Broken and Beautiful

by Ryan, Kendall

  “I owe you nothing,” I scoffed.

  “Because of you and Salvatore, I spent six years up the river.”

  Jesus Christ, he sounded like a poor man's Don Corleone. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said to him, trying not to laugh in his face. I looked down at my suit, examined the lapels of my jacket. “Last I checked, I’m no fed. So I’d say there’s no way that I had anything to do with your trip to prison.” I shrugged. “Maybe you should have tried to be more law abiding.”

  His jaw worked as he tried to tamp down his own temper. At least I had an effect on him too. “I want something.”

  “Don’t we all?”

  He glared, and I shoved my hands into my pockets. “You’ll get it for me.”

  “That’s a pretty big assumption.” I feigned disinterest. Even started toward the door.

  “Your father was a stupid man. A stupid, stupid man.”

  I stopped, my brows dipped as I stared at Angelone. “I won’t argue with that.”

  “What he did to you got him killed.”

  The hairs on my neck stood at attention. “He killed himself.”

  The look was unimpressed, as if disappointed in my naiveté. He lifted a shoulder. “Whatever you say.”

  He knew something. I wasn’t going to give him any more information, if that’s what he wanted.

  “I think we’re done here.” I spun on my heel, but only made it two steps before he spoke.

  “The jaune.”

  Unease slithered through me even as I kept a neutral expression on my face. Donato and I had a buyer looking for the largest known canary diamond, the existence of which was only a rumor to most people. But I knew it was real, and where it was. How Angelone was aware we were negotiating to purchase it had my hackles up. And more than that, how did he know our code word for it?

  “I have no idea what you mean.” I feigned ignorance while my insides were churning with possibility. Did we have a rat? Or was the owner of the diamond playing me?

  He tilted his head to the side, face awash with disappointment. “Don’t play stupid with me, son. That’s straight out of your old man’s book.”

  My lip curled up in disgust. These insults were beneath me, yet they dug deep. I tried to let them bounce off, but he’d struck a nerve.

  “You’ve wasted both of our time.” I resumed my trek toward the door.

  Angelone placed a hand on my chest to stop me. I looked down at it and rose a brow in an are you sure you want to go this route gesture.

  “You. Owe. Me,” he reiterated.

  I sniffed. “No. I don’t.”

  “I want in on that diamond. I know you know where it is.”

  “It makes no difference to me what you think you know. Now get out of my warehouse.”

  “You will let me in on this deal,” he said, steel in his voice.

  “If there were a deal, I absolutely wouldn’t.”

  “I’ll be reasonable. I’ll only take half.” He glossed over my words as if I hadn’t spoken.

  My lip curved up in an insincere smile. “Enjoy your half of nothing.”

  I shoved past him, was nearly to the door when he spoke. “How about Donato? Is he nothing?”

  I stopped. “Next time you want something from me, play a better hand to get it.” I pretended as if Donato didn’t factor into anything. We both knew he did. I hated being backed into a corner, but if he continued down this path, it would be a tricky one to get out of.

  “There are many, many ways to make him suffer.” His stare penetrated and spoke of something he hadn’t voiced. “But if you work with me, I can make his situation go away.”

  “If you wanted to make him suffer, you’d have done it a long time ago.” There had been skirmishes over the years between the Salvatores and Angelones, but overall, they had remained remarkably civil. If either of them had wanted to get rid of the other, it could have been done a thousand times over. They weren’t allies, but they benefited from each other’s existence. Donato didn’t want a war, and I didn’t believe Angelone did either.

  “Very true, but I’ve refrained. Now I see no reason to.” His finger slid across his lower lip. “But maybe ensuring Donato’s well-being isn’t the right incentive for you. Maybe I should focus on Vivian and that other stunning woman who lives with you.”

  The way he spoke of them made me lunge for him. I grabbed the lapels of his jacket and shook. He grinned. I’d shown him my weakness. The number one rule, and I’d broken it.

