Sexy in the City

by Alexia Adams, Galen Rose, Samantha Anne, Carolann Camillo, Nicole Flockton, Iris Leach, Olivia Logan, Nancy Loyan, Stephanie Cage (epub)

  Rachel closed her eyes, letting out a nervous laugh. She definitely saw the humor in this, maybe more so than Leigh and Tammy. Despite their prior giggling, they seemed to be taking this seriously and were both watching Jennifer hopefully. Jennifer, on the other hand, was watching Rachel closely. Rachel had a hand on her forehead and was leaning on the conference table, shaking with silent laughter. The other girls thought she was poking fun; Jennifer had seen her reaction before. Nervous giggles were unavoidable in this line of work, but she was a recruiter for a reason.

  Training her eyes on Rachel, Jennifer spoke. “Look, I’m not going to spend the next hour pulling your leg. We called you in to hire you. We like your voices, and we think our callers will too. This is an imaginative position,” she paused briefly as Rachel coughed to mask a laugh, “and it will test you. But we’re willing to train you, and teach you to make the most of your shift. You’ll only be working eighteen to twenty hours a week, but it pays twenty bucks an hour.”

  Rachel sat up straight, her eyes widening. Jennifer had just said the magic words. Twenty bucks an hour, she said to herself, and only twenty hours a week? I can make extra money without killing myself!

  Jennifer smiled in her direction. “Bonuses are also possible, after your first six months. There’s potential to make money here. But I’m warning you — it’s a trying job. You’ve got to be comfortable talking about things you wouldn’t say in normal conversation. I can help you there. But if you think you can handle it then, by all means, stick around. We’ll take care of your paperwork and get your schedule.”

  Leigh and Tammy folded their hands on the table, smiling up at Jennifer. Rachel stared at the table for a long moment. Could she justify taking this job? It’s just phone sex, she mused. She idly wondered if Cami would think the same thing. The money was good; if she could get past her conscience and her comfort zone, this might work.

  Honestly, she had nothing to lose but her apartment. Rachel knew what she had to, and thought with an inward smile that this would be a wild story to tell her kids when they were grown.

  She looked up at Jennifer with a smile and a nod. “I’m in. What’s next?”

  • • •

  “Phone sex, huh?”

  Camille watched Rachel with a mischievous glint in her eye as her best friend blushed for the third time since they sat down to lunch. The busboy at their table halted briefly before lowering his head, refilling their water glasses and hurrying away.

  “Come on, Cami,” Rachel hissed, “Seriously?”

  Camille threw her head back and laughed. “Oh, what are you ashamed of? That’s gotta be the best job in the world!”

  “And how do you work that out? Spending hours on the phone with guys who want to hear you make sucking and spanking noises,” Rachel whispered, shaking her head with an embarrassed giggle, “What the hell did I get myself into?”

  “You got yourself into a great hourly rate, that’s what,” Camille responded with a wink, “and I don’t think I’ve ever been this proud of you before.”

  Rachel snorted as she took a swig from her root beer bottle. “You are a bad influence, Camille. All I want to do is pay my rent and save a little cash, and then I’m out of there.”

  “Sounds good to me,” Camille commented, nodding her head for effect, “So did they give you a name yet?”

  Rachel swallowed. “Do you think I’ll get one? What’s wrong with my own name?”

  “There’s nothing wrong with your name,” Camille assured her, “But they might make you take a different one so that you don’t go around answering to your own name if some perv recognizes your voice.”

  Rachel snickered and shook her head. Camille let out a tickled peal of laughter and continued. “Oh my God, how scary would that be if some random Joe recognized your voice?”

  Rachel took a deep swig of her soda, gasping as she came up for air. “I forgot to tell you about something.”

  Camille gave Rachel an exaggerated gasp. “You forgot to tell me something? The hell you say!”

  Rachel laughed again. “Okay easy there, Miss Streep! Can I just tell you already?”

  Camille leaned forward with interest, batting her eyes teasingly. “Go ahead, dearest.”

  “Well, speaking of random Joes. I met a guy yesterday.”

