Mail Order Millie

by Cheryl Wright

  “Dear Millie,” he said gently. “You did nothing. I behaved like a letch and deserve everything you throw at me.”

  He unlocked the door, and entered the house, then put her gently to her feet. The movement sent her off-kilter and the room tilted.

  He reached out and steadied her.

  Almost the moment she was stable, her stomach lurched. She clutched it and ran toward the bathroom.

  “Millie?”

  She couldn’t afford to turn back or he might wear her supper.

  After she’d vomited until she could vomit no more, she washed her face with cold water, then rinsed the foul taste from her mouth. It was becoming a habit.

  Millie stared at her pale reflection in the mirror. This should be the happiest time of her life, but it had become abhorrent to her.

  She fixed her wind-blown hair and made herself more presentable, brushing down the creases from her gown.

  “Millie?” Daniel tapped at the door. “May I come in?”

  “No.” She could only imagine his reaction at her demanding he leave her alone. In his house. “I’ll be out shortly.”

  “As long as you’re alright.”

  Was she? At this very moment Millie thought she was. “I’m fine. I promise.”

  She heard his footfalls as he returned to the sitting room, and breathed a sigh of relief.

  Tonight was going to be difficult – for both of them – but it was something that had to be done.

  She couldn’t stay beyond tonight if he rejected her. Both Mrs Baker and Mrs Davis offered Millie a roof over her head if it came to that.

  Neither woman believed it would, which was a comfort.

  She slowly opened the door and headed toward where Daniel was waiting. He turned as she entered the room. “You still look pale,” he said, reaching out to touch her cheek.

  She pulled out of his reach and he flinched. “I’m sorry,” he said, staring at the floor. “I should never had taken my fill of you while you were naked in the bath. It was very wrong of me.”

  She almost laughed. Is that what he thought?

  “Oh no,” she said gravely. “This is far worse than that. It is what I have done to you, not the other way around.”

  He frowned, his confusion evident.

  “You’ve done nothing to me.” He stood his ground, and it was gallant, but far from the truth.

  “Daniel, sit down. Please.”

  She began to pace the room, praying her stomach would not churn up yet again.

  “Only if you do. You look fair ready to fall over.” He guided her to a chair, then sat opposite, studying her face. “You’re obviously unwell. I’ll call the doctor tomorrow. Tonight if you think it’s needed.”

  She almost laughed at that. What would the doctor do? Confirm what she believed to be true?

  “I’m sorry,” she said more calmly than she thought was possible. “I honestly didn’t know. And it’s not confirmed so may not be true. But I’m almost certain it is.”

  He stared at her, confusion written all over his face. It seemed to be his new regular expression. Tonight anyway, and who could blame him? She was babbling, she knew she was.

  “Confirm what?” He shook his head. “None of this is making sense. What are you saying, Millie?”

  She moved to the edge of her seat and spoke slowly. “What did the mail-order bride agency tell you about me?”

  He edged closer. “They sent a telegraph asking if they could send you immediately. Told me your name and age and that it was imperative.”

  Her heart thundered in her chest. “That was it?”

  “Millie,” he said urgently. “You must tell me what is going on. Please. You’re scaring me.”

  He was scared? He had no idea how terrified she was right at this minute.

  “Daniel,” she said gently. “I’m a widow. My husband of only three months was killed two weeks before I arrived here.”

  He leaned back in his chair, running his hands through his hair. He glanced up at her, but didn’t say a word.

  “That’s not the worst of it,” she said firmly. “I think I’m with child,” she whispered. Her voice was so low she wasn’t convinced he even heard her. “I didn’t know, I promise. It’s all such a mess.” Tears ran down her face.

  His head shot up and he suddenly stood. He went to the window and stared out into the darkness.

  Her heart felt like that right now – black – with no way out.

  After standing there for what seemed hours, he spun around to face her, then rubbed his fingers over the stubble on his chin.

  “I guess this changes everything.”

  Daniel stormed out of the room and headed for the spare room, leaving her to sleep alone and ponder her future.

  Daniel lay under the covers for some hours, but hadn’t slept a wink.

  He liked Millie, he really did. Loved her in fact. Had he known she was a widow, with a possibility of being with child, he would have said a resounding no to accepting her as his wife.

  He squeezed his eyes tight and pondered that thought.

  Would he? Would he really have turned her away? A woman in desperate need after falling on hard times through no fault of her own?

  It did change everything. The words he’d uttered before storming out of the room were correct, but he didn’t need to sound so harsh about it.

  It was not Millie’s fault she’d found herself in this situation.

  His mind went back to his sister, Alison. She was traveling here after her husband was jailed for killing a man in self-defense. But the judge hadn’t seen it that way and she’d lost everything, including her marriage.

  She’d done what she had to do, and that meant uprooting herself and leaving her husband to rot in jail. Her child was due to be born in little more than two months after her husband’s incarceration. He’d lost them both in the accident.

  That lump in his throat seemed to grow bigger by the minute.

  He threw the covers back and headed to the kitchen in nothing but his drawers, since he’d banished himself to the spare room. His robe and nightgown were in the master bedroom, which he’d effectively handed over to Millie.

