The Wicked Wand

by Steve Shilstone

A great shout of victory and relief erupted from the Acrotwist Clowns, and the river of nonsense picked me up and whirled me back down the steps to the Great Hall and deposited me in Fan Wa’s Chair, where a quill pen was thrust into my hand and a book with a checkerboard cover was thrust in front of my face. Pages were turned, all of ‘em powder blue with neatly green-inked scribble scrawls, until a blank blue page confronted me. At my elbow, I noticed an inkpot brimming with green ink in its socket in the arm of the chair. I knew what to do. I knew full thoroughly the Gwer drollek stories. I dipped the pen into the ink, wrote in rune on the blank blue page. In this, your language from down the Well, what I wrote translates so such:

  CLOCK MAINTENANCE

  completed this very day

  FAN WA

  Chapter Ten

  QUEEN JEBB BECOMES RAKARA

  “Two harks and one huzzah!” shouted Queen Jebb. “The new Fan Wa, the new Harick, the Bekka Ja, has completed Clock maintenance and signed the book. We will now clean the Hall, step to the Sudser, and prepare the Nighttime Sea Grass Tea.”

  The Acrotwist Clowns fell to cleaning the Hall with no delay and, truth, with silent glee. Walls and floors, trapezes and trampolines, everything all was scraped clean, wiped and polished. Ladecarts were hauled in. Cleaning towels mucked with crusts and fillings were carted away. The only sounds were slapshoes slapping the floor and various Clowns chuckling.

  “Fairly done, good Bean ... Queen ... Queen Jebb,” I commented, truly so such impressed was I with Kar’s Queenly command and the Clownly obedience.

  “Step to the Sudser, Fan Wa. You shall be the first to cleanse, not I,” announced Kar formally, standing tall, yellow-gloved fists on hips.

  I knew what an honor it was for Kar to let me go first. An honor and a surprise. I was quickly glad to enter the Sudser. Sticky pie filling dribbling down my neck was not for me a comfort. I left Fan Wa’s Chair and made my way to the multi-colored patchmark Sudser door. I was more than familiar with it from my many previous island visits as common bendo dreen Bekka of Thorns. I latched myself in with a turn of the latchwheel and felt the cool ticklish wind. It circled me from hat to buckle shoes. Out I came, so such speedily cleansed and dried. Queen Jebb waited for me and greeted me with a wink. She sped into the Sudser for a thin span of time and emerged spotless clean.

  “Acrotwist Clowns, hear your Queen,” she boomed. “Line up for the Sudser by height plus age divided by shoe size!”

  The Clowns began tripping and falling over each the other and continued to do so such while shouting out numbers and rune fractions and recipe ingredients. The commotion continued for a good four or five spans of time. Queen Jebb elbowed me one and winked again.

  “Now watch this,” she whispered.

  She shimmered to shift, and there beside me hanging upside down in the air was Rakara, Kar’s true jrabe form. Her dark green mantle pooled above her. Her enormous lavender ears stuck out from her mass of orange hair. Her sightless milky white eyes did not blink. The line of Acrotwist Clowns paid her no heed, having at long and at last successfully formed.

  “Ye Acrotwist Clowns, your Queen now be Rakara! ‘Why?’ ye may ask. I will tell ye,” called out Rakara, and the Clowns turned their painted faces her way. “Step to the Sudser. Clean ye up. Then prepare the Nighttime Sea Grass Tea. Your Queen Jebb would taste it as Rakara, the jrabe. Bring ye the tea to my Chamber. It be the first time for me, your Queen Jebb, to entertain the new Fan Wa after so such a success of Clock maintenance and book signing. I would be Rakara as I entertain her. No Queen has ever done so such before. I will be the first! Be that not a truth?”

  The Acrotwist Clowns nodded in agreement, all of ‘em. And why not? Kar was the first and only Queen they had ever had. Anything new she did as Queen was always and ever a first. Kar likes it so such that way. Kar is Kar, whether winged cloud or Dragon or bendo dreen or anything other. She thrills to do things no one else has ever done. Truth, no one would want to do most of the first things she does. So such like as thrusting her arms into highboots and waving ‘em over her head while she hopped backward reciting bendo dreen poetry. She did that once in the hedge when we were younglings. Kar is Kar.

  She floated as Rakara, upside down jrabe, to the Chamber where she lived whenever she was Queen Jebb. There we chatted like we do while waiting for the Nighttime Sea Grass Tea.

