An Intentional Life
Page 19
• When you are disappointed in an outcome, notice your experience as a result. What are your feelings? Thoughts?
Reflect:
• When taking action toward a goal, reflect on what you have control over and what you do not.
• Reflect upon your definition of success. In what areas might your definitions of success be narrow and limit you?
• Think about how you can stay committed to your aspirations while remaining flexible in how you get there.
Choose:
• Choose to be more interested in the quality of the effort that you bring to an action.
• Choose to be less interested in winning.
• Choose to view disappointing outcomes as an inevitable part of taking meaningful action. How might doing so change your approach to future action?
Act:
• Practice taking intentional action on what is here right now.
• When you are waiting for something to happen, take intentional action in some other area of your life. This will help you shift out of a state-of-waiting.
• Practice moving on from disappointment by learning from experience and continuing to take meaningful action.
Chapter 13 Practices:
How to Work Skillfully
with Stuck-ness
Awareness:
• Notice how you experience feeling stuck. What are the physical sensations?
• Notice the difference in your energy when you feel stuck and when you feel free to act.
• When you take a small action toward a goal, notice the change in energy. Does it give you a lift in energy?
Reflect:
• Reflect upon when you have felt stuck in the past few months. Where were you? What action were you trying to take?
• Reflect upon a time when you avoided what you intended to do. What were you avoiding?
• Think about some action that you would want to take right now if you felt as if nothing prevented you from taking it.
Choose:
• When you are having difficulty taking action, choose to consciously step away and take action in an area where there is no resistance. Then return and see if the experience of resistance has changed. Repeat as needed.
• Choose to engage, don’t wait to be inspired!
• When you feel inspired, choose to step up and take meaningful action. Strike while the iron is hot.
Act:
• Take one small step toward a goal. Evaluate. Take another step.
• Don’t take action that distracts you from meaningful action.
• If you feel stuck, be physically active and step outside your typical routine.
Chapter 14 Practices:
The Benefits of Joining
With Your Experience
Awareness:
• Notice the quality of your experience when you allow it to unfold.
• Notice when you feel impatient with experience and interrupt it.
• Notice when you are having an effortless experience; things are coming to you without your having to try.
Reflect:
• Think about how you allow experience to unfold more organically when you feel open and relaxed.
• Reflect on something that is hard to let go of. It might be material things, feelings, a relationship or beliefs of how things ought to be.
• Now think about ways you might loosen your grip on the things that you listed above.
Choose:
• Choose to carve out time for yourself that is not goal-directed, engaging in activities just for the sake of it.
• Choose to keep your awareness on the present moment. Choose to bring it back when your mind moves off the present moment.
• Choose to create more space for the other people in conversations, actively listening without quickly responding or filtering what is said through existing viewpoints.
Act:
• Engage in activities where you do not have specific places to be or anything to accomplish. These kinds of activities are important as a creative backdrop for realizing your aspirations.
• Try to relate to all your actions with increased focus. Multitask less.
• Practice the act of letting go. Donate things you don’t use. Approach relationships with openness to change. Challenge your beliefs that limit you.
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About the Author
A psychologist with nearly three decades of clinical and consulting experience, Lisa Kentgen, Ph.D. has taught intentional practices everywhere from the psychotherapy office to companies to the classroom. She has served on faculty at Columbia University Teachers College and as a clinical director within a research center for childhood mood and anxiety disorders at New York State Psychiatric Institute. Dr. Kentgen has published scientific articles on topics including the development of conscious awareness, the biological correlates of depression and anxiety, and identifying emotional difficulties in children. Dr. Kentgen believes passionately in the need for greater authenticity in the world today, and that transformation happens when one person at a time commits to living with intention. She lives in Brooklyn, New York