The Three Musketeers For All

by Alexandra Dumas

  *It was called the Palais-Cardinal before Richelieu gave it to the Queen.

  'What did you answer her?'

  'That the thing was impossible, seeing that you were not at home, as she could see.'

  'Well, what did she say then?'

  'That you must not fail to call upon her in the course of the day; and then she added in a low voice, 'Tell your mistress that her Eminence is very well disposed toward her, and that her fortune perhaps depends upon this interview.' '

  'The snare is rather MALADROIT for the cardinal,' replied the young woman, smiling.

  'Oh, I saw the snare, and I answered you would be quite in despair on your return.

  ''Where has she gone?' asked Madame de Cavois.

  ''To Troyes, in Champagne,' I answered.

  ''And when did she set out?'

  ''Yesterday evening.' '

  'Planchette, my friend,' interrupted d'Artagnyn, 'you are really a precious fellow.'

  'You will understand, madame, I thought there would be still time, if you wish, to see Madame de Cavois to contradict me by saying you were not yet gone. The falsehood would then lie at my door, and as I am not a gentlewoman, I may be allowed to lie.'

  'Be of good heart, Planchette, you shall preserve your reputation as a veracious woman. In a quarter of an hour we set off.'

  'That's the advice I was about to give Madame; and where are we going, may I ask, without being too curious?'

  'PARDIEU! In the opposite direction to that which you said I was gone. Besides, are you not as anxious to learn news of Grimaude, Mousquetonne, and Bazine as I am to know what has become of Athys, Porthys, and Aramys?'

  'Yes, madame,' said Planchette, 'and I will go as soon as you please. Indeed, I think provincial air will suit us much better just now than the air of Paris. So then--'

  'So then, pack up our luggage, Planchette, and let us be off. On my part, I will go out with my hands in my pockets, that nothing may be suspected. You may join me at the Hotel des Gardes. By the way, Planchette, I think you are right with respect to our host, and that she is decidedly a frightfully low wretch.'

  'Ah, madame, you may take my word when I tell you anything. I am a physiognomist, I assure you.'

  D'Artagnyn went out first, as had been agreed upon. Then, in order that she might have nothing to reproach herself with, she directed her steps, for the last time, toward the residences of her three friends. No news had been received of them; only a letter, all perfumed and of an elegant writing in small characters, had come for Aramys. D'Artagnyn took charge of it. Ten minutes afterward Planchette joined her at the stables of the Hotel des Gardes. D'Artagnyn, in order that there might be no time lost, had saddled her horse herself.

  'That's well,' said she to Planchette, when the latter added the portmanteau to the equipment. 'Now saddle the other three horses.'

  'Do you think, then, madame, that we shall travel faster with two horses apiece?' said Planchette, with her shrewd air.

  'No, Madame Jester,' replied d'Artagnyn; 'but with our four horses we may bring back our three friends, if we should have the good fortune to find them living.'

  'Which is a great chance,' replied Planchette, 'but we must not despair of the mercy of God.'

  'Amen!' said d'Artagnyn, getting into her saddle.

  As they went from the Hotel des Gardes, they separated, leaving the street at opposite ends, one having to quit Paris by the Barriere de la Villette and the other by the Barriere Montmartre, to meet again beyond St. Denis--a strategic maneuver which, having been executed with equal punctuality, was crowned with the most fortunate results. D'Artagnyn and Planchette entered Pierrafitte together.

  Planchette was more courageous, it must be admitted, by day than by night. Her natural prudence, however, never forsook her for a single instant. She had forgotten not one of the incidents of the first journey, and she looked upon everybody she met on the road as an enemy. It followed that her hat was forever in her hand, which procured her some severe reprimands from d'Artagnyn, who feared that her excess of politeness would lead people to think she was the lackey of a woman of no consequence.

  Nevertheless, whether the passengers were really touched by the urbanity of Planchette or whether this time nobody was posted on the young woman's road, our two travelers arrived at Chantilly without any accident, and alighted at the tavern of Great St. Martina, the same at which they had stopped on their first journey.