  “It would be a shame to mar either of those pretty faces, but—” He shrugged, and I struggled not to kill him with my bare hands.

  “Do not threaten my family.” I shoved him and took slight satisfaction when he stumbled.

  “Let me in on the deal, and I’ll owe you.”

  That gave me pause. I could do with a man like Angelone owing me a favor. He didn’t hand those out easily. But I was trying to get out of this world. Somehow, I kept getting in deeper.

  Besides, didn’t he want in to settle the debt he believed I owed him? This reeked to high heaven. There was only one possible response.

  “Fuck you.”

  I stalked out to my car and cursed under my breath. I had a problem. A fucking whale of one.

  14

  Vivian

  Present

  “They’re so full of energy.”

  Kindergarteners buzzed around the playground at Saint Pius while Muriella and I ate our lunch.

  “That’s why I like being around them so much.” She gazed over them with a bittersweet smile, longing in her eyes.

  “I thought it was to get away from me,” I teased, desperate to do anything to take that look off her face.

  She threw a baby carrot at me. “Was I that obvious?”

  I stuck my tongue out at her. “Have you gotten used to being the aide for a teacher who used to be your student?”

  “It’s weird,” she admitted. “Hard to believe I knew her when she was five.”

  The young teacher was right in the middle of her students as they built a castle in the large sand pit.

  “They still asking you to come five days a week?” I dunked a slice of cucumber into the homemade hummus. Muriella had been a teacher’s aide at the church school for longer than I’d known her.

  “Always. I spoiled them those few years I did four, but three is all I can handle.” She pointed toward the dip. “I added a little more cumin. What do you think?”

  “Better than the store bought,” I answered honestly.

  She chewed thoughtfully, considering, before her expression turned serious. “Come back home with me. I don’t like you in that old apartment by yourself.”

  “I’m perfectly safe.”

  She cut her eyes over to mine. “You shouldn’t be alone. Not right now.”

  “I’m not. I’m with you.”

  “Smarty pants.” She wiped away a crumb that fell on my sleeve. “Besides, being close, Daniel couldn’t avoid you.”

  My stomach turned sour, and I set down my half-eaten pita chip. “Did she stay last night?” I held my breath, even though deep in my gut I already knew the answer.

  Muriella’s eyes turned sympathetic. “When I went up to take him breakfast, the apartment was empty. I checked the bedroom.” She shrugged unapologetically. “Only one side of the bed was unmade. There was a picture of the two of you on the nightstand.”

  I smiled to myself, knowing it was the one I’d put in his pillow case. This news made me feel marginally better.

  “I don’t want you to spy for me. I’m not going to pump you for information or put you in the middle. I just—I needed to know about her.” Unwelcome jealousy seared through me as I thought about Daniel taking that beautiful woman to our bed.

  “If it helps get you home, I’ll put a bugging device in his clothes. Now eat.” She picked up my abandoned pita chip and held it to my lips.

  I accepted, chewing slowly.

  Triumphant cheers came from the direct
ion of the playground. The kids had their teacher surrounded in the sand. She laughed as a little girl dumped a bucket of soft balls on top of her head.

  “Do they vacuum everybody off before they head back inside?” I pointed toward the scene, only imagining the mess all that sand would make.

  Muriella snorted. “They should. There’ll be a trail of sand through the school.” She smiled fondly at the children. “But they love that pit.”

  “Yeah, they do.”

  I pushed my plate away and patted my stomach. “I’m done. I can’t eat any more.”

  She eyed my empty paper plate and made a noise of satisfaction. “What time’s your meeting?”

  “Two.” I piled up the glass containers that held the remnants of our lunch and put them in the insulated bag I’d brought it in. “You have any mints?”

  M looked at me like I’d asked a silly question. She passed me her oversized tote. “In there.”

  I found the mints in a side pocket, exactly where they were supposed to be. But I also discovered something much more interesting.

  “Mind if I keep this?” I asked far too innocently, holding up her copy of the magazine with Stone on the cover.

