Where Petals Fall

by Melissa Foster

  “If this has to do with Ellen, then I want to hear it up there.” Junie couldn’t believe the words that came from her mouth. She forced herself up the hill, leaving Brian and Peter to trail behind. She felt pulled to the garden by something bigger than all of them. Memories of Ellen came rushing back—not the sad, dismal memories of recent days, but the happier memories, of birthday parties and riding bikes.

  She walked through the bushes and into the backyard. The unkempt garden lay before her, a wild and weed-filled mess. Junie stared at it, wondering what answers it held. She heard their footsteps approaching from behind and tensed the muscles in her legs, determined not to crumble under the weight of whatever confession Brian might give.

  She thought of Brian, their love, their life. She loved him. She did. There was no doubt in her mind about that love. But the conundrum of their lives, and of Ellen’s disappearance, had sent their relationship awry and even scared her. She thought of Sarah, sweet Sarah, whose innocence had somehow been stolen. Tears dripped down her cheeks.

  She turned to face Brian, then had to look away. She had no idea what she’d be dealing with in the moments to come, and she wasn’t sure she could trust her eyes not to betray her thoughts.

  “Okay,” she said in a thin voice. “Tell me everything. Please.”

  She listened to Brian suck in a long breath, then blow it out slowly. She stared down at her shoes, concentrating on a speck of dirt, the grass flattened around the garden—a path. She concentrated on anything to keep from hearing what Brian had to say. Maybe if she concentrated hard enough, it would go away. Poof! Like whatever it was had never even happened.

  “I’m not sure how to start,” Brian said.

  She could feel him looking at Peter, drawing strength from him. She imagined Peter pulling himself up to his full height, putting his protective arms around his son. She knew it killed Peter that Brian wouldn’t allow it, and she didn’t care.

  “Ellen—”

  “Wait.” Junie interrupted. “I’m not sure I’m ready. I need to hear about Sarah. What happened to Sarah?”

  She waited. The silence was deafening.

  “That was all me, Junie.” Peter stood beside her. “I didn’t want to cause any trouble between you and Brian, that’s all. I didn’t know I would frighten her so badly, and then, once I learned of what had happened, well, Brian and I don’t talk very often, so by the time I heard, I didn’t know what to do. I thought maybe she’d snap out of it.” He reached for Junie’s arm.

  She went rigid beneath his touch. Her voice shook when she spoke. “What happened? I don’t understand what you said to her, or what happened.”

  “She was digging in the garden, and she found an earring of Ellen’s.”

  “The hoop.” Of course. Sarah had been fascinated with Kayla’s earring because it had been identical to the one she’d found. Ellen’s. Ellen. Oh God. Ellen. Junie’s eyes shot to the mangled garden. Her chest felt as though it might explode, constricting and throbbing in tandem.

  “Yes, the hoop.” He folded his hands together, then put them in his trouser pockets.

  “But why would that cause problems for me and Brian?” She looked up at Peter, saw the tears welling in his eyes. She turned to Brian, who looked as if he might be sick. His face had become ashen; the sparkle in his eyes faded. He looked empty.

  “June, there’s something you need to know.” Tears streamed down his cheeks. “Ellen—” He choked on his words.

  Junie lifted her eyes to meet his. The fear and love she’d felt over the past few days coalesced, leaving her confused, unsure of her ability to trust her own instincts. She’d never seen Brian so fragile. Had she pushed him too far? She reached for his arm, then realized he might have done something awful and pulled her arm back to her side.

  Peter went to him. Junie watched him wrap his arm around Brian. Brian didn’t flinch. He didn’t pull away or make a negative remark.

  Who are these people? The scene was so foreign that she had to struggle to concentrate, to remain in control. For so long she’d wanted nothing more than for Brian and his father to unite; she’d imagined the scene only moments earlier.

  “It’s okay, son,” Peter said.

  Junie waited, a lump blocking words from escaping her throat and tears falling down her cheeks. It felt like forever, waiting to hear what he had to say, but she knew only moments had passed.

  “That day in the woods. You were there,” Brian said.

  Junie shook her head. No? Yes?

