by Caz Finlay
Siobhan blinked at him, trying desperately to think of an answer – a lie – but none came to her. Her throat screamed in pain as her lungs gasped for breath, burning through the lack of oxygen. He was going to kill her if she didn’t answer him soon. Not sure if answering him would make him release his grip, or kill her, she gave the only answer she could – the truth.
‘Connor,’ she gasped.
Jake let her go and she dropped to her knees, clutching her throat and gasping for air.
‘Connor? My Connor? Connor Carter?’
The tears rolled down Siobhan’s face. ‘Yes,’ she sobbed.
Jake staggered backwards, shaking his head. ‘No! You’re lying,’ he said.
Siobhan shook her head.
‘You’re a lying fucking whore,’ he snarled. ‘I’m done with you. If I ever see your miserable face again, I’ll fucking kill you.’
The next thing Siobhan heard was the slamming of the door.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Paul and Connor drove to The Blue Rooms after their breakfast at Maria’s café.
‘Did Jake say he’d meet us here?’ Connor asked Paul as they let themselves into Jake’s office.
‘Yeah. As soon as he’s done what he needs to do at home, he’ll come straight here.’
‘I wonder if he’s told her yet?’ Connor asked as he sat down in the leather chair that was usually occupied by Jake.
Paul looked at his watch. ‘I hope so. How do you think she’ll take it?’
‘She’ll probably smash the telly over his head,’ Connor replied with a laugh. ‘Either that or she’ll burst into tears and hang onto his leg so he can’t leave.’
‘Women, eh!’ Paul said with a shake of his head. ‘Too much like hard work. Is it any wonder I prefer men?’
‘Oh yeah, coz Jake is much easier to handle, isn’t he?’ Connor snorted.
‘He is if you know how,’ Paul said with a wink.
Connor shook his head. ‘I don’t want to know, Bro.’
Jake floored the accelerator and sped through the streets of Liverpool towards the town centre and The Blue Rooms. Siobhan had to be lying. Otherwise nothing made any sense. Connor and Siobhan? It couldn’t possibly be true. Connor would never lie to him. But why would Siobhan say that if it wasn’t true? To drive a wedge between him and the twins, that was why. He needed to speak to Connor and find out the truth for himself.
Striding through The Blue Rooms, Jake burst into the office at the back of the club to see the twins waiting for him. They looked at him as he strode in. There was something about the way they looked at him. Suddenly, he felt like he was a stranger bursting into there, and not the man whom only that morning they had considered their brother. Now he felt like the enemy. Was he?
‘Is it true?’ Jake asked, looking directly at Connor.
‘Is what true?’ Connor said, a look of bewilderment on his face.
‘About you and Siobhan?’ Jake snarled.
Connor’s face paled as he turned to look at Paul, and Jake knew that Siobhan had told him the truth.
Turning back to Jake, Connor started to talk. ‘Look, Jake—’
Propelled by an indescribable rage, Jake launched himself across the room and over the desk at Connor who put his arms up in defence. Bringing his right hand back, Jake swung it towards Connor’s face with every ounce of strength he had. Before the punch connected, Paul grabbed his arm and pulled him back, wrapping him in a bear hug. ‘You don’t want to do this, mate,’ Paul said softly in his ear.
Mate! The word meant nothing to him any more.
Shrugging Paul off, Jake spun around and glared at him. ‘You knew, didn’t you?’
Before Paul could answer, Connor started talking again. ‘Just calm the fuck down, Jake, and we can sort this out.’
Jake lunged for Connor again, but was once again stopped by Paul.
‘You pair of lying, two-faced cunts,’ Jake spat as he shrugged away from Paul once more.
‘Jake,’ Paul said.
‘Fuck off!’ Jake snapped. ‘Fuck off out of my club. If either of you ever set a foot in here again, I’ll kill the fucking pair of you.’
