by LeAnn Ashers
“I know, baby, but I hate that it’s kind of my fault all this is happening.”
“Fuck no! This is not your fault. Get that shit out of your head right now. Would you blame Alisha if someone tried to take her and Techy killed him? Or any of the women?”
“No,” I say softly. I would not be mad at them one bit because, honestly, that was one of the most terrifying things that ever happened to me. It hit really close to home, because it was like my old life was happening again.
“Promise me?” he asks.
“I promise, Smiley.” I lean over and kiss him on the cheek; then I rest my head on his shoulder. I close my eyes and drift off to sleep.
An hour later, I wake up to the sound of gunshots. I sit up straight in my seat, and I see that we have all stopped. There are ten SUVs parked across the road, blocking us from going further.
Oh my god.
Smiley has his gun out and is talking on the phone. I hear Lane’s voice over the phone. “What the fuck do you want to do?”
I look in the backseat at Noah; he is still asleep. I fed him when we were waiting for everyone to arrive.
A bullet hits the windshield right in front of me. If the window weren’t bulletproof, I would have been shot.
“I am going to kill every single one of these motherfuckers,” Smiley snarls into the phone, and that’s when they unleash the bullets on us.
More SUVs come out of nowhere. What are they planning? To kill us all? I don’t want the answer to that, in a way.
“They want to fucking play? That is what they are going to get,” Smiley says. “Baby, I am going to crawl out the back window and get on the bike. I am going to take out these fuckers. Get in the back with Noah. Okay?” He grips my face. He puts on his bulletproof vest and helmet. That makes me feel a bit better, but anything can happen.
I am scared for Smiley. I look at the truck next to me and see Bailey in the backseat with Gabby, who is also asleep. Travis is putting on the same gear as Smiley.
Each of the trucks has a crotch rocket in the back; I guess they were preparing for this. Smiley climbs into the backseat, pushes open the back window, and looks at me. “I love you, angel.” He kisses me on the lips before he steps outside.
My heart is hurting so bad. I shut the window and bite back a sob as he climbs on the bike and pushes a button. The metal rack holding the bike in place slams onto the ground, and he drives off. I watch in amazement as, one by one, all of the metal racks hit the ground and the guys take off.
Butcher drives by, shooting a guy standing next to our truck. I gasp. Someone was close to our truck! Smiley zooms past and shoots a man running toward the vehicles. I can’t keep up with all of the men running toward us as our guys take them out left and right. They are moving so fast, I am surprised the shooters can even hit them.
Smiley
I fist bump with Lane as he drives past, and more of these fuckers are running out of the woods. I know the leader of this shit is sitting in one of the SUVs.
They created a fucking road block for us. These fuckers’ stupidity amazes me.
Someone approaches my truck, and I shoot him in the back of the head. No one has touched any of the trucks yet; we are passing every single vehicle in a formation. I am fucking glad the trucks have been reinforced for shit like this.
One by one they hit the ground. There is nothing more motivating than seeing your family right in the middle of danger. This is our fucking worst nightmare come true.
I shoot, shoot, and shoot until no one is left standing and their bodies litter the ground. It’s a fucking massacre.
All that is left is the SUVs blocking our way out, but to my utter fucking shock they just back up and drive away.
“Don’t chase them. We need to get the women and children safe, then we retaliate,” Kyle tells his guys and Lane nods. It goes against every single instinct inside us, but their safety is the most important thing.
That’s when I hear the screaming.
Adeline
Under the dark night sky, the scene is illuminated by headlights, and I watch in utter horror as Brittany is dragged out of a truck. Did she not have her truck locked? I thought our attackers were all dead.
Taking the keys I grab Smiley’s spare gun from the glove compartment and lock the doors as I get out of the truck. I am tired of these stupid people trying to hurt the people I love.
A man is covering Brittany’s mouth, and she is scratching the back of his hand trying to get him to let her go. She is looking around, wide eyed, and I think I am the only person who sees what’s happening. I can feel her fear and panic right down to my core—that is something you never forget—and it’s killing me she is suffering this right now. My motherly instincts are taking over.
As I raise the gun, my hands are steady. She rips his hands free from her mouth, and she steps on his foot and elbows him in the face. Then she screams.
He pales and fumbles with something at his side, reaching for a gun. He lifts it out of his side pocket and points it at Brittany.
No.
I aim and pull the trigger, and he hits the ground.
Brittany runs toward me, and I stare in shock at the gun I just shot. “Adeline,” she sobs, and that breaks me out of it instantly. She runs into my arms; then we are surrounded by everyone.
“Adeline,” Smiley says as he wraps his arms around me and takes the gun. “Are you okay?” His hands run over my body, checking to make sure I am not hurt. I nod. “I am fine. I saw him take her out of the truck.”
“Damn, Gigi, remind me not to mess with you,” Wilder says and I laugh. Techy walks over, making sure I am okay.
I smile widely. “What can I say? Don’t mess with my kids.”
