Love Songs from a Shallow Grave dp-7

by Colin Cotterill

  "And, for this: Hey! Two Thumbs!" Siri called. He and Civilai hoisted a thumb each. Two Thumbs gave them a two-piece thumbs-up with his left hand. It was his party trick. They never tired of it.

  "Great!" they shouted, and threw back their drinks. They were on their second bottle and it was a wicked brew only two degrees short of toxic. They splashed their feet like children and wondered what diseases might be lurking there in the dirty ground water.

  "I blame the Chinese," Civilai decided.

  "For the rain?"

  "For everything. They're responsible for all our ills."

  "I thought that was the French."

  "Huh, don't talk to me about the French. I hate the French."

  "That's most ungrateful of you. They did educate us."

  "Educate? They certainly didn't educate me. I educated myself, little brother. Like you. We just used their schools and their books…"

  "And their language."

  "And their language, granted. But we used them. We educated ourselves in spite of the French. But the Chinese. They're sneaky bastards. I mean, really sneaky. The French…you have to admire the French."

  "I thought we hated them."

  "Hate? Yes. But you can admire people you hate. I admire their tactics. They steamroll in, shoot everyone, take over and treat us all like dirt. You see? You know where you stand with oppressors like that. But the Chinese? All through the war they were building roads. A damn war going on all around them and they have seven thousand military engineers and sixteen thousand labourers up there in the north building roads."

  "That's good, isn't it?"

  "Good? Good? It's devious, is what it is. You think they were up there building roads so we could move troops?"

  "Yes?"

  "No, sir. They were building roads 'cause they knew one day they'd own us. They were putting in their own infrastructure, damn it."

  "Are you sure you'll be able to drive home?"

  "No problem. The roads are all canals right now. I just wind up the windows and float home. Where was I?"

  "Discussing how to make a good pie dough."

  "Right. Right. So, 'the monstrous plot'. That's what the Vietnamese call it. The monstrous plot. They've got that right. Those Chinks have got their eyes on us. They're carnivores. As soon as the timing's right we'll all be speaking Chinese and eating the sexual organs of endangered animals. You mark my words. And what's all this Voltaire crap?"

  "I suspect you've changed the subject."

  "What do you think you're playing at, quoting Voltaire at a hero interview?"

  "I've chanced upon one or two insightful books. I thought a quotation might help in my self-destruction."

  "Oh, I see. One minute you want to be a hero. Then you don't. A hero has to be decisive, Siri. Into that phone box, on with the tights and the cape. Go for it, I say. Whether or not we deserve it is irrelevant. We either vanish into superfluity or we go down in history. Take your choice."

  "Voltaire said the superfluous is a very necessary thing."

  "You're plucking my nostril hair, aren't you?"

  They raised their thumbs to the proprietor who responded obediently.

  "She did have spectacular lips though, didn't she?" Civilai recalled.

  "They took me back, I tell you."

  They waved at the people two mats away who were celebrating a birthday. The group had a glazed bun with a candle in it. These were frugal times.

  "I probably shouldn't tell you this…" Civilai began.

  "Then don't."

  "They've fixed the projector."

  "At K6?"

  "They got someone in from the Soviet Embassy. Now, there's another sneaky oppressor, the Russian overlords. Damn these subtle invaders. Good electricians though. Said it was a fuse problem. Fixed it in a minute. And…"

  "What?"

  "There's a showing tomorrow afternoon."

  "You weren't going to tell me."

  "It's invitation only. All the big nobs will be there. Half the politburo. I only got a ticket 'cause the foreign minister is in Cuba."

  "What's showing?"

  "Siri, you can't go."

  "What's showing?"

  If there were two greater film buffs in Laos they had yet to surface. Since their school years in Paris, mesmerised by the magic of Clair, Duvivier and Jean Renoir, Siri and Civilai had been addicted to the images on the silver screen. Wherever they happened to be they would seek out a cinematic projection. They could happily sit through anything, from the dullest training film such as last week's The Maintenance of Dykes, to a Hollywood blockbuster with Vietnamese subtitles. The old boys had seen them all. And, most certainly, once the scent of cinema was in Siri's nostrils, there was no way they could keep him out.?

