The Sweet Life

by Rebecca Lim

  Janey smiled. ‘Freddy had pretended to be so nice to me – she really had me fooled – and you and I had had a few misunderstandings already . . .’

  Celia looked embarrassed.

  ‘. . . so I just decided to stick it out until it was time to head back to Australia. I’m tougher than I look, you know,’ Janey added. ‘I’ve kind of had to be.’

  ‘You certainly are,’ Celia replied. ‘My first impressions of you were so right. You know, sensible, friendly, even a little naïve . . . until my wretched daughter caused me to doubt my own judgment!’

  Janey blushed a little at the description.

  ‘Definitely not the crazed man-eater you suddenly seemed to become!’ Celia added, shaking her head. ‘Every time I saw you, it was Luca this, and Brandon that, and after what I’ve been through with Freddy chasing Luca all over Rome, having him on speed dial, getting him to drive her and her friends around so much that the Ambassador’s had to have a private word with me on more than one occasion . . .’ Celia shot her daughter a harassed look.

  ‘You just thought the worst,’ said Janey.

  ‘You know what Libby said?’ Celia murmured. ‘“It’s Rome – it’s practically spelt the same way as romance, for heaven’s sake!” I tend to forget that, Janey, being the jaded old bird I am. Anyway, as soon as Libby told me what had been happening to you, I went into instant panic mode. Rang home, no one picked up, checked my mobile, no messages, rang your phone, no reply . . .’

  ‘I would’ve been running for my life just then,’ said Janey. ‘So I definitely wasn’t answering—’

  ‘Right,’ Celia agreed, ‘so then I rang poor Luca – who was out with his usual crowd of sophisticates . . .’

  Freddy turned around at her mother’s words, no longer pretending she wasn’t interested in the conversation.

  ‘. . . and told him I needed his help,’ Celia continued. ‘Had this crazy idea that we’d drive around the whole Castro Pretorio district looking for you, because that was the only clue to your whereabouts that I had to go on. I knew you’d gone to Pompeii and I knew what time your tour was supposed to get back—’

  ‘We were seriously delayed,’ Janey interrupted wryly.

  ‘. . . and while I was waiting for him, I remembered that mysterious email from Ness McAdams. Turns out it wasn’t addressed to you after all, it was intended for me all along. And it contained your friends’ theories about what my sneaky offspring and her friends have been up to over the last few days!’ It was Celia’s turn to glare at Freddy, who just ducked her head.

  Celia’s expression flickered between disbelief and sheer embarrassment. ‘All I knew was that you were about two hours overdue, because you hadn’t checked in, and we needed to find you. When Luca pulled up at the embassy, he said that where you were, Freddy would probably be too, because he had a hunch that Freddy was somehow involved. And he was right. Because when you wouldn’t take his call either . . .’

  ‘Still running for my life at that point!’ said Janey, laughing. It was easy to laugh about it now. ‘Plus, there was the possibility he was a crazed loony, so I wouldn’t have taken his call either way.’

  ‘He had the presence of mind to call Freddy.’ said Celia.

  ‘That rat!’ said Freddy angrily. Celia shot her a silencing look.

  ‘He convinced her that he wanted to take her out clubbing at last. And you took the bait!’ She looked at Freddy, who looked away. ‘Luca has been resisting Freddy’s invitations for months. She had no idea I was sitting there listening to the whole conversation, which included several other background voices.’

  ‘Brandon’s,’ Janey muttered in distress.

  Celia nodded. ‘We distinctly heard him say, “This was a bad idea, Freddy! What are we supposed to do? Just leave her wandering the Città Universitaria on her own, when she’s probably hysterical?”’

  ‘Huh! Like he cared,’ Janey mumbled.

  ‘And Luca and I just stared at each other in shock because it was literally a kilometre away from where we were. We knew the Città Universitaria would be as deserted as a graveyard and if you weren’t hysterical, it would be a miracle!’

  ‘So what happened next?’ said Janey, interested despite herself.

  Freddy glared at the ceiling and crossed her arms.

