Dear, Carson McDermott (The Dear letters Series Book 1)

by King Ellie

  I cried knowing that we couldn’t, we wouldn’t make it. Carson was given the chance to try-out early, they said he was going to be one of the youngest and most talented football player in his time.

  The paramedics had arrived on the scene, I didn’t know who she was at the moment but now I did. I didn’t see it then because of the way she did her make-up and that there wasn’t an apparent slash on her face like there was now. She took Jude out of my hands as I thought she was helping. As they walked away, my car exploded throwing me back a couple of feet back. I didn’t feel anything as my heart went into a panic over my child. I stood running trying to run around the wreckage, but a pedestrian held me back. I screamed and screamed, wanting to get my child. How could this be happening in front of me? I screamed so painfully hard for Jude; I lost all resolve. My world was fading at that time, I didn’t only lose our son Jude that day, I also lost Carson’s future because I couldn’t tell that she was a bad person. That she was a fake.

  All of that was gone now. His mother and her husband took Carson’s future away from him and his son, our son.

  I took a breath, looking at Cross as she sat on the floor in front of Carson’s mother. Carson’s mother had yet to say a thing as she watched us two. I reached out in my pocket for the new iPhone that Carson got me. I pressed the number 1 to dial him. It didn’t even ring that long as he picked up,

  “Baby?” He said. He sounded dejected.

  “You okay?” I asked.

  “I need you; I really do but finish what you have to and then come to me, please.” The way he spoke made me shut my eyes.

  I thought back to when he first asked me to stay with him when we were in high school. The way he felt so remorseful for something he didn’t do. The way he was apologetic when there was no problem with how he expressed his feelings of being upset at the diner.

  “I love you; you know that right? I’m not going anywhere but I need you to promise me one thing.

  I heard him take a deep breath,

  “Anything,” He replied.

  “I know it’s not too late for you to go pro. I want you to give me the one thing you promised me you would. You promised that you wouldn’t give up on your dream, baby, please don’t give up. Please,” I begged him.

  He grunted,

  “you know I never want you to beg me for anything but for you, I’d do it. I’ll keep my promise. After all, this is said and done, I’ll do it. I love you, Lil’ darlin’.”

  This made me smile.

  “I love you too, Bubba. I’ll see you soon.” I hung up.

  Cross looked my way with a smile on her face,

  “I like this, I might stick around longer this time.”

  I chuckled as I joined her on the floor.

  “You sure it isn’t because a certain someone hasn’t made you realize how much you love him and how stupid it all is?”

  Before Cross could answer, Carson’s mother decided to talk.

  “Will you just get on with it already? I know you’re going to kill me! So just do it.”

  I cocked an eyebrow and before I realized it, I had smacked the shit out of her. It was all out of pure instinct.

  “You have no right! None! You dare open your mouth when you know what you did!”

  Cross whistled, “I knew Bubba loved you for a reason. That violent streak in you is something else, mama,” She winked at me and then she reached out for the duct tape placing it over the witch’s mouth.

  “Thanks,” I smiled. “Okay, now what?”

  Cross wiggled her brows as she gripped one of Carlie’s foot, so I grabbed the other one. I watched her as she picked up her knife, so I grabbed the one she had for me.

  “Now, you know how there are pressure points in the feet?” She asked. “Well this one between the big toe and the middle toe, the thick skin, if you apply pressure, it helps with your vision, leg cramps, and even liver disease but we’re not trying to help you, now are we, Carlie?” Cross said her name as though she were a snake releasing her venom into her victim.

  Cross knew I was watching so she stuck the tip of the knife into that same chunk of meat. I smiled as I stuck the whole knife in. Carlie’s muffled screams were like fuel to my soul. I never understood why I didn’t do this before. I chuckled as I took it even further, I removed the knife and cut off her middle toe.

  “Look!” I said to Cross, “it’s like a small fuck you to the world.”

  Cross lightly chuckled but shook her head. “You are definitely a match made in heaven or hell, I’m not sure yet.”

