by Erica Lee
Jenny nodded reluctantly as she looked over at me. I knew I wasn’t doing a good job of masking my disappointment over them leaving, but I wasn’t ready to be alone.
“Are you going to be ok?” Jenny asked, concern spread across her face.
“I think so,” I lied, but my tone said otherwise.
“I could…” Jenny hesitated before continuing. “You know...stay here this weekend if you wanted me to. My aunt and uncle know I came here for you. I only said I would stay with them because I didn’t want to intrude.”
I was quiet for a few seconds as I contemplated Jenny’s offer. All I wanted was to have Jenny close to me as much as possible, but was that really such a good idea?
Jenny must have taken my hesitation as a no because she stood up and started gathering her belongings. “You know what? I should probably just go. You and your mom don’t need another person around here to add stress to your situation. I’ll just see you tomorrow.”
She started to turn around, but I reached out and grabbed her arm. “No. Don’t go. Please stay with me.”
I felt childish acting like this, but I couldn’t help it. Jenny smiled at me and I stared into those shimmering brown eyes, feeling myself get lost for a minute.
“Sorry to interrupt this moment, but your bag is out in the rental car Jenny.” I jumped at the sound of Todd’s voice, but forced myself back to reality.
We followed Todd out to the car and I grabbed Jenny’s bag for her. Before Todd got in, he winked at us. “You ladies have a good night. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
I subtly lifted my middle finger at him so Jenny wouldn’t see. He laughed and jumped into the car.
When we got back into the house, my eyes started to feel heavy and I suddenly realized how exhausted I was. I couldn’t suppress a yawn from leaving my mouth.
“Should we get you to bed, pretty girl?” Jenny asked, putting her arm around my shoulder.
I tried to protest as she walked me in the direction of the stairs, feeling guilty that I had convinced her to stay when I couldn’t even keep my eyes open. “No, it’s fine. You stayed here so we could have more time together. We can hang out more.”
Jenny shook her head. “I stayed so you would have me close by incase you needed anything.”
I nodded my head and pointed to the room across from mine. “That’s the guest room. You can stay there.”
Jenny started heading toward the door and turned before entering. “I’m going to put my pajamas on and then I’ll come over to say goodnight…. if that’s ok. I just want to make sure you’re ok before I go to sleep.”
I tried my best to keep myself from visibly swooning over Jenny, but it was hard when she was being so sweet. “Of course that’s ok. Thank you.”
A few minutes after changing into a pair of shorts and a T-shirt, there was a knock on my door. When I opened up, Jenny was standing there wearing a pair of flannel pajama pants and a white t-shirt. Her hair was up in a ponytail and she was wearing glasses.
“Well, aren’t these cute?” I teased while reaching out to touch her glasses.
She batted my hand away. “Shut up. I got up so early today. My contacts were killing me.”
I shot her a half smile. “I kind of wish your contacts would kill you more often. I like this look on you. It’s like nerd chic.”
The slightest hint of blush spread across Jenny’s cheeks. For a split second she looked shy and it was absolutely adorable. But all too quickly, a mischievous grin replaced her shy smile.
Before I could react, her hands were on my stomach tickling me. “Nerd chic, huh?”
I tried to squirm away, but her grip was too strong. I laughed so hard that tears started streaming down my face. I realized that this was the first time I had laughed in days and it felt good. I put my hands on Jenny’s shoulders to try to push myself back, but her grip was too strong. She moved her hands down to my hips and held on tight. I stopped fighting her and looked into her eyes, very aware of her touch on the skin that was peeking out from under my t-shirt.
Jenny bit her bottom lip as she looked back into my eyes. She reached out a hand and moved a piece of hair behind my ear. She then leaned in close and took a deep breath. I could feel warm air in my ear and it sent chills through my body.
“We should get you to bed,” Jenny whispered gently.
