by Noelle Adams
Taylor had left immediately after Stacey and Dave, saying she’d done her duty and could now go home to her dog. She’d asked if Robert wanted to leave with her, but he’d said he was fine.
No matter how infuriating he could be, she was glad he hadn’t left.
She would have been left all alone.
She kind of felt that way regardless. Like she’d lost her sister and her oldest friend and her dreams all on the same day.
“It’s just hard,” she murmured.
“I know it is.”
She turned at the quiet sympathy in his tone. “Have you experienced it? Losing everything you’ve dreamed about?”
His mouth twisted oddly before he replied, “No. I’ve never even let myself dream.”
She thought about that. It wasn’t easy because it felt like every thought she had was being drawn down into a dark pit of obscurity in her head. But she fought through it enough to nod. “That must be easier.”
“It’s supposed to be.”
“So you don’t have any dreams at all?”
He shook his head and glanced away from her. “Not about anything I can’t achieve.”
“Then those aren’t dreams. They’re plans.”
“That sounds about right.”
There was an edge of loss in his tone that she felt deeply. That spoke to her. “Maybe I should be like that. I don’t want to feel like this again.”
“You could try, but I think you’re a dreamer. Not everyone can be a cynical asshole like me.”
“That’s true.” She was so sleepy now that her head fell to one side. When darkness started falling, she popped her eyes open with a jerk. “I wasn’t asleep!”
Robert gave another one of those soft, warm chuckles. “I’d say it was touch-and-go there.”
“I’m not that tired. Just bored now.”
“If you’re bored, you probably want to get out of here.”
“Are you going to leave?”
“I’ve only been waiting for you.”
There was something about the words that made her feel good. Made her feel better. She gave him a fuzzy smile and leaned over toward him to put her head on his shoulder. She wasn’t sure why. It just felt like the thing to do at the moment. His shoulder was farther than she’d anticipated. Her lean turned into a fall. She squealed and flailed as she tried to catch herself.
He reached out to put an arm around her, saving her from the near tumble. “Okay. Now that you’ve almost fallen out of your chair, I think we should head home now.”
“Okay.” She sniffed. “I just need to say bye to my mom.” Her mother was still there, the center of attention at a table of her friends. Her father had left ages ago.
With Robert’s help, she gained her feet. And she managed to walk and talk in a generally sensible manner as she went over to say a few words to her mom and let her know she was leaving.
Robert was waiting for her at the door.
“I don’t think I should drive,” she said as they left the building and stepped into the parking lot.
“Definitely not. I’ll take you home. You can get your car tomorrow.”
“Are you okay to drive?”
“I haven’t had anything to drink for more than two hours now. I’m good.”
She trusted him. He sounded good. He sounded like he knew what he was doing and he could take care of her.
At the moment she needed that since it didn’t feel like she could take care of herself.
She fell asleep on the drive home, waking up only when he opened the passenger door and shook her gently by the shoulder. Then she had to lean on him as he helped her up the front walk and into her townhome.
She’d bought the place a couple of years ago as a new build. It was nice and she kept it neat, so there was nothing to worry about as he helped her down the hall and into her bedroom.
She fell onto the bed, her skirt flouncing around her. “I’m going to sleep in my clothes.”
“If you want. But it wouldn’t be a bad idea to take off your shoes.”
That seemed sensible. She lifted one foot to let Robert slide the heel off and then did the same with the other one.
“Thank you.” Her eyes were closed, so she couldn’t see his expression. She was starting to feel a little weird about his being in her bedroom like this.
“You’re welcome. I’m going to get you some water to put here beside you. Whenever you wake up during the night, drink some.”
“I know what to do when I’ve been drinking.”
“Get drunk a lot, do you?”
“Almost never,” she admitted.
“That’s what I thought.” He disappeared for a little while. Maybe a few seconds. Maybe long, tedious hours. Then he returned with a bottle of water.