  Her fingers tightened around a carrot stick, snapping it in half. “Don’t.”

  “Fine. Fine. I’ll just check it out now.” The pages of his spread were worn. My M couldn’t help herself from looking at him. “He is impressive on a horse.” There was a particularly great shot of him nose to nose with a chestnut mare. This photograph was exactly why women fell in love with him. Strong, with a hint of sensitivity.

  Muriella’s eyes filled with longing when she gazed down at the open magazine. They met mine, steel in them now. “According to that,” she said with disgust, “he’s on a shoot in Egypt.”

  “Daniel mentioned that a while back.” I chewed my mint, and M’s nostrils flared.

  “He’s talked to him?” She tossed her empty plate on top of mine.

  “Yeah. Stone thinks we should go back over and explore the pyramids again on our next trip.”

  She growled. “I thought he was too busy for us.”

  I fought a wicked smile. “I only know what I’m told.” Her glare was lethal, and I shivered in mock fear. “You don’t care anyway, right?”

  A noncommittal grumble escaped her.

  “Tribeca Film Festival is in April. At least we know we’ll see him then,” I said, unable to stop pushing.

  “That’s six months from now,” she said, her voice a rising protest. M snapped her mouth shut when she realized what she’d done.

  “I don’t know why you don’t just call him. Hell, text him. He hates that, but I guarantee he’d love to hear from you.”

  She finished cleaning up our lunch, quiet for a minute.

  “I can’t. You know why.”

  The understated pain in her voice was enough to shut me up. I wanted her to be happy. To find what Daniel and I had had. But I couldn’t stand to hurt her.

  “Yes, I know.” The subject of Stone was effectively closed.

  She checked her watch. “I’d better get back to it.”

  I stuck the magazine back in her purse and stood. “Thanks for lunch. We should do this again sometime,” I teased, like we didn’t meet nearly every day.

  She grinned and gave me a quick hug. “I’m open tomorrow.”

  I pointed at her. “I’ll hold you to it.”

  * * *

  The budget meeting with the director of Paths of Purpose went better than planned. We’d received a million-dollar donation anonymously that morning, which gave us lots of breathing room. My excitement was nothing compared to what it would have been under normal circumstances. A donation that size would have been worth celebrating, but I couldn’t muster up much enthusiasm.

  I went back to my small office in the new facility. I closed myself inside, mostly avoiding going back to the old apartment. There was work to be done, but I couldn’t concentrate. I just stared out the window without really seeing anything.

  Daniel was front and center in my thoughts. That was nothing new, but now it hurt to think of him, and I couldn’t get used to it.

  Why was I too chickenshit to confront him? He’d blindsided me, and I’d barely fought back. That wasn’t like me. I went after what I wanted, had learned to squash my fear and man up, so to speak. But I’d never been this afraid of anything before. I knew that deep down, I was scared shitless that Daniel really did want me out of his life. I was cowering in fear instead of leading the charge with guns blazing. As long as I avoided him, there was hope. Without closure, I could hang onto whatever delusions I could conjure up.

  But seeing him at the restaurant was like a death blow. It had been the best and worst part of my day, the contradiction tearing me apart. How is it that men have this ability to look better after they leave you? It was like they did it on purpose, and damn if it didn’t leave me wanting. This had been the longest stretch I’d gone without fucking since I’d been with Daniel. My last night at the apartment, I’d masturbated with his pillow under my hips so my scent would be all over it when he got home, but the orgasm didn’t have the potency of the ones he gave me. I was hungry for him. He’d created needs in me that only he could fill, made me vulnerable in that way.

  “On your knees.”

  Daniel gave the command the second we entered the bedroom. I immediately obeyed, filling with a warm desire, expectant of things to come as my knees hit the plush rug.

  “Hands behind your back.”

  I complied, crossing my wrists, my rear hitting the heels of my feet. I tilted my head back to look up at him. He radiated power in a three-piece suit while I was naked, my clothes shed at the front door by his order.