The thought of Jenny putting me to bed caused my chills to be replaced by a burning desire. I found myself wishing she hadn’t meant it in the innocent way as I hopped into bed and crawled under the covers. I rolled onto my side so I was face to face with Jenny who was now kneeling beside my bed. She ran her hands through my hair as my eyes began to close. Soon I couldn’t fight it anymore and started to drift off to sleep. When I entered the space between wake and sleep, Jenny moved her hand from my hair onto my cheek. I felt her move in closer and place a kiss on my forehead.
“Goodnight Ror,” she whispered softly. “I hope you realize how much I care about you.”
All I wanted to do was open my eyes and ask her just how much she did care about me. I was desperate to know if she cared about me in the same way I cared about her. But I couldn’t fight the exhaustion and I fell asleep wondering if the feelings I thought I felt radiating in Jenny’s words were all just a dream.
Chapter 12
I woke up the next day to the sound of someone knocking lightly on my bedroom door.
“Come in,” I said groggily and looked up to see Jenny standing at the door, looking much more awake than I felt.
She laughed as I tried to fix my hair and wipe the drool off of my face. “Sorry to wake you sleeping beauty. The viewing starts in two hours, so your mom thought you would want to start getting ready.”
I yawned again. “I’m surprised you’re up. It’s only 6:00 in California. Can I make you a coffee or something?”
Jenny held up the mug that I hadn’t noticed in her hands. “I actually woke up about an hour ago.” I was about to open my mouth to apologize, but Jenny waved a hand at me. “Don’t worry about it. I was spending time with your mom. It was nice.”
The thought of Jenny and my mom bonding made me unreasonably happy. It felt like she was my girlfriend who was important enough to meet my parents and that she was killing it with her future in laws. Except that wasn’t the case at all. Jenny was just my friend. There was no future, aside from friendship. I was finding that I needed to remind myself of that more and more lately.
My thoughts were interrupted by a hand on my arm. I looked up to realize that Jenny was now leaning by my bed again, just like the night before.
“Are you ok?” She asked. “I was trying to talk to you and you completely zoned out.”
“Sorry. I’m still half asleep,” I lied.
She began to run her hand through my hair again and gave me a look I couldn’t quite identify. She sighed softly as she closed her eyes. “You’re irresistibly cute in the morning,” she admitted.
I looked into her eyes as she opened them back up, watching them shimmer as she stared down at me. I looked at her lips and thought about how easy it would be to shorten the gap between us and finally feel her lips against mine. Jenny’s eyes followed mine as if she was thinking the same thing.
“Girls,” my mom’s voice interrupted from downstairs. “I made some breakfast. You should eat something before we have to leave.”
Jenny quickly jumped up and reached her hand down toward me. Once I was standing beside her, she immediately dropped my hand. “I'm really sorry. I shouldn’t be flirting with you on the day of your grandparents’ funeral.”
“I mean do you know how not to flirt?” I tried to joke. “I didn’t think it was in your DNA to turn it off.”
The serious look didn’t leave Jenny’s face. “I mean it Rory. You’re my best friend. I wouldn’t want you to think that you’re just some girl that I like to sweet talk.”
Hearing Jenny call me her best friend made me feel equal parts ecstatic and disappointed. It warmed
me up inside knowing I was so important to her, but, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop myself from wanting to be important to her in a different way.
“Are you kidding me?” I asked with a slight laugh. “You flew across the country to come to my grandparents’ funeral. I don’t think you would do that just so you could come sweet talk me. What would you be sweet talking me for anyway?”
Jenny cleared her throat and looked toward the floor. “Oh um.. yeah.. I wouldn’t be. There would be no reason for that. We should get downstairs. Breakfast is going to get cold.”
I put my hand on her arm before she could walk away. “I like this shy side of you. It’s very endearing.”
Jenny finally smiled again and placed her pointer finger on my chin dimple. “Who is the flirt now?”
I shrugged. “What can I say? It helps keep my mind off of things.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Jenny said with a smirk and a wink, before making her way down the stairs to the kitchen. And just like that, she was back.