  Chapter Eleven

  CONVERSATION IN QUEEN JEBB’SCHAMBER

  “This be a nice rest, be it not, Bek? Ye as Harick, me as jrabe. Tell me true, did ye really fix the Clock?”

  “There was nothing long ... wrong with it. My crystal ... ring ... was deer ... no ... clear ... yoss. No message of ... danger ... from the ... the ... crystal hall ... ball ... back at the cottage. So such the block ... Clock ... was mine, twine, fine! Yoss!”

  “Have ye had your fill of tea? More pebblecake?”

  “No more tea. No more pebble ... bake cake. Kar, glisten ... listen. In the morning early, we ... we ... we ...”

  “Should search for the wand. And I have a tasty idea about that. I do! I have a truly sharp idea. Thorn sharp! Remember the Gwer drollek tale which was so such somewhat about my very own father, Dak the jroon? Of course ye do. Why do I even ask? The first! Bek! The first! I be the first and only jrabe jroon ever!

  “Kar! Settle! What is your ... your harp ... sharp ... idea?”

  “This. Listen. This be it. We’ll go north where Dak played the Ledgemoon Game with Sill and Fiss.”

  “The twins? The ... Edge? Circle Island? The ... the Log ... no ... Fog ... yoss ... Maze? The Island of ... of ... of ...”

  “Spitting Sand. True. All those things. And The Hollows. Ye forgot The Hollows! Places all we’ve never seen! We’ll be the first jrabe jroon and Harick to travel together north beyond north over the Wide Great Sea!”

  “You think ...”

  “That the Great Sea Fire Spout be somewhere out there in the potent magic mysteries of the north? I think it be. It be there somewhere amongst The Edge, Circle Island, Fog Maze, The Hollows, Spitting Sand Island. Somewhere among ‘em. It seems so such possible, doesn’t it, Bek?”

  “North?”

  “North.”

  “It is an ... idea.”

  “What better? Your rings be not itching to say different, be they?”

  “No ... no ... north. In the ... morning. North. We’ll follow the ... Gwer drollek bath ... path of Sill and ... and Fiss, the twins. It’s a good idea, Kar.”

  “And I was the first to think of it. Such in addition, even if we don’t find the wand, which we like as probably will, but even if we don’t, we’ll see The Hollows and the Fog Maze and The Edge and Circle Island and Spitting Sand. Why haven’t we gone there before? No matter. We be going now. I mean, in the morning. Not now, but in the morning. Of course, we could go now if ye would use your ruby alertness rings.”

  “Kar.”

  “Yes?”

  “Settle. And please shift ... shift to bendo dreen. Your bloating ... floating ... upside down makes me ... makes me ... dizzy. Yoss. Let’s reap ... sleep. Test. Rest. We need ... need plenty of ... nest ... rest. North. In the morning. It’s a wrong ... strong ... no ... long way. Yoss. That’s it. It’s a good ... idea, Kar. Good.”

  “I know. I was the first to think of it.”

  Chapter Twelve

  ABOVE THE WIDE GREAT SEA

  In the morning we were away while Acrotwist Clowns not on Clock Watch still snored. Kar, shifted to winged blue cloud, drifted nervous circles high above Fan Wa’s Island. She waited impatiently for me to explain to her what I meant by what I’d said at the break of dawn in her Queen Jebb Chamber. What had I said? I’d told her to wait for me above the Island where I would join her with a pleasant surprise. So she flitted this way, that way, an impatient cloud. I rose in lazy circles on my broom to deliver my surprise.

  “What is it?” she hissed, shifting to half-Dragon, half-cloud as I neared.

  “You’re the burst ... first half-Dragon,
half-cloud,” I commented.

  “I don’t care. What’s the pleasant surprise?” she snapped.

  So such was she that eager. Never before had I known her to sweep aside a first. I wasn’t worried my surprise would fail to please her. I knew it would. It did.

  “I am going to bruise a sting ... no ... use a ring,” I announced.

  “Oh! What? Which one? For why?” she bubbled, shifting all the way to slender silver Racing Dragon with curve back horns and moss green neck fringe.

  “This double diamond ... for greed ... no ... speed! Yoss! That’s it!” I said, wiggling the first finger on my right hand where I wore the double diamond ring and its neighbor, the black jade. “I can cake ... make the ... the both of us ... flash across the pie ... the sky like as ... like as ... like as ...”

  “Like as what?” screamed Kar, zipping around me, fro, to, to, fro. “Oh, I don’t care. Whatever it is, do it!”