  “I heard you when you were running out. I turned and saw you. I know you saw me,” he said.

  Junie’s body trembled. “N-no. I don’t—”

  Brian’s voice escalated. “Yes. You saw me standing on Lovers’ Rock.”

  Brian flashed before her, the rock held high above his head, his voice pealing through the forest like a spear. “Get outta here, squirt!”

  Junie’s head shook from side to side. “No. I didn’t see anything. I don’t remember.”

  “It’s okay, Junie,” Peter consoled her.

  “No, no. I don’t know what you’re saying. I don’t remember.”

  “She showed up. She was supposed to be at the library, but she came to the woods. She was always doing that. Right, Dad?” He turned to Peter, his eyes begging for support.

  Peter looked down. “She had a mind of her own.”

  “She came to the creek, and she saw me.” Brian swiped at his tears. “She saw me. You have no idea what it was like, living in my father’s shadow.” Brian moved away from Peter’s side, pacing next to the garden. “Always having to be perfect, get the best grades, be the best at everything. Ellen, she didn’t have to be anything but cute little Ellen. She had no pressure. There were no friggin’ expectations.” He glared at Peter. “Were there, Dad?”

  “Brian.” Junie’s voice came out as a whisper. Her heart ached for him. How could she not have known how much resentment he carried for his father? It all made sense now, the desire to move away, not join his father’s practice. The way he avoided Peter at all costs.

  “No, don’t Brian me. You’re about to hate me,” he said, and crossed his arms over his chest. Sobs racked his body. He covered his face with his hand.

  Junie went to his side. He swatted her away. “No. You have to hear this. God, you have to hear this.”

  He glared at his father, his face a mask of pain.

  “She came into the woods, and she saw me there. I told her to go away. I wanted to just be alone, just…I was smoking pot.” He glared at Peter. “That’s right, perfect Brian, golden boy Brian was toking it up, smoking pot, killing my brain cells just to stay sane. But she wouldn’t go. She said she’d tell. She said she’d make sure Dad knew.” Brian’s chest rose and fell with each heavy breath.

  Junie shook her head. “What did you do?”

  “She stood by the creek, laughing. She laughed at me.”

  “Brian?” His image flashed before Junie. The rock. “The rock. Oh God, you killed her. Didn’t you?”

  “No, he didn’t,” Peter answered.

  Junie spun to face him, her jaw slackened.

  “Brian didn’t kill Ellen. He threw a rock at her. She slipped, hit her head, and went into convulsions.” Peter recited it robotically, as if he were stating facts in a case. “She had a seizure. She fell under the water. It was too deep, too far from where he was on top of the rock. Brian couldn’t do anything to save her. He couldn’t save her. He couldn’t—” He broke down in sobs and leaned against the house. He lifted his fist and hit the bricks on the side of the house with the side of his fist.

  “It’s my fault. You heard him; he blames me. I killed Ellen.”

  Junie’s mind raced. She wondered what Ellen was thinking during her final moments. Was she panicked, scared, angry at her brother? Did she scream for her mother or father, or did she not have time to register the severity of what was happening? Junie’s chest tightened with a sickening terror. She couldn’t believe what she w
as hearing, and yet it all began to make sense. The pieces of her memory puzzle shifted slowly into place. She had seen Brian. She ran back to Katie’s, thinking he never saw her. She told Katie she’d seen him throw something at Ellen. The secret. Katie had held the secret for all these years, tortured by it. Oh God, what have I done? It made perfect sense, except…

  “Where is she?” Junie asked.

  Brian and Peter looked at each other, their faces contorted with grief.

  “Where is Ellen? Oh God, what did you do? Where is she?” She stood in the garden, weeds around her ankles, staring down her husband and father-in-law.

  “We buried her,” Peter said quietly. “We had to. The authorities never would have believed it was an accident. You saw the Brian most everyone saw, but when it comes to the law, things are different when you’re an attorney’s kid. No matter how good of a kid he was, he’d be made an example that no one is above the law. We kept it quiet. This…this would have landed him in jail. His chance at a normal life would have been over. I couldn’t lose both my daughter and my son.”