About twenty minutes before 11, we got into my mom’s car and headed to the funeral home. The next two hours were going to be spent doing a viewing where people could come and pay their respect, then the funeral would immediately follow.
The viewing seemed to drag by as countless people made their way down the line of my family and all said the same sort of thing about how sorry they were and how hard it must have been to lose both of them in such a short time. It was nice to see how many people cared about my family, but it was also exhausting. The only thing that helped get me through was when I would look over to the seat that Jenny was sitting in and she would flash me an encouraging smile. The butterflies that would gather in my stomach every time were enough to keep my mind occupied for at least a few seconds.
Todd arrived with his parents a few minutes before the funeral was starting. I gave them all hugs and kisses and told them how much I appreciated having them all there. It was true. Todd’s family had become like a second family to me through the years and his dad acted like much more of a father to me than my own, who had sent me his condolences through a text message. Jenny walked over and Todd introduced her. Jenny apologized for being partly at fault for their son moving across the country and we all laughed.
When it was time for the service to start, Jenny, Todd, and Todd’s parents started heading toward seats a few rows back so my family could have the front. I found myself missing both of them during the service and wishing I had them as the words of the pastor brought tears to my eyes.
At the end of the service, they announced that the family and close friends would head to the cemetery for the burial, but we would meet the rest of the guests at my aunt and uncle’s house for a cookout.
Todd’s parents volunteered to get things together at their house so my aunt and uncle didn’t have to worry about guests that would arrive before them. Todd followed us out to my mom’s car and said that he wanted to be there for the burial.
The pastor said a few more words and my tears returned as the two caskets were lowered into the ground. My mom took my hand and we leaned on each other. Then I felt someone else take my other hand. The size of the hand and the fact that the contact didn’t send a chill down my spine told me that it was Todd standing next to me. I squeezed his hand and forced a smile through my tears. I looked around at my family members and noticed that each of my aunts had their husband to lean on. I felt bad that my mom only had me. As I was watching my mom’s empty side, I saw Jenny step up beside her and grab her hand. A look of deep appreciation appeared on my mom’s face and I smiled over at Jenny to show her that I appreciated it as well.
After the funeral, we spent a few more hours entertaining guests at my aunt and uncle’s house. The atmosphere was much more relaxed than the funeral, but it was still hard to deal with the constant looks of pity, even if they did come from a good place. After dinner time, we were finally able to head home. I said goodbye to Todd and his parents, who had been nice enough to stick around for the whole day, then headed home with my mom and Jenny. The car ride was quiet as we all silently reflected on the day.
When we got home, my mom told us she was exhausted from the past week and was going to call it an early night. Before heading upstairs, she turned around and looked to Jenny. “You’re a really great person Jenny. I’m happy my daughter has you.”
Jenny looked between my mom and I and smiled. “That means a lot to me Mrs. Montgomery. But I’m the lucky one. Rory is the greatest friend a girl could ask for.”
I found myself cringing as she used the word friend again, but what did I expect? That’s what we were.
Once my mom was upstairs, I pulled Jenny into my arms. I couldn’t stop myself. It’s all I wanted to do all day. “Thank you so much for everything,” I whispered in her ear. “You’ve been so great to me and what you did for my mom at the burial was amazing.”
Jenny squeezed me tight. “You’re welcome. It was nothing though. I just felt like your mom could use a little extra support.”
I pulled back so I could look into Jenny’s eyes. “She did need the extra support, which is why you’re so amazing. You were able to sense that and you went out of your way to make her comfortable.”
Jenny shrugged her shoulders. “You mean a lot to me, so anything or anyone who is important to you, is important to me.”
She then took my chin in her hand and squeezed it. “Plus your thankful smile is just so darn cute.”
I raised an eyebrow at her. “What happened to the girl who apologized to me for flirting this morning?”
Jenny smiled slyly. “What can I say? I just can’t control myself around you. Also, you said it took your mind off of things and I feel like you need that.”