  ‘Though Freddy tried to muffle her mobile, we distinctly overheard her giving the others orders to “close the net” at the Piazzale Aldo Moro and give you one last huge heart attack before calling it a night! Freddy then got back on the line and demanded Luca pick her up at the corner of Viale dell’Università and Viale Pretoriano in twenty minutes, and the rest is history. Now Freddy and I are going to have that little talk because it’s way, way overdue. I’m really sorry you were drawn into the crossfire, Janey. I never intended your holiday to turn out like this.’

  Freddy’s expression indicated she was preparing to go on the attack. But before she could open her mouth, Celia said gently, ‘I know I’ve been too wrapped up in work, darling, and you’ve probably had good reason to act up. You’ve never let me put my side of the story properly and now you are going to listen. To every word. Really listen.’

  Janey let herself out of the room as Celia and Freddy began to argue.

  As Freddy wailed and Celia talked and paced in the living room, Janey jumped onto her MySpace page to update her friends on the whole mind-bending saga.

  ‘You’ll never believe how it all panned out!’ she began, in her latest and most anticipated blog ever.

  Janey

  ‘You’ve got to be kidding!’ Gabs hooted.

  Janey was an hour and a half into a hilarious four-way Skype chat with Ness, Em and Gabs – who were all over at Gabs’s again – when she heard a tentative knock on the study door. It was about three in the morning Rome time, which equated to nearly lunchtime back home, but after the adrenaline-charged day she’d just survived, Janey was a long way from feeling sleepy.

  ‘Hold on guys,’ Janey said, frowning. ‘I think someone’s at the door. Come in!’

  ‘Freddy has something to say,’ Celia said, tugging Freddy into the room.

  Freddy’s features twisted into a graceless scowl as four pairs of eyes scanned her with distaste.

  ‘So you’re Freddy,’ Ness said, as she loomed forward into the screen to see better. Ness, being Ness, had momentarily done something to Gabs’s webcam and she had trouble seeing what was going on at Janey’s end.

  ‘Fellini, huh?’ Em added from the background. ‘Couldn’t you have picked some other cultural icon to trash in your quest to hound Janey out of Rome?’

  ‘You’re not as pretty as Janey’s description of you,’ said Gabs.

  It was difficult for Janey to keep a straight face.

  ‘I’m not apologising in front of them,’ Freddy hissed.

  ‘I don’t see why not,’ Janey replied, trying not to look like she was enjoying Freddy’s discomfiture. ‘They know all about it. I’ve told them every last sordid detail. They’re really quite fascinated by what you managed to achieve in such a short space of time. You really had me going there.’

  ‘You weren’t exactly hard to track down on MySpace.’ Freddy tossed her head. ‘There aren’t that many Janey Gs around. As soon as Mum told me of your existence, I found you just like that.’ Freddy snapped her fingers.

  ‘Clever you,’ interrupted Em from the computer screen. ‘Lucky Janes is such a nice person or you’d find the abject apology you are about to give all over YouTube.’

  Celia had been listening to the rapid-fire exchange between the five girls with barely concealed amusement. ‘Get on with it.’ She gave her daughter a prod.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Freddy spat. ‘There, I’m done.’ She turned on her heel and walked out, her ‘international’ hair swinging in her wake.

  ‘And she really is, because I’ve grounded her until the end of the holidays, plus she has a new weekday curfew once school starts again. And I’m really sorry, too, Janey. Freddy’s behaved mo
nstrously with you because I turned a blind eye to her tantrums and her bad behaviour. The whole situation with her and her father is much, much harder work than my actual day job, and I’ve been taking refuge at the office. I guess I’d hoped that Freddy would work through the reasons for our divorce over time, but obviously I was wrong.’ Celia shook her head. ‘So I’ll be spending more time at home as well, even if it means working after she goes to bed. You’re going to be seeing an awful lot of both of us for the rest of your stay. Try and get some sleep soon? You’ve had a very trying day.’ She closed the door behind her.

  ‘You can say that again!’ Janey exclaimed, turning back to the screen and her friends’ smiling faces.

  ‘You’ve had a very trying day,’ Gabs repeated gravely.

  All four girls fell about laughing, laughing even harder when Ness complained that she couldn’t see anything because the camera wasn’t working properly now at all.

  It was almost noon when Janey woke on her second Friday in Rome, feeling somehow . . . lighter.

  It seemed almost unreal that she would never be troubled by Fellini again – ‘he’ had been such a malevolent presence in her life for so many action-packed days!