  That annoying song had been playing in his head all the way back but Siri made it home just before the curfew. Across the road on the bank of the Mekhong river, Crazy Rajid, Vientiane's own street Indian, sat beneath a large yellow beach umbrella. He returned Siri's wave. Siri was surprised to find the shutters ajar at the front of their shop. A handwritten sign taped to the shop's doorpost read, "All welcome in our time of sorrow." Siri had known Madame Daeng since long before she became a freedom fighter against the French and a spy for the Pathet Lao. But she and Siri had been married only three months. Both widowed, they had recently found one another and a peculiar magic had entered their lives. Not a day went by without wonder. And this odd situation was certainly a wonder. He looked cautiously inside the shop and found a trail of lit temple candles leading across the floor and climbing the wooden staircase. He smiled, locked the shutters, and began to extinguish the candles one by one. Beyond the contented clucking and cooing of the chickens and the rescued hornbill in the backyard, there was no sound.

  He reached the top balcony and entered their bedroom. Madame Daeng sat all in white at the desk with her head bowed. Her short white hair was an unruly thatch of straw Their bed was illuminated with more candles and surrounded with champa blossoms. He laughed, walked across the room and put his hand on his wife's shoulder but she pulled away.

  "Don't touch me," she said. "I'm in mourning."

  "It's all right. They said I don't have to die right away. They can pencil me in later."

  "I don't believe you. You're the spirit of my heroic dead husband come to taunt me. Be gone with you."

  She waved a lighted incense stick in his direction.

  "You do realise there's something disturbingly erotic about all this, don't you?"

  "You're an ill man, Dr Siri."

  "And you're a most peculiar wife, Madame Daeng. Do I have time for a bath before I'm laid to rest?"

  It was some time around two a.m. when Daeng awoke and sensed that her husband wasn't sleeping. The night clouds had blanketed the stars and moon. Across the river that trolled grimly past the shop, Thailand was enjoying one of its customary power failures. There were no lights skimming across the black surface of the Mekhong. All around them was a darkness so deep it could never be captured in paint. She spoke to her memory of the doctor.

  "Not tired?" she asked.

  She heard the rustle of the pillow when he turned his head.

  "No."

  "That nightmare again?"

  "No, I haven't slept long enough to get into a nightmare with any enthusiasm. Daeng?"

  "Yes?"

  "Do you think I'm hero material?"

  "Of course I do."

  "I mean, seriously."

  "I mean seriously, too."

  "They said I have faults."

  "A hero without faults is like an omelette without little bits of eggshell in it."

  He was silent for a few seconds before, "An omelette with eggshell isn't — "

  "I know," she laughed. "Look. It's the middle of the night. What do you expect? I'll have a better example for you in the morning. But, yes. You're not only hero material, you're already a hero. It doesn't matter what the idiots at Information say."

  "You're right."r />
  "I know."

  They listened to the darkness for a while.

  "Oh, and by the way," Daeng said. "I forgot to mention, Inspector Phosy came by earlier He wants you to get in touch with him. Said it's urgent."

  "Why didn't you tell me that when I was still dressed?"

  "I didn't want you running off and deserting me in my hour of need. Plus, I don't get the feeling it was that type of emergency."

  "What do you…? Oh, you mean the other type."

  "I swear he's turning into a Vietnamese. If it was police business he'd be here banging on the door. But I doubted it was. Everything in his personal life is suddenly urgent."

  "Why on earth does he need to consult me on domestic issues? You were here. Why couldn't he ask you for advice?"

  "He's a man, Siri. You lot still aren't ready to admit in front of a woman that you're clueless."

  "How did I ever make it through seventy-three-point-nine years without you?"

  "I think I got here just in time."

  "I've a good mind to invite you to the cinema tomorrow."

  "We haven't got a cinema."

  "K6. They've fixed the projector There's a film showing in the afternoon. A romance, according to Civilai."

  "And we have tickets?"

  "Not exactly."