“More than you know,” I said, moving across the room to sit on the couch.
Jenny sat down beside me and we sat silently for a few minutes before I spoke up. “My grandma died of a heart attack. She was always in such good health, then she found out my grandpa was sick and she had a heart attack. She literally died of a broken heart. I can’t decide if that’s beautiful or tragic.”
Jenny grabbed my hand and I tried to ignore the feelings racing through me. “In a lot of situations, I’d say that’s tragic. I hate that love and loss can affect someone that much. But in your grandparents’ case, it’s actually pretty beautiful. I mean from what I’ve heard, they both lived long, happy lives. Now they get to be together in the afterlife as well. Not that it makes things any easier for you.”
“It does actually,” I confessed. “I’m happy to know that they are together. As much as it sucks losing both of my grandparents at once, I don’t think I could have dealt with watching one of them attend the other’s funeral. It would have been completely heartbreaking.”
“Can I ask you a question?” Jenny inquired, but continued before I could respond. “So to put it bluntly, it sounds like your parents had a super sucky relationship. And, understandably so, that turned you away from relationships. But it looks like the rest of your family has solid relationships and I mean your grandparents clearly had a fairytale romance. So why does your parents’ relationship trump what you’ve seen in all of these other relationships? I’m not judging. I’m just truly curious.”
I tried to think of a good reason, but quickly realized that I didn’t have one. “To be honest, I’m not sure,” I admitted. “Maybe because they are the two people who have the biggest impact on my life. And I mean, it’s not like I don’t believe in love. I’ve seen a lot of really beautiful relationships so I know how great it can be. Unfortunately, I also know how terrible it can be. The risk never seemed worthwhile. At least, that’s how I used to feel.”
I cringed when I realized I had said the last part out loud and prayed that Jenny didn’t notice.
She tilted her head in confusion. Of course she heard it. “What are you trying to say Rory?”
I tried to force a laugh. This certainly wasn’t the conversation I wanted t
o have right now or any time for that matter. “I’m not sure what I’m trying to say. I think all of the emotions are messing with my brain. I don’t know what I’m thinking.” When she didn’t look pleased with my answer I added, “I know one thing though. I’m not ready for you to leave tomorrow.”
Jenny sighed. “I know. I wish I could stay longer. I just have a lot going on at work right now.”
I nodded. “I completely understand that. I’m just thankful that you were able to come at all. It’s just hard not knowing when I’ll be seeing you next.”
Jenny’s eyes lit up a bit. “That actually reminds me. My sister got engaged a few months ago. Sorry I didn’t say anything. You were just so busy with work that I didn’t have the chance. But anyway, the wedding is in June and my sister said I could bring a guest. Ok, that’s a lie. She actually requested that I bring you. Apparently she thought you were really funny at John and Valerie’s wedding. I personally think she’s crazy, but hey, what can I do? Bride’s request!”
“I would love to Jenny,” I answered quickly.
“Are you sure?” She questioned. “If work is too busy, you don’t have to. You don’t seem overly excited about it.”
“Sorry, I am. I really am. I can’t wait. That’s the problem. I was just thinking how much this situation sucks. You know, seeing each other for just a few days then going months before we see each other again for a few more days,” I admitted.
“It does suck. But what can we do? We live on opposite sides of the country.”
We both sat in silence like we were contemplating the question and then a strange look came into Jenny’s face. “So I have a kind of crazy idea. Since you work from home anyway, what would you think about coming to California for a few weeks before the wedding? You could stay with your dad to get some extra time with him and then you and I would get to see each other a lot too. And it’s not like you’re choosing him over your mom since you’re not actually moving to California.”
I smiled at Jenny as my stomach did somersaults. “It sounds like you thought of everything. Except one little detail unfortunately. My dad and Monica are apparently going backpacking through Europe for three months starting in May. I thought that was something only people our age did, but whatever. Either way, he won’t be there. I’m sure he would let me stay at his house though.”