Her Second Forever

by Joanna Sims

  “No,” she said, sourly. How dare he be so practical at a time like this?

  “You don’t have anything in your truck?” she snapped, annoyed that he was the one being responsible while she was so revved up that she was about to throw caution to the wind.

  He shook his head slowly. His eyes were conflicted.

  “I suppose we should stop,” he said right before he kissed her because her mouth was so conveniently close.

  “We shouldn’t have started,” she pointed out.

  Colt put her down on the bed and stood in front of her, his legs wide, the obvious bulge in his pants a distraction. She reached out without thought and touched him—how could she not?

  “You say the word and we’ll stop.” Colt had a fire in his eyes but he didn’t reach for her. She knew he was waiting for her to decide their next move.

  Her mind knew the correct answer but she didn’t want to do what was correct. She wanted to do what was going to feel good. Colt was going to feel good.

  Lee made decisions every day and she made a decision then. She hooked her finger into Colt’s belt loop and pulled him toward her. She met his eyes while she unbuttoned and then unzipped his jeans. Her actions would speak louder than words to him.

  Colt’s fingers tugged her hair free of her loose ponytail and tipped her head backward so he could taste her lips again.

  “Are you sure?” he asked against her lips.

  “Do you want to keep talking? Or do you want to finish what you started, cowboy?” Lee asked.

  Colt yanked off his boots and tossed them aside, then he yanked off his shirt. Wanting to speed up the process, she stood up so she could rid herself of her jean shorts, glad that she could easily slip them off over her prosthetic. In that moment, it occurred to her that she had never navigated the bedroom with a man after her amputation.

  “What’s wrong?” Colt asked, getting ready to rid himself of his jeans.

  “I don’t know if I should leave my leg on or take it off,” she mused aloud.

  Colt glanced down at her leg. “That’s not the body part I’m focused on, Lee. Take it off, leave it on. I don’t care either way. Do what’s right for you.”

  “I’ll leave it on,” she decided but pulled the shoe off the foot.

  She looked up from her task to find Colt standing completely naked before her. The shoe slipped out of her hand and landed on the floor. She couldn’t take her eyes off the man standing unabashedly before her.

  “You are beautiful to look at,” Lee said, her eyes trailing down from his muscular, tanned chest, over the flat stomach to the thick engorged shaft ready for her pleasure.

  He smiled at her, completely comfortable in his own skin. And why wouldn’t he be? Colt slipped off her bra and her panties and then he lifted her up in his arms so he could put her down on the bed. He quickly joined her, wrapping her up in his arms, his hands roaming her body until he found the most sensitive center of her body. She opened for him, knowing that he could feel how much she wanted him.

  “I need to taste you.” Colt moved down so he could replace his fingers with his mouth.

  Lee closed her eyes and let Colt’s hot mouth and seeking tongue take her on a journey out of her body. She opened herself to him and dug her fingers into his thick hair to keep her grounded in the moment. He was so hungry for her, feasting on her until she was arching her back and crying out from the pleasure she was receiving from him. His hands cupped her bottom and he lifted her body, supporting her, as he thrust his tongue deep inside of her.

  Her eyes flew open as she felt herself climaxing in a way that had never happened before.

  “Colt.” She gasped his name. “Colt.”

  She was floating on air, suspended weightlessly in her mind while waves of tingles and chills skipped over her body followed by an electrical storm sending bolts of pleasure everywhere.

  “My sweet Lady Macbeth.” Colt dropped kisses on the inside of her thigh, lowering her body softly.

  Still drifting on a cloud, languid and relaxed, Lee’s eyes fluttered open. Colt leaned over her and kissed her open mouth just before he joined his body with hers. Their eyes locked as he seated himself completely inside of her.

  “I love you, Lee.” Colt kissed her again.

  She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him down on top of her. She took every inch of him. She wanted every inch of him.

  She heard him say, in the recesses of her mind, “God—I never knew it could feel like this.”

