by Erica Lee
“So, Rory, don’t take this the wrong way but are you straight or gay?” Paul asked.
Karen rolled her eyes at her boyfriend and slapped him in the arm. Her smiled and sheepishly raised his hands in apology.
I smiled so Karen and Paul would know that I wasn’t offended by the question. “Ha. It’s a logical question. No worries. I’m gay.”
Lisa let out a low whistle. “Maybe you did tame her. I don’t think Jenny has ever been just friends with another lesbian. She never even joined our college’s gay club because she said it would be a conflict of interest or something like that. But we all knew that meant that she had hooked up with most of the girls who attended the meetings.”
Karen laughed and put a hand on my shoulder. “Oh girl. We have so many Jenny stories to share with you before this night is over.”
Before she could say anything else, the DJ announced that the wedding party introductions were about to start. I was happy about this interruption. For some reason, I had no interest in hearing about Jenny’s wild college days.
After the introductions and first dance were over, both Jenny and Allison made their way over to our table. I greeted them and told Allison how beautiful she looked and how nice the ceremony was.
“Thank you,” she said. “I see that you had the chance to meet the rest of the UCLA crew.”
“Yes. They are all great,” I said while smiling at the group. Then I did a quick sweep around the room to see if there was anyone else who seemed to be around our age. “Do you guys have any high school friends here? I’d love to meet them too.”
Jenny’s face turned sour as she stared at the ground and mumbled a quick “No.”
Allison smiled through gritted teeth and put a hand on Jenny’s shoulder. “We don’t talk to any of those people anymore. Girls from our high school are huge bitches.”
“Oh,” I said quickly, putting a hand on Jenny’s arm and bending to try to catch her eyes. “Well screw them. You guys are way too good for people like that.”
“Preach it girl,” Allison said while raising a fist for me to bump.
At this point, Jenny finally allowed her eyes to make contact with mine and a smile slowly spread across her face. “Yeah. There’s no room for people like that in my life. Especially when I have a pretty girl like you to give all of my attention to.”
And just like that she was back - the Jenny I had grown to know and…appreciate a lot. This was the Jenny that her college friends seemed to know as well. So, what was this other side of Jenny? It seemed to be a side that she had left in high school. It was a side that was timid and unsure and vulnerable. As much as I liked the cool and confident side of Jenny, I wanted to get to know this side as well. I was desperate to know every part of her. But in just two days, we would be back on opposite sides of the country and I found myself wishing more and more that this wasn’t the case. More than anything, I wanted the chance to spend more time with her.
Chapter 9
I stepped into the driver’s side of the big moving truck and smiled over at Todd. “California here we come,” I sang as I rolled the windows down and waved goodbye to our hometown.
“I can’t believe we’re actually doing this right now,” Todd said with excitement pouring from his voice.
“It is pretty crazy,” I agreed. “Moving across the country is a huge step.”
“I’m just so excited,” he practically screamed. The smile left his face as he gave me a serious look. “But how are you feeling?”
“I’m super excited for you as well, not to mention extremely jealous. You’re going to be living in my favorite place in the whole world. But I’m also very sad. I know we haven’t lived in the same place for awhile now, but a two hour drive was much easier than a five hour plane ride. I’m not going to lie, it’s going to be hard not seeing you as much. We’ve been through everything together.”
Todd stared at me and, for a moment, I thought he might start to cry. Instead, he reached out and grabbed my hand. “I’m going to miss you like crazy too. It feels weird making such a big move without you.”
“But it’s the right move,” I said sincerely, wanting to reassure him.
And I truly felt that way. Todd and Ryan had been dating just shy of a year at this point and were madly in love. At first, I wondered how it was possible to develop feelings like that when they weren’t physically in each other’s presence. In the 11 months they were together so far, they had each made one trip to see the other person so the majority of their time was spent texting and Skyping. When Todd told me he was going to be moving to LA and moving in with Ryan, he explained that the distance was exactly why they had gotten so close. Since their time wasn’t spent doing activities together, they talked and learned everything about each other. It made sense. I felt closer to Jenny than anyone else in my life, with the exception of maybe my mom and Todd.
Todd smiled. “It still doesn’t feel right to move across the country without you. I really thought all of my begging and pleading would be enough to convince my oldest, bestest friend to move to her favorite place in the world with me. It’s not even like you would have to give up your job to go.”
I squeezed Todd’s hand. “I’m sure you’ll find a teaching job in no time,” I reassured him.
I knew that was the one factor that made him question the move. He was still living in our small hometown at his childhood home, so he was more than happy to leave that. He just wondered if he should be leaving a stable job without having another one in place. Luckily, Ryan had promised to let him work at his non profit while he looked for a full time teaching position. Ryan would have promised anything to get Todd to move out with him and I was happy that he had found someone like that.
“I’m going to try this one more time,” Todd said, interrupting my thoughts. “Will you pretty pretty please with cherries on top just consider moving to California?” He jutted out his lip, showing the most pathetic puppy dog face.
“You know I can’t do that,” I said seriously. “I’ve already told you a thousand times why I’m not going to.”
