Tales of the Dying Earth

by Jack Vance

  "Certainly," said Zilifant. "To the precise measure in which he befriended my harquisade. I declare Rhialto guilty of a felony!"

  Again Hache-Moncour shook his head. "I find it hard to credit."

  Zilifant swung about in a passion. "Have a care! Even in your quixotic advocacy of this scoundrel, I will not have my veracity assailed!"

  "You misunderstood me!" stated Hache-Moncour. "I then spoke for myself, in wonder at Rhialto's callous acts."

  "Ah, then! We are agreed."

  Others of the group cited grievances which Ildefonse noted upon a bill of particulars. At last all had declared themselves, and Ildefonse, in looking down the list, frowned in perplexity. "Amazing how one like Rhialto could live so long among us and never be exposed! Hache-Moncour, do you have anything more to say?"

  "Merely a pro forma appeal for mercy."

  "The appeal has been heard," said Ildefonse. "We shall now vote. Those who endorse Rhialto's conduct and find him blameless, raise their hands."

  Not a hand could be seen.

  "Those convinced of Rhialto's guilt?"

  All hands were raised.

  Ildefonse cleared his throat. "It now becomes my duty to assess the penalty. I must say that Rhialto's absence makes our sad task somewhat easier. Are there any suggestions?"

  Byzant said: "I feel that each of us, in the order that we sit at the table, starting with myself, shall be numerated. We will then go to Falu and there, in order of number, select among Rhialto's goods until no one wishes to make a further choice."

  Ao of the Opals concurred. "The idea is essentially sound. But the numeration must be made by lot, with a monitor against all spells of temporal stasis."

  The system suggested by Ao was eventually put into effect, and all repaired to Falu. Frole the major-domo stepped forward and in an authoritative voice inquired what might be the business of so large a company. "You must know that Rhialto is absent! Come again when he can receive you with suitable ceremony."

  Ildefonse began a legalistic declamation but Gilgad, impatient with words, cast a spell of inanition upon Frole, and the magicians, entering Falu, set about enforcing the penalties which had been levied at the conclave.

  The irascible Hurtiancz was especially anxious to find Rhialto's IOUN stones, and sought everywhere, to no avail. A document indited in blue ink on blue paper and cased in a frame of blue gold hung on the wall; certain that he had discovered Rhialto's secret hiding place, Hurtiancz impatiently tore the document from the wall and threw it aside, to reveal only the vacant wall, and it was Ildefonse himself who discovered the IOUN stones where they hung among the crystals of a chandelier.

  The fine at last was levied in total degree, though not to the satisfaction of those who had been allotted high numbers, nor those who had been slow in pre-empting goods without reference to the numbers. Ildefonse used all his influence to dampen the claims and accusations, meanwhile defending his own retention of the IOUN stones, by reason of service and selfless rectitude.

  At last the magicians went their ways, satisfied that justice had been done.

  3

  In due season Rhialto returned to Falu. His first intimation that all was not as it should be was the sight of Frole standing stiff before the doorway, frozen in a posture of admonition; then, entering the manse, Rhialto took wrathful note of the depredation.

  Returning to the doorway, Rhialto dissolved the spell which had held Frole immobile through night and day, rain and shine.

  Frole took a cup of tea and a slice of currant cake, after which he was able to report to Rhialto those circumstances which had come under his purview.

  Rhialto grimly restored order to the premises, then made an inventory of his losses and damages. They reduced his powers to a low level.

  For a period Rhialto paced back and forth beside Wilda Water. At last, with no better program suggesting itself, he donned a pair of old air-boots which had been left behind and made his way to Boumer-garth.

  Pryffwyd, Ildefonse's chamberlain, met him at the door.

  "Your wishes, sir?"

  "You may inform Ildefonse that Rhialto is here to consult with him."

  "Sir, Lord Ildefonse is preoccupied with matters of importance and will be unable to receive visitors today or at any time in the near future."

  Rhialto brought forth a small red disk and, clasping it between his hands, began to chant a set of rhythmic syllables. In sudden concern Pryffwyd asked: "What are you doing?"

  "Pryffwyd, your vision is dim; you do not recognize me for Rhialto. I am working to place your eyeballs at the end of foot-long stalks. You will soon be able to see in all directions at once."

  Pryffwyd's voice instantly changed. "Ah! The noble Lord Rhialto! I now see you perfectly in every phase! This way, if you will! Lord Ildefonse is meditating in the herb-garden."

  Rhialto found Ildefonse dozing in the slanting red rays of the afternoon sunlight. Rhialto clapped his hands together. "Ildefonse, rouse from your torpor! Vile deeds have been done at Falu; I am anxious to hear your explanation."

  Ildefonse turned a glance of reproach upon Pryffwyd, who merely bowed and asked: "Will there be anything else, sir?"

  Ildefonse sighed. "You may serve refreshments, of a light nature, as Rhialto's business will not take us long and he will very shortly be leaving."

  "To the contrary!" said Rhialto. "I will be here for an indefinite period. Pryffwyd, serve the best your pantry affords!"