  Colt began to move inside of her, slow, steady and rhythmic while she held on for the ride. This dance, so ancient and instinctive, was natural for them. There was no learning curve, there was no need to learn each other. They moved in perfect harmony, matching their movements, matching pleasure for pleasure.

  Lee felt the tension in his body and knew that he was about to climax. It excited her and she began to move frantically beneath him, lifting up her hips to take in more of him, raking her fingernails down his back. The thought of him coming inside of her pushed her over the edge right into a second climax of her own. She cried out his name again, rolling on the waves, as he thrust deep inside of her. She was panting and straining, wanting to take more of him in and experience the release of his essence into her body again and again and again. It wasn’t until Colt had collapsed on top of her, the feeling of his weight pressing her into the mattress that the analytical part of her brain began to take charge again.

  “Holy crap.” Colt kept a hold of Lee as he moved to his back. He kissed her head with a satisfied sigh.

  “Exactly what I was thinking.” The woman in his arms sounded less thrilled than he would have expected after such an incredible lovemaking session.

  Colt looked at Lee. Her arm was flung over her eyes and she had a pained expression on her face.

  “Are you okay?” He pushed himself up onto his elbow. He wasn’t expecting high praise but Lee was not basking in post-lovemaking bliss.

  “What have I done?” Lee groaned behind her arm.

  “Come on, Lee.” Colt sighed. “Can’t we enjoy this for a couple of minutes before you start overanalyzing it?”

  “No.” She wiggled free of his arms and sat upright. “What have I done? This is a disaster.”

  Frustrated, Colt got out of bed. “No, Lee. This isn’t a disaster. World hunger is a disaster. This was just two people who happen to love each other expressing it.”

  “Quit saying that I love you,” Lee snapped. “And quit standing there like that. I can’t think straight when you’re standing there like that.”

  “You do love me or I wouldn’t be here right now,” he retorted. “And I’m just standing here like a normal person.”

  “Sure. Everyone just stands around looking like Michelangelo’s David. That’s perfectly normal.”

  Colt yanked on his jeans. “If I remember correctly, that statue looked like he had just gone swimming in really cold water. Not sure that’s a compliment.”

  “Seriously?” Lee scooted out of the bed and quickly began to dress. “You’re going to nitpick that compliment because David isn’t hung like a horse?”

  “It’s a fair point.”

  Lee pushed on his arm and pointed to the door. “Just meet me in the living room.”

  “So we can have a talk. Is that it?” He leaned over to grab his boots off the floor.

  “I know it’s not in your nature to cooperate, Colt,” Lee said, searching for her bra. “Please! Just this once! Cooperate!”

  “You thought I was pretty damn cooperative a minute ago.”

  Lee slipped on her bra and then shooed him out the door. “Go.”

  “Fine.” Colt went into the hall. “I’ll go. But I’m not leaving.”

  Lee slammed the bedroom door shut behind him. Colt stared at the door for a moment before he walked, barefoot, toward the
living room.

  “Women,” Colt said to Chester as he buttoned up his shirt and pulled on his socks and boots. “Am I right?”

  He sat down on the couch next to Chester, his eyes focused on the shut door at the end of the hall. Colt hadn’t expected to end up in bed with Lee—that thought hadn’t even crossed his mind. But after they had made love, he certainly hadn’t expected to be expelled from the bedroom. All of this was uncharted territory for Colt. He had no idea how to handle Lee.

  The chunky gray cat rolled over, gazed at him with his wide green eyes and reached out his large paw to get him to pet his stomach.

  “Why isn’t Lee this easy to love?” Colt obliged Chester and rubbed his belly.

  He waited for what seemed like an hour for Lee to emerge from the bedroom, but when he checked his phone, it had only been ten minutes. Her hair was slicked back into a bun, giving her a severe look that he hadn’t seen before. Her face was pale and grim and she was wearing a long-sleeve shirt and jeans. Her arms were crossed tightly in front of her body.