Todd sighed. “I know and I respect your reasoning. I don’t agree with it, but I respect it. I’m just asking you to consider taking a lesson from me though. Stop overthinking it and just do it.”
“It’s different for you. You’re moving so you can be with the love of your life.”
A sly grin came onto Todd’s face. “I mean you would be moving to be with the love of your life as well.”
I laughed and rolled my eyes at him. “Don’t give yourself so much credit. I love you to pieces, but not in that way.”
“Oh stop. You and I both know that I’m not talking about myself. How many girls have you dated since the last time you saw Jenny?” The smile on his face grew wider as he spoke.
“I don’t know Todd. Maybe two or three. This game is getting old, you know. You act like I’ve gone completely celibate.”
“That practically is celibate for you,” Todd said with a laugh. “Plus, I don’t even believe you. You never talk to me about girls anymore.”
I shot Todd a stern look and warned him to drop the subject. Luckily for me, he did. We spent the next five days of our road trip stopping in different locations to rest and sight see and never again spoke of me moving to California or my non-existent love life.
When we got to LA, our first stop was at Jenny and Ryan’s current apartment so we could add Ryan’s belongings to the moving truck. Since the apartment was located so close to her job and she now had the money to afford it on her own, Jenny had decided to transfer the lease to her name. Ryan and Todd were renting an apartment about a mile from her.
When we walked inside, I realized it was my first time seeing the apartment in person. It was definitely small, but also cute. I had to imagine it would be even cuter once Jenny had full reign over the decorations. The two twin beds that had adorned the bedroom before had already been replaced by a queen size bed with cute pink and blue flowers on the
white comforter.
After saying hello, we quickly got to work moving the little furniture that Ryan was taking with him out of the apartment. I was impressed by how strong Jenny was as we moved from her apartment and into Ryan and Todd’s new one. When everything was unloaded, I threw myself onto one of the couches that Ryan had gotten delivered earlier in the week and Jenny sat down beside me.
“Hi,” I said smiling over at her, realizing we hadn’t had much of a chance to talk yet.
“Why hello there,” Jenny said as she leaned closer to me. “There’s been something I’ve been meaning to do all day.”
My breath hitched as I tried to wrap my head around what she was talking about. She reached her hand out and squeezed my bicep.
“Who knew you were hiding such big muscles under those arms of yours?” Jenny winked as she said the words and kept her hand on my arm.
I gave her a half smile and purposely flexed my arm, before reaching out to grab hers. “Funny. I was actually thinking the same thing about you.”
I was about to get lost in Jenny’s eyes when I heard laughter coming from behind us.
“So sorry to interrupt,” Todd joked, while Ryan stood beside him snickering.
I glared at them both and Ryan cleared his throat. “We were thinking we could set up the tv, order some pizza, and spend the night watching movies. What do you guys think?”
I quickly agreed. Nothing sounded better than snuggling close to Jenny while watching movies, so that’s what we did.
I was awoken the next day to the sound of my phone ringing. I blinked at it a few times when I saw my dad’s name appear on the screen. He never called me out of the blue.
“Dad? Is everything ok?” I asked immediately, skipping hellos.
“Everything is fine baby girl. Are you in LA right now? I saw you posted something on Facebook about it.”
Guilt coursed through me, even though I told myself I should never feel guilty about anything when it came to my dad. “Yeah I am. Sorry I didn’t tell you dad. I just came to help Todd move. I actually leave tomorrow.”
“That’s ok,” he spoke. I realized his voice sounded chipper than usual. “Any chance I could see you today? Maybe we could do dinner? You can bring your friends. I know you don’t have much time with them.”
I wanted to ask who this man on the phone was and what he did with my dad, but decided to just go along with it.
That night, Jenny, Ryan, Todd, and I met my dad and Monica at a cute little Italian restaurant near the Hollywood walk of fame. Both my dad and Monica had goofy grins on their faces as they greeted us.
Monica looked at my dad with an excited shimmer in her eyes. “Can we tell them now?”
“Well, it looks like we’re not wasting any time,” my dad chuckled. “Sure. Go ahead.”
Monica immediately lifted her hand towards us, showing off the large, shiny engagement ring that decorated her ring finger.
“We’re engaged,” my dad shouted. “I just popped the question a few days ago and was trying to think of the right time to tell you, then I saw that you were in the area and knew I couldn’t miss the chance to tell you in person.”
I hesitated for a moment and all eyes fell on me. I reached out my hand and patted my dad on the shoulder. “That’s great Dad. I’m really happy for you guys.”
Upon hearing this, all of my friends joined in, telling my dad and Monica how excited they were and gushing over Monica’s ring. Oh yeah. These were definitely some good friends.
We spent most of the dinner talking about the proposal and the wedding that they were most likely going to do next summer. After we were done eating, my dad asked if he could talk to me outside alone. I thought it was a bit strange and out of character for him, but I agreed anyway.
We stood outside awkwardly for a few minutes before my dad started to talk. It always seemed weird to me that at times my dad felt like a complete stranger and others he felt like one of my best friends. Right now he definitely was falling closer to the stranger side.