Connor stood up and walked towards Paul. With a final glance at Jake, the two of them walked out of the office. Jake watched them go before slumping to the floor with his head in his hands. His whole world had just crashed down around him. There was no one he could trust. They were all a shower of lying, back-stabbing cunts. There was only one person who had never let him down. Only one person who had ever really had his back. Taking his mobile phone out of his pocket, he dialled her number.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Grace paced anxiously up and down her hallway, worried that she’d wear a groove into the oak floor if Jake didn’t arrive soon. He’d sounded so upset and angry on the phone, but he’d refused to tell her why, except to say that he couldn’t trust anyone any more. She knew that wasn’t true, but had no idea what could have caused him to make such a statement. Obviously, something terrible had happened. She’d popped her head into the study to ask Michael if he knew anything about what might be going on, but he was deep in conversation about work, so she’d left him to it. Oscar was fast asleep having his afternoon nap and Belle was in nursery, so she didn’t even have her youngest children to distract her. All she could do was wait for Jake’s arrival. Her stomach almost dropped through the floor when she finally saw Jake’s shadow approaching through the stained glass of the front door.
Opening the door before Jake could knock, she saw his tear-stained face and pulled him inside.
Grace placed her hand on Jake’s shoulder as she followed him into her living room. She’d never seen him looking so upset and her stomach churned at the thought of what he was about to tell her.
‘Sit down, Son,’ she said as they neared the large, comfortable sofa.
He shook his head and walked over to the cabinet where she kept the expensive bottles of brandy she and Michael had bought on their last holiday. He took out one of the open bottles and a crystal tumbler and started to pour himself a glass.
‘Want one?’ he asked Grace.
She shook her head. ‘No, thanks. What’s wrong, Jake? Tell me what’s going on.’
Jake took a large swig of brandy and looked at her. She was sure he was about to speak when the door opened and Michael strolled in.
‘I need to go into work,’ he sighed. ‘Should only be for an hour. There’s been a mix-up with some of the lads’ wages.’ Upon seeing Jake in his agitated state, he frowned. ‘All right, mate. What’s up?’
Grace watched as her son stared at Michael for a moment, as though sizing him up.
‘You knew, didn’t you?’ Jake snapped.
Michael stepped closer to him. ‘Jake…’
‘You fucking knew!’ Jake shouted.
Grace rose from her seat. ‘Knew what? What the hell is going on?’
Michael looked towards her and was about to speak when Jake launched himself across the room and punched Michael in the jaw, causing him to stagger backwards.
‘Jake?’ Grace screamed. ‘What the hell are you doing?’
‘You fucking bastard,’ Jake shouted as he lunged for Michael again. This time, Michael was ready for him and he managed to overpower him, pushing him down onto the sofa.
‘What the hell is going on?’ Grace shouted at the pair of them.
‘Ask your husband,’ Jake snarled. ‘He’s the one been keeping secrets.’
Grace turned to look at Michael but before she could speak he cut her off. ‘Me keeping secrets? What about you? You’ve been keeping a pretty fucking big one of your own, haven’t you, Jake? Don’t you think Siobhan knows all about you carrying on behind her back? After all, it’s been going on since before you even got married. Have you considered that’s why she went looking elsewhere?’
Jake bounced up from his seated position. ‘You fucking cunt,’ he spat, almost foaming at the mouth. ‘I’ll fucking kill you,’ he said as he went
for Michael again.
This time, Grace caught him by the arm. She wasn’t sure if she’d just misheard, but she could have sworn Michael accused Jake of cheating on Siobhan. ‘Will one of you tell me what the hell is going on before I slap the pair of you myself?’
Jake turned to her and his face crumpled. He started to shake his head and she pulled him to her, wrapping her arms around him as he started to sob. She glared at Michael who stood looking on wordlessly.
After a few moments, Grace pulled Jake away from her and held his face in her hands. ‘What’s going on, Jake?’ she said softly.
He sniffed and she was reminded of him as a small boy. Her heart almost broke to see him in such obvious pain. ‘Isla’s not mine, Mum,’ he sniffed.
‘What? Of course she is,’ Grace replied.