  Unexpectedly, both Celia and Freddy were still home and snoring in their respective beds. Janey figured they must’ve had the mother (and daughter!) of all talks last night and talked themselves out. Grabbing her backpack, Janey headed out and wandered the streets happily, just like any normal tourist, for the entire afternoon.

  It felt good to be alive. Life was wonderful again, and Janey couldn’t stop smiling. Later that afternoon, she returned with a peace offering – a tray of sweet ricotta cannoli.

  ‘Mmmmmm,’ Celia said, still in her dressing-gown, as they shared them over coffee. ‘My favourite!’

  ‘That’s exactly what the baker said,’ Janey laughed. She’d purchased them at the pasticceria around the corner from Celia’s building, and everyone there knew of the Australian woman who looked just like Janey.

  Freddy deigned to pick at one as she sat listlessly at the kitchen bench. Her grounding had already started, and it was clear from her expression that the last week of her holidays now stretched long and pointlessly before her.

  ‘I’ll make dinner,’ Celia said. ‘Some comfort food would be just the thing. Pasta al forno, I think.’ She set out the ingredients and put a pot of water on the stove to boil. ‘We ’ve agreed,’ she added as she chopped onions, celery and fennel for the waiting pan, ‘that I’m going to pull back a little with regard to work while she’s going to employ a little less attitude around the place. Maybe next year I’ll seek out a quieter diplomatic posting. Freddy’s decided she doesn’t need to live like Luz after all, and that she can afford to make new friends. Isn’t that right, Freddy?’

  Freddy glared at her. ‘I was getting sick of them anyway,’ she muttered, swallowing the last of her coffee. ‘They’re a bunch of try-hards, and Paolo has a drinking problem. We could always move to Paris,’ she said, brightening. ‘It’s not that far from Rome, so I can see Papa, and the fashions are primo.’

  ‘I was thinking more along the lines of Canberra,’ Celia replied, whisking together a saucepan of béchamel sauce. A heavenly aroma filled the kitchen as she crumbled Italian sausage and minced veal into the frying pan. ‘It’d be great for you to be back in Australia for Year 12.’

  Freddy’s face fell comically and Janey had to turn and pretend she was busy at the sink to stop a giggle escaping.

  ‘But I’m open to negotiation,’ Celia added mildly. She alternated layers of cooked meat and vegetables with cooked pasta and béchamel sauce in a large earthenware baking dish, topping off her creation with fresh breadcrumbs and shaved parmesan. ‘Pass me the pepper grinder, would you?’ she said to Janey with a wink.

  It was going to be all right after all, Janey thought with relief, pushing the pepper grinder across the table to the aunt who looked so much like her, it was spooky.

  Janey woke to the most amazing sight.

  ‘Surprise!’ Ness squealed as she, Em and Gabs plonked themselves down on the edge of Janey’s bed. They each looked crumpled, but insanely wonderful to Janey.

  She rubbed her eyes. The crumpled visions remained. What’s more, Em sat on one of Janey’s feet to prove she was really there. ‘Sorry!’ Em grinned, not sounding sorry at all.

  ‘Are you dreaming?’ Gabs added.

  ‘Uh, I dunno!’ Janey murmured, feeling light-headed. ‘I might be! OMG!! What are you guys doing here?!’

  The four of them squealed in unison, and Janey’s three best friends in the world piled onto her bed and gave her the fiercest group hug of her life.

  ‘Celia flew us in!’ Em explained. ‘She arranged it all yesterday through someone at the Rome embassy. To make up for Freddy’s behaviour, she said. And hers. We basically had two hours to get our behinds to the airport and we were away. Someone from DFAT met us with tickets, paid for by your aunt.’

  ‘Libby probably organised everything,’ said Janey gratefully, remembering the Ambassador’s efficient assistant. ‘Go on!’

  ‘And Celia kept it secret from everybody, even the beauteous Freddy,’ said Em. ‘’Cause you know how snoopy Freddy is! She probably would’ve let the secret out early just to annoy you and her mum.’

  Janey did some sluggish mental calculations. ‘Um, doesn’t that mean you’ve been flying all night to get here?’

