by King Ellie
I would never let him go. Never.
****
Carson
I shouldn’t have touched or rather tasted Katerina because now, I couldn’t get enough of her. After the first time I tasted her, I’d try and do just that whenever she let me. I knew that her mother knew something had changed between the two of us because she kept giving me a knowing look yet when I asked Katerina, she laughed telling me I was just paranoid because we hadn’t spoken to Mr. Di’Maggio yet. I could admit that. I didn’t like that every time I went to her house, I couldn’t touch her like I wanted to. We had to sneak kisses between us and sometimes, she couldn’t even walk me to the door and say goodnight. Other times, I’d be sitting there with Tony, either watching our plays and the tapes observing ourselves then I’d make the mistake of going to grab a snack. There Katerina would be either talking to her parents, doing homework or practicing a song on their grand piano in the living room. I wanted to grab her, do all the things that I could do to her with my mouth until I felt that she was satisfied but once something like that crossed my mind, her father would come in the room. As if he had a GPS for when my mind would go somewhere dark and dirty.
Going on our dates was fun. I tried taking her everywhere I could. Giving her a chance to try something new like horseback riding. That reminded me of our ranch that we had back home. I grew up on that ranch with my father and then when we first moved here, to a bit more of city life, it was hard to adjust but I made do with what I could that reminded me of back home. That date had been the funniest because Katerina was so afraid of those sweet, sweet creatures. She thought that the horses were going to eat her alive so instead, she rode a pony by herself but when it got to the horse, she rode with me.
“What are you thinking about?” Katerina asked me.
“Hmm, not much. Just thinking about when we went horseback riding,” I snickered trying to keep quiet because here I was, in her room as though her father couldn’t find us and kill me.
“Lord, I was sore. I remember Mom thought I had sex and you were a little too rough with me.”
I leaned in, kissing her naked shoulder. “Let your mom know that when, and yes I mean when, we do end up having sex, I would take care of you after. If you’re sore, I’d be so damn happy. I’ll be cheesin’ like a damn fool.”
Katerina lowly chuckled.
“Of course, you’d be cheesin’,” she copied my accent. “I’ll rock your world, baby.”
I shook my head trying not to smile but I couldn’t stop it.
“You’re a mess, ya know that?” was all I could respond with.
Her response was much more sinister than I expected as she rubbed her panty covered ass on my already rock-hard dick. She was killing me. I bit her shoulder a bit harder this time, she yelped and covered her mouth.
“Stop it, Bubba. You know I love it when you do that.”
I moved from biting her shoulder to her biting her neck. Her breath hitched as my arm moved from where it was simply resting around her waist to dipping inside her panties. She was so wet; I swear she needed a slippery when wet sign stamped on her pussy. I began rubbing her clit knowing this was what she really wanted me to do. My other arm that was supporting her head, needed to do its job as well. I covered her mouth with my hand as I sunk my fingers inside of her making sure to work it just how she likes it. She began riding my fingers and I swear my dick whimpered in agony. Yes, my girlfriend was a dick tease, but I loved this little dick tease so much, I was willing to let her put me through such temptation.
“Tell me Lil’ darlin’?” I started, whispering in her ear as my thumb joined in the assault on her clit. “How does it feel to have your life turned upside down by me huh? You know why I say you’re a mess right, baby?” I picked up the speed.
Katerina bit the palm of my hand and I hissed.
“Fuck!” I lowly exclaimed. I didn’t think it was possible that she could grow wetter, but she just did, all because I cussed in her ear. “Fuckin’ come,” I commanded, and her body obeyed me as if it finally recognized that I was the only one that could do this to her.
Thank Christ for my hand over her mouth or else, the entire house would’ve known what we were doing. I played in her sloppy, wet pussy for a little bit longer causing her body to have some aftershocks then I removed my fingers so that I could lick them clean. Katerina turned to face me, she watched me for a moment as I licked my fingers clean. She licked her lips in response and I leaned in, letting her meet me all the way so I could kiss her silly.