Jake shook his head. ‘No, she’s not. Siobhan told me herself. Ask your husband if you don’t believe me.’
Grace felt her heart sink through her chest and onto the floor. If she wasn’t holding onto Jake she wasn’t sure she’d remain upright. She glanced at Michael. What the hell did this have to do with him?
‘So who is her father then?’ she asked, dreading the answer.
‘Connor,’ Jake snarled.
Grace was ashamed to admit that the first emotion she felt was relief. For an awful moment, she’d thought that Jake was implying Michael was Isla’s father. But Connor! That was almost as bad. ‘Connor? Our Connor?’
Jake stepped back from her and wiped his eyes. ‘Yeah,’ he snarled. ‘And he knew all about it.’ He nodded towards Michael.
‘Is this true?’ Grace asked her husband.
‘It’s not that simple,’ Michael replied.
‘I never said it was simple,’ Grace snapped at him. ‘I asked you if it was true.’
‘Connor might be Isla’s dad,’ Michael said. ‘But Siobhan and Connor aren’t the only ones keeping secrets, are they, Jake?’
‘Fuck off!’ Jake growled as he walked towards Michael.
‘For God’s sake, will one of you tell me just what the hell is going on here?’ Grace shouted. ‘What secrets?’
‘Tell her,’ Michael said to Jake.
Jake turned to her, his face dissolving into tears. ‘I think I’m gay, Mum.’
The shock hit her like a slap to the face, but she pulled him to her. It was the last thing she’d expected to hear, but she would deal with her own feelings later. Right now, she had to be there for her son. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ she asked.
Jake shrugged. ‘I couldn’t.’
‘You can tell me anything. You know that,’ she said softly as she wiped the tears from his cheeks with her thumbs.
Grace was aware of Michael scowling in the background. ‘What?’ she snapped at him. ‘Did you know about this too?’
Suddenly, she saw the anger flash across Jake’s face again then and he stepped back from her.
‘Yes, he fucking did,’ Jake snapped. ‘I’ve got to go, Mum. I need to sort my head out.’ Then he was walking out of the door faster than Grace could follow him.
‘Jake,’ she said after him. ‘Talk to me.’
‘I’ll ring you tomorrow,’ he shouted before slamming the front door behind him.
Grace glared at her husband, noticing his obvious discomfort. ‘So?’ She folded her arms and glared at him. He’d better be able to offer some sort of plausible explanation for everything that had just happened. Because surely all of this was some kind of huge misunderstanding?
Michael swallowed and took a step towards her. ‘I think you should sit down.’
Grace sat on the sofa, thankful to feel something solid beneath her legs, while Michael perched on the coffee table in front of her. She took a deep breath to steady her breathing and try to calm the thunderous beating of her heart in her chest. She unclenched her fists and stared at her husband, waiting for him to speak.
‘Connor told me at Isla’s party last week that there was a chance he could be Isla’s biological father,’ he said as he lowered his gaze to the floor.
‘What? How?’
Michael looked up again with a slight frown on his face.
‘I’m not asking you for a biology lesson! I mean how could your son possibly be Isla’s father?’
‘Apparently, they slept together around the time Isla was conceived. It was just the once, but as we both know, once is enough.’
The reference to Belle’s conception when Michael had been married to his second wife, Hannah, didn’t escape Grace’s attention, and was no doubt designed to elicit some empathy, but it didn’t, so she ignored it. ‘So for a whole week you have known that Isla might not be Jake’s daughter, but could in fact be Connor’s child, and you didn’t think it pertinent to tell me?’
‘Grace,’ he said with a sigh. ‘It’s not that simple.’
‘You are a fucking hypocrite, Michael Carter,’ she shouted at him as she jumped up from her seat, recalling the way he’d treated her when she’d kept the fact that he was Belle’s father from him. ‘The grief you gave me for keeping secrets. When we got married we promised each other we would never keep any secrets from each other again. And you choose to keep this one?’ she shook her head.