  “The last time I told you to keep your hands behind your back, you couldn’t do it. This time, I’m going to ensure you do.”

  Daniel unbuckled his belt, his movements deliberate as he slid it out of his pants. Goosebumps rose on my flesh as the leather whispered against the fabric. Then he was behind me, securing my wrists. The leather on my skin sent a shiver of excitement through me. I was bound tight enough that I was restrained, but if I wanted out, escape would be easy.

  When Daniel came back into my view, my breath faltered, and I licked my lips.

  “If you want my cock, you’ll have to get it out.”

  It was a challenge I was more than up for. I rose on my knees and took the fabric of his suit pants in my teeth, tugging so the button popped, the zipper lowered, and my prize was free. All mine.

  “Goddamn, Princess. You do want me.”

  I nodded and looked up at him, both of us pleased. His erect shaft taunted me. I admired how beautifully long and thick he was, well aware of what he could do.

  Daniel tapped my cheek twice. I opened my mouth, and he eased past my lips until the tip kissed the back of my throat. My eyes watered, stinging, as mascara ran into them.

  “One of my favorite looks,” Daniel said soothingly, swiping his thumb under my eye, staining the pad ink black.

  He thrust again as I dove for his cock, his pupils dilating at the sound that came from the back of my throat. Surrender to him brought a freedom I could never capture in another setting. There was nothing else in the world but us in these moments.

  “Take it deeper.”

  I opened my throat as he drove into my mouth again, my lips hitting the base of his shaft this time. He wound my hair around his fist, taking another ounce of control away from me. He held my head in place and fucked my mouth at his own leisurely pace. All I could do was open wide and accept the gift.

  “Tomorrow, every time you speak, you’ll remember who made you hoarse and how much you like having my cock down your throat.”

  I moaned around his thick length, squeezing my thighs together.

  He slid his foot between my knees, forcing them apart. “Did I say you could come?” he taunted me, and the pressure mounted at my center. When he took his cock out of my mouth, I whimpered at the
loss. Daniel pulled on my hair, my face now tilted straight up where he towered over me. “Don’t try to steal my orgasms, Princess. I know how wet you are right now. A little more friction, and you’ll explode.” I licked my lips, and his eyes flickered as if he were jealous of my tongue.

  When he pushed himself inside of my mouth again, he went so deep, I thought I’d swallow him whole. I closed my lips around him, letting my teeth scrape his length as he withdrew. He hissed, his hold on me tightening. He was close to release. I opened wider, eager to take him over.

  “Since I’m giving you the privilege of having me in your mouth, it’s only fair that when you come, it’s in mine,” he said. He was the one doing all the work, yet I was the one panting.

  Daniel made me feel as if I was the most precious thing on the planet. He’d once promised me he’d be able to make me come with only a look. And he could. There was a humility behind the power of his touch. He didn’t take for granted that I gave myself to him completely. It was a treasure, something he knew I would never give to another, and that fueled his love and desire for me.

  When he came, he released in violent spurts, hot and thick. I swallowed every drop, licking him clean, none of that precious desire going to waste. He groaned as I ran my tongue up and down his length, smirking at my cat-like smile of satisfaction when I finished.

  He slid to the floor and stretched out on his back. I lay on top of him, one of my favorite places to be. Daniel tugged on my hair, his authoritative tone in place when he spoke. “On my face.”

  I crawled until my center was positioned above him. Daniel pulled my hips down so my nether lips were on his. I had no choice but to surrender once more, to accept the pleasure, my hands still bound behind my back.

  He licked the seam between my lips, circled my clit, and slid into my opening. I cried out his name, and he French-kissed my sex in response. I bucked as his mouth possessed me, Daniel holding me still, digging into the flesh of my hips. With a squeeze, he gave me permission to come, and that’s all it took for me to detonate around him. He didn’t drag it out or make me wait. I was so ready the slightest touch had me falling into bliss.