Everyone laughs, and we all get back in our vehicles. The prospects are moving the bodies out of the road, and the kids are in the backseats with blankets covering the windows so they can’t see anything.
Noah is crying in the backseat; I reach behind and put a paci in his mouth. This has been hell. The fear of something happening to one of them is still real, and I am aching on the inside. It was painful watching Smiley drive off into the fray, but it’s awe-inspiring that they will go to such lengths to protect their families.
“Damn, baby.” Smiley looks shocked.
I laugh because, honestly, I didn’t even know I had it in me, but I didn’t want anyone that I cared about to be hurt again. It felt amazing, because I was able to protect someone and do what I needed to do. Brittany wasn’t going to be taken.
“I watched her get dragged out of the truck,” I whisper, looking out the window as we drive down the road, trying to ignore all the bodies littering the ground. It’s crazy to me that so many people came out to kill us. They came with one mission in mind, and that was to kill us.
“Baby, hey.” Smiley intertwines his hand with mine and smiles at me sweetly. “What is going through your head?”
I lick my lips, pondering what to say. It feels like so much has happened in these few short hours. “I hate that I took a life, but I don’t feel guilty. He was going to kill her, or do god knows what to her.”
Smiley kisses the back of my hand. “You did the right thing, baby. The fucker must have been hiding.”
“He literally just came out of nowhere. I think she was getting out of the truck...” I stop, thinking of the pure terror on her face. “He dragged her out by her hair.”
“She will be fine, baby. Derek has her.”
I laugh because I did see Derek swoop her up and carry her back to his truck. “I bet that woke him up.”
Smiley grins. “I bet it did.”
We sit in silence, both of us just digesting what has happened. We stop in front of a huge gate, and Lane presses buttons on a small column. The gate swings open and, one by one, we drive up the driveway, which has to be at least a mile long. Trees surround the driveway, and leaves cover the road. All of a sudden the house pops into view. It
is a mansion! We won’t have any trouble putting everyone up here, that is for sure.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?”
I am speechless. We park and I stare in awe at the house, lights illuminating it. It looks a lot like the White House.
One by one everyone pulls into the parking lot. Matthew, our tech guy, stands in front of the house and has his iPad out. I hear the gate locking, then the low hum of the fence being electrified.
Smiley gets out of the truck, helps me out, and takes Noah out of his seat. He hands Noah to me and grabs some bags.
“Come on, everyone, make yourself at home.” Lane waves everyone toward the house. We have all been staring in awe. We walk up the steps, Lane opens the door, and we step inside. The inside is just as grand as the rest of the house.
“There are ten apartments here, plus other rooms. The people with kids can take the apartments. Each one includes several bedrooms, a kitchen, and a living room. Everyone else can just take whatever room they want.” Lane yells loudly to make sure everyone hears.
“Come on, baby.” Smiley nods toward a hallway. I follow him, exhausted. It’s around midnight at this point, and I know everyone is exhausted.
Smiley pushes open a door; I guess this is one of the apartments. We walk into a living room, and the kitchen and bedrooms are off to the side. One of the doors must lead to the bathroom.
Smiley sets the bags on the floor. I am going to get the rest of our stuff. “I am going to go see Alisha and make sure she is okay,” I tell him, yawning.
“Okay, sweet girl.” He kisses my forehead and runs his hand down Noah’s back. “Take care of Momma, son.”
I am not sure how my heart has not exploded. He does and says stuff like this every day of my life. I just fall more and more in love with him. He is something out of a romance book. I didn’t know he existed, but here he is. He walks out of the room, and I follow him with Noah still asleep in my arms.
People are walking in the hallways, bringing their stuff in, and Lane is showing them where to go. Alisha pops into view, holding one of my grandbabies. “How are you, honey?” I ask her, hugging her with one arm since Noah is tucked in the other.
She smiles. She is so beautiful, and she is just as beautiful on the inside. It still amazes me she turned out this way after such a fucked-up childhood. I think that I will feel guilt for the rest of my life, but I am not letting it consume my life like it used to. I was just as much as a victim. The way I grew up and the abuse I suffered was intense. I did try to leave, and I suffered for it for years and years. I am glad, in a way, that I don’t remember everything.
For the first time in my life, I feel content and at peace. I am happy, so blissfully happy, that sometimes I can’t sit still because I am filled to the brim with it.
Smiley has completely changed my life. He showed me that I deserve love and happiness. He gave me hope when I had none and felt like I was drowning. He loved me, he pushed me out of my comfort zone, and he showed me the way a woman should be treated.
It amazes me that he was my first in so many ways. He was not my first sexual experience, but he was the first that meant something to me.
He has protected me. He doesn’t just protect me physically; he keeps my heart and soul safe.
I think back to when I let out everything that happened. He taught me not to be ashamed of what had happened to me, but to grow from it and not let it dictate my life. He gave me strength to face my fears. He encourages me to do things I never thought I would, and I know that he will be with me through it all.