I felt Katerina’s hand as it took my dick out to play. She gripped it hard just as I liked it. She was so attentive to what turned me on and that made me want to give her all the pleasure she wanted and needed. I shuddered as she picked up speed but not enough to send me over the edge yet. I abruptly flipped us with me being top of her as I continued to kiss her, and her hand slipped from my throbbing dick. I didn’t care as I teased her soaked panties giving me the ability to perfectly rub on her sensitive clit. She shuddered, wrapping her legs around my waist. She pulled away from my lips and I looked into her eyes. Big, brown and beautiful eyes that pulled me in every chance they could.
“I’m ready,” Katerina said to me.
For a moment, I was confused by what she meant.
“What do you mean?”
She stopped all movement and cupped my face in her small hands. This had become a gesture I loved. It made me feel so special.
“I want to go all the way. Tonight. Right now,” She clarified, and my heart began beating so loud, I forget about everything else.
“Are,” I cleared my throat. Feeling my face grow hot. “Are you sure you want this? I can wait longer Kitty, I really can. Maybe not to the end of the world but dammit, I’d do my best to wait that long,” I let her know.
I didn’t want her to feel like I was pressuring her, because I wasn’t.
“Baby, I’ve never been so ready in my life for anything else. Shit, I’d probably marry you right now if you asked me,” she joked.
I knew she was joking but my mouth opened anyways,
“will you though?”
“Will I what?” she was playing dumb so that I could ask her again. I could see the smile on her face forming.
“Will you marry me?” I knew that I was definitely blushing now if I wasn’t before.
“Yes,” she answered with no hesitation. “On one condition though,” she said.
“Anything.”
She smiled sweetly at me. She traced over my eyebrows, I shut my eyes. She moved on to my lashes, my cheeks, my jaw and finally my lips. I opened my eyes once she was done.
“That you follow your dream first and that you don’t mind me being there. I’ll follow you wherever you go Carson McDermott, I promise you that. I will never leave you, no matter what.”
She didn’t know what she was saying to me. How much that moved me. How much it made me love her beyond measures.
“Okay baby.” I kissed her again, and we were back being hot and heavy. I pulled away from her lips before I did something stupid like slip in without a condom, I groaned. “I don’t have any protection. We can just wait.”
I didn’t want to wait but I wasn’t about to say that to her. She reached out and opened her dresser, pulling out a pack of condoms that I swear was in my room.
“No, these aren’t from your room. I took a picture of the ones you had and went shopping with my mother. Before you ruin the moment by asking me if I told my mother about what we were going to do tonight, no I didn’t say it was tonight, but I did tell her my decision.”
I smiled,
“When did you make this decision?”
“Two weeks ago. I just wanted to make sure I was certain about this and I am. Carson, I love you and I wouldn’t want anyone else to take my virginity but you,” she handed me the condoms and I took them in my hand.
I moved back to remove my boxer-briefs. My hands trembled a bit because I couldn’t believe that we were going
to do this now and that she trusted me like this. I took a deep breath in and let out my nervousness. I couldn’t be nervous because then I would fuck it up for her. I removed the boxer-briefs, opened the box placing it on the side of us, and ripped the foil from one of them. I glanced at Katerina as she had already removed her panties and her tank top. She smiled at me, so sweetly that I couldn’t do a damn thing but return it.
I situated myself back on top of her. I began to tease her clit again, wanting her to release under my touch. I could tell that she was nervous even if she didn’t say it out loud. Her body trembled as I leaned in, kissing her softly. Her arms wrapped around my neck as I replaced my fingers with the tip of my penis near her entrance. I didn’t pull away from kissing her as I slowly entered her inch by excruciating inch. Was I sweating already, or had I been sweating the entire time? She pulled away from my kisses. I watched her as I slipped in some more and I knew when I broke through the barrier because she gasped in a deep, deep breath that had me so, in love, I couldn’t look anywhere else.