  "I rather saw that as a yes or no question."

  "Then, yes."

  2

  THE TRAIN FROM THE XIANG WU IRRIGATION PLANT — THE MOVIE

  Dr Siri and his good lady waltzed in through the double doors with such confidence and aplomb that the quiet usher didn't dare ask to see the tickets they didn't have. There were polite, nostalgic greetings from the old politicians who stood in the side aisles mingling. There wasn't one of them who hadn't tangled with Siri at one time or another, so their offers of, 'We must find some time to get together so our wives can become acquainted' had as much life expectancy as storm ants. The women looked down their noses at Daeng's ankle-length phasin skirt. There was an accepted socialist mid-calf standard these days which supposedly allowed freer movement to labour for the Party. Daeng had refused to cut her beautiful old skirts and, had anyone asked, she would have reminded them you couldn't do much hard labour in a skirt whatever its length.

  Had he been a more diplomatic sort, a man of Siri's calibre would have soared heavenward through the ranks of these old soldiers. A forty-eight-year Communist Party membership and a degree in medicine from Europe had to count for something. But there wasn't a person in the room he hadn't belittled or insulted. A man with no mind to compromise is condemned to sit in the back stalls watching the stars on the screen. So, after a few brief and unnecessary bites at conversation, Siri and Daeng seated themselves in the eighth row chewing on sweet chilli guava and waiting for the show. There was a mumbled comment from the projectionist and the audience, very noisily, took to its seats. Civilai arrived late. As it was impolite to push his way along the rows to an empty place, he accepted a supplementary fold-up chair from the usher and sat to one side. He didn't seem particularly surprised to see Siri and Daeng. Siri casually mentioned to Daeng that their friend had his shirt buttoned incorrectly.

  Although the gathering was missing a president, a prime minister and three politburo members, if a person happened to have anti-communist leanings and a large bomb, this would have been a particularly fruitful place to explode it. The room was a Who's Who of leading cadres, high-ranking officials, ministers, Vietnamese advisors, and foreign ambassadors. Judging from the turnout, it appeared there was a large population of dignitaries starved of entertainment.

  The main feature was a Chinese film entitled The Train from the Xiang Wu Irrigation Plant. The cultural section of the Chinese embassy had gone to a good deal of trouble in first translating, then applying Lao language subtitles to several of their popular films. In a back room, half a dozen Russian-language spectaculars, also with Lao subtitles, lay waiting for their opportunity to bedazzle the Lao leaders. For the cinema fan, being a political ping-pong ball had its benefits.

  The lights were doused and a small window someone had forgotten to board over was quickly patched. The conversations subsided to a mumble. Siri held his breath waiting for that magical sound that announced the coming; the clack, clack, clack of the film through the projector. And there it was. The screen was blasted with light and the film leader numbers began to flash before them. If Civilai had been beside him, they would have counted aloud together, "eight…seven…six."?

  Following what feels like a day and a half of credits, the film finally opens in a busy urban train station. The vast majority of extras milling about on the platforms are in uniform. Everything on the screen is either spearmint-chewing-gum green or stale-tobacco brown. Even the train standing in the station seems to have been spray painted to reflect the green?brown ambiance of the scene. Suddenly, there's a flash of red, a small communist flag rises above the heads of the sombre crowd. We pan down to see a hand clutching the bamboo stick that the flag is attached to. It works its way forward like a bloody shark-fin churning through a green-brown sea. At last we see that holding the flag is a stomach-curdlingly beautiful young lady, Ming Zi, in the uniform of the Chinese People's Revolutionary Army. She anxiously scours the faces of the passengers alighting from the train. A slightly off-key string orchestra is somewhere behind her, lost in the crowd. Her face is a live pallet of clearly recognisable emotions: elation, frustration, false hope, disappointment. Until we finally cut to her alone on a porter's cart. We zoom in to a close-up of the flag on her lap. Tears fall onto it like raindrops, staining it drop by drop — through the magic of special effects — from brilliant red to chewing-gum green. To add insult to her injury, the porter steps up to Ming Zi and reclaims his cart. The brokenhearted girl walks forlornly along the deserted platform as the sun sets in the sky behind her. It is an uncommonly chewing-gum green day in Peking.?