“Are you sure you don’t want to get out of that dress?” Robert asked after setting the bottle on her nightstand.
“I do.” She couldn’t seem to move except to open her eyes. “Can you help me?”
He shook his head and leaned over. “You’re kind of a pitiful drunk. You know that, right?”
“I am not pitiful!” In spite of her words, she meekly let him help her unzip and unfasten the skirt. Then pull the bodice off her chest and untangle the skirt from her legs.
She thought his eyes might have slipped down to inspect her body, but he was clearly trying to be a gentleman about it.
It was kind of nice. That he was being that way.
It was nice that someone was nice in this world.
She sniffed as he got an oversized T-shirt out of the drawer she indicated and helped her put it on. When she collapsed back onto the bed, there were tears in her eyes.
“There’s nothing to cry about,” Robert said matter-of-factly.
“Yes, there is. I loved him.”
“It was a dream. It wasn’t love.”
“It was too love!” She forgot about her tears as she mulled over his puzzle. “At least I think it was.”
“It was a dream. It was real to you, but it wasn’t real. There’s a difference. You’ll see that soon enough.”
“I don’t think so. I think I’m going to live the rest of my life with this heartbreak.”
“No, you won’t.”
“How do you know?”
He gave her a little smile. “Because I won’t let you.”
It felt like the final word. She liked the sound of it. She nodded and closed her eyes, fumbling until she freed up enough covers to pull over her. “I’m going to sleep now.”
“Good night, Amanda. Drink the water.”
“I will if I want to. You can’t tell me what to do.”
He was chuckling as he left the room, and she fell asleep before he made it to the door.
three
THREE WEEKS LATER, Amanda perched on the edge of a stool in Ri Kensington’s bridal shop, waiting for her friend to find a bridesmaid dress in the back room.
Ri’s given name was Ariana, but no one back in school had called her that. Amanda had known her as Ri since the two of them had sat next to each other in fifth grade. Last year Ri had moved with her brother Charles to the small town of Azalea, and she had liked it enough to stay and open this bridal shop.
Amanda couldn’t imagine living in this little town, which was cute but definitely limited in terms of opportunity and convenience. But if Ri liked it, then she wouldn’t dream of questioning her. People were different. They could like what they wanted.
“Got it!” Ri’s voice preceded her appearance. She was pretty and vibrant with dark hair, fair skin, and blue eyes. “I think it’s pretty good as far as bridesmaid dresses go.”
Amanda eyed the dress as Ri held it out. It was definitely better than the dress her sister had picked out. This one was slim-cut and satin in a tasteful and discreet dark blue. “A little boring maybe,” she said. “But I’ll take that any day over yards of chiffon.”
“I think you’ll look great in it. Go put it on and then I’ll fit it for alterations.�
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Heading into a spacious dressing room, Amanda did as Ri said. The dress fit pretty well, just needing to come in a bit at the waist and up an inch at the hem. When Ri had finished with noting the adjustments, Amanda took the dress off and put back on her black trousers and stretchy wine-colored top she’d been wearing all day.
“It’s nice of Margot to use my shop,” Ri said, handing her a mug of cappuccino.
Amanda sank into a cushy chair to get comfortable as they chatted. “I mentioned that you’d opened it, and she never had a second thought about getting her dress and the bridesmaid dresses here. She’s just that way. And it’s less than an hour drive.”
Margot was Amanda’s cousin—just a year older than her and Ri. She’d always been part of Amanda’s regular social circle, which was why Amanda had ended up as another bridesmaid.
“That’s still quite a haul, so I appreciate y’all doing it.” Ri had her own cappuccino. “I’ve missed all my old friends, so it’s been nice to see you. So tell me everything.”
“Everything?”
“Yes, everything. What’s been going on? Who’s been seeing who? Who’s mad at who? I want to know everything.”