  Ildefonse heaved himself up in his chair. "Rhialto, you are taking a high-handed line with my chamberlain and, since we have gone so far, with my refreshments as well!"

  "No matter. Explain why you robbed me of my goods. My man Frole tells me that you marched in the forefront of the thieves."

  Ildefonse pounded the table with his fist. "Specious and egregious! Frole has misrepresented the facts!"

  "How do you explain these remarkable events, which of course I intend to place before the Adjudicator?"4

  Ildefonse blinked and blew out his cheeks. "That of course is at your option. Still, you should be aware that legality was observed in every bound and degree. You were charged with certain offenses, the evidence was closely examined and your guilt was ascertained only after diligent deliberation. Through the efforts of myself and Hache-Moncour, the penalty became a small and largely symbolic levy upon your goods."

  " 'Symbolic'?" cried Rhialto. "You picked me clean!"

  Ildefonse pursed his lips. "I concede that at times I noticed a certain lack of restraint, at which I personally protested."

  Rhialto, leaning back in his chair, drew a deep sigh of dumbfounded wonder. He considered Ildefonse down the length of his aristocratic nose. In a gentle voice he asked: "The charges were brought by whom?"

  Ildefonse frowned thoughtfully. "By many. Gilgad declared that you had beaten his pet simiode."

  "Aha. Continue."

  "Zilifant charged that your reckless deployment of plasms had destroyed his fine hardquisade tree."

  "And further?"

  "The complaints are too numerous to mention. Almost everyone— save myself and the loyal Hache-Moncour—preferred charges. Then, the conclave of your peers with near-unanimity adjudged you guilty on all counts."

  "And who robbed me of my IOUN stones?"

  "As a matter of fact, I myself took them into protective custody."

  "This trial was conducted by exact legal process?"

  Ildefonse took occasion to drink down a goblet of the wine which Pryffwyd had served. "Ah yes, your question! It pertained, I believe, to legality. In response, I will say that the trial, while somewhat informal, was conducted by appropriate and practical means."

  "In full accordance with the terms of the Monstrament?"

  "Yes, of course. Is that not the proper way? Now then—"

  "Why was I not notified and allowed an opportunity for rebuttal?"

  "I believe that the subject might well have been discussed," said Ildefonse. "As I recall, no one wished to disturb you on
your holiday, especially since your guilt was generally conceded."

  Rhialto rose to his feet. "Shall we now visit Fader's Waft?"

  Ildefonse raised his hand in a bluff gesture. "Seat yourself, Rhialto! Here comes Pryffwyd with further refreshment; let us drink wine and consider this matter dispassionately; is not that the better way, after all?"

  "When I have been vilified, slandered and robbed, by those who had previously shone upon me the sweetest rays of their undying friendship? I had never—"

  Ildefonse broke into the flow of Rhialto's remarks. "Yes, yes; perhaps there were procedural errors, but never forget, the findings might have gone worse but for the efforts of myself and Hache-Moncour."

  "Indeed?" asked Rhialto coldly. "You are familiar with the Blue Principles?"

  "I am generally aware of the important passages," declared IIdefense bluffly. ' 'As for the more abstruse sections, I may be a trifle dim, but these in any event do not apply."

  "Indeed?" Rhialto brought out a torn blue document. "I will read from Paragraph C, of the 'Precursive Manifesto':

  " The Monstrament, like a perdurable edifice, depends on integrated blocks of wisdom, each supporting others with bonds of equal strength. He who maximizes the solemnity of certain passages and demeans another as trivial or paltry for the sake of his special pleading is guilty of subversion and submulgery, and shall be punished as directed by Schedule B, Section 3.' "

  Ildefonse blinked. "My present remarks are truly no more than badinage."

  "In that case, why did you not testify that at the time Gilgad's beast was abused, you and I were walking beside the River Scaum?"

  "That is a good question. In sheer point of fact, I acted on grounds of procedural effect."

  "How so?"

  "Simple enough! The question: 'Did you walk with Rhialto by the River Scaum at the exact time Gilgad's simiode was beaten?' was never asked. By the rules of jurisprudence I could not properly introduce such evidence. Secondly, you already had been convicted on a number of other counts, and my remarks would only have caused confusion."

  "Should not truth be known? Did you not ask yourself who in fact had beaten the beast, and why he identified himself as 'Rhialto'?"

  Ildefonse cleared his throat. "Under the circumstances, as I have explained them, such questions are nuncupatory."

  Rhialto consulted the torn copy of the Blue Principles. "Paragraph K of Section 2 would seem to describe your act as 'enhanced dereliction.' A harsh penalty—possibly too harsh—is specified, but the Adjudicator will read justice as it is written and apply the strictures to calm and thorough effect."

  Ildefonse held up his hands. "Will you take so trivial an affair to Fader's Waft? The consequences are beyond calculation!"