  “Lightning,” I finally finished. “But first we need to be drier ... higher.”

  Kar zoomed off and up with no delay for thought, and from time to time glanced back at me and, even though with silver Dragon shoulders, shrugged like we do as if so such to ask, “Is this high enough?” When Fan Wa’s Island below us was a speck on the Wide Great Sea, I waved at Kar to stop. She skidded a turn and threw herself down next to me.

  “Try it out, Bek. Go ahead. Use the ring,” she grinned at me with her Dragon fangs.

  “I want my pond ... wand. Great Sea Fire Spout. North,” I said, and I mumbled a chant to the top diamond, twisted the ring to bring the bottom diamond up, top diamond down, repeated the chant.

  Flash! A blur. A rumble hiss. Stillness.

  “Did you do it? Was that it?” asked Kar, gliding along beside me.

  “I ... think so such ... maybe not,” I said, sighting a speck on the Wide Great Sea far below.

  Fan Wa’s Island? Or some other? I motioned Kar to follow me down. If the double diamond chant had failed, it would still be Fan Wa’s Island. A jumble of lively thrill swept up through me when the island took size and shape with our descent. Not Fan Wa’s Island. No. Red. Puffs of red. Spitting!

  “The Island of Spitting Sand! I’m the first to say it!” roared Kar.

  We swooped to settle on the red dunes of sand, Kar first, me second. Here, there, all around us, geysers of red sand fountained.

  “We passed everything other so sudden from the Gwer drollek story of when Dak played Ledgemoon with the twins that we didn’t see ‘em,” said Kar, excited and disappointed all mixed together.

  “On the way ... stack ... back, we’ll visit ‘em all, Edge ... Daze ... Maze ... Hollows ... Circle ... Circle Island, all of ‘em,” I reassured her. “Wand first.”

  “We’re on the Island of Spitting Sand, Bek! All right. All right. Wand. Let’s find your wand. Great Sea Fire Spout.

  North, I said. I said north, didn’t I? Well, this is as north as any Gwer drollek story goes. My father Dak led the twins to the Ledgemoon here. Right here! Spitting Sands! It’s ...”

  “Kar, settle. We’ll flow ... go ... norther,” I said, pointing a trembling finger to the distant horizon.

  Why was my finger trembling? From a point on that distant Wide Sea horizon a tiny plume of smoke curled upwards. I could make it dance on the tip of my trembling finger. Great Sea Fire Spout? Or not?

  Chapter Thirteen

  ENCASED IN A BUBBLE

  I took command of myself and announced, “I’m going to lose this string ... use this ring. And you must lift ... shift ... to bendo dreen, Kar.”

  I showed her the lodestone patched in white jade on a silver band. Without comment of any such sort, she nodded her silvery Dragon head and shimmered a shift to bendo dreen Kar. On the island of red dunes we stood while all around us puffs of sand popped in hissing gusts, spattering misty red-grain showers. Kar’s gaze was fixed intently on me. Her yellow green face wore a solemn expression tinged with admiration. So such was she impressed by my confident manner and bearing.

  “Why do I have to be bendo dreen? What does that ring do?” she asked in a tone of hushful respect.

  “You should see ... be ... bendo dreen ... because ... because because. Just because. The ring will bloat ... no ... float us ... encased in a ... in a ... protective ... yoss ... protective ... trouble ... rubble ... bubble! Yoss! That’s it!” I told her with some force, if not logic.

  “Why do we have to be encased in a protective bubble?” asked Kar, this time whispering with respect.

  “It will allow ... allow us to boat ... coat ... float through livers of wire ... rivers of ... of ... of ... of ... brimstone lava!” I replied.

  “But I can shift to fire. I don’t need ... wait. I’ll be the first jrabe jroon to float encased in a bubble! Such! Make the bubble, Bek! Use the ring!” said Kar, suddenly impatient and hopping about.

  Why did I want to be encased in a protective bubble? If the plume of smoke on the horizon was for truth the Great Sea Fire Spout, I felt a need to plunge into it, descend in a search for orruneries and my wand. I remembered when Kar and I visited the orruneries under the Orrun Mountain Hollow and how the heat of the place blasted me far from comfort. I wanted the calm cool of a protective bubble. And so such truth besides, I thought it would be fun.

  “Settle, Kar. Stand quiet!” I said without a pause or a flaw.

