The Golden Thread

by Monica Carly

  ‘That’s a ridiculously long name for such a tiny kitten. How can I possibly call him, with a name like that?’

  ‘Just call him Archie. He will happily answer to the shortened version. Seriously though, you are free to decide whether you want to keep him or not. I can take him back to the pet shop if you’d rather not.’

  ‘Don’t you dare! I couldn’t possibly let him go now. I wasn’t going to have another cat, but now he’s here – well, I just couldn’t bear it if you took him back.’

  The kitten clung determinedly to his position of security and began to purr contentedly.

  Fran smiled. ‘Glad you like him. He certainly seems to like you.’

  ‘Oh, Fran! I think he’s wonderful. Thank you so much for your thoughtfulness. Whatever would I do without you?’

  Archie had quickly settled into his new home, appropriating the chair left vacant by Socrates. At the sound of the doorbell, he looked up enquiringly. Claudia was careful to shut the lounge door behind her before opening the front door.

  On the doorstep stood a tall, dark-haired young man, with a pleasant smile and something vaguely familiar about him. Was it the piercing look in his blue eyes? There was no time to think.

  ‘Miss Claudia Hansom?’

  ‘Yes – what is it you want?’

  ‘I’d like to have a word with you, if I may.’

  ‘Why is that? I don’t know you.’

  He reached into his jacket pocket and took out a business card. She glanced at it briefly without taking it in, only noting the word ‘Solicitor’ and some company details before handing it back.

  ‘My name is Timothy, and I’m a solicitor,’ the young man explained. ‘Do you think I might come in for a few minutes?’

  ‘Timothy what?’

  ‘If I could just come in for a moment.’

  She led the way through to the lounge, pointing to the armchair normally reserved for visitors. At the sound of the intrusion Archie shot off his chair onto Claudia’s lap, from where he climbed up to his favourite position on her shoulder, regarding the stranger with a look of distrust. Claudia removed him, putting him firmly back on his chair. Archie, who was clearly not pleased at having his wishes thwarted, managed to convey in a single look both dissatisfaction with the arrangement and disdain for the intruder.

  ‘What a delightful kitten! How old is he?’

  ‘Never mind that. Just tell me your business.’

  ‘Miss Hansom, I have come on behalf of my mother – you see, I’m your nephew. My mother is your sister, Maria.’

  ‘Then you have gained entry into my flat under false pretences. I think you had better leave, immediately.’

  ‘Please, just hear me out. I have a particular reason for coming at this time. I know that you and my mother have been out of contact for many years. It has now become very important to her to see you, and I’ve come to ask if you would grant her this request.’

  ‘I haven’t seen or spoken to your mother for forty years.’

  ‘I know that is so – she has told me.’

  ‘Then why should I see her now?’

  ‘She is desperately sad about the lack of communication between you, and the fact that it has gone on for so long.’

  ‘And has she ever told you why we have been estranged?’

  ‘She has often spoken of the times when you were a happy family, and of the events that caused everything to go wrong. But I fully appreciate that I only have my mother’s side of the story, and that I may not know everything that happened.’

  ‘You won’t know everything because Maria will not have told you the story accurately – she always was one for rewriting history. In any case, she will not be able to see things from my point of view. Don’t forget that I once knew her very well, and was only too aware of her weaknesses. She never could see beyond her own nose.’

  Timothy winced slightly, but knew nothing was to be gained from becoming confrontational. He continued to speak in a reasonable tone.

  ‘Then please tell me. I promise you I’ll remain impartial – that’s the benefit of having a solicitor’s training.’