  "I will cite a third offense. In the looting of Falu, my copy of the Blue Principles was seized, torn and hurled to the ground. In this deed, which is precisely proscribed under Paragraph A: 'Treasonable Acts,' all conspirators share the guilt, and all must pay the penalty. This is far from a 'trivial affair'! I thought that you might share my indignation, and work for restitution and punishment of the guilty, but—"

  "Your hopes have been validated!" cried Ildefonse. "I was on the verge of convoking a new conclave, to review the findings of the last session, which now seem to have been guided by emotion. Have patience! The Adjudicator need not be distracted from his passivity."

  "Convene the conclave as of this instant! Declare at the outset that I am innocent of all charges, that I have suffered inexcusable wrongs, that I demand not only restitution but multiple damages—"

  Ildefonse cried out in shock. "That is an irrational penalty!"

  Rhialto said stonily: "As Preceptor this is your decision to make. Otherwise the Adjudicator must assess the penalties."

  Ildefonse sighed. "I will call the conclave."

  "Announce that only two issues will be considered: first, restitution and the imposition of fines, ranging from three-fold to five-fold, and I will hear neither bluster nor obfuscation; and secondly, identification of the malefactor."

  Ildefonse grumbled something under his breath, but Rhialto paid no heed. "Convone the conclave! Accept no excuses! All must be present, as I am an exasperated man!"

  Ildefonse put on an air of forlorn good cheer. "All may yet be well. First I will communicate with your only true ally, other than myself."

  "You refer to whom?"

  "Hache-Moncour, naturally! We will take his advice at once."

  Ildefonse went to a table, where he placed the semblance of Hache-Moncour's face over a pair of orifices shaped to represent an ear and a mouth. "Hache-Moncour, Ildefonse speaks into your ear! I bring significant news! Speak with your mouth!"

  "Ildefonse, I speak! What is your news?"

  "Rhialto the Marvellous has come to Boumergarth! His mood is one of doubt and malaise. He feels that the conclave made several legalistic mistakes which tend to vitiate its findings; indeed, he demands triple damages from all parties concerned. Otherwise he threatens to take his case to the Adjudicator."

  "A great mistake," said the mouth. "An act of reckless despair."

  "So I have advised him, but Rhialto is an obstinate man."

  The mouth spoke: "Can you not reason with him? Is he quite inflexible?"

  "He yields by not so much as the twitch of an eyelash, and only speaks in tedious repetition of the Monstrament and the imposition of penalties. He seems obsessively convinced that a malefactor—"

  Rhialto called out: "Speak more tersely, if you will; my time is valuable! Merely convene the conclave; you need not describe my troubled spirit in such sardonic detail."

  Ildefonse angrily threw nineteen semblances down upon his communication device. He put a clamp upon the mouth to impede protests and questions, then, speaking out into nineteen ears at once, he ordered an immediate conclave at Boumergarth.

  4

  The magicians one by one took their places in the Grand Saloon. Hache-Moncour was the last to arrive. Before seating himself he spoke a few quiet words to Herark the Harbinger, with whom he was on good terms.

  Rhialto, leaning against a wood-paneled wall to the side, somberly watched the arrival of his erstwhile colleagues. None save Hache-Moncour, who gave him a polite bow, so much as looked in his direction.

  Ildefonse convened the meeting in his usual manner, then glanced sidelong toward Rhialto, who maintained his silence. Ildefonse coughed and cleared his throat. "I will come directly to the point. Rhialto claims an unjust confiscation of his property. He demands restitution and punitive damages; failing satisfaction, he states that he will take his case to the Adjudicator. There, in a nut-shell, is the gist of our business today."

  Gilgad sprang to his feet, face purple with rage. ' 'Rhialto's posture is grotesque! How can he deny his crime? He beat poor Boodis and tethered him among nettles: a vile and heartless act! I declared as much before; I do so now, and will never revoke the charge!"

  "I did not beat your beast," said Rhialto.

  "Ha ha! Easy for you to say! Can you prove as much?"

  "Certainly. I was walking with Ildefonse beside the River Scaum at the time of the incident."

  Gilgad whirled upon Ildefonse. "Is this true?"

  Ildefonse made a sour face. "It is true, in every particular."

  "Then why did you not say so before?"

  "I did not want to confuse a case already turbulent with emotion."

  "Most peculiar." With a set face Gilgad resumed his seat, but Zilifant immediately sprang erect. "Nonetheless and undeniably, Rhialto destroyed my harquisade tree with his floating plasm and left a horrid stench about the premises; further, so the rumor goes, he

  boasted of his accuracy, and imputed the source of the odor to me, Zilifant!"

  "I did nothing of the sort," said Rhialto.

  "Bah! The evidence is clear, straightforward and unambiguous!"

  "Is it, indeed? Mune the Mage and Perdustin were both present at Falu during the experiment. They saw me create
four lumes of plasm. One drifted through my delicate silvanissa tendrils, doing no harm. Mune walked through another and failed to complain of odor. We watched all four lumes dwindle to sparks and die. None escaped; none departed the area adjacent to Falu."

  Zilifant looked uncertainly from Mune the Mage to Perdustin. "Are these allegations accurate?"

  "In a word: yes," said Mune the Mage.

  "Why did you not so inform me?"

  "Since Rhialto was guilty of other offenses, it seemed unimportant."

  "Not to me," said Rhialto.