  Junie was stuck on Buried her. “Where? Oh God.” She paced. “Does Susan know? Does my mom know? Did my dad know?”

  “My mom knew. She found out. That’s why she left.”

  “She left because of her affair with my father,” Junie spat.

  “Affair?” Brian asked.

  “It wasn’t an affair. It was a friendship, and no, she didn’t leave because of that.” Peter flushed.

  “But you let my mother think she did.” Anger burned within her veins. “How could you do that?”

  “Your father knew.”

  “What?”

  “He knew. He saw me that night in the garden. I broke down and confessed to him.”

  Junie shot her eyes to the garden. The garden. Oh my God.

  “Your father knew. He told me what to do, what to use, for—”

  Nausea rose in Junie’s throat. My father? “Did you know that my father knew what happened?” she asked Brian.

  “I had no idea that he knew, but it makes sense. He never wanted you to marry me.”

  “You knew that he didn’t want me to marry you?” Junie looked at Brian through new eyes. He’d never said a word to her. Why? “You never said anything, and why wouldn’t my father have told me?”

  Brian shrugged. “Why make it harder for you? I knew how hurt you were, going against your father’s wishes. Why make it worse than it had to be?”

  “Your father knew how much you loved Brian, and he knew Brian hadn’t hurt Ellen,” Peter said. “He couldn’t hurt Ellen. Your father loved him. He just couldn’t accept what had happened. He knew Brian didn’t do it; he knew it was the truth. But he…he understood why we did what we did, and he helped us to understand what we needed to do for her—”

  “Daddy?” Junie whispered.

  “Junie, about a month before he died, we talked. He told me he forgave Brian long ago and that Brian was an excellent father and husband. Your father, he was a brilliant man. He knew Brian would never hurt anyone on purpose.”

  “You threw the rock,” she accused Brian.

  “I did. Not at her. I threw it at the big tree. You know, the one that the roots go over the rocks?”

  She thought of the tree shading the creek and then of the roses she’d found on the rocks.

  “I hit the tree. I swear to you, Junie. I would never have thrown a rock at Ellen. I loved her. I was jealous, but she was—” Brian’s shoulders arced forward. Strangled sobs came from deep within his chest. He gasped for a breath, wiping at the tears that streamed down his cheeks. “She was my squirt, my sister,” he cried. “I loved her. I loved her!”

  “The roses at the creek?”

  “I put them there,” Brian said quietly. “I didn’t visit Dad,” he admitted. Brian wiped his tears. “I miss her. Damn it, Junie. I miss my sister. I love her. I…it…”

  Junie reached for him, then dropped her arms to her sides. She desperately wanted to run to him, hold him tight, take away his pain. She ached with love for him, and at the same time, anger, maybe even teetering on hatred—for his lies, for the loss of Ellen’s life. Her mind was twisting, her stomach burning. She had to hear the rest. No more lies. She had to be strong enough to bear the truth. Junie took a step back, away from Brian. Her hand moved to cover her mouth. She dropped it, then crossed her arms over her chest.

  “Your meetings? You’re not working on a case together, are you?” She watched their eyes meet.

  Brian shook his head. “He couldn’t take it anymore. Dad wanted to tell you, for Sarah’s sake, but I wanted to talk to you first. I thought at Deep Creek we’d have time to talk.”

  Junie’s heart ached. All these years, all the lies. No wonder Brian didn’t want to talk about Ellen. How could he? She couldn’t be near Brian or Peter any longer, but she had to know. “Where is she?” She knew the answer.

  Peter nodded toward the garden.

  “Oh God. Sarah’s digging.”

  “I’m sorry.” Peter paced. A bead of sweat glistened on his brow. He put his hands in his pockets, then pulled them out. “She found the earring Ellen was wearing when she died. I panicked.” Peter threw his hands up, then brought them down and covered his face. Through tears, he confessed, “I was too harsh. I took her by the shoulders. Jesus, I must have scared the shit out of her.” He pleaded with Junie. “I’m so sorry. I shook her. I shook her,” he repeated, as if he couldn’t believe he’d done it. “I put the fear of God into her. I didn’t mean to.” He paced. “Maybe I did. I don’t know. I just knew I had to shut her up. If anyone found out—”

  Junie slapped him across the cheek, sobbing, unable to erase the image of Peter shaking Sarah, scolding her, terrifying her. “How dare you,” she seethed, and then turned her back to him.