  ‘How can you possibly be impartial when it’s your mother I’m talking about? And in any case, how can you, as a young man, ever have any inkling of how a woman can suffer? You cannot know how it feels to have your hopes and dreams torn away from you. You can have no idea of the kind of life I was condemned to live. Yes, I made a good career for myself professionally. I worked my way into a position of authority – but I did not gain the respect of my colleagues. I knew they sniggered behind my back. Because I had to go through life walling in any emotions, because I dared not let anyone close enough to see the chinks, I had to remain cold and aloof. I was excluded from any social gathering that was held – after all, I would have spoilt the atmosphere. I was treated as a necessity because I held the reins, but not as a human being. They considered me some sort of freak – someone to be slightly pitied, who was best dealt with by making snide allusions. I know they poked fun at me behind my back. I couldn’t have felt more different from everyone else if I had had some sort of physical deformity.’

  ‘I see,’ said Timothy quietly. There was a look of pain in his eyes.

  ‘Of course you don’t! What can you understand? I expect Maria told you I was mistaken in thinking Stefano wanted to marry me. If only she hadn’t insisted on coming into the picture. It was all her fault – she flirted with him abominably, until she had attracted him and turned him away from me.’

  ‘It may be as you say, but I am asking you to take pity on her now. I have a particular reason for coming, as I mentioned. My mother now has a terminal illness – leukaemia – and hasn’t much longer to live. She wants to see you before … well, before it’s too late.’

  ‘So that’s it! I might have guessed there’d be some sort of emotional blackmail behind the request. How like Maria to play out the final scene as if it were high drama. So, she’s weak and helpless, and wants to make everything right before she meets her maker – is that it? What about all those years when she had a family life, and I had no one? I heard there was a child, very early on – my father wrote something about it, I remember. I didn’t dwell on the letter – as soon as I saw the word “baby” I tore it up, but I think things have been pretty cosy for my younger sister.’

  ‘Perhaps not quite as cosy as you may think. My elder brother, Carlo, was killed in the Falklands War. My father never got over that. He frequently got drunk, and became violent and abusive. In the end he left.’

  ‘Please don’t tell me any more.’ Claudia put her hands over her ears. ‘I don’t want to hear it. Don’t say any more.’

  Timothy leaned forward.

  ‘I implore you, I beg you, for the sake of the love that once existed between you and my mother, please try to put the past behind you and grant the wishes of your dying sister. I know that once you and she were close. She has recounted much of the early days to me. I know that as children you were the best of playmates, and when your mother died at an early age you assumed much of the responsibility. She has told me she doesn’t know what she would have done without you. She admits she didn’t take life very seriously, but you were always there to help and advise. She looked up to you and valued you as her older sister. Now she longs to see you again. If she has hurt you in the past she regrets that bitterly.’

  ‘If! There’s no doubt about her having hurt me. And hasn’t she left it a bit late to regret it now, almost forty years after the event?’

  ‘I don’t think that’s altogether fair. She tried to contact you many times in the first few years. She wrote often, but her letters were never answered. She was dreadfully upset and totally bewildered by your refusal to respond.’

  ‘I see no point in prolonging this conversation. We have no more to say to each other. I must ask you to go now, please.’

  Claudia stood up. Timothy stood up also, then hesitated.

  ‘
Please,’ he said, ‘Aunt Claudia …’

  ‘Don’t call me that! How dare you!’

  He turned and walked to the door. This time he was ahead of her, and even in her state of churning emotions, Claudia noticed that he walked with a slight limp. He had reached the door, and was stepping through it. For some reason her attention was drawn to his feet. She saw that the backs of his shoes were different – the left heel was higher than the right one.

  Where had she heard something about that before? Someone who could glide through the water, but on land walked awkwardly? Into her seething mind came a vision of a deserted beach, with a rough sea, and Fran, her beloved Fran, threatened by rolling waves, fighting for her life.

  She ran out of the house and down the path.

  ‘Timothy!’ she shouted. ‘Stop! Wait!’

  But he had climbed into his car, her words drowned by the engine springing into life. He eased the car into gear and drove away.

  Claudia turned back into her house. The roar of thundering waters pounded in her ears. Waves of emotion crashed around her, threatening to engulf her. She staggered back to her chair, cries of pain forcing their way to the surface.

