Broken and Beautiful

by Ryan, Kendall

  My chest constricted, and if my hands hadn’t been planted in my pockets, I would have reached to comfort her. “I don’t know what you mean,” I said impassively.

  “Move on so quickly to someone else.” Vivian wrapped her arms around her middle. To protect herself. From me.

  The urge to roar up at the sky to the gods who undoubtedly didn’t give a shit about me or what I wanted became overwhelming. When I started this, I knew I would hurt her and that it would kill me. I had no idea it would feel like metal blades constantly grinding my gut.

  You have to do this. For her.

  “She’s lovely, isn’t she?”

  Vivian shrunk in on herself, and I wanted to jump over the railing into the river.

  “You love me. I know you do.” I couldn’t ever remember hearing her sound so uncertain despite her words. My love was the one thing she should never doubt. Except I couldn’t correct her.

  “We had a good thing. But this is better for you.”

  “Better for me?” She straightened, her voice rising. Relief filled me at seeing some of her fight back.

  I sighed and cut my eyes to the side. “We’ve already been through this.”

  She stuck an unmanicured finger into my chest. “Don’t act like you’re bored.”

  “Vivian.” Muriella’s soothing voice came from behind her, a hand on Vivian’s shoulder in support. “Everything okay?” Regret instantly filled Muriella’s eyes at the question.

  “No. Everything is not okay.” Vivian fired a pointed look in my direction. I know it’s my fault, Princess. I know.

  Muriella’s lethal glare focused on me. “Aren’t you supposed to be out of town?”

  “Yes.” I didn’t elaborate. Everything else that was going on was bad enough, but my attorney requiring I meet him in Connecticut and then rescheduling on short notice because it ‘wasn’t a good time’ for his wife was just more shit luck. “My meeting was cancelled,” I finally admitted, unable to stand upsetting either one of them.

  We stood there in an awkward silence, Vivian folded in on herself, and Muriella looking a half a second away from killing me. “Haven’t you done enough?”

  “Dinner at seven?” I glazed over her furious question. Both of their mouths parted slightly.

  Muriella stepped toward me, crowding me against the railing. It didn’t matter that she had to tilt her head back to see me. The woman was looking down on me, making me feel about two inches tall.

  “Your dinner is at seven. Do not bring that girl into my home. And if she’s at yours expecting me to feed her, forget it.”

  I fought to keep my eyes from growing too wide. It was easy to forget Muriella had a bite to her, even though I’d been on the receiving end far too often lately.

  I plastered a serene smile on my face. “Then I guess we’ll be going out.” I pushed off the railing, forcing Muriella to step back. “And that girl has a name. Giselle. You will treat her with respect.”

  “I will have nothing to do with her. Nothing. Am I clear?”

  “She’s not going anywhere.”

  Vivian staggered back, and Muriella caught her by the waist. “Stop this nonsense, Daniel. Make this right. Don’t take away the only family any of us has.”

  I had to get away. I couldn’t take both of them coming at me. “You need to accept my choices,” I said levelly.

  “And you need to listen when the people who love you warn that you’re making a mistake. The biggest one of your life,” Muriella said with authority.

  I strode away from them without another word. No one needed to tell me the gravity of my mistakes. I knew better than anyone. A valuable lesson had been learned today. I needed to avoid close contact with Vivian at all costs. Or I was going to do more damage than I could repair.

  20

  Vivian

  Present

  “Fuck.”

  I walked past the address I’d found for Donato Salvatore and discovered it was a well-secured apartment building on Central Park South. There was no way I would be able to go inside and ring the bell to his front door.

  “Double fuck.”

  What other choice did I have? I’d looked for a phone number, but that had led to a dead end. Seeing Daniel earlier today had only strengthened my resolve. Every day that passed without him was another he slipped further away. As I was strategizing how to charm my way past the doorman, a man exited the building and walked to the curb as if to hail a taxi. He drew my attention immediately. He wore a very elegant designer suit, and had a strong build and handsome features. But there was something about him that was a notch or two short of distinguished.