Tears slipped out of her eyes and I slipped out only leaving the tip in. I looked into her eyes; she was staring back at me. I knew what she said was true, she would follow me to the ends of the earth.
“I love you, Katerina. Thank you for this gift. I will never take this for granted.”
I slipped back in, giving her some time to adjust to my size and then I felt as she relaxed. She wrapped her legs around my waist, and I began to really move inside of her. I didn’t want to hurt her too much, so I was gentle. One of my hands went between our bodies so that I could rub her clit giving her as much pleasure as I was receiving. Katerina moaned so unexpectedly, I almost stopped moving but I was so lost in her that I knew it wasn’t going to be a possibility. If her father came in right now, I wouldn’t get up. There was no way in hell I was slipping out of her. She was so tight, so hot and the way she gripped me, all I could do was tremble. I placed a hand over her mouth as I increased the speed not just from my thumb but the way I was making love to her. Today wasn’t about fucking, it was about showing her with my body that I loved her, and I would never hurt her. I wanted to thank her for the way that she gave me herself. She trusted me and I promised myself that I would never disappoint her.
I felt her orgasm building up from the way she pulled at my hair, I removed my hand from her mouth wanting to just hear one moan. She released it but it was too loud, and I placed a hand over her mouth again.
“Mmm,” I groaned in her ear. “Come for me, my Lil’ kitty kat. Give me what I want,” She shut her eyes so tight as her body gave in. “Thank you,” I whispered in her ear as I continued to move inside of her.
Not even a minute after, I reached my release and had to bite down on her shoulder to prevent from moaning her name out as though she was the one that fucked me.
I removed my hand from her mouth collapsing on top of her.
“Thank you, baby,” Katerina said to me and I felt her lips on my shoulder. “I love you.” She said to me once more.
“I love you too. Now, which one of us is gon’ break the news to your father that we’re together? He’s going to kill me for sure.” I knew it, so did she.
Katerina laughed, this time, I was too tired to care if someone heard her.
“We’ll both tell him. He’s not going to kill you if I’m there. He’s a big softie that one.”
I shook my head feeling her gripping my dick again as if to remind me that I was still buried inside her.
“Stop doing that or else, your father is going to find out in the worst way possible. I will make you scream my name so loud; he’ll be forced to kill me so that I can slip outside of the sweetest thing I’ve ever buried my dick in.”
“Oooh, baby,” she crooned. “Don’t threaten me with a good time.”
I shook my head once more,
“you’re fuckin’ insane and I’m too addicted now to do anythin’ about it.”
Her response was to pull me in for another kiss. One that would lead with me wanting to have her again and again. This was the beginning of the worst addiction ever and one, I didn’t particularly want to kick.
****
Katerina
Dating Carson was something else. At first, we just took it as the day came but now, I couldn’t see myself without him. It hadn’t even been that long. We started dating at the beginning of the second semester and now, we were nearing the biggest day of our high school lives, well for me anyway, prom. For Carson, it was his final game that every one of us showed up for. Now, I was nervous because tonight was Prom and we decided to let my father know that we were dating. There were instances that I for sure thought he knew about what was going on with me and Carson, but he didn’t say a word.
There was a knock on my door,
“you decent, Lil’ darlin’?” He asked.
I shook my head; did he really ask that when he had seen me naked how many times? I smiled staring at myself in the mirror.
“Come in,” I said to him.
He came in and I made eye contact with him through my full-length mirror. There were many things that Carson surprised me with but this time, the shock was written all over my face. He was wearing a classic all-black suit from his dress shirt that had the first two buttons open all the way down to his red-bottom loafers. I didn’t know he owned any damn loafers. He had his hair French-braided back. The fact that my boyfriend could French braid better than I had me always side-eyeing him. The lapel of his suit jacket was white along with the pocket square and a few buttons on the jacket.
When I met his eyes, he had this possessive, hungry expression.
“Gorgeous,” was all he said.