  The kiss had been an impulse—an impulse that had led to lovemaking and he couldn’t find it in his heart to regret it. He loved Lee. He meant it sincerely and with his whole being. He loved her. He wanted to make a life with her. Loving her with his body had just been a natural extension of what he had been feeling for her in his heart. He had made love to a woman—truly made love—for the first time and now that woman looked as if she regretted what had happened between them. That look on her face put a pit in his stomach that felt like a jagged mass of concrete.

  Lee paced a bit in front of him, her brow furrowed.

  “What’s on your mind?” he asked, his tone flat. It was a way to get the ball rolling. He already had a pretty good idea what was on Lee’s mind. Regret.

  “I shouldn’t have let that happen.” She stopped pacing. “That was so irresponsible of me. So unprofessional of me. I don’t even know who that person was...”

  “You made a mistake.”

  “Yes,” she agreed quickly. “I did. I made a mistake. And...” she paused for a second, gauging her words “...I’m...sorry.”

  “Well.” He dropped his head down, leaning forward so his arms were resting on his thighs. “This sure as hell is a first for me.”

  Lee looked at him questioningly.

  “I’ve never had anyone consider me a mistake before.” Colt stood up.

  “I’m not trying to make you feel badly, Colt.” Lee’s face flushed.

  “If you aren’t trying—” he found his hat on the ground by the couch and snatched it up “—you’re failing.”

  Lee sat down heavily in a nearby chair. “What do you want me to say, Colt? That this was a great idea?”

  “Yeah.” He put his hat back on and adjusted it low over his eyes. “That would be a start.”

  “You are my employee,” Lee said, “I crossed a line.”

  “I’m not your employee. I’m just a man working off my debt to society.”

  She stood up. “And that makes it so much better.”

  Colt walked over to stand before the woman he loved, wanting her to accept him in a way he wasn’t sure she could. “What do you want from me, Lee? We can’t go back and change what we did. And I sure as heck don’t want to change it. I’m in love with you.” Colt frowned. “Damn it, Lee. I want to take you out to dinner. I want you to meet my family. I want...”

  Colt’s words trailed off. He could see in her eyes that she wasn’t ready for any of that with him.

  “Forget what I want,” he said. “Tell me what you want. Do you want me to call the judge and tell him to find me a new gig?”

  For the first time since she came into the living room, Colt saw something real in her eyes. Fear. She took a step toward him but stopped. “No. Don’t do that. You’ve been such a huge asset to us. Everyone is so happy you’re there—don’t let my mistake ruin it for the program.”

  “If you want me to stay on, finish my hours with Strides, then I will. I like being there with you. I feel good when I’m there. But I’ll only stay on one condition—don’t call what happened between us a mistake again, Lee.” He swallowed hard several times. Acid was churning in his gut. He’d never felt so ill from a conversation with a woman before. If this was what love felt like, he wasn’t so sure he wanted it after all. “I can’t stand to hear those words coming out of your mouth.”

  Chapter Eight

  The conversation had left Lee feeling drained. She watched as Colt strode to the front door; she wished she could think of something to say that would make everything better between them, but she knew there were no words powerful enough to accomplish that.

  Colt paused with his hand on the doorknob. Without looking at her, he said, “This wasn’t a mistake, Lee.”

  Lee swallowed hard and fought the urge to disagree. There was no sense in it; she wasn’t going to convince Colt and he wasn’t going to convince her. When she didn’t say anything in response, Colt made a frustrated noise in the back of his throat and yanked open her front door. On the other side of the door, with her hand raised to knock, was her neighbor and friend, college professor Shayna Wade.

  “Colt Brand!” Shayna was standing at the front door with jumper cables in her hand. “What are you doing here?”

  “Just passing through,” Colt said in a monotone. He gave Shayna a quick hug, glanced back at Lee with guarded eyes and then headed with that long-legged stride of his to his truck.

  Lee tried not to stare at Colt as he backed out of her driveway. She had a horrible sinking sensation in her stomach—fear mixed with anxiety and shock. Lee tried to smile normally, as if the framework she had built for her life hadn’t just burned to the ground, hugging her friend and inviting her inside.

