

  “Almost there.”

  I throw my head back and laugh. “I can’t believe we made it.”

  Lilly’s eyes light up when she turns to look my way. “How much farther?”

  “Turn right down there and you’ll be able to see the town in the distance,” Walker says. “Ten minutes of walking. Maybe fifteen, thanks to me.”

  “What are we waiting for?” Lilly shouts, then takes off. She isn’t quite running—she knows Walker would never be able to do that—but she’s walking faster than ever before.

  Walker moves as fast as his possibly broken ribs will allow him. Ben jogs at his side, not saying anything, and I keep pace with them. Lilly is about four feet in front of us.

  She turns left and disappears from sight, and I let go of Walker’s hand when the urge to run hits me.

  “Go on,” he says, grinning. Looking like the real Walker.

  I pick up the pace, calling over my shoulder, “I’ll see you up there!”

  It takes me less than a minute to reach the intersection. When I turn, I nearly run into Lilly. She’s standing in the middle of the road, just staring off into the distance. The expression on her face is hard to read, but something about it makes my heart almost stop.

  “What?” I ask, trying to swallow down the panic. “What is it?”

  Lilly shakes her head but doesn’t say a word. My heart is pounding like a jackhammer when I stare into the distance, but everything looks okay to me. The houses are there, a few kids are playing in the street. There’s a little trail of smoke drifting up into the blue sky, and I know it’s from the fire.

  “It’s so beautiful,” Lilly finally says.

  I let out a deep sigh of relief, laughing louder than I have in years. “You scared the shit out of me!”

  I shove my sister, and she stumbles a little, but then she’s back at my side and her arms are wrapped around me. She’s crying. Hugging me and sobbing, and an emotion so raw claws at my throat that it’s literally impossible for me to talk. My eyes fill with tears until the world around me blurs, and all I can do is hug my sister. This is a moment I thought I’d never have again. Happiness and hope and love, and a future that doesn’t look like I’m facing hell.

  “What’s going on?” Walker says from behind us.

  I turn, expecting to find the same worry I’d felt written on his face, but he’s smiling. Relaxed. Of course he is. Walker has always been an optimist, so he wouldn’t see us crying and expect bad news. That isn’t him, and it’s exactly why I need him in my life.

  “Nothing,” I say, wiping my tears away with the back of my arm.

  Ben is staring at the town with an almost smile on his lips. “We should go.”

  “We should.”

  The four of us head toward Hope, and when we’re still maybe thirty feet away, someone sees us. I recognize Ginger’s curves before I can make out her face, but I’m glad to see her this time. She waves, then yells something over her shoulder that’s not loud enough for me to hear. Behind her, someone takes off running just as Ginger shoves the gate open.

  “Thought we’d lost you!” she calls when we’re closer.

  “No way,” Walker says, shaking his head.

  “Ran into a little trouble,” I add, “but we’re all in one piece.”

  Ginger’s gaze moves over us, spending extra time on Ben before resting on Lilly. “You must be the sister.”

  “I am.” Lilly nods and smiles.

  Ginger steps aside when we reach the entrance, sweeping her hand toward the center of town dramatically. “Welcome to Hope.” Then she turns to Walker. “Tara is going to be thrilled to see you. She’s probably with Rebekah right now.”

  Walker puts his hand on his side and starts jogging, moving faster than I’ve seen him move since we left our little hideout. I hurry after him, and we’ve only taken ten steps
total when Tara comes into view. She steps out from under the canopy, and a huge smile breaks out across her face before she takes off running. She squeals like a cheerleader, even jumping into the air excitedly. It gives me a little glimpse of what she must have been like before all this happened.

  They meet in the middle of the street, slamming into each other so hard I become seriously worried about Walker’s other ribs. He’s laughing—although the way his eyes are scrunched up tells me the impact didn’t feel great—and Tara’s crying. Then she sees his bruised-up appearance and starts crying harder. Hugging him like she isn’t sure he’s really alive.

  “I was starting to wonder if I was ever going to see you again!” she cries when she’s finally calmed down enough to talk.

  “I told you I’d be back. Don’t I always keep my word?”

  Tara wipes her face. “Even you have limits, Walker.”

  Then she turns to hug me and meet my sister and Ben. More people come out of the woodwork to greet us, including Jed, who’s more than a little anxious to hear about the creepers we saw on our way. All around us, people talk and ask questions and introduce themselves to Lilly and Ben. It’s the closest thing to a party I’ve experienced since the invasion, and my heart swells with joy until I’m sure it’s going to burst.

  I step back and watch my sister from the sidelines as she animatedly talks to the people around her. The smile on her face is so beautiful and sincere that it totally overshadows the scar.

  When I turn, my eyes meet Walker’s. He smiles as he extracts himself from the group and comes over to my side. His arm goes around me in a half hug, and I return it.

  “What are you thinking?” he asks.

  “I’m thinking that this must be a dream, because not too long ago I was sure I’d never smile again for real.”

  “It’s not a dream,” Walker says, then pulls me in for a hug that, to me, feels exactly like home.

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  Want more young adult fiction? Check out Moonchild, a science fiction/fantasy romance set in a post-apocalyptic future!