I looked at what he was seeing. I went prom dress shopping with Mom and Gabby. Gabby chose this one and we all agreed. Instead of the classic long prom dress, I went with a dress that was off the shoulders, long sleeve, all-white sequinned dress that shined as though they were diamonds, it hugged my waist but not too tight and the rest of the dress flared. It was a poufy dress that stopped at my knees. My hair was pulled up into a high bun, I completed the look with diamond earrings that my dad got me, custom made canvas shoes and mom did my makeup.
“Thank you,” I shyly replied.
“You’re welcome, darlin’. Now, let’s go face your father.”
I turned to face him, with the biggest smile on my face.
“What are you going to say to him?” I asked.
He pulled his bottom lip into his mouth before speaking,
“I’ll tell him that I can’t live without you. I’ll never break your heart and I’ll make sure to cherish and love you for as long as he allows me. I’ll skip the sex details yeah. Let’s not get me killed today.”
I will never forget the smile on my face as I placed my hand in his and we made our way down to tell my parents that we were officially dating. My father pulled a gun out on him and yes, the safety was off then he held him in a chokehold that I almost cried but because Carson never once flinched or back downed from wanting to be with me till my father nodded. He didn’t say anything more, but his nod meant everything. My mother was so excited for me. My twin shrugged letting dad know that he already threatened Carson and punched him as a warning. This made my dad smile as he placed the safety back on his gun and put it away. Before he left the room, he had turned to Carson and said,
“Don’t hurt her. That’s all. She’s my baby and if she cries, you die.”
Carson should’ve been scared but instead, he was smiling wide like he won a million bucks.
He smiled the same when we went away for school, even when I found out I was pregnant at eighteen and then when we announced to our family that we were going to get married before the baby was born. He smiled when our son was born, cherishing him more than anything else but when we had to let Jude go, there was no smile.
I had never seen Carson cry like he had when he laid over his son’s closed casket at the funeral. I couldn’t comfort him. I didn’t know-
how. I was so lost and confused. I was frozen in a space or rather time. I didn’t understand what this meant but I knew I was withdrawing. Carson’s tears tore at me so much, but it wasn’t enough to keep me there. I couldn’t look at him in his eyes. I was ashamed, sad and all sorts of feelings because I couldn’t take care of our son. I didn’t see the truck that came at us when I was driving us. I lost our son; it was my fault. Everyone said it was an accident except for my family including Carson. They said something was wrong, but I couldn’t bring myself out of this state to listen, so I ran. I ran from my family, my son, and my Carson.
If I had known what would happen to us, I would’ve never said yes to him. I would’ve never broken both our hearts like this.
PART TWO: PRESENT
Chapter 8
Carson
Here I was, visiting Jude’s grave again. I came three times a week. I wanted to keep him company and make sure he knew I still loved him. Even though, we couldn’t physically have him with us anymore. I would never forget about him. It still pained me to not see his little smile or hear the way he called me daddy. Someone left him flowers, I looked around briefly, but I didn’t see anyone. I shrugged not even trying to let my mind wander because I was his only living family here.
I promised myself that I wouldn’t lose myself in thoughts of Jude or even the woman that left me. She told me she loved me and was gone. She discarded me just as my mother did. I tried not to think about her but sometimes, when her twin, my best friend visited, it hurt me because I saw some of her features in him. Just like right now, I glanced at him and he stared down at Jude’s tombstone. His features were trying not to appear sad and I knew it was because of me.
“It’s alrigh’, ya know that right?” I told him.
He glanced my way. His blue eyes trying to mask the sadness. I could see it every time he visited me. The sadness over his twin disappearing further pushing me into a lifestyle that nobody wanted for me, the loss of my son, and how I gave up on going pro. I was surprised that my father didn’t want me to be an enforcer like him. I was okay with it because there was so much anger inside of me and I needed to execute it somehow. I needed to feel something else other than what I’d been dealt with for these past years. As for going pro, I didn’t see the need to do so. Why would I do it? There was no joy in the game, no love for it anymore. So much of me was gone that if I stepped on that field, I would’ve gotten myself injured on purpose.