  “Ooh, do tell!”

  Rachel smiled. “I mean, I didn’t actually meet the guy. I didn’t get his number or anything, but uh … we bumped into each other. Like literally, I slammed into him and almost fell over before he caught me.”

  Camille chuckled. “Sounds promising.”

  “Not really, but I had to tell you about this guy. I’ve never seen anyone like him before. He’s super tall, solid as a rock … total yum.”

  “You’re swooning right now, Miss Sirianni! Is he hot?”

  “Oh wow,” Rachel sang, “He’s unreal. And all man. Like a lumberjack or something.”

  Camille laughed delightedly. “Like a lumberjack? Stop it, you can’t be serious!”

  Rachel blushed, laughing out loud. “Cami, I swear! He’s massive! I ran into him at the coffeehouse downstairs and got dizzy, he was so solid!”

  Camille giggled. “Girl, he sounds awesome. But you didn’t get his number?”

  She shook her head, and Camille groaned. Rachel protested, “I couldn’t! There wasn’t time … I had to get to work!”

  “Tsk, tsk. There’s always time to get the digits.”

  Rachel stared at her burger, letting out a small giggle. “If I see him again, I’ll get them. He’s not hard to miss, he stands out over everybody else. Unless I was imagining things — that makes more sense than Hottie McCoffeehouse actually existing.”

  “Hottie McCoffeehouse, I like that,” Camille chuckled as she sipped her water, “I hope you see him again, it’s time you started dating again.”

  “Don’t start. I have to focus on work. I have no time for men right now.”

  “And how is Michelle from Hell? Does she have you doing her laundry yet?”

  Rachel smiled. “Not yet, but I’m sure that’s coming. I don’t actually get her, Cami. She has this reputation for having the best eye in the company, and I have yet to see it.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, she hands me these manuscripts,” Rachel answered thoughtfully, “and I’m supposed to write rejection letters and either mail back the document or shred it. But more than half of them are good. I mean, really good. I don’t understand why she doesn’t want them, especially since Lucy has always been vocal about taking as many manuscripts as we can handle.”

  “If they’re so good, why is she rejecting them?”

  “Here’s the thing, I asked her that,” Rachel spoke, clearing her throat, “I saw potential in two different manuscripts last week and brought them back to her. She claimed one was no good because it was too short, when we could’ve requested that the author submit a longer document. Then she shut me down over a really moving manuscript about an addict who finds sobriety and reconnects with his family through equestrian therapy. Michelle rejected it because drugs and horses are just creepy.”

  Camille let out a laugh, but changed her tune when Rachel’s expression didn’t change. “Oh, you’re serious? She rejected a manuscript because horses are creepy? Have you taken this to Lucy?”

  Rachel tilted her head to one side. “You know I haven’t.”

  Camille shook her head. “I don’t understand why. You’ve been there a month-and-a-half, and Lucy’s looking for reasons to keep you there. You can show her these manuscripts without getting on Michelle’s bad side.”

  “I don’t know that I can.”

  Camille stood, slapping a wad of cash on the table where the waiter had placed the check. Rachel followed suit, reaching for her wallet. Cami waved her money away, shoul
dering her bag.

  “I’ve got a shoot, but I want you to think about this. If Michelle’s a waste, you’re never going to get past her. You’ll be stuck as the assistant to the dumbest junior editor in existence if you’re not honest with Lucy.”

  “I’ll try talking to Michelle again. If that doesn’t work, I’ll go to Lucy, okay?”

  “Okay,” Camille nodded, pulling her friend in for a hug. “I love you, Rach. Please don’t throw your career away.”

  • • •

  Rachel sat in a training cubicle at her new job. Score! Jennifer, the only girl that Rachel could have comfortably worked with, scooted up next to her in a chair. She flashed Rachel a warm smile.

  “Are you nice and relaxed?”

  Rachel shrugged. “As relaxed as I’m going to be for someone who’s gonna be giving virtual blow jobs for the first time.”

  Jennifer chuckled. “You’ll be fine. I just have to go over some rules with you before you get started, then we’ll give you your name.”