  As he walked past the room they should be sharing, he heard her stifled sobs. This was all his fault. If he hadn’t been so quick to judge, perhaps they wouldn’t be in this situation now.

  No! They wouldn’t be in this situation, that was a certainty. His ego had been damaged and he’d taken it out on Millie.

  It wasn’t only cruel, it was a dastardly thing to do to anyone, let alone his wonderful wife.

  He tapped lightly on the door and the crying stopped. “Millie?” She didn’t answer so he opened the door slightly and poked his head around. His heart thudded at the sight before him.

  She was curled up into a ball on top of the bed. His heart ached. He did this to her. His insides clenched at the thought. “Millie? I’m sorry...I didn’t think.”

  She opened her eyes to look at him briefly then closed them again.

  “May I join you?” His heart clenched – he was certain she would refuse him.

  Her eyes opened wide, scanning his bare chest this time, then closed again. “It’s your bed.” She straightened out then climbed under the covers, turning her back on him.

  Perhaps that was her way of distancing herself from her half-naked husband.

  Did that offend her?

  He scooped up his robe and put it on. The last thing he wanted was to offend her more and inadvertently distance them even further.

  Daniel wasn’t sure what the appropriate action was in these circumstances, but he needed to console his wife, that much was certain.

  Laying next to her on the bed, he reached out and touched her cheek. “I’m truly sorry,” he said gently. “It was the last thing I expected to hear, and...” He took a steadying breath. “It really threw me.”

  She nodded, so at least he knew she was listening.

  “None of this is your fault.” He stroked
her hair and she shuffled a little closer to him.

  “Would you have taken me if you’d known I was a widow?” Her voice was soft, almost inaudible, and she was obviously still upset.

  “Honestly? On the spur of the moment I don’t know.” His hand stilled. “I’d like to think I would have.”

  He heard her sigh. Was that a good or bad sign? He had zero experience in these things. Or with women in general. He fervently wished Mrs Baker and Mrs Davis were here to advise him. They seemed to have helped Millie.

  She slowly turned to face him. “What do we do now? Get an annulment?” Tears filled her eyes and he felt like a heel. “I wouldn’t blame you.”

  Did she think so little of him? That he would evict her because of her situation? A predicament she had absolutely no control over.

  Her words cut through his heart and he asked the difficult question. “Is that what you want? An annulment?”

  Millie shook her head. “Only if you do. I couldn’t bear to have you hate me or the baby. An annulment would be better than that.”

  She rolled over and began to quietly cry again. Daniel slid under the blankets next to her, the cold air finally getting to him. But more, he wanted to be close to her, to comfort her.

  He slid his arm around her waist, expecting Millie to push it away, instead she gripped his onto his arm like there was no tomorrow.

  Chapter Five

  Millie woke up with Daniel’s arm still around her waist. It felt good, but she felt guilty at thinking this way.

  Cody had always slept like this, but he’d pulled her much closer to him. His warmth and strong body was always a comfort.

  When she’d seen Daniel in only his drawers last night, it had reminded her so much of her lost husband, and her guilt began to eat away at her.

  She shouldn’t have done this. She should have stayed a widow and not married. No one would have blamed her, but the nagging question was how she would have supported her child.

  If she and Daniel got an annulment, that same question would be at the back of her mind. Was at the back of her mind.

  What was she going to do?

  She slipped out of bed and snatched up her robe, then headed toward the kitchen. She added some fuel to the fire, then filled the kettle.

  It was time to start Daniel’s breakfast.

  She collected eggs and a thick piece of bacon from the pantry. Would she be able to stomach the smell today?

  Millie decided to play the good wife until her husband decided to kick her out or organize an annulment. He’d likely do that today.

  She sliced enough bacon for the two of them, and threw it in the frying pan with a lump of lard. Daniel entered the kitchen as the smell of cooking food reached her senses.

  She almost knocked him over as she bolted.

  His eyes burned into her back momentarily, and she hoped he would take care of the sizzling bacon.

  Tears filled her eyes as she emptied her stomach. It hurt so much to think she’d come this far only to be sent away again.

  What decent man would accept another man’s child? There would be an uproar, especially from the women of the town. She’d seen it before. Knew of it first hand.

  Her mother had been in a similar situation. Her father – her real father – had taken advantage of her mother, then fled, leaving her in a dire predicament. The man she’d married knew of her situation, and married her regardless.

  They’d been childhood friends and he’d loved her from a distance, but stepped up when it mattered. Otherwise Millie would have been handed to her grandmother to bring her up as her own child.

  Millie shivered. She was glad that had never happened. Grandmother had always treated her as an outsider.

  “Feeling better?” Daniel stood in the doorway, watching her return.

  “A little. Until the next round.” She stepped into the kitchen and the smell overtook her again.

  Daniel frowned. “Is it the smell?” he asked, totally clueless.

  “Yes,” she yelled, holding her stomach and running.

  When she returned, he’d cooked the food and dished it up onto two plates. He’d placed the frying pan in the sink and poured boiling water over it. He’d even opened the window to remove as much of the cooking smells as possible.