  Then she noticed, on the chair where Timothy had been sitting, a small white card. She picked it up. There was his name, Timothy Volpe, and his business details. She turned it over. On the back, handwritten, there was a telephone number.

  Chapter 44

  Claudia tapped gently on the lounge door. The middle-aged nurse who had answered her ring on the front door bell had shown her where to go.

  ‘She has a bed downstairs now. It means she can be with her family when they are there, but she can sleep whenever she wants. Please don’t stay too long – she gets very tired.’

  A voice, barely audible, called, ‘Come in.’

  The voice did not sound like the Maria she remembered. Her heart beating loudly, she turned the handle. There, propped up on pillows, was a small, frail figure. Gone was the shining, golden hair – in its place a sparse layer of wispy grey strands. Gone was the youthful, clear complexion. Instead, a wrinkled skin and sunken eyes met Claudia’s gaze.

  Maria held out two arms – surely no thicker than twigs. Claudia ran across the room and clasped the thin body in a strong embrace.

  ‘Oh, Maria! Please, please forgive me!’

  ‘Oh, never mind any of that. It’s enough that you are here.’

  Suddenly this unfamiliar person was her sister Maria again. For some time neither could say a word. The tears flowed freely.

  At last Maria spoke. ‘I think we could both use some tissues.’

  They helped themselves from the box and mopped their faces.

  ‘Oh Maria, I’ve been a stubborn, obstinate, obdurate old woman. I’m so very sorry.’

  ‘If you’re going to start that again we shall need some more tissues. At least you’re still recognisable. Grey hair, maybe, but you’re still the Claudia I remember. And before you try and say it, I know I do not resemble the old Maria in the slightest. I don’t look in the mirror these days, if I can help it.’

  ‘When did you become so ill?’

  ‘About three years ago. I was diagnosed with leukaemia. I’ve undergone various sorts of treatment, and I tried to believe I could fight it, but recently it became clear that I am losing the battle. But don’t worry about that now. I think we’ve got a bit of catching up to do, don’t you?’

  ‘About forty years’ worth.’

  ‘How did it happen? How was it that we fell out? Claudia, I really want to know how it all went wrong. I’ve missed you so much!’

  ‘Are you sure you’re strong enough? The nurse said I mustn’t tire you.’

  ‘Never mind that dragon – she’s all fire and brimstone – but she means well, and she does look after me beautifully, I have to admit. Timothy insists I have a nurse here all the time, while he and Nicky are at work – they work in the same office. Sometimes they take half a day off, at different times, so that they can be with me. Isn’t that sweet?’

  ‘Who’s Nicky?’

  ‘Timothy’s wonderful fiancée. She is so lovely, and so beautiful. You must meet her soon. But come on, Dragon Drake will be driving you away before we’ve got going. You start.’

  ‘Maria, do you remember my college summer ball – the one I went to just before my final exams?’

  ‘Yes, I do. It made quite an impression on me, because you didn’t normally do things like that. You were so serious about your studies – I could never understand that! I couldn’t have cared less about mine. I was the one who liked all the fun things. But I do remember that when you had started teaching Stefano English, you asked him to go as your escort.’

  ‘That’s right, and I got very excited about it because he was so handsome, and I knew the other students would envy me for having such a handsome man as my partner. I found this lovely ball gown in a charity shop, and when Stefano came, looking like a film star, I was bowled over. I don’t have to tell you how charming he can be. He was wonderful company, and we danced into the night.’

  She fell silent. Maria prompted her. ‘Go on, tell me. Don’t try to spare me anything.’

  ‘In the early hours of the morning we went for a walk in the moonlight along the river bank. There was no one around, and the path was surrounded by plenty of trees and long grass. Oh, Maria, he made love to me, and I’d never dreamed of anything like that before. Then he proposed.’

  Maria gasped. ‘Are you sure? When Dad told me that you claimed he had asked you to marry him I couldn’t believe it. Don’t get me wrong – not because of you, but because of what I was to find out later. I wonder … can you remember exactly what he said?’