  For a moment, I thought I answered her as I concentrated on the blood flowing out of her foot. I lifted her foot as I sliced through the sole of her foot. I turned to face her, “Whatever do you mean?”

  Cross’s eyes widened.

  “Uh-oh, I know that look. I’ve seen it countless times on Bubba’s face when he enjoyed playing with blood a little too much on certain missions.”

  I scoffed. That wasn’t what this was. This was revenge. Cross watched me as I stood walking behind Carlie, I removed the duct tape.

  “I have only one question for you,” I asked her as I unbuckled my jeans. I didn’t need a belt, but I wanted to make sure I didn’t forget it. “When you hit my man and my son, did you ever care to realize that they were innocent in all this? Why did you hit them!” I screamed as I brought my hand back and back down as I whipped her with the belt.

  She yelped but she didn’t answer me. I forgot all about everyone as I focused on my son, and my husband. The look of hopelessness. The faraway expression, the damage that she did on their innocent souls. I continuously whipped her not caring about the red marks that were showing up through her shirt.

  “I HATED HIM!” she screamed out. “I hated how much Ricardo wanted Carson. It made me hate Carson.” She cried. “I wanted to kill Carson that’s why I beat him so bad that he ended up in the hospital. No one told him to attract the attention of my man. He was my man! Not his! Then Jude was there, I wanted to kill that fucking little shit, but Ricardo wouldn’t let me! I hate him! I hate him! I HATE CARSON! He took everythin’ from me!”

  “This fucking bitch,” I said a little too calmly as I dropped the belt. “I’m gonna shoot her. I don’t want to hear her mouth anymore and I want to get back to my man.” I looked up at Cross.

  She shrugged,

  “You’ve done enough. I’ve got this. Take the keys and go to him. I’ll take care of her. I have to meet my father-in-law anyways.”

  I was curious,

  “What are you going to do with her?” I asked.

  Cross tilted her head at a sobbing Carlie,

  “Hmm, well I gotta meet pops at one of the Irish’s hideouts. Apparently, someone betrayed the infamous Jude Morgan McDermott.”

  I paused.

  “Well, they’re fucked then. Hey, can I see that gun?” Cross tossed me the gun she had in the small of her back.

  I aimed it, making sure to shoot where Cross told me, Carlie wouldn’t bleed out right away. I shot Carlie in the lower back hoping that I hit the spinal cord. From the screams and sobs on the floor, it was painful. Cross clapped her hands,

  “I’m so happy you’re my sister in law!” She exclaimed. “Now, go!”

  “I love you, Lisette. Thank you.” I blew her a kiss.

  She winked at me,

  “Love you too, short stacks,” She winked at me as I left.

  Chapter 21

  Jude M. McDermott-Father

  One thing I didn’t fucking appreciate was being betrayed. I had the money, the means, and the pull to be a mob boss, but I didn’t like it. It wasn’t my thing and I didn’t care for it but now, Estevez’s brother played me. If I give you even a minute of my time and you take advantage of it, I will hunt you down and do exactly what I do to your enemies.

  Ronan O’Brien was Estevez’s half-brother and he fed into this sick bitch’s shit and got my family involved. Anyone that I worked with, not for, knew never to touch my family. They were
my sore spot and if you did that, you had a death wish. I sat down on the couch of the same farmhouse that had the underground torture chamber. My cell went off, I picked it up,

  “Is it done?” I asked Gabriel Di’Maggio, Katerina’s Uncle.

  “Yep. Took out the coroner, paramedics, and anybody else who was involved. As for the judge, Matt dealt with that. Let’s just say the judge won’t ever be using a gavel since he has no fingers to grip it.”

  I chuckled,

  “I like my in-laws. I respect the fuck outta yous and that says a lot when it comes from me.”

  Gabriel chuckled,

  “I know. We’ve heard about you even when you want to keep certain shit silent. And next time Jude, do us a favor?” Gabriel said.

  “What’s that, Gabe?” I asked.

  “Use the ninja. Kira said, she would’ve happily sliced folks into two.”

  I groaned.

  “Love me a chocolate ninja for my damn self but Xavier might shoot me. He’d miss but I don’ like messin’ wit’ my suits.”