  That was sweet.

  “Thank you,” she said, looking around. “But you can’t do that every day.”

  He indicated for her to sit, and placed a mug of tea in front of her. “There’s no reason I can’t,” he said firmly. “At least until you can cope with the smells again.”

  “And what of the annulment?”

  He straightened his back. “Is that what you want?” He suddenly seemed angry.

  She took a sip of her tea. “It’s far from what I want, but I have to think of you and how this will affect your standing in the community.”

  His hands fisted at his sides. “You are my wife,” he said between gritted teeth. “And I will look after you. Let’s hear no more talk of an annulment right now.”

  Right now? Did that mean it was a possibility down the track? Millie was no better off than she was last night. And she still didn’t know whether she would be staying in Grand Falls or being sent away.

  She took a small bite of her food and swallowed. It felt like cardboard in her throat. She took a sip of tea to help it down, and looked at her husband over the mug.

  The best thing she could do for him was to leave quietly, never to be seen again.

  Daniel stared out the window of his office, his heart breaking.

  He loved Millie dearly, and he’d behaved abominably to her news. It devasted him to think he’d reacted so badly.

  Mrs Francis hovered around, aware something was wrong, but not willing to ask what. She handed him a coffee, then retreated.

  It tasted like dirt. Serve him right.

  He continued to stare, seeing nothing until he spotted Millie walking along the side-walk toward the diner.

  He should have know she’d run to Mrs Baker. They seemed to have become quite close. When did that happen?

  She turned back and gazed toward his building. His heart clenched at the sight of a suitcase in her hands.

  Was she leaving him?

  He bolted out the door and ran toward her, not even bothering to grab his coat. Millie was the best thing to happen to him. Since her arrival he’d had joy in his heart again. Before she came, he was simply going through the paces.

  She’d made him smile again, gave him a reason to get out of bed. And she’d shown him that money wasn’t the only thing worth having.

  Love was far more important.

  He’d almost caught up when Mrs Baker opened the door to the diner. It was far too early for the diner to be operating, and he frowned.

  Had they made a prior arrangement? That set his blood boiling.

  He stormed up the steps to the diner and pounded on the door. Mrs Baker peered through the glass at him, indicating he should go away.

  He had no intention of leaving. “I want to see my wife,” he said gruffly.

  She turned her head away and he could hear muffled words but couldn’t make them out. When the door was opened, he stormed inside, looking about for his wife.

  “I expected better of you than this, Daniel,” Mrs Baker said, her tone admonishing.

  He couldn’t deny the truth of her words – he expected better of himself.

  Millie sat near the fire, her head lowered, her hands reaching out for the heat. He slowly made his way toward her, not wanting to appear overbearing.

  “Millie,” he said quietly.

  She looked up at him, but didn’t speak. Her eyes were red rimmed, and he knew it was entirely his fault. “Come home. Please?” He was willing to beg her to return home, he loved her so much. “I’m a fool, and we both know it.”

  She stared at him, not saying a word. Would she ever forgive him?

  Mrs Baker interrupted him. “Yes, you are a fool. A far bigger fool than I ever imagine
d.”

  She wasn’t wrong. “Millie,” he said, ignoring the harsh words. “You’re my wife. I promise to take care of you and the baby.”

  She turned away from him and his heart seemed to stop.

  “Oh for goodness sakes, Daniel. You’re an intelligent man. Say the words Millie needs to hear.” She spun around and left them alone.

  The words she wanted.... Oh! “I love you, Millie. More than you’ll ever know.” When she looked at him again, tears were flooding her face. He pulled her into his arms, and he never wanted to let her go again.

  SIX MONTHS LATER...

  Millie awoke to the worst pain she’d ever experienced in her life. Daniel’s arm was wrapped around her protruding belly as he slept.

  “Daniel,” she whispered. When he didn’t respond she yelled. “Daniel!” He was startled awake. “Get the doctor – I think the baby is coming.”

  He abruptly sat up and pulled on his breeches. “What can I do?” She almost laughed at his panicked state. She probably would have if she hadn’t been in so much pain.

  They’d had plenty of time to prepare for this day, but she knew he’d be like this. His calm and collected exterior didn’t fool her one little bit.

  “Don’t forget to tell Mrs Baker on your way back.” He propped her up on some pillows trying to make her more comfortable, but nothing was going to work.

  She winced and he stared. “Doctor, right. Mrs Baker. Right.” He ran in a little circle before he left the room.

  Poor Daniel. He’d spent the last few months turning the spare room into a nursery. He’d built a crib, and bought every possible toy he could think of, not to mention more clothes than one baby could ever wear.

  Millie had already donated most of them to their local church. She knew they would be very much appreciated by those in need.

  Intense pain hit her as she heard the front door open. She prayed it would be Doctor Spencer. Instead Daniel ran in with Mrs Baker close on his heels.

  “Put water on to boil, Daniel,” she demanded. “Lots of it, then leave.”

  He looked so forlorn and very defeated. “Where’s Millie,” she heard the doctor call out from the front of the house.