  Rachel raised an eyebrow in amusement, “There are rules to phone sex?”

  Jennifer gave her a bemused expression. “Of course there are! I told you it was a trying job. You’re going to hear things that will blow your mind, and may make you uncomfortable. But there are two things we don’t talk about: bestiality and underage intercourse.”

  Rachel gave a shudder. “That’s heavy. Do people actually want to talk about it?”

  “More than you know,” Jennifer nodded, “When you get those calls, you advise them of the policy just once. If they persist, disconnect the call like this.”

  She pressed a few buttons as Rachel watched. Rachel made a face. “It’s gonna take me a little time to get that down.”

  “You’ll get there,” Jennifer replied with a smile, “Now, do you have any more questions?”

  Rachel nodded enthusiastically, shifting her weight in the chair. “Have you ever been turned on during a call?”

  Jennifer chuckled. “Oh yeah, definitely — some guys that call in have super sexy voices. Those are the easy calls.”

  Rachel giggled, blushing again. “And have you ever … ? You know — ”

  “God no!” Jennifer’s eyes widened and she snorted. “That’s why we’re in offices. And that’s rule number one. No dipping your vibrator in the company ink.”

  Rachel closed her eyes and allowed herself a hearty laugh, covering her mouth when she realized she might distract the other girls who were already on the phone. Jennifer pulled a sheet of paper out of Rachel’s new hire folder and placed it on the desk flat, in front of the computer screen.

  “And here’s your girl name,” Jennifer smiled, “We use different and unique names for everybody so that you can keep your identities different.”

  “I guess that’s healthy,” Rachel replied, looking down at the sheet of paper welcoming her to Orchid Communications. She found her girl name, and looked up at Jennifer in horror.

  “Kirby,” she whispered loudly, “Kirby? Like the pink cartoon blob that eats everything?”

  Jennifer chuckled again, “Not quite. Kirby is a girl’s name, and it’s pretty. It’s a unique name that incites friendly and familiar feelings. Your callers will be able to connect with you. But if you want to associate it with something, you can always associate it with the vacuum. Hmm, that’s actually not bad … ”

  Rachel cringed as Jennifer gave a small chuckle. Rachel then sighed, and asked, “Do you hate me?”

  “Why would you ask that?”

  “Are you mad at me because I laughed yesterday?”

  “Of course not!” Jennifer stared in amusement at the pained expression on Rachel’s face.

  “Well, then why would you choose Kirby? It’s such a — ”

  “It’s a sexy name, and I know you can pull it off. Let’s try it in a call and you’ll see.”

  Rachel sighed. “Oh, fine.”

  Jennifer showed her how to log in to the queue, instructing her to always use a soft voice. The goal was to always sound breathless, horny, and ready to go. Jennifer’s choice of words sent Rachel into a fit of giggles, and Jenn rolled her eyes with a smile. As Rachel struggled to catch her breath, her phone rang. Jennifer winked.

  “You’re on.”

  Rachel sucked in air through her clenched teeth as she put her headset on. She took a deep breath and answered the phone, searching hard for her inner sex kitten.

  She breathed, “Hi, this is Kirby.”

  There was a pause at the other end. “Like the cartoon blob?”

  Rachel nearly squealed with laughter, and disconnected the call. Jennifer looked at her in shock, but allowed herself a chuckle.

  “Christ, Rachel! Don’t do that again. Your voice sounds amazing, just hold your character in place.”

  Rachel shook her arms and hands out, trying to rid her body of the nervous energy. She took a deep breath, willing herself to last longer than ten seconds for the next call.

  Her phone rang again.

  “Are you ready to try again?”

  Rachel nodded, putting her headset back in place. “I think so. Let’s give it a shot.”

  She pressed a single button, connecting the call. “Hi, this is Kirby.”

  A mousy sort of voice answered. “Hi, Kirby. This is John.”

  Okay, seems easy enough. “What are you doing tonight, John?”

  The inquiry seemed to perk the caller up. “I’m looking to have some fun. Would you like to join me, Kirby?”