  Kar settled and stood quiet. I rubbed the lodestone the proper number of times in the proper circular manner while muttering the proper bubble chant. Ploop! We floated up, encased, from the sandy red dunes. I pointed my broom at the plume of smoke on the horizon. The bubble floated in that so such direction. Kar’s grin traveled from ear to ear. She nudged me a good one in the side, causing the broom to swerve to the left, and therefore the bubble, too. I gave her a frown and recovered my stance, broom pointing at plume.

  “Sorry,” said Kar. “Can I roll? Jump? Will it trampoline? Seems slippery. Can I slide? Can I ...”

  “Settle! Yoss, yoss, yoss, and yoss. Do it all, but don’t jump ... bump me. I have to ride ... guide ... by ... pointing ... the ... loom ... broom,” I said.

  Kar asked me if she could shift to Queen Jebb, and I nodded that I supposed she could. She did so and tumbled and jumped and bounced and slid all around while laughing and singing. She crashed into me eight or ten times. Our bubble so such zigged and zagged through the sky. I didn’t care. I got the giggles. I found I could bounce and keep the broom aimed true. The long happy day drew to a close, and we collapsed exhausted at the bottom of the bubble, giggling weakly and nibbling on conjured lemon cottages. We observed with satisfaction a giant cone of volcano spouting a plume of smoke fair near below us.

  “Great Sea Fire Spout,” said Kar, no longer Queen Jebb, but once again bendo dreen Kar.

  “At sunsink,” I murmured.

  I yawned a great yawn, and Kar yawned, too.

  “In the morning. Vest now. Rest. I’ll point the bubble to hide the bee ... ride the sea,” I said.

  “You could ruby ring us alert,” suggested Kar.

  “Morning,” I insisted, pointing the broom downward.

  We sank to the sea and rode there, rocked on gentle billows to sleep. But first, of course, I remembered to cap the broom with my witchly hat and to chant the anchor chant. Cap and chant. So such I knew some unknown how to keep the bubble in place while we rested on the sea beside the great cone mountain of volcano.

  Chapter Fourteen

  DOWN THE SPOUT

  In my dream, Comb the Hutkeeper jabbed at me with what I knew was the wand while at the self and same time she chanted over and over and over again ,”Imagine my pleasure.” I squirmed away from her and said, “Pop it!”

  “Pop what? The bubble?” asked Kar. I fell up from the dream and pried open my eyes.

  I looked at my lavender hands. Shock. Twenty-two rings. Shock. Harick. Harick. I was Harick, no longer bendo dreen. Such was so. I sat up. Encased in a bubble floating on the sea. Kar pointing at the red dawn sky. Broo
m. Hat. I took the hat and placed it on my head. The broom I held in my hand.

  “Orruneries ... Wand,” I croaked, guiding the bubble up the steep flank of the volcano.

  Cracked crust, black. Ember fires glowing in fissures. Up. Up. Up. Over the rim and into the smoke. Smoke swirling in gray bands all around the bubble. Descent. Smoky swirls thicken, engulf the orb. Tinge orange. Tinge red. Molten fire lava below. Brimstone. Descent. Bubble surrounded by rage of red, yellow and white gold magma. Cool in the bubble. Kar glanced at me. We shrugged like we do.

  “Well, are you going to summon ‘em, talk to ‘em?” asked Kar.

  “Yoss,” I replied. “Orruneries! Orruneries of the Great Sea Fire Spout! I am Bekka Ja Harick! I beak ... seek my frond ... wand. I fish ... wish for my towers ... powers to be complete. Yoss! That’s it! Neatness counts!”

  Kar rolled her eyes. Outside the bubble a shape with willowy arms wriggled into fluttery view. Kar gave me an elbow. I gave her one back. We shrugged.

  “When we go to live on the sun, it might be warm enough,” hissed the orrunerie, dripping blue flames from its knowing fiery buckletar eyes. “When we go to live on the sun, what bliss it will be. Our minds will be cleared of ice. We might be able to remember.”

  “Remember what?” interrupted Kar.

  I nudged her hard. She nudged me harder. We had a short nudge fight. Meanwhile, the orrunerie blended away, but quickly so such two more appeared above us at the top of the bubble.

  “When we go to live on the sun,” they boiled in unison, “we will for once and for all and forever be warm enough. Never more will we have a care or a worry or a troublesome chill.”

  The orruneries blended away. Though we could not sense it, the bubble was sinking lower and lower. We discovered so such when of a sudden under our feet it bumped to a stop.

  “What’s this? Where now?” asked Kar.

  “I ... I ... back up,” I said just so such to say something, and I pointed the broom up just so such to do something.