  As he looked down the street, his gaze pulled to mine. His eyes were hard, and they filled with recognition upon seeing me. He strode over to me. “I have been waiting for this day a long time.”

  I took a step back, instinct telling me to get this man out of my personal space. “I’m sorry I can’t say the same,” I returned, and he grinned, though it was wolf-like.

  “You have no idea who I am, Vivian?”

  A chill ran down my spine as I struggled to recognize him. I didn’t know this man, of that I was certain. “I think you’re mistaken.” I started past him, uneasy. I’d gone looking for trouble and found it.

  “Daniel and I have an unspoken agreement that you’re off limits, but seeing as you’re on my turf…” He motioned to the building.

  Could this be Donato? It seemed impossible that the very man I’d come for had materialized. Definitely Italian. Up close, he was intimidating. Sharply dressed. But there was something about him I didn’t trust.

  “Donato?” I asked, and his smile broadened.

  “You do know who I am.” He sounded surprised, yet his eyes were victorious. I’d always pictured Donato as an older man, but perhaps that was my way of imagining him as a father figure for Daniel.

  “Yes,” I said shyly. I understood why Daniel didn’t want me around him. But if he thought Donato was one of the good guys, I was going to have to take a risk and trust him. “Actually, I was just coming to see you. About Daniel.”

  His eyes held more interest than concern, but I was thrown by him. He simply wasn’t what I was expecting.

  “Why don’t we go have a cup of coffee?” he offered. “I know a good place around the corner.”

  I had the feeling I was expected to agree, but suddenly the meeting I’d come here for didn’t seem like such a great idea.

  “Or do we need something stronger?” he asked when I didn’t answer right away.

  “Stronger. Definitely stronger.”

  The bar Donato selected was a quiet Irish pub. He ordered whiskey for both of us after we settled into a booth away from the few other patrons.

  He took a sip of his drink and relaxed in his seat, waiting for me to open the conversation. Since I was the one who’d come looking for him, I obliged, though it felt like a power tactic.

  “Has anything happened lately? With business?” Dark eyes narrowed as if I’d already stepped over a line. I held up a conciliatory hand. “I don’t mean specifically. Just something that would upset Daniel.”

  Donato’s gaze warmed. “Lots of things upset him,” he returned vaguely, and for a second, I thought I heard a twinge of bitterness. “What’s happened that would make you come looking for me?”

  I hesitated. Go for broke. It was a motto I’d embraced all my adult life. “He’s left me. I don’t know why.”

  He leaned forward. “Left you?” Donato cocked his head as if he hadn’t heard correctly.

  “Yes,” I whispered as pain lanced through my chest.

  “And he gave no reason?” His eyes held intrigue, not the worry I’d expect from a man who considered Daniel like a son.

  “No.”

  “But it’s finished?”

  I pressed my lips together. Hadn’t I made that perfectly clear? Yet he seemed to want a solid confirmation.

  “So he says.” I refused to admit defeat. In my heart, Daniel and I w
ould never be finished.

  Donato sat back and took a long swallow of his drink. I shifted uncomfortably against the hard wood of the bench seat.

  He tapped his glass a few times, that discerning gaze focused on me. “You need my help.”

  “I hoped you’d have some insight.”

  One side of his mouth curled up in the semblance of a smile. “I suppose this explains his mood of late.”

  “Is there anything? Something that would make him act this way?” I asked in desperation. I’d come to find answers. I didn’t know if there were any here, but I was determined to get something.

  Donato traced the rim of the tumbler, deciding just what he would tell me.

  “There are some things from the past,” he said vaguely. “Old business. New business.” He waved his hand in the air as if this explained everything.

  “Is he in trouble?” My mind immediately sharpened on the worst.

  He looked at me lazily. The man knew something. “Information comes at a price,” he finally said.