  Siri squeezed Daeng's hand, his eyes already damp with sympathy for his heroine. It promised to be an eleven-tissue movie. But they were barely ten minutes into it when a side door opened and a uniformed Vietnamese entered the theatre. He walked brazenly into the bottom right-hand corner of the screen and stood there like an extra staring into the audience. Some of its members told him to sit down. But he was obviously not interested in the film or the admonitions. He located the person he'd been searching for, pushed along the row and leaned into the ear of a broad man with a tuft-of-grass haircut. By now, all eyes but Siri's and Civilai's were on the drama in silhouette. Ming Zi had been abandoned. The seated man nodded and turned his head to search the audience. The Vietnamese stood to attention mid-row caring not a jot that he was ruining a perfectly good film. But, by now, everyone sensed the urgency of his mission. To Siri's utter dismay, the broad man pointed to the doctor and rose from his seat. The soldier shouted in Vietnamese above the soundtrack, "Doctor, come with us."

  Siri remained in his place, attempting to concentrate on the story on the screen. There was nothing he detested more than not being allowed to watch a film to its natural conclusion. In his mind there was no emergency so great as to deprive a man a cinematic climax. The broad man and the soldier had pushed their way to the far aisle where they both stood looking at the doctor.

  "Doctor Siri," the broad man barked.

  "I think you'd better go," Daeng whispered in Siri's ear.

  "And insult the director?"

  "Well, darling, we're only ten minutes into the film and I'd wager the director's artistic integrity has already been compromised by Chairman Xiaoping. And, besides, it might be a medical emergency."

  Heads were beginning to turn in Siri's direction.

  "Damn it," he snarled. "All right. But I expect a detailed blow-by-blow account of the whole thing later."

  "In colour," she promised. Siri huffed and bobbed and bowed his way to the end of the row.

  He followed the two men precariously across a walkway of wooden planks on bricks that criss-crossed the flooded sports field. The two
men introduced themselves as they walked but neither could be described as friendly. The stout man was called Phoumi, and he was the Lao?Vietnamese head of security at K6. He insisted that he'd met the doctor before but Siri had no recollection. The uniformed Vietnamese officer said his name was Ton Tran Dung and that he was the officer in charge of the Prime Minister's team of bodyguards. Following six assassination attempts, the politburo had decided to assign an elite ten-man Vietnamese army unit on twenty-four-hour watch over the Lao leader. They were supported by a counterpart team of ten Lao People's Liberation Army personnel. Siri had sought out none of this information and wasn't all that interested. His mind was still firmly entrenched in the mystery of how the lovely Ming Zi was ever going to find her lost fiance.

  But, as they walked through the American streets of K6, he soon became enthralled by this small corner of Lao Americana. Forty acres of suburban USA had been plonked down in the middle of rice fields and fenced in to keep out (or, Civilai argued, in) the riff-raff. There was certainly a cultural force field around the place. During the height of the Vietnam War, the United States Agency for International Development had four hundred personnel in Laos, three times that if you counted the CIA, but nobody ever did. Their role was mostly economic, juggling five-hundred million aid dollars. There were some showcase development projects, and seemingly endless refugee relief programmes.

  Over a million Lao had been displaced by the civil war in the north and the royalist ministers, spilling in and out of the rotating door democracy, had been too busy amassing fortunes to find time for actual aid work.

  So, USAID served as a surrogate Ministry of the Interior, and where better to return to after a hard day of running a country than a little slice of the American dream right there in the third world? K6 had its own high school, commissary stables, scout hut, tennis court, and youth club. But most of all, K6 had gardens; neat napkin lawns and pretty flowerbeds and fences around houses that would be perfectly at home in the suburbs of Los Angeles. The christening of K6 had always baffled Siri given that the place had been planned, designed and built by and for Americans. He'd always expected they'd call it Boone City or Tara or Bedford Falls. But no, K6 it had been named and K6 it remained today.