  “I never would have said anything to her had I known where it would lead or the damage that it would do.” Peter walked in front of Junie, swiping at the tears in his eyes. “June, I screwed up. What I did to Sarah, the fear I incited. My God, I’m a monster. You’re right. I told her that her father could go to jail, that it would ruin her family.” He sobbed, clenching and unclenching his fists. “She was so frightened. No wonder she stopped talking. How can you ever forgive me?” He turned to Brian. “I thought we’d lose him, too. I thought he’d—we’d go to jail.”

  “You used my daughter to protect yourself. That’s unforgiveable. What type of person are you?”

  “Junie—” Brian interrupted.

  Junie held her hand up to quiet him. She knelt, placing her hand beneath the weeds and closed her eyes. He’d scared Sarah into submission. He’d caused her regression. Junie rocked forward and back, trying to keep the hatred that burned inside her at bay. He’d ruined Sarah’s life. Brian had stolen Ellen’s life. Ellen. A strange sense of relief washed through her. Junie wasn’t losing her mind. Ellen hadn’t been sold as a sex slave. She wasn’t taken by a stranger and tortured. She was dead. Ellen was dead—and now she had to save Sarah.

  Chapter Fifty-One

  Junie hung up the phone, ready to face her daughter. Thank goodness Theresa had taken her emergency phone call. Junie explained that Peter had told Sarah not to tell her or Brian about Ellen’s earring that she’d found in the garden because it would really upset her and Brian. She didn’t go into details about what had happened to Ellen. She couldn’t see any good coming from the sharing of that knowledge—she could barely deal with it herself—and she worried about legal ramifications. Would Theresa have to reveal what she was told? Junie wasn’t sure, and she didn’t want to find out. She needed to focus on the process of healing for Sarah.

  Theresa thought that Sarah was experiencing selective mutism with regressive side effects. In essence, the secret she held was too big for her to deal with, so she stopped speaking and reverted to a younger state, a state where much less was expected of her. Theresa indicated that it could take weeks, months, or even years to bring Sarah’s mental state back to no
rmal. She also indicated that, depending on Sarah’s perception of the safety of her environment, her desire to speak and control herself as a typical four-year-old could also return in the blink of an eye. In other words, she had no idea of timing, but thankfully, it appeared that Sarah’s regression and silence were self-imposed.

  “What are you going to do now?” Ruth asked.

  Junie watched Brian and Peter in the yard, where they remained after Junie had gone inside. She was furious with Peter for dragging Sarah into the whole mess. Peter had let his garden go after Sarah found the earring. He didn’t want Sarah wandering up and digging up anything else. Junie wondered what else there could be. Shoes? Clothing? Bones? Bile rose in her throat.

  Brian and Peter embraced. Junie couldn’t watch. The betrayal ran too deep.

  She turned away.

  “I don’t know. Can I stay here? For now, I mean.”

  “What about Bliss, Sarah’s school?”

  “Shane can handle it, and it’s not far. I can go in a few times each week.” She looked at Sarah, curled on the couch in the living room. “Besides, I think Sarah deserves a bit of a break. Theresa said to keep her life as normal as possible, so maybe you’re right, but I can’t go home, not yet. Maybe just a week or two?”

  Ruth nodded. “This is a lot to digest. Do you want to see my therapist?”

  “Maybe.”

  Junie sat next to Sarah and brushed her curls from her forehead. Her daughter had been through so much. How could she not have put two and two together?

  “Sweetie?”

  Sarah did not answer.

  “You didn’t do anything wrong.” Sarah didn’t know about what had happened to Ellen, and if Junie could help it, she would never know the truth. “Daddy just gets sad about Aunt Ellen being gone, and Papa Pete didn’t want to upset him. Remember when you found the earring?”