  “I’ll pay it. Whatever the cost.” I realized it was a mistake to lay my desperation out, but my mouth opened with the truth before I could stop it.

  “It’s unfortunate Daniel doesn’t appreciate your loyalty.” He tossed the rest of his drink back, and slammed the glass on the table. “Tell me what you know of his father’s death.”

  I straightened and clamped my lips shut while I controlled my surprise that this subject had come up and considered how to handle it. Daniel would hate that I was here discussing this with his friend. But if this was the key to what was happening, I had to do it. For him. For us.

  I cleared my throat. “He committed suicide.”

  “Is that what Daniel told you?” I didn’t like the insinuation in his voice. Like Daniel had lied to me. “Because the cause of death most definitely wasn’t a suicide.”

  I downed a large gulp of my whiskey, my senses heightened. This essentially confirmed what I’d seen in the autopsy, but that report had been hidden by Daniel for years. “How do you know that?”

  He looked as if he expected better of me but indulged me anyway. “I watched it happen.”

  My brow pinched, and I gripped my glass with both hands. “Who?”

  Donato again looked disappointed, like I should have been smart enough to answer that question.

  “You’re an intelligent girl, with that accounting degree. I know you can put two and two together.” I stared, willing him to say more, something that would immediately halt the path my mind had gone down. “Don’t look at me like I’m to blame. Truthfully, the world is a much better place without that cocksucker.” He cleared his throat and gave me an apologetic smile. “Pardon my language.” It was as disingenuous an apology as I’d ever heard.

  This man was a master at talking yet not really saying anything. He’d steered me to the conclusion that Daniel was involved in his father’s murder. I couldn’t help but follow the path, despite my instincts screaming at me not to.

  My stomach churned with the possibility that Daniel had carried this burden for all these years. He was rightly sensitive about anything related to his father, and I hated the thought of him shouldering this alone when he could have confided in me.

  I looked at him incredulously. “So he is in trouble?”

  “Ever heard less is more, as in the less you know the better?” He was too calm, as if he hadn’t just dropped a bomb on me.

  I leveled him with my gaze. “Not when it comes to Daniel.”

  He grinned and inclined his head toward me. “You’ve got fire. I like that.” His phone interrupted with a text. “I have to go.” He slid out of the booth and stood, gazing down at me. “Remember that information comes at a price. If I need you, I’ll be in touch.”

  I sat in stunned silence for a moment after he left. He hadn’t come out and said Daniel murdered his father, but he’d sure as hell implied it. And the autopsy I’d found clearly indicated that someone did.

  I didn’t know why, but maybe after all these years Daniel had had a crisis of conscience. That had to be the catalyst for his unusual behavior. But what did that have to do with me?

  I shoved up from the booth, fumbling in my haste to grab my purse. My steps were wobbly as I rushed toward the exit. I pushed the door open and squinted when the sunlight hit my eyes, temporarily disoriented.

  When my vision cleared, I saw that Donato stood down the block with his back to me, hand waving beside him as he spoke on the phone.

  “…Not protected anymore.” I overheard as I approached. He was silent as the person on the other end of the line spoke, then he continued. “Oh, he gives a fuck. Trust me, we can use this. He’ll have no choice but to cooperate.”

  He spun, and I froze, trying to keep a guilty look off of my face. His was absolutely sinister. “I seem to be the one solving all the problems,” he continued into the phone without taking his gaze off me. “If you want this partnership to continue, do something useful.”

  He ended the call and slipped his phone back into his pocket.

  “Less is more, Vivian. Less is more.”

  Donato clucked his tongue and strolled away. If he believed I’d leave this alone and let Daniel fend for himself…I stared after him.

  More is more, motherfucker. More is more.

  21

  Vivian

  Eight Years Earlier

  This time when the plane came to a stop, I didn’t even unfasten my seatbelt, fairly certain this was just another pause to refuel.