  ‘You bet,’ said Gabs, a little wearily. ‘Melbourne, Sydney, Honkers, London, Roma.’ She rolled her ‘r’ at full volume like a crazed opera singer, making them all break out into fresh giggles. ‘Non-stop all the way to get here to find you still doing a sleeping beauty at nine o’clock! What gives?’

  ‘I’m on holidays,’ Janey mock-complained, covering her face with the doona. ‘Give me a break.’

  She threw the doona off a few seconds later. ‘Spill. Celia said it was the three of you who figured out what was going on with Fellini.’

  ‘Well,’ said Gabs, ‘Ness might be totally clueless about technology, but she’s pretty sharp about people.’

  ‘Um, thanks, I think,’ said Ness, screwing up her face.

  Gabs continued, ‘And something about Fellini really bothered her as she reread all the stuff on your MySpace after we last talked to you. Something suddenly seemed to click . . .’

  Em took up the story. ‘So Inspector Ness, here,’ Ness punched Em in the arm, ‘tried to call me, but I’d just headed off to the scriptwriting thing – which was sensational by the way. So she dialled Gabs’s place. And Gabs answered the phone sounding, uh, kinda weird.’

  Janey raised her eyebrows. Gabs grimaced. ‘I’d just done a ninety-minute bikram yoga session with Mum in a room heated to forty-point-five degrees Celsius. I’m so not cut out for exercise—’

  ‘Especially not twenty-six asanas and, um, what were they called?’ Em ribbed Gabs. ‘Pranayamas? Pyjamaramas?’

  Gabs giggled, then her tone turned serious. ‘So Ness says, “Don’t you think there’s something screwy about this Fellini character who’s been trashing Janey’s profile?” ’

  Ness took over. ‘In my vast retail experience, Janey, and you know it’s vast—’ Everybody laughed. So true. ‘Anyway,’ Ness continued, ‘I deal with insecure teen queens all day and I hear the way they speak about each other and their friends, or in some cases, like I said the other day, their anti-friends, and—’

  ‘This is the best bit,’ Gabs interrupted. ‘Ness is totally the reason Luca came charging in like a white knight when Freddy and her henchpersons were playing out a scene from Eyes Wide Shut.’

  Em snorted.

  ‘I told Gabs that I didn’t think Fellini was a guy at all!’ said Ness triumphantly.

  ‘I totally disagreed,’ Gabs added. ‘The creepy pic, the name, the weird profile, the whole stalking thing. That’s such a loser guy thing to do! What girl has the time? So I demanded to know why.’

  Ness grinned. ‘And I pointed out how “he” w
as always so fixated on your appearance. Chicken head is like, slang for ugly girl, right? No guy ever writes like that. Well, none I know of, anyway.’

  ‘But then we wondered what Brandon’s involvement was because the links to Luca were too obvious and too clumsy,’ Gabs continued. ‘Brandon seemed pretty sweet on you. Remember the Café de Paris outing? And lunch at the Hotel Hassler? It just didn’t add up.’

  ‘Which is when we had the Eureka brainwave moment,’ said Ness. ‘Figuring that he had to be friends with the real person who wanted you gone!’

  Janey clapped her hands together. ‘So you worked out that Freddy was the connection!’

  ‘It totally explained how Brandon was always right there,’ Gabs explained. ‘And all those mixed messages he kept giving you. He’s been simultaneously spying on you and falling for you.’

  Ness took up the story. ‘Of course he’d always be handy. And super conflicted. He’s been following you around doing Freddy’s dirty work but his heart probably hasn’t been in it.’

  ‘So Ness got in touch with Celia ASAP,’ said Gabs. ‘Outlining our theory.’

  ‘I cut and pasted bits out of your MySpace so that Celia wouldn’t think we were out of our minds,’ said Ness. ‘She needed proof of what we were saying. I mean, no one wants to hear stuff like this about their own kid . . .’

  Gabs added, ‘And we got in contact with Celia via the embassy’s official email address because her personal one wasn’t on the web.’

  ‘But the stroke of genius,’ said Em with a yawn, ‘was that Gabs and Ness made sure that in no way did they alert Fellini, or you, to what they were doing. And that meant not commenting on your MySpace, Janes, until we were sure that Freddy really was behind things.’

  ‘You’re way too nice,’ added Em. ‘Unless we laid it all out for you, we knew you wouldn’t want to believe that a long-lost family member was actually doing this to you.’