“So,” he said hesitantly, running a hand through his hair. “I was wondering if you would be my... girl of honor.. or umm best girl.. or whatever they call it these days. We’re not doing a wedding party. We’re way too old for that sort of thing, but Monica and I both agreed that we want you to stand up front with us during the ceremony.”
“Of course I will Dad,” I choked out, trying to hold back tears. I’m not sure why he was still able to have this effect on me, but he was my dad, no matter how he acted most of the time.
A relieved look entered his face. “That’s great. I’m so happy to hear it. I was also wondering if you wanted to maybe help us plan it. Monica is going to take care of the decorating, but I thought you might want to help with a venue and all of the fun parts like music, food, photography, and what not. You don’t have to though. I know I don’t deserve it. I just thought it might be something fun for us to do together. I’d be happy to pay for any flights you would take to come here.”
I took a deep breath. This was all a lot to take in. The thought of helping my dad plan his wedding did seem exciting to me, but I wasn’t ready to commit yet.
“Could I think about it?” I asked.
“Of course you can sweetheart. Take your time.”
Truthfully, I knew the only time I needed was the time it would take for me to talk to one certain person.
Chapter 10
Just a week into being home from California, I drove back to my hometown to visit my mom. She didn’t think anything of it when I asked to come visit because I normally tried to visit her at least once a month, if not more. But I was nervous because I knew this time was different. I was going with the mission to talk to her about my dad’s wedding. I had a feeling she didn’t know anything about it since the two of them had cut off all communication after he moved out.
I had planned to wait a few days to say anything, but the first night we were having dinner together my mom caught on.
“Why are you so quiet?” She pressed. “And please don’t try to lie. I know you and I know when you are trying to hide something from me.”
I knew she was right. My mom had practically come out for me. She could read me like a book.
“Dad’s getting married,” I blurted out.
“That’s nice,” she said nonchalantly. “Are you ok with that?”
“I mean...I don’t know. I guess...I mean. Yeah?” I knew my answer didn’t really make any sense, but I didn’t want to hurt my mom’s feeling by saying the wrong thing.
My mom looked concerned. “What are you unsure of? Do you not like his fiancé? Was she mean to you?” A bit of anger flashed into her voice as she asked that last question.
“No. No. She wasn’t mean to me. She’s actually really nice and funny.” I quickly added, “But you’re better of course. She could never be as great as you.”
My mom laughed a loud hardy laugh. “Oh honey, you’re worried about me, aren’t you?”
I just nodded in response and my mom pulled me into a hug. “Oh Ror. You don’t have to worry about me. Your dad and I have been over for years and I know you saw a lot of ugliness between us, but I really do want him to be happy.”
I let out a breath of relief. “There is one more thing,” I informed my mom. “Dad asked me to help him plan the wedding.”
“That’s nice. What did you tell him?”
“I told him I would think about it. I wanted to talk to you first.”
My mom smiled at me. “Well, do you want to do it?”
“I think I do,” I admitted. “No actually, I definitely do. I know I probably shouldn’t want to. I don’t owe him anything, but it feels good that he asked me.”
“Then you should do it,” my mom said sincerely. “I think this will be good for you guys. I’ve always felt bad that you didn’t have a close relationship with your dad. I worried it was my fault, like somehow I was holding you back.”
I shook my head gesturing that it wasn’t. M
y mom couldn’t control how my dad acted. But it was settled. I was going to do this.
Before I called my dad to tell him, I dialed Jenny’s number.
When she picked up, I didn’t even bother saying hello and just cut to the chase. “How do you feel about helping me plan a wedding?”
The next year was insane. My time was spent traveling back and forth between Pennsylvania and California, as well as anywhere else that I needed to travel for work. Since I was spending so much time on the wedding, I felt like all of my non-wedding time was spent working.
The wedding planning was fun though. Since I had convinced Jenny to help me, we were able to spend a lot of time together. I actually saw her more than I saw my dad, but that wasn’t too shocking. I knew he wasn’t suddenly going to be a changed man.
We looked up venues located within an hour of LA and ended up choosing one after my dad, Monica, Jenny, and I went to see it and all fell in love. Jenny and I decided it would be more fun to have a band than a DJ at their wedding and ended up finding a 50s doo-wop band that my dad quickly became obsessed with.
When the big day arrived, I was excited to see how it all came together. My dad invited Jenny to come since she had helped with the planning. I was happy to have her there since I didn’t know any of the 70 people that were attending. Apparently some of them were relatives from my dad’s side of the family, but I had never even met them before so they all felt like strangers.
The ceremony was short since my dad and Monica didn’t want it to have any religious aspect to it. This was another point of contention between my mom and dad. My mom’s side of the family was much more religious than my dad’s. My mom went to church by herself for most of my childhood until I had come to know God on my own and started to go with her. My dad refused to attend even on holidays.
The reception was fun for an event that had no one in attendance under the age of 50. The band did a good job of getting people up and dancing in the beginning of the night. The dancing started to die down about an hour into the reception, which was normally my cue to get the party started. Only this time, I didn’t have the motivation. I was happy for my dad and we really had grown closer over the past year, but I still felt a little bitter to all these people who seemed to get a part of him that I never did.