  “You coming, or do you want to stay here?” Daniel asked, standing. I gave him a withering look as I popped out of my seat and stretched.

  “We’re really here?” I couldn’t wait to see this mystery place.

  An official boarded the plane. “Kia ora, Miss DeGraw. Mr. Elliott,” he said.

  I did mental calculations in my head. I knew roughly how long the flight should be and the time difference. It all added up. But it couldn’t be…

  “Kia ora,” I returned, hoping that was the correct response.

  “Welcome to New Zealand,” he said.

  I fought the urge to tackle Daniel, I was so happy. I couldn’t believe he was making my dream come true.

  “I need to see your documentation, and then you two can be on your way.”

  I nodded, words completely escaping me as I stared at Daniel. Hot damn. We were in New Zealand.

  My attention was totally shot. I barely heard anything the nice customs officer said, hoping I gave the appropriate responses at the correct times. In a few minutes, he was gone. I’d been trying to play it cool with Daniel for two months, but I threw that out the window. I got a running start and jumped him.

  He was completely caught off guard but somehow managed to catch me as I threw my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist.

  “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” I squeezed my limbs around him, and his arms tightened around my back.

  “It’s not forever,” he warned, and I popped my head up from where it was resting on his shoulder to look at him. “We’re only here through New Year’s.”

  “Daniel. I can’t be gone for two weeks.” Suddenly all the excitement about being in the place I’d always dreamed of visiting lost its allure as reality set in.

  “Yes, you can,” he returned.

  “Elaborate,” I demanded.

  “I didn’t hear a please, Vivian.” This was not a time to be teasing, and I growled. He grinned.

  “Please,” I said through my teeth.

  “Hamerstein is taking the next few weeks off for the holidays, so he agreed it would be the perfect time for you to be away. He said you’ve earned it, and there wasn’t really much he could teach you if he wasn’t going to be in the office.” He shrugged.

  “Daniel.” I swallowed my pride to get out what I needed to say. “I can’t afford to be off for two weeks. I’m supposed to be at work in less than twenty-four hours.” Disappointment washed through me. “I have to go
back to New York.” Those were some of the hardest words I’d ever spoken. He’d gone to all this trouble to get me here, I was only a staircase away from setting foot on New Zealand soil, but I wasn’t going to make it. Not this time.

  He tucked my hair behind my ear and gave me a sweet smile. “It’s a paid vacation, Vivian.”

  I let out a long breath. I didn’t like that he’d gone behind my back and meddled in my job, but I wanted to stay. “I want to speak to Mr. Hamerstein myself.”

  “I don’t think now is a suitable hour, but when it is, you can use my cell.”

  I nodded but kept my expression serious. “Do not ever mess with my career again,” I threatened, and he tried to keep a straight face but failed miserably. “I mean it, Daniel. I’ve worked too hard for you to swoop in and fuck it all up.”

  His expression darkened. I remained unwavering. “I would never do anything to compromise your success, Vivian.”

  We were in a stare-off for what seemed like an eternity before I finally nodded. “I mean it,” I reiterated, shoving my finger into his chest.

  He grabbed it, eyes flashing. “So do I.”

  My head didn’t stop bobbing as we rode in the back of an SUV to Auckland. We drove on the wrong side of the road, with some woman on the radio singing that she didn’t feel like dancing. Well, I sure as hell did.

  “Excuse me, sir,” I said to our driver, whose eyes flitted to mine in the rearview mirror. “Do you know what this song is?”

  “It’s ‘I Don’t Feel Like Dancin’’’ by the Scissor Sisters.”

  “Thank you. Would you mind turning it up, please?” The driver increased the volume, and I couldn’t help but move to the music. “See what you’ve been missing out on by only riding the subway with me?” I asked Daniel, who was watching me with his head cocked.

  “As I recall, you refuse to get in a car with me,” he said, technically right.

  “Guess times have changed,” I mused. “Where are we going? Or is everything still top secret?” I sang a few words of the chorus.