  “Sure John, I’d like that. What do you have in mind?”

  She looked to Jennifer, who urged her on with a supportive smile. Rachel squeezed her eyes shut and waited for John’s response. He seemed to be hesitant, but eventually answered.

  “Well, I like older women. Would you mind being 40 years old for me?”

  Hmm? “Um, no John. I don’t mind at all.”

  “That’s nice, Kirby. You’re sweet. Would you mind being … maybe, say fifty?”

  Rachel’s eyes widened. “Fifty? Um, no I suppose not. I can be fifty for you.”

  John let out a long sigh, and Rachel’s brow furrowed as a slight wave of nausea washed over her. But she let him continue. “You’re so good to me, Kirby. So uh, if you’re willing to be fifty, do you think you could be sixty?”

  “Sixty years old, John? Is that really what you want?”

  “No,” Jennifer whispered quickly. “Don’t chastise him!”

  John answered, “I know, I know … I’m weird.”

  Oh? No kidding! “No, no,” Rachel encouraged, “I just wanted to make sure. Sixty years old, it is.”

  John audibly shuddered, and Rachel scrunched her face in disgust. “What do you like about older ladies, John?”

  He sighed dreamily. “There’s something about all of that gray hair. Gray hair means wisdom and experience. I bet you could show me a thing or too, Granny.”

  Don’t laugh! Rachel pinched her arm as a means of distraction. “Er, I bet I could … sonny.”

  Jennifer covered her mouth, nodding her head encouragingly while trying hard not to laugh. Clearly, this was her first old lady call too. John seemed to enjoy it as well, because he drew in a deep breath.

  “Oh, Kirby — you’re so amazing. I bet I could do lots of things with that wrinkly va — ”

  With a tiny squeak, Rachel disconnected the call. She looked at Jennifer, who was near tears. She shook her head.

  “Oh my gosh,” Jennifer breathed, “That was amazing. You did a good job, I’m not sure I could have gotten that far in. I’ve never dealt with granny fetishes before.”

  Rachel’s jaw dropped. “You’ve allowed those calls before?”

  “As long as they’re not violent, sure.”

  Rachel’s eyes widened. �
��Do you think I could listen to a few calls before I jump back in there again? That was a lot to deal with.”

  Jennifer chuckled. “We can arrange that. Come on into the quality control room, we’ll listen to a few calls there.”

  With a sigh of relief, Rachel followed Jennifer into the back room. Jennifer handed her a headset and quickly taught her how to pick up calls and listen in. And as Rachel snooped in on a call with a guy who loved to spank himself, she wondered how many showers it would take to wash the night off of her body.

  • • •

  The next day arrived entirely too fast. Training lasted until well past midnight, leaving Rachel to function on less than six hours of rest. All things considered though, Rachel had to admit she had fun. The calls would take some getting used to, but she saw herself adjusting well. It’s only six months, she reminded herself, and you’ll be junior editor in no time. She stood in line at the coffee shop beneath the building that housed Equinox Publishing, her eyes burning from lack of sleep. Certain that a frappe would make the world right again, she waited patiently to place her order.

  Her patience was rewarded with quick service, and she held her iced coffee drink lovingly as she scooped it up from the counter. Sleepily, she suppressed a yawn and turned to head upstairs where, undoubtedly, another stack of wasted manuscripts awaited her attention. Rachel hadn’t taken five steps, when her toe caught on the edge of one of the rugs. It sent her falling forward; her frappe went flying ahead of her.

  “Oh!”

  Before the exclamation had completely escaped her lips, she felt a pair of hands grab onto her. The floor rushed up toward her face, then away again as she was yanked into a standing position. Disoriented, she grabbed onto the mystery arms for dear life. A familiar voice boomed above her.

  “Good God, how do you make it to work?”

  Rachel’s breath caught in her throat and she realized she was caged in a pair of strong, massive arms. Her eyes trailed upward, past a strong chest and a sprinkling of hair. Her gaze extended further and she finally saw his face. Those eyes, the smile that dripped with swagger. Hottie McCoffeehouse.