‘For fuck’s sake, Grace,’ he snapped. ‘Can’t you see I was in an impossible situation? Connor is my son. What did you expect me to do? How could I tell you and ask you not to tell Jake? I couldn’t put you in that position. Do you think I was happy knowing something that big and not being able to tell you about it?’
‘All I know is that you have kept this from me. Every minute of every day since you found out.’
‘Grace—’ he started.
Then she remembered Jake’s other revelation, and his anger when he’d told her that Michael knew about that too. Dear God, could this get any worse? ‘And you knew about Jake being gay too?’ she asked.
‘Yes.’.
‘How? Did he tell you?’ Surely that was the only way he would know? She had always considered herself close to Jake. He and Michael got on well enough, but still, why would he tell Michael and not her?
‘No. I walked in on him and Paul.’
‘Paul?’ Grace almost shrieked. ‘Our Paul? Your son?’ She could hardly believe what she was hearing. It was all such a mess she could barely make sense of it.
‘It was ages ago. Before we got married, obviously. They haven’t been together for a long time now.’
Grace shook her head. Her blood thundered around her body, pounding in her ears and making it hard to think clearly. Within the space of a few hours, their close-knit family had been torn apart and she was wavering between feeling so angry she might implode, or as though her heart was about to break. She felt like she had been air-dropped into some American soap opera. She had to have been – because this was not how families who claimed to love each other behaved. ‘So, you’ve all been lying to me, all this time?’
‘I can explain everything, Grace,’ he said as he walked towards and reached out his arm.
‘Don’t you fucking touch me,’ she snarled at him. Then she grabbed her car keys from the table and walked out of the house, slamming the door as she went.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Grace drove around for hours through the streets of Liverpool and realised she had nowhere to go. She owned numerous properties throughout Merseyside but they were all rented out to tenants. Siobhan and Jake’s house was out of the question for obvious reasons. Her accountant, Ivan, was now semi-retired and spending six months of the year in France. Her friend Libby had got married and moved to Manchester with her wife, Maria. Almost everyone else she knew, or was close to, was a member of the Carter family. And she wasn’t ready to explain what the hell had just gone on. She could barely comprehend it herself.
Her instincts took her to her old stomping ground in the south of the city. She drove past the site of her old pub, The Rose and Crown, and noticed they were building on it now. She was glad. The ruins of that pub had been painful to see. It
had played such an important part in her life for so long – at times both her sanctuary and her prison. The place she had grown up in with her dad after her mum had died. It had been left to her at the age of eighteen when he’d passed away. She’d lived with her ex-husband Nathan Conlon in the flat above, and they’d spent some happy times there, before he’d revealed himself to be the monster that he truly was. She had raised Jake in that pub, marked his first fourteen birthdays by blowing out the candles on his cake in the poky little kitchen. It had broken her heart to lose the place, but she had burned it to the ground herself in an attempt to finally break free of her ex-husband Nathan. He’d survived the fire, but not the bullet she’d put in his chest the following day.
Before long, Grace found herself at a familiar house in Childwall. She walked up the path and knocked on the door.
After a few moments, the hulking figure of John Brennan appeared. Grace had known John for over twenty years. He had once been the right-hand man of her ex-husband, and despite the fact that Grace had killed Nathan, she and John had managed to develop a friendship of their own. More recently, he had started working for Grace after he’d helped her to track down one of the men responsible for the kidnap and attempted murder of Jake and Michael over two years earlier.
‘Grace? What are you doing here?’ he asked with a look of concern on his face.
‘I’m sorry, John. I know it’s late. But I couldn’t think of anywhere else to go. Can I come in?’
‘Of course,’ he said as he opened the door and invited her into his hallway. ‘Is everything okay?’
‘Not really. But I’d rather not talk about it, if that’s okay?’ she replied.
He smiled at her. ‘Whatever you say, Boss. Brew?’
‘Oh, I’d love one John,’ she said and gave him a half-hearted smile in return.
‘Make yourself at home,’ John said as he indicated his living room. ‘And I’ll stick the kettle on.’