“Well, I’m sorry to say it hasn’t been all that exciting. It’s not like it was back in school when there was an ongoing soap opera of one drama after another. I don’t think any of our friends are dating anyone new. No one has broken up. Everyone’s mostly just focused on their jobs and their families and pretty much staying out of trouble.”
Ri made a face. “Seriously?”
“Yeah. I think so.”
“So other than Dave and your sister, there’s nothing.”
The sound of Dave’s name didn’t hurt as much as it had a month ago. Time did a lot to make those kinds of wounds fade. There was still a bittersweet heaviness of loss in her chest, however. Was that ever going to go away?
“Is everything all right?” Ri asked softly in a different tone. “I know you used to have a secret thing for Dave.”
“That was ages ago!” Amanda made sure her expression betrayed no hint of anything she felt or had been feeling. Ri was a friend. A good one. But there were some secrets she didn’t tell anyone—except in drunken, embarrassing mistakes to Robert Castleman.
“I know it was. I was just checking. I know it was just a schoolgirl crush, but sometimes those linger. And... I don’t know. You looked a little sad just now.”
“I’m not sad. I’m doing well. I got another promotion a few months ago. Did you hear that?”
“I did hear that. Charles told me. You’re amazing.”
“Not that amazing. I honestly think part of getting promotions is showing up on time for your job every day, doing everything they tell you to do, and not being an idiot.”
“Don’t be that way. You are brilliant. You’ve always been that way. And I’m glad the folks at your work have recognized it. Charles said you danced with him at the wedding.”
Amanda groaned and closed her eyes for a minute. “That was a very polite way for Charles to put it. I’m afraid I drank a little too much that evening.”
Ri giggled, flashing a dimple on the right side of her mouth. “He said you had a lot of champagne, but he thought it was funny. And you know what a fuddy-duddy he is. He wouldn’t have laughed if you’d done anything genuinely mortifying.”
“Well, that’s good anyway. I’m afraid I did make a few mistakes that night, but fortunately not with Charles.”
“With who then?” Ri’s blue eyes went very wide.
Amanda shook her head. She’d thought about Robert a lot since that night, but she hadn’t seen him or talked to him. It was just as well. She wasn’t sure what she’d been thinking, spilling all her deepest secrets to a man who made a point of never letting himself get too close to anyone.
“So there is someone? Did you end up in bed with the wrong guy or something?”
“I didn’t end up in bed with anyone.” The words reminded her that Robert had put her to bed. She pictured his dark eyes as he’d gazed down at her just before she’d fallen asleep.
He must have thought she was a silly little girl, getting sloppy drunk like a college kid.
It was humiliating. That was what it was.
“Oh, come on.” Ri put down her mug and leaned closer. “What’s the fun of making a mistake if you don’t tell anyone?”
“It wasn’t a mistake. Okay, it kind of was, but it wasn’t a big deal. I just drank too much and made a fool of myself with... with...” The desire to share what she’d been brooding about for the past three weeks was too strong. She admitted in a stage whisper, “Robert Castleman.”
If possible, Ri’s big round eyes got twice as big and round. “Robert Cast— You mean Taylor’s uncle?”
“Yes.” With an exaggerated groan, Amanda slouched back and covered her face with both hands. “I’m the poster child of the evils of overdrinking.”
Ri was laughing now. Couldn’t seem to stop.
“It’s not that funny.”
“Oh yes, it is. Robert Castleman! He’s always going around raising his eyebrows and looking like he’s secretly laughing at everyone. What did you do? Please tell me you threw up all over him or something.”
“I didn’t throw up. I just... I just got a little silly and talked to him a lot and stuff.”
“You didn’t sleep with him?”
“Of course not!”
“Well, he is pretty hot. You’ve got to admit that.”
“Yes, he’s hot. And maybe my drunken self had that in mind. But he wouldn’t do that. He’s kind of a sarcastic asshole, but he’s not that much of an asshole.”