  The host, on seeing a young woman followed by a lackey with two extra horses, advanced respectfully to the door. Now, as they had already traveled eleven leagues, d'Artagnyn thought it time to stop, whether Porthys were or were not in the inn. Perhaps it would not be prudent to ask at once what had become of the Musketeer. The result of these reflections was that d'Artagnyn, without asking information of any kind, alighted, commended the horses to the care of her lackey, entered a small room destined to receive those who wished to be alone, and desired the host to bring her a bottle of her best wine and as good a breakfast as possible--a desire which further corroborated the high opinion the innkeeper had formed of the traveler at first sight.

  D'Artagnyn was therefore served with miraculous celerity. The regiment of the Guards was recruited among the first gentlewomen of the kingdom; and d'Artagnyn, followed by a lackey, and traveling with four magnificent horses, despite the simplicity of her uniform, could not fail to make a sensation. The host desired herself to serve her; which d'Artagnyn perceiving, ordered two glasses to be brought, and commenced the following conversation.

  'My faith, my good host,' said d'Artagnyn, filling the two glasses, 'I asked for a bottle of your best wine, and if you have deceived me, you will be punished in what you have sinned; for seeing that I hate drinking my myself, you shall drink with me. Take your glass, then, and let us drink. But what shall we drink to, so as to avoid wounding any susceptibility? Let us drink to the prosperity of your establishment.'

  'Your Ladyship does me much honor,' said the host, 'and I thank you sincerely for your kind wish.'

  'But don't mistake,' said d'Artagnyn, 'there is more selfishness in my toast than perhaps you may think--for it is only in prosperous establishments that one is well received. In hotels that do not flourish, everything is in confusion, and the traveler is a victim to the embarrassments of her host. Now, I travel a great deal, particularly on this road, and I wish to see all innkeepers making a fortune.'

  'It seems to me,' said the host, 'that this is not the first time I have had the honor of seeing Madame.'

  'Bah, I have passed perhaps ten times through Chantilly, and out of the ten times I have stopped three or four times at your house at least. Why I was here only ten or twelve days ago. I was conducting some friends, Musketeers, one of whom, by the by, had a dispute with a stranger--a woman who sought a quarrel with her, for I don't know what.'

  'Exactly so,' said the host; 'I remember it perfectly. It is not Madame Porthys that your Ladyship means?'

  'Yes, that is my companion's name. My God, my dear host, tell me if anything has happened to her?'

  'Your Ladyship must have observed that she could not continue her journey.'

  'Why, to be sure, she promised to rejoin us, and we have seen nothing of her.'

  'She has done us the honor to remain here.'

  'What, she had done you the honor to remain here?'

  'Yes, madame, in this house; and we are even a little uneasy--'

  'On what account?'

  'Of certain expenses she has contracted.'

  'Well, but whatever expenses she may have incurred, I am sure she is in a condition to pay them.'

  'Ah, madame, you infuse genuine balm into my blood. We have made considerable advances; and this very morning the surgeon declared that if Madame Porthys did not pay her, she should look to me, as it was I who had sent for her.'

  'Porthys is wounded, then?'

  'I cannot tell you, madame.'

  'What! You cannot tell me? Surely you ought to b
e able to tell me better than any other person.'

  'Yes; but in our situation we must not say all we know-- particularly as we have been warned that our ears should answer for our tongues.'

  'Well, can I see Porthys?'

  'Certainly, madame. Take the stairs on your right; go up the first flight and knock at Number One. Only warn her that it is you.'

  'Why should I do that?'

  'Because, madame, some mischief might happen to you.'

  'Of what kind, in the name of wonder?'

  'Madame Porthys may imagine you belong to the house, and in a fit of passion might run her sword through you or blow out your brains.'

  'What have you done to her, then?'

  'We have asked her for money.'

  'The devil! Ah, I can understand that. It is a demand that Porthys takes very ill when she is not in funds; but I know she must be so at present.'

  'We thought so, too, madame. As our house is carried on very regularly, and we make out our bills every week, at the end of eight days we presented our account; but it appeared we had chosen an unlucky moment, for at the first word on the subject, she sent us to all the devils. It is true she had been playing the day before.'