  Gabriel chuckled,

  “I’ll let him know. We’ll see you back at the house.”

  “Alright.” I hung up just in time to see Beau come in the house with Ronan and his minions.

  I cracked my neck as Ronan sat down across from me on a single chair while his minions stood. He was an ugly son of a bitch. Balding when he was merely in his thirties, short as fuck and a temper so foul, you could tell his shit stank.

  “Who are you to summon me, Enforcer?” He sneered.

  None of them ever knew my name nor did they get the chance to call me it.

  I ran a hand through my hair,

  “I heard you’ve got a brother. Ricardo Estevez, right?”

  His eyes widened but then he tried to play it off.

  “What of it?” He asked.

  I leaned in, placing my elbows on my knees as I clasped my hands together.

  “What did I ever tell you I’d do if ever you touched my family? I remind all you dumb fucks that I don’ work for ya’ll. I told ya’ll I have no conscious. I will end your entire clan if you ever touch what is mine. We agreed to keep our personal lives separate yet you dabbled in mine. You fed your perverted, pussy ass brother of yours and he not only terrorized my son but my grandchild,” I sighed as I stood.

  Ronan stood,

  “What of it!” He said a bit louder this time.

  “O’Brien sit your puny ass down before I put you down and you don’ wan’ that. I’ll break your jaw in different places like I did your brother. Sit. Down.” I gritted through my teeth.

  Like the bitch that I knew he was, Ronan sat down. Cross came in just in time with a broken looking Carlie. She wasn’t dead, and she was awake, so I was happy about that. Cross placed her on the coffee table, Carlie made eye contact with me and I spit at her. She could tell by the fury in my eyes that something was going to go down, but she didn’t know what. I didn’t say anything as I passed by Ronan’s minions knowing they were never going to do anything as they were loyal to their actual boss, me. As I walked out of the room, they followed along with Cross and Beau.

  We didn’t have to worry about Ronan or Carlie escaping because two of the minions were dying for this cause. As we made it to a safe distance further down the road, I got out of the car, I turned to look at the farmhouse as Beau pressed a number on his burner phone. I watched as the house exploded setting off a chain of explosives not only from the house but also to the underground area where Ricardo and Stanislav’s body was.

  As my in-laws would say arrivederci, motherfuckers.

  ****

  Carson

  I didn’t know how long I had been sitting out here, in the backyard. Some could call it hiding, I like to call it being by myself. I planted my back on the cement part of the house then I saw from my peripheral vision that my father-in-law came to sit by me. He didn’t say anything, he just sat there with me like he did those two nights I was at Jude’s tombstone. Then, his brothers both Gabriel and Mike came out and then we were joined by Tony. I still didn’t say anything. Then my father and Beau joined. We all sat out there for what felt like hours not saying a word, just watching as the sunset. Jude came out last, He looked at all the men in their expensive suits and attire, sitting on the dirty floor not saying a word. He looked at me while I watched him stand in front of all of us.

  “Can I join?” He asked us.

  I nodded. He came and squeezed between me and my father in law. I glanced up at the sky, finally feeling free. Feeling like I could soothe the young me. Show him that no matter what, there were men in your life that would never hurt you. Men who would love you like their own brother, or son. Men who would protect you no matter what. They could say they’d never forgive you, but those words were nothing compared to their action.

  “Thank you,” I said to every man that sat out here with me.

  “Thank us by making yourself, your son and your wife, my daughter, whole again.” Mr. Di’Maggio, my dad said to me.

  “I will, Dad. I will.” I smiled wide.

  ****

  After we got back in, I helped Jude get ready for bed. He was excited because we were leaving this Godforsaken place once and for all. I sighed as I entered the room that I was sleeping in with Katerina. I removed my clothes, not caring about anything else. I slid in the sheets laying my head on her chest. I wrapped my arms around her waist holding her so close to me.

  “You will always have me when you need me, Carson,” Katerina said to me.

  I kissed her stomach as she ran her fingers through my hair.

  “I will always love you, baby, and I think it’s time I give you the peace that you were supposed to have when you said yes to marry me.”