“That’s good anyway. Taylor really loves him. I’d hate to be the one to tell her that her uncle took advantage of a drunk woman. So what did you tell him?”
“I’m not even sure of everything. The night is a blur. But hopefully he’ll take anything I said for intoxicated rambles. He’s probably already forgotten I exist.”
“Maybe. Or maybe he’s been daydreaming about you ever since.”
Amanda snorted. She wasn’t sure about much regarding that night, but of that point she was positive. “The man has never dreamed about anything. He told me so. And if he did, it definitely wouldn’t be about me.”
LATER THAT EVENING, Amanda was back in Richmond and was having dinner with Taylor and another of their friends, Serena.
Serena had also gone to school with them and was currently a history teacher at the same private school they’d all attended. But Taylor and Amanda had only been passing acquaintances with Serena back in school. It wasn’t until their ten-year reunion last year that they started hanging out.
Serena was a single mother and didn’t have as much freedom for socializing as they did. But this weekend her daughter was with Serena’s ex-husband, so she’d been able to go out with them.
They’d chosen a quiet Italian bistro for tonight since they were all tired after a long week at work and weren’t in the mood for revelry. The restaurant was one of Amanda’s favorites, and since it didn’t have a bar, it wasn’t loud or raucous even on the weekends.
Amanda enjoyed her pasta and salad and homemade bread as well as the bottle of Chianti they’d split. They were sharing a piece of tiramisu now and wrapping up a discussion of Serena’s grievances about her ex, who sounded like a world-class bastard.
“I do try to be civil. I mean, the worst thing for Eva would be for me and her dad to be at each other’s throats all the time. But it’s hard.” Serena pushed her wavy red hair away from her face. “I mean, just how selfish and insensitive can a man be?”
“Pretty damned selfish and insensitive,” Amanda confirmed. “I’m sorry you’re having to deal with him. But at least you’re not married to him anymore. That’s got to be a comfort.”
“It is. I’m not sure what I was thinking, getting married at eighteen. I wasn’t anywhere close to mature enough to make a good decision back then.” Serena shook her head. “Never again.
”
“Never again getting married?” Taylor asked. “Because I’d fully support that decision, but it doesn’t sound much like you.”
“I’m not saying I’m never going to get married again. But it’s going to be a really long time at least. I love my job, and I love Eva, and I love our little apartment. I’ve got great friends, and Keith is always there to help when I need a chain saw or something hung on the wall.” Keith had been Serena’s best friend for as long as Amanda could remember. He was an engineer who still lived nearby. “I don’t need a husband right now, dragging me down.” Serena smiled. “Anyway, I’m done with the whining. Someone else talk about something.”
“I’ve got nothing to talk about,” Amanda said. “Nothing new going on with me.”
She’d sometimes wondered if there was a mischievous fate who liked to determine her life. It seemed at work again just now because no sooner had she said those words than Robert Castleman walked into the restaurant.
Their table was in a far corner, but Amanda’s back was to the wall, so she could see the entrance. And there he was. Right then. Wearing a black dress shirt and tailored gray trousers and looking handsome and expensive and effortlessly sexy.
Behind him walked in an attractive thirtysomething woman. The two were obviously on a date.
Great. Exactly what Amanda needed to see just then.
“What’s the matter?” Serena asked, obviously recognizing Amanda’s distraction.
“Nothing. Just that your uncle walked in, Taylor.”
Taylor turned around. “Really? Oh, he must be on a date.”
“She’s pretty,” Serena said. “Has he been seeing her long?”
“Robert doesn’t see anyone long. I have no idea who she is, but I’m sure it’s not serious. He’s never serious.”
The words shouldn’t have reassured Amanda, but they did. Robert had every right to date whomever he wanted, and he also had a right to fall in love with them. It wasn’t Amanda’s business. She’d shared nothing of consequence with the man. She hadn’t seen or spoken to him since that night. The evening of her sister’s wedding had clearly meant nothing to him.