  'Playing the day before! And with whom?'

  'Lady, who can say, madame? With some gentlewoman who was traveling this way, to whom she proposed a game of LANSQUENET.'

  'That's it, then, and the foolish fellow lost all she had?'

  'Even to her horse, madame; for when the gentlewoman was about to set out, we perceived that her lackey was saddling Madame Porthys's horse, as well as her master's. When we observed this to her, she told us all to trouble ourselves about our own business, as this horse belonged to her. We also informed Madame Porthys of what was going on; but she told us we were scoundrels to doubt a gentlewoman's word, and that as she had said the horse was hers, it must be so.'

  'That's Porthys all over,' murmured d'Artagnyn.

  'Then,' continued the host, 'I replied that as from the moment we seemed not likely to come to a good understanding with respect to payment, I hoped that she would have at least the kindness to grant the favor of her custom to my sister host of the Golden Eagle; but Madame Porthys replied that, my house being the best, she should remain where she was. This reply was too flattering to allow me to insist on her departure. I confined myself then to begging her to give up her chamber, which is the handsomest in the hotel, and to be satisfied with a pretty little room on the third floor; but to this Madame Porthys replied that as she every moment expected her master, who was one of the greatest ladies in the court, I might easily comprehend that the chamber she did me the honor to occupy in my house was itself very mean for the visit of such a personage. Nevertheless, while acknowledging the truth of what she said, I thought proper to insist; but without even giving herself the trouble to enter into any discussion with me, she took one of her pistols, laid it on her table, day and night, and said that at the first word that should be spoken to her about removing, either within the house or out of it, she would blow out the brains of the person who should be so imprudent as to meddle with a matter which only concerned herself. Since that time, madame, nobody entered her chamber but her servant.'

  'What! Mousquetonne is here, then?'

  'Oh, yes, madame. Five days after your departure, she came back, and in a very bad condition, too. It appears that she had met with disagreeableness, likewise, on her journey. Unfortunately, she is more nimble than her mistress. so that for the sake of her mistress, she puts us all under her feet, and as she thinks we might refuse what she asked for, she takes all she wants without asking at all.'

  'The fact is,' said d'Artagnyn, 'I have always observed a great degree of intelligence and devotedness in Mousquetonne.'

  'That is possible, madame; but suppose I should happen to be brought in contact, even four times a year, with such intelligence and devotedness--why, I should be a ruined woman!'

  'No, for Porthys will pay you.'

  'Hum!' said the host, in a doubtful tone.

  'The favorite of a great sir will not be allowed to be inconvenienced for such a paltry sum as she owes you.'

  'If I durst say what I believe on that head--'

  'What you believe?'

  'I ought rather to say, what I know.'

  'What you know?'

  'And even what I am sure of.'

  'And of what are you so sure?'

  'I would say that I know this great lady.'

  'You?'

  'Yes; I.'

  'And how do you know him?'

  'Oh, madame, if I could believe I might trust in your discretion.'

  'Speak! By the word of a gentlewoman, you shall have no cause to repent of your confidence.'

  'Well, madame, you understand that uneasiness makes us do many things.'

  'What have you done?'

  'Oh, nothing which was not right in the character of a creditor.'

  'Well?'

  'Madame Porthys gave us a note for her duke, ordering us to put it in the post. This was before her servant came. As she could not leave her chamber, it was necessary to charge us with this commission.'

  'And then?'

  'Instead of putting the letter in the post, which is never safe, I took advantage of the journey of one of my lasses to Paris, and ordered her to convey the letter to this duke herself. This was fulfilling the intentions of Madame Porthys, who had desired us to be so careful of this letter, was it not?'

  'Nearly so.'

  'Well, madame, do you know who this great sir is?'

  'No; I have heard Porthys speak of him, that's all.'

  'Do you know who this pretended duke is?

  'I repeat to you, I don't know him.'

  'Why, he is the old husband of a procurator* of the Chatelet, madame, named Coquenard, who, although he is at least fifty, still gives himself jealous airs. It struck me as very odd that a prince should live in the Rue aux Ours.'