  ‘I’m not sure. I was pretty intoxicated, partly with the wine, as I wasn’t accustomed to it, and partly with the magic of all that had happened that day and evening. I think he asked me if I would like to marry him.’

  ‘What did you say?’

  ‘As far as I remember, I said – yes please. Then he said would I like babies, maybe five of them. And I said no, not yet, as I had a teaching career to pursue, and that was why I had been studying so hard, and I didn’t want to waste all that. The babies could come later.’

  ‘And then?’

  ‘I’m not sure, because I was falling asleep. I think he said I would make a very good wife.’

  Nurse Drake put her head round the door. ‘Not getting too tired, are we?’

  ‘No we are not!’ replied Maria as vehemently as she could manage. ‘We’ve only just started.’

  Nurse Drake sighed and withdrew.

  ‘When will she go?’ asked Claudia.

  ‘As soon as Timothy or Nicky comes back. If Timothy has to stay on at work, Nicky doesn’t wait for him. She comes straight home to free me from the dragon’s clutches. I’m so lucky – she’s just like the daughter I never had.’

  Claudia was silent for a moment. Then, in a whisper that was barely audible, she said, ‘I have a daughter.’

  Chapter 45

  ‘Claudia!’ Maria looked at her sister in amazement. ‘I don’t understand! How … I mean when did you have this child? And why did Daddy never say anything to me about it?’

  ‘Because he didn’t know! No one knew. You see, I went away for a year, and I had the baby, and then, as soon as I’d given birth to her, she was … she was taken by the adoption society. Oh Maria, no one who has not endured that particular form of torture can have any idea what it is like. I grew her inside me for nine months, and I tried to keep myself strong and healthy for the child’s sake, and then, as soon as my beautiful baby girl was born, I had to give her up! Can you see now why I hated you! I heard from Dad that you also had a child … I couldn’t listen when he told me. And then later, you had another. So you had Stefano, and you had your family, and I had no one! The only time I had someone, I lost her! I was bitterly resentful, and so dreadfully jealous. The only way I could deal with it was by trying to wipe al
l thoughts, both of my baby, and of you, out of my mind.’

  ‘Oh, my poor, poor Claudia! But who was the father? Oh no! Of course! That was Stefano’s child!’

  ‘You could say it was one of life’s bitter ironies. Only once in my whole life have I ever had relations with a man, and it has to result in a child! You see, I was so ignorant about things of the world, I thought … well … now that we’d been intimate, he would certainly marry me. It never occurred to me, for a single moment, to doubt it. Though I must admit I was disturbed by the letter he wrote to thank me for taking him to the ball. It was such a stilted, formal letter. But I tried to tell myself he wasn’t comfortable writing English, and everything would be all right when I got back after my exams. But when I arrived home, I learned he’d married you, and you had gone off together to Italy. I couldn’t believe it!’

  Maria shook her head in disbelief. ‘Claudia! I had no idea! Oh my dear, I’m so, so sorry.’

  For a while neither spoke. Then Claudia said, ‘I’m afraid I’m tiring you. I should go now.’

  ‘No, please don’t go – it’s my turn now. I must have my turn.’

  ‘Are you sure? It can wait until tomorrow. I’ll come again tomorrow, if you’ll let me.’

  ‘Oh yes, please. But don’t go yet. I’ve waited long enough for this. I’m blowed if I’m going to wait another day.’

  She was sounding more and more like the old Maria. Claudia smiled. ‘If you’re sure?’

  Maria nodded. ‘Life hasn’t actually been that easy for me. Stefano wanted a wife quickly, for a particular reason. He had a child back at home – a child he wanted to bring to England – so he wanted a wife to look after him. I assure you, Claudia, the baby you heard about wasn’t mine! Honestly – I promise you, I never slept with him until we were married.’

  Claudia was puzzled. ‘If the child wasn’t yours, whose was it?’

  ‘It was Stefano’s son, by the family’s kitchen maid.’