  “My word.” Shayna sat down on a bar stool at the kitchen island. “Colt looks so much like his brother Noah I just about had a heart attack.”

  Lee used a rag to wipe a nonexistent spot on the counter near the sink. “Does he? I wouldn’t know.”

  “The spitting image,” Shayna mused.

  “Huh.” This was the only response Lee could manage. She felt disoriented and odd. Michael had been her first and only lover. After this afternoon, that was no longer true and she couldn’t ever take that back.

  “Are you okay?”

  Lee nodded a little. “Yeah.”

  Shayna was staring at her with her keen violet-blue eyes and the expression on her face let Lee know that her friend wasn’t convinced.

  “Did Colt fix your Jeep?” her friend prodded.

  Lee nodded again. She looked up at Shayna; Shayna and her sister, Tessa, were her confidantes. They were the women to whom she bared her soul.

  “He fixed my Jeep,” she said quietly. “And then I slept with him.”

  Her friend had an analytical mind and didn’t speak without thinking first. Shayna’s face and eyes didn’t hold any shock or judgment—only contemplation.

  After a moment, Shayna said, “Good.”

  “Good?”

  “Yes,” Shayna said, “Good. Why shouldn’t you be loved, Lee?”

  “But Michael...” Her face crumpled at the thought of her husband while unwanted tears slipped onto Lee’s cheeks. She brushed them away with her fingers.

  Shayna came to her side and enveloped her in a warm hug. “Michael loved you more than life itself. He would not want you to be alone for the rest of your life. It’s not healthy.”

  Lee stepped out of her friend’s hug and located a tissue. She blew her nose loudly. “You’re alone and you’re fine.”

  Shayna lifted her eyebrows. “Define fine. I’m in love with a man who can’t see past all of this—” her friend waved her hand over her heavyset frame “—voluptuousness. I’ve been firmly in the friend zone for over a decade.”

  “Idiot.”

  “Totally.”
Shayna’s smile lit up her peaches-and-cream complexion that was offset by her glossy raven-black hair. “But I know that it’s not healthy. So who am I to judge?”

  “Thank you,” Lee said. “I’m judging myself enough. I don’t need anyone’s help.”

  “Exactly.”

  After another pause, Lee continued, “I’m a planner. I make plans. I have lists. Colt Brand isn’t on any of my lists.”

  “Maybe he should be.”

  “No,” she said. “I made a promise to Michael, and I can’t imagine someone like Colt going along with my plan.”

  “You never know. Colt is doing much better at Strides than you first assumed. Maybe he’s more evolved than you give him credit for?”

  Another shake of her head. “I don’t think so. Besides, I don’t even know what I’m talking about. It was one moment—one transgression. It’s not like I’m thinking about a relationship with Colt.”

  “Lee.” Shayna tilted her head to the side a bit. “You have traveled all around the world. You have been asked out on countless dates by men who have résumés to literally die for and no one has so much as crossed the start line with you. If you didn’t have feelings for Colt, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

  “That’s what he said.”

  Shayna nodded her head. “See—more evolved than you might assume.”

  “You know—” Lee wrapped her arms around her body, suddenly feeling a chill on her skin “—if people find out that I slept with the infamous six-o’clock-news Colt Brand while he was working off his community service at my facility—the jokes write themselves, don’t they?”

  “I can’t disagree with you there. Small town, big gossip.”

  “I don’t want the program to suffer because I...”

  “Climbed Colt Brand like a tree?” Shayna filled in the blank.

  That comment made Lee laugh for the first time since she had blown through the giant warning barricades and leaped into bed with Colt.

  “Look, Lee,” her friend said, “I know Colt has a reputation—and he came by it honestly, I’ll give him that. But one thing I know about him—he’s a gentleman about women. His mother, Lilly, saw to that. He’s not going to be bragging about what happened here today. Your secret is safe.”