  Katerina snorted,

  “Actually, what I got after you asked me that was some dick.”

  I couldn’t help it as I laughed so freely for the first time in a long time. I moved, hovering over her now.

  “That’s what you want?” I asked her as I gazed deep into her eyes. I teased her with my now hardened dick. I groaned at how wet she already was. Thank the blessed lord that Katerina slept naked.

  Katerina cupped my face in her small hands. I kissed each palm. I shut my eyes loving her touch on my skin.

  “Look at me, Carson,” she said to me just like she did multiple times. I opened my eyes staring into her beautiful brown eyes. “Make love to me like our first time.”

  I smiled at her, so sweetly. I leaned in kissing her forehead, then her eyelids, cheeks, her chin, even the sides of her mouth. Then I kissed her lips as if it was the first time that I did it. Back when everything was so simple. When I was just an eighteen-year-old boy who was hopelessly in love with my best friend’s sister, afraid to tell her for fear she didn’t see how serious I was about her. Yet, every time her eyes would land on me from wherever we were, I could see us together. Our future and see me loving her so damn hard that it would be deemed crazy. I didn’t care though; I could be crazy or insane for her. For my baby, my Katerina.

  Epilogue-One year later

  Jude-The Son

  I watched the clock on the wall go. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

  “How’s everything at home, Jude?” Our family therapist, Dr. Lee asked.

  I glanced at him then I stared back at the clock. If I looked at the clock, then I wouldn’t lose concentration on what I wanted to say. I shrugged,

  “It’s goin’ okay, I guess,” I answered.

  “Just okay?” he asked me. I didn’t have to look at him to know he tilted his head as he fixed his glasses.

  “Well,” I smiled as I thought of my parents. “mama is like, the best. I never knew my mother would be so cool. She’s tiny as ever but she runs the place. As for my dad, I wanna be like em’ when I’m bigger. I wanna play football like em’, be a quarterback, all of that.”

  This time, I looked at Dr. Lee as he smiled back at me.

  “See, it wasn’t just going okay, Jude. You’ve come
a long way and as I told you, you have time. Take your time with everything. Your parents aren’t going anywhere. Now, let’s talk about your nightmares. How often are you having them?”

  My eyes widened,

  “How do you know about em’?”

  He cocked a brow at me.

  “If I tell you, will you yell at me like you did a couple of months ago when I asked you this same question?”

  I smirked,

  “Nah. I won’t but you don’t have to say a thang. I know it was Mama. Sometimes, when I have them, she comes in my room and lays down wit’ me.”

  Dr. Lee nodded,

  “Does that make you uncomfortable?”

  I shook my head, “Nah, it doesn’. I trust ‘er, I love er’. The fact that Daddy loves ‘er, I love ‘er even more. Whoever he trusts, I trust more.”

  Dr. Lee wrote something in his notepad.

  “Would you have trusted her without your father there?”

  Without hesitating, I answered.

  “Yes. She shows me every day that she wants me. She doesn’t look at me wit’ embarrassment in ‘er eyes. She doesn’ even say a thang when I lash out sometimes. Instead, she waits till’ I’ve calmed down and then she talks to me. Tells me stories of er’ growin’ up. Bout my great grandparents, my grandparents on her side and about Dad too.”

  Dr. Lee smiled once again at this.

  “Are you comfortable around the men in your family, Jude?”

  I shut my eyes not liking the question but understanding that I’ve come to a place in my life that I can share private things with Dr. Lee.

  “I am. None of them touch me in a way that they shouldn’. They teach me how to defend myself. Sometimes, when I’m over at Nonno’s, I mean grandpa’s house, we just sit there. We don’t talk or nothin’, he doesn’t make me say anything’ less I want to. I love that time cause I ain’t scared of nothing’ round my family. I feel safe.”

  “I like the progress that you’re making, Jude. I see that you’re learning not to use your aggression when you want to say something. You’re seeing that not every man that comes in your life is there to hurt you. Just like me, I know you trust me because if you didn’t, you wouldn’t be sitting here.”