I think back to when I walked out of that house, scared out of my mind because I was showing the Devils my back. He made me feel beautiful in my skin; he makes me feel like I am the most beautiful woman on Earth. I accepted my scars because they are who I am; they show the pain and suffering I went through but, in the end, look at me. Look at me now. Tears fill my eyes as I take in the sight of my family and my babies. I have all of this.
I never expected to have this, but look at everything I am and have. I have a family. I have a son who I never expected to have. I always wanted to be a mom and to be part of a family, and all I had to do was let them in.
All of this hits me at once. And I am no longer so damaged and afraid I have to sleep in my bathtub. Not anymore. I killed a man trying to hurt my family.
I have taken back control of my life, and it’s something I will never be able to fully explain. It’s like I was stuck underwater for so long and, for the first time in twenty years, I can breathe.
I can breathe, I can live, I can be a mom, I can live my dreams and have everything I wanted in life. I can be with my daughter. I can have it all.
I do have it all.
“Ready to go to bed, sweet girl?” Smiley breaks me out of my thoughts. I nod, smiling, and—clutching Noah in the crook of my arm—I take his hand and we walk to our apartment. You couldn’t take the smile off my face no matter how hard you tried.
After we put Noah to bed, Smiley looks at me. “What has you so happy?” he asks.
“You, my family, just everything. I never thought that all this would happen, and I never dreamed that I would have this life. Every single day it’s like I am floating on air, and I have to thank you for pushing me to be this person.” Tears roll down my face. “I was drowning, Smiley. I slept in my bathtub because I was so scared and then, when I killed the person trying to hurt Brittany, I realized how much I have changed.” I wipe the tears from my cheeks. “My old life no longer controls me, I control myself, and I am so happy.” I step closer, resting my hand on his cheek. “I love you so much.”
He puts his head in the crook of my neck, kissing me, and pulls me to his chest. “You are so fucking strong. I saw that from the moment I met you, and I am so proud of you. All I ever wanted was to protect you and give you the fucking world.” He pulls back, looking me straight in the eye. “You’re the one who gave me the world.”
“I love you,” I whisper, smiling.
“I love you, sweet girl.”
Smiley
The Next Day
I go back to the town where Adeline grew up. It’s time to finally end this, once and for all. I watched her transform; each day she became more and more confident, the fear in her eyes slowly slipping away. She has come so far from the woman I met. She was beautiful then, but now? There are no words for her.
The way she is with Noah, the way she loves him so much and takes care of him. She loves with her whole heart; that is something that I will protect at all costs.
It fucking killed me to see her cry, struggle, and push herself, but seeing her now, it was all worth it because she is so fucking strong.
I wanted to wrap her up and keep her hidden, but I wanted her to see the outside world. At the same time, I was there for her as she explored the world, protecting her from danger.
When fucking Randall found her in the baby store and waved at her, I was worried that she’d withdraw again. But she didn’t. She held her head up high and went on with her life. That was a huge moment of realization for me, but I knew she didn’t see how far she had come.
Last night it hit her, and I am so fucking proud of her.
I love her with all of my heart. I never thought loving someone this much was even possible, but I do. Every single day I find something that makes me fall for her even more. The way she smiles and laughs and the way she just wants to take care of everyone. If she only knew how much people admire and look up to her. The kids worship the ground she walks on. She has this vibe about her, and just being in her presence is comforting.
Randall’s trailer comes into view, and I park my bike in front of his house. Randall opens his door, peeks out, and slams it shut the second he sees me. I walk across his front yard and up the steps, and I kick his door in. He is sitting on the couch, still wearing the same clothes he had on the other day. Fucking sickening, pathetic.
This is last of her fucking demons. One by one I
took the others out.
“I won’t bother her again, I promise,” he pleads.
I point my gun at him, hate swirling inside me. “Pleading with me will get you nowhere. You fucking made her suffer for years, and you think I will just let you go?”
He looks up at me, his face pale because he knows this will be the end. His shoulders are hunched over in defeat.
“I am sorry, she is the prettiest woman around here.”
Like that makes it fucking better. “I want you to see something. I want you to see the woman you made suffer every single day of her life for a little bit of money. You are fucking nobody, but she came out of it and she is somebody.”
I take out my phone and play a video of her holding Noah, rocking him to sleep. She looks up at me, as I’m holding the camera, smiling, “Are you recording me?” her sweet voice asks.
“Yeah,” I answer.
She laughs, her beautiful laugh—even right now—lifting my heart.
“I love you.” She smiles at the camera.
“I love you too, Momma.” When she hears her new nickname, her smile widens.
I play another video with her on the floor, playing with all of the kids. In this moment I can see her pure joy at being with them. They are all singing her a song, “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.” Once they are finished, she hugs and kisses every single one of them, giving them all the same amount of attention.
The last video is with me and her together. She is staring out into the field behind our house with me at her back.
I put the phone in my pocket. I look at Randall, who is staring at the spot where my phone was. A minute later he finally looks at me. “I am a piece of shit,” he whispers as the realization of what he has done breaks through.
I raise my gun, and he has a fucking haunted look in his eyes because he knows he is going to hell. I pull the trigger and he falls off the couch.